Chapter nine
Most of the Muppets had a little extra money. It was the leftovers from their weekly paychecks, the spare change that was lying around, their own personal savings from their piggy banks and money jars. They collected all this money and brought it to Scooter’s room, where they were sure Kermit wouldn’t see it. Soon there was a large pile of coins and bills in the middle of Scooter’s floor. He sat down with Fozzie and Rowlf and they started to sort it.
“Boy,” Fozzie said, “It’s too bad most of these bills are singles.”
“We oughta send them on a few dates. Maybe they’ll pair up,” Rowlf joked.
“Or better yet, maybe they’ll multiply,” Scooter added.
“Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the man who went to the bank and exchanged all his money for pennies?” Fozzie said. “He thought it would make more
cents! Ah, wocka wocka!”
Beauregard walked in carrying a full burlap sack the same size as the existing pile. “Here you go,” he said as he set it down.
“Wow,” Fozzie said. “Where’d you get all this, Beauregard?”
“This?” Beauregard said. “Oh, this was all on the floor at the theater.”
“That’s a lot of money,” Scooter said.
“Oh this is nothing,” Beauregard said as he walked out. “Just wait till you see what I found in the seats!”
Rowlf, Fozzie, and Scooter looked at the sack, a bit stunned.
“Well,” Rowlf said, “I guess the janitor has a little more
cents than we thought.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Alright, ladies,” Rizzo said sadly. “I guess this is good bye.”
“Rizzo, are you sure you want to sell your ‘Mice Girls’ poster?” Gonzo asked.
“If it means the theater can start servin’ full meals again,” Rizzo said as he rolled the poster up. “What are
you putting in the yard sale?”
“I don’t know,” Gonzo said. “Hey, wait a second! Maybe I could sell this old suitcase!”
“But Gonzo, you’ve had that thing for ages!” Rizzo said. “Since before I knew you! Since before you met Kermit! I mean- you used to
live outta that thing!”
“Actually, I used to live
in it,” Gonzo said. “But, it’s time to let go. No sentiments allowed. We’ve got to give all we’ve got, and save the show!”
“Alright,” Rizzo said. “In that case, I’ll sell my old “Cheese Wiz” jacket, too.”
“But Rizzo!” Gonzo said. “That’s your high school letterman jacket. That’s four years of your life!”
“Yeah? And the suitcase is ten years of yours,” Rizzo said. “Come on, Gonzo, you just said: No sentiments allowed. I’m throwin’ out my sentiments!”
Gonzo got a mischievous grin on his face. He reached for a picture frame. “Does that mean I can sell your picture of
Yolanda?” he asked.
“Hey! Give that back!”
Gonzo held the picture over his head, laughing as Rizzo tried to jump to reach it.
“Aw, come on,” Rizzo said. “This isn’t fair! Aw’right, that does it! If you sell that picture, I’m sellin’ ALL the postcards your family’s sent you.”
Gonzo sighed and handed Rizzo the picture. “You win,” he said.
Rizzo took the picture. “Thank you,” he said. “I knew you’d see things my way.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
No one expected Kermit to come down for dinner, but they set a place for him at the head of the table, where he always sat. Then they got down to business.
“Kermin can’t be home during the yard sale, hokay,” Pepe said as he twirled some spaghetti around his fork. “It would be too hard to hide.”
“Yeah, but how’re we gonna get him outta the house?” Rizzo asked as he served himself some more meatballs.
“Well I got him to eat,” Robin said. “Maybe I could get him to go somewhere, too.”
“Yeah, but we need the Frog Scouts to help with the sale,” Clifford said as he passed the spaghetti bowl.
“Yeah, and besides,” Floyd said, “You’re already writtin’ the letter.”
“So who else can get Kermit out of his room?” Rowlf asked as he dished some spaghetti onto Robin’s plate.
As if on cue, the phone rang.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kermit was still in the chair next to his bed, where Robin had left him after lunch. He was examining his lampshade again when Scooter burst in.
“Kermit!” he shouted. Kermit looked up. “Boss, Detective Keene’s on the phone
right now and he wants to talk to you!”
Kermit stood up and walked into the hall. Scooter followed him to the kitchen.
Everyone watched from their seats as Kermit came in and took the phone from Fozzie.
“Hello? ... Yes? ... Okay...”
Fozzie and Scooter sat down where they had been sitting. All eyes were on Kermit’s back.
“...Oh good,” he said without enthusiasm. “...Mm-hm... Right. Well, thanks, detective... and good luck... bye-bye.” Kermit hung up the phone and turned around. He found himself looking at all his friends, each with a plate of spaghetti in front of them. But there was one empty plate.
His plate.
He sighed and sat down in his chair. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much today, guys,” he said.
“Oh, it’s okay, Kermie,” Miss Piggy said.
“Yeah,” Rowlf said as he dished some spaghetti onto Kermit’s plate. “We understand.”
“Well... thanks,” Kermit said. “Um, anyways, Detective Keene said Bill Dakota- he’s the officer that got hurt, but- he’s gonna be okay. He might even make it back to active duty.”
“Well that’s good,” Fozzie said.
“Did they find anything on the thief yet?” Gonzo asked.
Kermit shook his head. “Not yet. But they’re looking.”
They nodded and continued to eat in silence. When dinner was over and the table was clear, Kermit pulled Fozzie aside.
“I was thinking I should visit Officer Dakota tomorrow,” he said. “He did almost die for us, after all. Would you come with me?”
“Well- sure, Kermit, of course I’ll come,” Fozzie said.
“Thanks, Fozzie,” Kermit said. Then he walked over to the couch, where several Muppets were congregating.
“Uncle Kermit,” Robin said, “I’m gonna make a card for Officer Dakota.”
“That’s a great idea, Robin,” Kermit said unenthusiastically. He sat down on the couch.
“Kermie?” Miss Piggy sat down next to him. “Are you alright?”
Kermit nodded vaguely. “I’ll be okay, Piggy,” he said.
“Are
vous certain?” She asked insinuatingly as she took his hand.
He scrunched up his face. “Yes,” he said as he pulled his hand away and stood up. “I’m certain.” He turned to look at her. She looked so hurt. He hadn’t really meant to hurt her. He sighed. “I’m sorry, Piggy,” he said. He touched her shoulder, wanting to comfort her. But he was just so cold, so numb inside. How could he feel for her, when he couldn’t even feel for himself? He jerked his hand back. “I’m sorry,” he said, and he retreated to his bedroom once more.
The others had seen. They were watching. She wiped at a tear that wasn’t really there yet. “It- it’s a step,” she forced herself to say. “He’s trying...”
They nodded. “He asked me to go with him to see Officer Dakota tomorrow,” Fozzie said.
“Well then let’s have the yard sale tomorrow,” Rizzo said.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Rowlf said.
“I’ll go call Frog Scouts and see if they can help,” Robin said.
“Hold on, Robin,” Rowlf said. “First you should make that card.”
“Oh yeah,” Robin said.
“I’ll go tell Scooter,” Fozzie said.
“We should tell everyone,” Rowlf said.
“Except for Kermie,” Miss Piggy added.
“Well yeah,” Rizzo said. “Come on, guys, let’s go!”
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