Big problem for Robin. He cleared his throat and laughed nervously while he wondered if he dare repeat himself again. Unfortunately, that decision was also made for him. Before he had time to turn his head and talk, Megan was out of shotgun, and making her way to the door.
‘’Well, wait!’’ Robin said hurriedly. He straggled after her to her front porch, stopping only when he saw Megan take a seat on the porch swing. Robin instinctively sat down next to her, and, again after some apprehension, place a smooth and supportive hand on her back. After a few seconds like that, Robin wrapped his other arm around her collar bone, pulling her close to him. Megan tried to resist, but after seeing the pleading and loving look in Robin’s eyes, she succumbed to his affection, and placed her head on his shoulder. For a brief moment, Robin could feel himself let out a little gasp – he hadn’t been expecting THAT.
‘’Oh Robin,’’ Megan sighed. Her hair was hiding her face from him, but Robin could tell from her voice that she was trying not to cry. She was taught to believe that crying was, well, a weakness, and weakness was a trait that her family didn’t tolerate. Robin, however, was taught that sometimes, tears were necessary to help you get through the tough times, and that they were nothing to be ashamed of. Keeping that in mind, he squeezed her just a little tighter to his chest, and rocked her in his arms.
‘’Shh,’’ he whispered soothingly. ‘’It’s ok. I’m here, I’m right here, and I’m not going to leave you until you feel safe.’’
Megan looked up at Robin now, a deep sorrow in her eyes. ‘’Then you might as well move in, because as long as I’m here, I never feel safe.’’
‘’Megan, ‘’ he whispered. That’s all he could say, over and over and over. That, and he just kept smoothing his hand over her back in an attempt to comfort her. Still, he felt like there was something else that he could be doing to help her; something that he should be doing… he just didn’t know what. At least, maybe not on the conscious level, that is.
He let her go just enough to lift Megan’s face up with his hand, forcing her to look at him. And look at him she did. For a few precious moments, all they could was just…look at each other. The two carried on an entire conversation without saying a word to each other, and they understood perfectly. Megan was afraid to go inside of her own house, for she knew who waited for her there. Robin was afraid for her, but he dare not admit that to her. He wanted to comfort her so badly, wanted to take all the pain away, but there was nothing he could do. It was entirely up to her, she alone had the power to change this around. Still though, Robin couldn’t help but feel useless in the situation – all he wanted was to make her happy.
As Megan stared into Robin’s eyes, she was surprised to let herself feel – warm- and safe- and happy- and loved. Yes, inside of those eyes was an entire world she never knew, but wanted to know more than anything. She wanted so much to accept was Robin was trying to hard to give her; wanted to much to let him know…but she couldn’t. There were much bigger issues at hand than this, and she knew that it wouldn’t be right, or even fair to Robin to ask him to deal with it. She forced herself to cut off her gaze, and stared straight at the cold, concrete ground. At that moment, she reluctantly but assertively pushed herself out of Robin’s embrace. She even scooted a little to her right, just to distance herself off. ‘I don’t deserve this,’ she thought.
A confused Robin turned his head to the side, staring after Megan.
‘’What’s wrong?’’ he asked in his ever gentle voice. ‘’You don’t have to go in right away if you don’t want to-‘’
‘’Oh, it’s not that!’’ she exploded. The moment’s pressure had certainly taken its effect on her, and now was he breaking point. She couldn’t hide them anymore. Megan let out the tears that she had been wanting to cry all night out. Robin saw the first tear emerge from her lovely eyes, and he caught it on his finger before it fell down her cheek. Surprised as she was, she felt much comforted by this. Robin scooted over, and wrapped both of his arms around her shoulders. He pressed his cheek next to her temple, softly humming to her, and he caught her next tear.
‘’So now it’s your job to catch my tears?’’ Megan said, only half joking.
Robin’s only response was a soft smile, and he held her just a little tighter still. ‘’I’ll be here to catch every tear if it makes you happy,’’ he whispered.
Megan’s eyes opened wide as she heard him say this. Then, as if by some magical force, she seemed to be crying a completely different kind of tears; tears of joy.
‘’You shouldn’t say those kinds of things to me,’’ she sobbed. ‘’You just shouldn’t.’’
‘’Why not?’’ Robin objected. ‘’Doesn’t everyone deserve to be happy? And doesn’t everyone deserve someone to make them happy? That’s what I always thought.’’
The two looked at each other and locked eyes again, this time, for only a few seconds.
‘’Oh Robin,’’ Megan groaned, ‘’Why are you so good to me?’’
‘’Trust me,’’ he said, moving just a little closer so he could whisper in her ear. ‘’It’s only half of what you deserve.’’ He smiled flirtatiously at her.
She wasn’t buying it. ‘’Please. If you talk to him, he’d say it’s more than I deserve.’’
‘’And you know what I say?’’ said Robin proudly. He spoke out loud to her for the first time in their whole conversation. ‘’I say you’re more than he deserves. That’s what I say. You’re so smart, and funny, and beautiful, and-‘’ he started to put his hand under her chin, but Megan stopped him.
‘’Robin, don’t,’’ she softly protested. Inside, she knew that what she was saying was true, but the outside, the outside was another story completely.
‘’But you are,’’ Robin whined. ‘’ You really are.’’ He pulled out a tissue from his pocket an wiped the remainder of the tears off of her face. Megan gladly took the tissue from Robin, finding his, well, chivalry amusing.
‘’What is this, your token? So now, you’re flirting with me?’’
‘’Well,’’ said Robin shyly. ‘’Only if….you want me to be.’’
They both let go of the tissues, and replaced their arms on each other. Megan placed her hands just below Robin’s head, and he folded his arms across her waist. They both chased the stars in each other’s eyes, coming closer and closer to each other by the second. Robin’s heart grew with anticipation; was he really about to have his first kiss? The mere thought made his heart soar. Now, not even a half of an inch away from her, Robin went to claim her lips when….she turned her head.
‘’I’m sorry. I can’t. I just can’t. I—have to go, I’m sorry.;; And with that, she ran into her house without so much as a goodbye from her. Robin watched her go in fear, in anxiety, in bewilderment, in disappointment. The warmth that he had just felt in his arms and heart left him, and he felt cold again almost immediately.
He sighed quietly as he turned and watched for her light to come on. Robin and Megan had a system whenever he would take her home. When she was safely in the house, and the coast was clear for the night, she would turn her on her lamp in her bedroom upstairs. If she didn’t, then that was her sign that she needed help. Robin felt that surging feel at the pit of his stomach, and he fought it with all of his might. She had only not turned on the light once, and that was well, a long time ago.
Comfort reached his stomach as he saw the light come on though; like an old friend back from a long vacation. He heaved a sigh of relief and gratitude as he adjusted his coat, and made his way back to his car. First though, he stole on last glance at Megan as she stared down at him with that same flirtatious look she always had on her face.
He smiled. ‘’Now there’s the Megan I know,’’ and with that, he got back into the car without another thought surfacing on the safety of his precious friend. Quickly, he put the key into the ignition, stopping only when he noticed how bright the stars were tonight. They seemed to be.. just a little bit brighter. ‘But all the stars are so old,’ he thought. ‘Is that even possible?’ He stopped for just a second more as he adored the beauty of the night sky, running a hand over his face.
‘’I tell you star, I could sure use that wish right about now…..’’