Old Friends Who've Just Met

[theprawncracker]

*blink* Um, here's some muffins for you all from Ryanie.

And uh, turns out I won't have my little surprise up for you all today. Had someone over at the house last night working on getting internet on my computer and he ended up being here a lot longer than expected so I didn't get finished. So look for it tomorrow!

And Kate, I'll talk to you about Ed later.

 

[TogetherAgain]

MUFFINS!

...No, I'm not on MC at school, of course not... <shifty eyes>

 

[The Count]

It's OK that you're not on MC from school Lisa... After all, we do it all the time. Not being on MC from school that is.
Uh, so yeah... *Brings in apple juice and orange juice for all.

 

[redBoobergurl]

It's OK that you're not on MC from school Lisa... After all, we do it all the time. Not being on MC from school that is.
Uh, so yeah... *Brings in apple juice and orange juice for all.

Or from work...yeah, not me....never.....

Um, muffin anyone?

 

[The Count]

No thanks Beth... Gotta be jetting off. And Prawny, post when ready!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

*is happy to see that she is not forgotten by Ryan* Thanks man. Yeah, aren't they always? We had a guy over last week for the cable, and one thing lead to another, and he ended up staying for about two and a half hours. Then he forgot his tools when he left, so he had to come all the way back!
*eek* Anyway, can I have a bluebury muffin? Thanks.

 

[muppetwriter]

I read the final chapter of the story, and all I have to say is congratulations on one marvelous tale, PC. I can't wait to see what you have in store for your next story.

 

[theprawncracker]

HELLO EVERYBODY!!!!!!

Gonzo: Hi.

Very nice Gonzo.

Gonzo: Thanks.

Anyway, Gonzo and I are here to provide commentary for my story here. So, uh, in the next post it shall begin!

Gonzo: BRACE YOURSELVES!! Ha ha!

 

[theprawncracker]

Prologue

Seven years have passed since The Great Gonzo met his real family at CapeDoom. He has not seen them since that fateful day that changed his life forever.

Gonzo: Seven years? Sheesh, it doesn't seem like that long ago.

But now, somewhere in the outermost reaches of space, a scream is heard, an alien is murdered by an arch-nemesis and a plan is made.

Gonzo: Who was murdered?

Me: *shifty eyes* Christy...Remember that stuff we hoped the readers didn't catch...

And now, Gonzo’s family needs his help. For he is the one. The one who can save an entire alien race, his family from destruction.

Gonzo: Ooh, very suspensful. Nice.

But Gonzo already has a lifestyle on Earth. Routinely he performs life threatening stunts on The Muppet Show, and normally, being propelled into space to do battle with dangerous weapons would be like heaven to the blue weirdo. But when he gives up his unique art form forever, will he still be willing to save his family?

Me: VERY unique art form...

Gonzo: AND very life threatening, ha ha ha!

And what of the other Muppets? What of Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy? Can they survive without Gonzo when ex-members of C.O.V.N.E.T. return to find evidence of aliens and don’t care who they hurt in the process?

Gonzo: What every happened to Butch and Clyde?

Me: Oh they're still around.

Gonzo: Will they reappear in later stories?

Me: *shifty eyes*

All of these questions and more will be answered in this tale, the blue weirdo will discover secrets about himself that he never knew, and everyone will learn of the importance of family, close to your soul, and so far away. The Great Gonzo will be going back there today.

Gonzo: Ooh, I like it, I like it. Can we go now?

Me: No, that was just the prologue!

Gonzo: So it's not over?

Me: Not by a long shot.


Chapter 1

The guns from the immense space ships fired in all directions as the laser beams lit the vast endless sky.

“All power to the port thrusters!” a captain yelled to his crew.

“Starboard flank hit captain!”

“Power falling rapidly!”

Gonzo: Uh, what is going on?

Me: The fan-fic's going on, pay attention Gonzo!

Screams of terror followed from all aboard the vessel. The captain stared silently at the massive fleet of shuttles wiping out his team, his friends, and his family.

“What are we to do?” his anxious wife said as she rushed to him carrying a small wrapped blanket.

Gonzo: Cute lookin' blanket.

Me: Good grief.

“Take the last escape pod,” he told her as his abnormally long curved nose gently rubbed against hers. “Take my son, get him a better life than this, away from war.”

Me: Awww.

Gonzo: Who is that guy?

“You must come with us,” she said.

“I cannot,” he turned to the window, watching the destruction again. “A captain must always go down with his ship.”

Gonzo: Ryan, who are those people?

Me: Never you mind Gonzo.

Gonzo: Never I mind what?

Me: Never mind.

“Then I will stay with you,” she said. “And go down with my husband.”

He wouldn’t argue with her, he knew he couldn’t win. He never could. “At least send our son, let him live.”

Gonzo: Seriously, who is that adorable little blanket?

She nodded her head once and darted off to the escape pod hatch. There was one pod left sitting in the hatch, the others had been taken or destroyed in the carnage. The ship shook from a blast making contact. She pressed a series of numbers to open the pod door. She placed the bundle inside and pulled back the sheet. A small blue head with an abnormally long light blue nose poked out of the sheet. The furry blue creature extended it’s small blue arms up towards his mother.

“Be well, be safe, take good care of yourself my son,” she said quietly. “My Gonzo.”

Gonzo: What the-

She pressed another series of numbers to close the pod and sending it rocket from the hatch. She closed her eyes, and deep down she believed she heard a faint Whoopie! coming from the pod blasting away.

Gonzo: What are you trying to do here? Alter my life? I need to retain journalistic integrity!

Me: You're not a journalist.

Gonzo: No, but I played one in a movie!

Me: You were a photographer!

Gonzo: *mutters* Dang obsessed Muppet fans...

​

* * * * * * * * *​

“Gonzo? Hey Gonzo buddy wake up,” Rizzo the Rat said shaking his best friend as he slept with his feet propped up on a seat in front of him in the Muppet Theater. “C’mon man, it’s almost time for your act!”

“No mom let me stay during the attack!” Gonzo said jolting up from his sleep. “Rizzo? I had that dream again Rizzo!”

Gonzo: Never mention dreams around Rizzo, he thinks he's a psychiatrist...

Me: Not that you don't need one...

“Aw no,” Rizzo sighed. “Noah?” Gonzo shook his head. “Goat and the dwarf and the peanut butter?” Gonzo shook his head again. “Uh...Oh, the one with the Doritos, the desk lamp and the red Ferrari?”

Me: I came up with that last one by random things sitting in my room...

Gonzo: That's how I develop most of my acts.

Me: That explains a lot.

“No Rizzo, the one about my parents!” Gonzo explained.

“Oh, right, right,” Rizzo said. “Which one is that again?”

Gonzo sighed, Rizzo never completely understood, no one did. “Never mind Rizzo, what were you saying about my act?”

“Oh nothin’, you’re just comin’ up after Piggy practices her solo number.”

Gonzo: She had to do a solo...No one would perform with her...

Up on the stage Miss Piggy lay on a shiny black grand piano in a seductive red dress. Rowlf the Dog sat at the front of the piano and began to let the music flow from his paws to the keys as Miss Piggy began to sing.

Me: Never use the word seductive and Miss Piggy in the same sentence. It never ends well.

Gonzo: Especcially for Kermit.

“Where have all the good men gone?
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules,
To fight the rising odds,” she sang seductively.

Gonzo: There's that word again...

Me: The?

Gonzo: *headsmack*

“Isn’t there a white night,
Upon a fiery steed?
Late at night, I toss and I turn,
And I dream of what I need,” Piggy held the note.

“HIT IT!” Piggy shouted, and the curtains drew back revealing Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem set up with their instruments as smoke filled the stage. Piggy jumped off the piano and began to dance. The Mayhem began to play, loudly of course.

Gonzo: What is she hitting? Kermit isn't here...

“I need a hero!
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night.
And he’s gotta be strong,
And he’s gotta be fast,
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight!

“I need a hero!
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life,
Larger than life.”

At this point Scooter walked up behind Piggy clouded in smoke and hooked a rope to her dress. “Let the pig fly! Let the pig fly!” Scooter whispered into his earpiece.

“Oh no, dat’s my cue!” Rizzo said, back in the seats. The rat began to run backstage.

Gonzo: Rizzo never makes his cue...

Me: And Frank Oz is a big cue ball! Wocka wocka!

Gonzo: Who?

Gonzo watched as Miss Piggy continued singing with her arms extended as if waiting to take off.

“Somewhere after midnight,
In my wildest fantasy,
Somewhere just beyond my reach,
There’s someone reaching back for me!” Piggy sang, and began glaring backstage.

“Racing on the THUNDER,” she growled.
“And rising with the heat
It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet,” she scowled off stage again. “SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET YOU STUPID RAT!”

Gonzo: That is not an easy thing to do...

Rizzo flipped a switch backstage sending Piggy flying through the air as a machine lifted the rope (they couldn’t have a repeat of the Christmas special of ‘02).

Me: Oh, I guess I should be pointing out all the references, no? Well, there is of course a reference to It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie.

Gonzo: Hmm, I wonder what happened to Amy the Dancing Brick...

Me: Haven't you heard? She became a big star in Hollywood, Bombai.

Gonzo: Bricks get all the luck...

“Cool,” Gonzo said quietly to himself.

“I need a her-oh!” Piggy sang as she spun around above the stage.
“I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the niii-ght!
GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!! MOI AM NO MARIONETTE!!”

Me: REFERENCE!! A biggun to THE LINE in Lisa's Swamp Call.

Gonzo: You referenced a telephone call?

Me: Would you put it past me?

Gonzo: Nope.

Gonzo sighed, “And that’ll be my cue.” He hopped out of his seat and began walking up to the stage himself.

“Rizzo let her down!” Scooter said into the earpiece.

“I can’t!” Rizzo said tugging at a switch. “The switch is stuck!”

“Well then hock the ham!” Scooter said.

Me: I really like that line...

“You sure?”

“Do it!”

Rizzo began gnawing the rope the rope holding Piggy aloft.

“What the he-“ she began to say before she plummeted to the ground when the rope was cut. She crashed to the stage floor.

Me: Oh snap, Piggy almost said a bad word...

Gonzo: What is this Sesame Street?

Clifford finally stood up from his front row seat. “Good thing we had those floors reinforced two fold last summer.”

Me: REFERENCE!! To Lisa's Summer in the Theater.

Gonzo: I thought she spent her summer in Israel...

Piggy sat up on the stage with her long blonde hair matted and tangled. “You’re gonna wish you had a reinforced face when I’m through with you!” she yelled at Clifford.

Me: That's one of my favorite lines too...

“Alright that’s the round back to your corners,” Rowlf said standing up from his piano. He lifted up a clipboard and made a check mark. “Good job Piggy, we’ll fix the rope and you’ll be ready for the show tomorrow night.”

Me: REFERENCE!! To MWoO!!

“Or as ready as a porker like dat could be, hokay?” Pepe the King Prawn whispered to Floyd Pepper backstage.

“Watch yourself dude,” Floyd said. “Shrimp don’t go good with pork chops!” Floyd laughed.

Me: I LOVED that one...

Gonzo: Is there a part of this you don't love? Cause if so, maybe you could just point those out...

Clifford glanced a look at his checklist. “Yo Gonzo! You ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Gonzo called as he prepared to go on stage wearing his yellow jumpsuit and red cape, his classic stunt uniform.

Gonzo: Define classic.

Me: The Muppets.

Gonzo: Never mind...

“You sure you wanna do this bud?” Rizzo asked him as he walked by.

“Come on Rizzo,” Gonzo said. “I’ve survived being shot out of an interstellar space cannon 400 feet in the air,” he said remembering his first, and still only, encounter with his family from space. “That makes being shot out of a regular cannon through thin sheet of ice and into a vat of lime green Jell-O look like eating a peanut butter and pickle sandwich!”

Gonzo: May I?

Me: Go right ahead.

Gonzo: REFERENCE!! To Muppets From Space!

Rizzo grimaced, “It’s a pity Kermit ain’t here to see it,” he shook his head and handed Gonzo a helmet. “Here ya go man, good luck.”

“Thanks Rizzo,” Gonzo smiled as he put on the helmet.

The weirdo walked out on stage where Sweetums was carefully positioning a vat of lime Jello to the right of an inch thick sheet of ice slowly melting under the stage lights.

Better get started before the ice melts, Gonzo thought to himself. He climbed into the long black cannon and stuck his helmeted head out the front. “Light me!” he shouted.

Gonzo: That is SUCH a cool stunt...

Me: *gulp* Uh...

Beauregard the janitor took a match to the wick at the end of the cannon and it slowly began to disintegrate under the flame.

Sweetums started to run to the left to get off the stage before the stunt began.

Gonzo: I mean, it's just SO cleverly designed. Very nice.

Me: Well I...

Gonzo was ready, he’d done more challenging stunts before. But still, deep inside he felt something, something wrong. I wish Kermit was here...

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

Something happened. Something no one could predict or prevent. Something that would change the life of one blue alien weirdo forever.

Gonzo: What-

Sweetums slipped. The water from the melted sheet of ice on the stage sent the monster sliding down the stage. He knocked the cannon slightly, throwing it off course.

The wick dissolved fully. The cannon shot.

And in a flash, the Great Gonzo was unconscious, beaten and broken on the other side of what used to be a brick wall.

Gonzo: *faints*

Me: Oh great, so much for doing Chapter 2...

 

[christyb]

First off, I just finished. Secondly, I love the commentary idea that seems to have sprung up. I'm a dork who loves them on DVDs...yeah it does drive everyone insane. Anyways, about the jacuzzi..... I loved that. The last chapter was awesome. Oh yeah, and we both know all too well about those holes you hope no one ever finds *falls in a hole* *echoing up* Why does this not surprise me?