Muppet Group Therapy Session

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Jim: It's not fair! You're being Mr. Popular here, when I was the one who started the whole Muppet thing!
Richard: Well, boo hoo, can I help it if my characters have a certain animal magnetism?
Jim: Certain animal...don't make me laugh. Kermit, here, I'll give you five hundred and a new show if you rig up that paint bucket over Scooter's head.
Richard: You do, and I'm telling them what really happened with you when we had Nancy Walker on the show!
Jim: You wouldn't dare!
Richard: Your face, Henson, your face!
Kermit and Scooter: Are you two fighting up there?
Jim and Richard: No.
Kermit: (shakes his head) They're worse than we are sometimes.
Scooter: I know, isn't it terrible?

Jim: (takes deep breath) That was fun.
Richard: Yeah, we ought to have these arguments more often. Is next Tuesday all right?
Jim: Oh...no, I've got a meeting with Jerry Juhl that day. Friday's better.
Richard: Fine then, Friday it is.

 

[puppetise]

kermit have 2000 bucks un stitch scooter for me

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Scooter: That's low!
(door to office opens; Jim and Richard saunter in, in haloes, robes and wings)

Scooter: What are you guys doing here?
Jim: Thought we'd come down and get a better view of the action.
Kermit: I hope they give you hard hats up in heaven.
Richard: (sits down next to Scooter, and M.N. and R.L. and MBM) What, you're acting like we're not used to chaos or something...Renee, you got any cocoa left? I could use a caffeine hit right about now.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

RL: Sure! *Brings up some more hot cocoa.* It's double chocolate. *Hugs Scooter tightly* That's more then low, that's just plain out nuts. Unstitching him...*shakes head as she hands Richard the cup of cocoa*

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(slurps up more cocoa) That's good chocolate.

Yeah, I think unstitching a Muppet was outlawed at the Geneva Convention several years ago.

 

[MeepBorkMeep]

MBM: *Sulks* Never brought me any hot chocolate.
Scooter: She brought ME hot chocolate.
Richard: Me too.
MBM: But you're dead, you can snap and get gallons of hot choclate.
Richard: ...True...well then I think I'll have some now. *Snaps and cup refills. Sips and sighs contently, gloating to MBM*

Meanwhile Kermit is crouched under Scooter chair, carefully ripping the stitches from his left ankle.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

RL: I DID bring you hot cocoa, MBM. *scowls lightly, then sees slim green fingers working away at what looks like Scooter's pants.* HEY! *Pulls out Kermit, who in the pulling, literally ripped out the stitching in Scooter's left leg completely.*

Kermit: *Makes little croaking noises while being throttled by RL.*

RL: You sneaky little toad! You've gotten exhaltation for years! Let the gofer have some time in the spotlight for once!! *Pulls out her ever present mini flame torch.* Do you want to be a walking, talking, breathing ball of fire!

Richard: *laughing softly* That's Juniors song isn't it?

RL: Only to quote the best, of course. *Makes a sweet nod towards Richard, then brandishes the flame torch to Kermit* WELL?!?

Kermit: AHHH!! *Backs away from it, and wriggles free from RL's grip. Then goes running full tilt away from her.*

RL: Ah-ah-ah...the toad won't get away that easy. *Looks towards Jim quickly* Forgive me Jim. *Looks back towards Kermit* I'm gonna make you into a PLUSH FROGBURGER!!! *laughs manically, running towards Kermit with the flame torch in her hands.*

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

M.N.: (running forward wearing flame-retardant gloves) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Renee, knock it back with the butane bully! (grabs torch and glares at Kermit) Kermit, apologize to Scooter.
Scooter: You trying to murder me, Kermit?!
Kermit: They've been lavishing sweet nothings on you for the last page or so!
Jim: He's right, you know. They've spoiled you, Scooter.
Richard: They have not. (gapes at Kermit) Kermit, how could you? Taking a seam-ripper to your own gofer!
Jim: Yeah, sure, you always side with your own characters.
Richard: The kid's as good as my own son! And he's been out of the spotlight for so long! It's high time Scooter got a little attention!
M.N.: (pulling off gloves) I'm with you on that, Hunt. Now then, let's do something about that seam, Scooter...where the deuce did I put that needle and thread...

(Mr. Adler walks in and surveys chaos.)

Mr. A: What a coincidence. Mr. Henson, Mr. Hunt, you two happen to be on my list of victims...er, patients for today.
M.N.: How can you have ghosts for patients?
Mr. A: Happens all the time after I send them my bill.
(there is a collective gulp from Muppets, Muppeteers and forum members alike)

 

[ReneeLouvier]

RL: Man, this is the most we've muffined a thread. *throws the flame torch away, it hits a couch and instantly turns to ash.* Hehe...oops.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Yeah, I think we've set a new record or something. This fanfic is approximately 50% muffin at least. It's a tasty muffin, true, but a muffin nonetheless.

Er...someone mind getting the fire extinguisher?