All right. Here's Scooter's analysis. Sorry it took longer than I thought.
It doesn't have much to do with Scooter, or any actual Muppet event...but I thought it was decent enough.
CHAPTER THREE
“I suppose it all started when Kermit sabotaged the annual company picnic,” Scooter began.
“Oh, come on, don’t bring that up again,” Kermit whined, rubbing his head with his flipper.
“Maybe I wouldn’t have to bring it up if you would just apologize for agreeing to let me run it, and then messing it all up for me,” Scooter said discreetly.
“I did NO such thing,” Kermit yelled, and all the Muppets groaned.
“Oh, come now, Kermit, you failed to bring the company to Santa Anna. What happened, Kermit, why did you take them to Los Angeles, leaving me alone in Santa Anna?” Scooter challenged, arching an eyebrow, and switching his clipboard from his left hand to his right.
Kermit was silent for a moment, replaying all of the previous arguments on the subject. “….I forgot where we were having it,” Kermit murmured.
“What?”
“I forgot.”
“You forgot?!”
“Yeah, we go to so d*** many places, I FORGOT!!!!” Kermit shrieked, waving his arms in surrender.
“Ah, I see,” Scooter said, smirking. Kermit had held Scooter’s bad memory over his head for years, and now he had the power.
“But why didn’t you take us back to Santa Anna, Kermy?” Miss Piggy asked, thinking she was helping him out.
Kermit glared at her. “…Traffic,” he said simply.
“Phht. Traffic?” Scooter scoffed.
“Drop the attitude, four eyes. It was 8:00 in the morning! Everyone leaves the house at the SAME D*** TIME,” Kermit explained.
Scooter began to growl. Kermit began to growl as well.
“Hey, hey, HEY,” Fozzie said, and got up. He stood between them. “Kermit, I thought I told you to take him out for an apology trip,” he hissed to Kermit.
“I did. Before we came,” Kermit whimpered.
“So…did you have a good day?” Fozzie asked, hopefully looking between them.
“Yes we had a GREAT day!” Kermit said cheerfully.
“No we did not,” Scooter said in monotone.
“Yes,” Kermit whispered.
“No.”
“Yes!”
“No! We did not HAVE a good DAY.”
“Yes we HAD a good day,” Kermit hissed, glaring at him. “A great frickin DAY,” he added, looking over at Fozzie and smiling innocently.
“You were supposed to have taken him to the spa,” Fozzie whispered.
“I took him to the SPA!” Kermit insited.
“He put me in the vegetable steamer,” sang Scooter.
Fozzie frowned at Kermit.
“It’s the same thing!” claimed Kermit.
“It’s not the same THING,” Fozzie said, in utter disbelief.
“It is too, it gets HOT, and then it gets STEAMY, and then it goes DING!” Kermit screeched, with a loud dinging noise to accent his point at the end.
Scooter gave Fozzie a look that clearly said “Are you gonna believe this?”
Fozzie glowered at Kermit, but didn’t say anything. He merely sat back down.
“It is!” insisted Kermit, turning to Fozzie. While he was turned, Scooter shoved him. Kermit turned, and shoved him back. It turned into a brutal fist-fight.
Scooter stood over Kermit for a moment. “Do a little tap dance, we’ve got FROG SALSA, ladies and gentlemen,” he announced.
“That’s terrible,” Kermit groaned.
“Not with the right kinda chips it’s not.”
It became a brutal fist fight once again, until they each had each other by the throat. They growled louder and louder until they both began to sob.
“I’m sorry, Kermit!” Scooter cried.
“I’m sorry, Scooter!” Kermit whimpered.
They hugged, and sat back down.
Mr. Adler put his feet up on the desk, surprisingly cheerfully. He was beginning to think his work was being done for him. “Hmm, who shall I “analyze next”?” he thought aloud, looking over the Muppets.
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