Muppet Group Therapy Session

[puppetise]

no worrys you can go really deep into fozzies emotions for me that would be nice

 

[ReneeLouvier]

RL: *just about melts, a bright smile on her face.* Wow....thanks...*settles her head on Scooter's shoulder* I love all of you guys. Even you Kermit. *gives Kermit a tight hug*

Kermit: Aw...thanks.

 

[puppetise]

puts on mostache hehe no point

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

I'd like to see the Swedish Chef get analyzed at some point. Lord knows, we've analyzed the heck out of Kermit and Scooter...and Jim and Richard, to some extent.

(RL: I hope that little heart-to-heart between you and Richard was all right? I imagine that's what you were melting about earlier.)

 

[MeepBorkMeep]

Yeah. I was thinking of giving the Swedish Chef a bit of an Identity Crisis because he felt like two people (i.e. Jim and Frank). And I'll be sure to get to Fozzie.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Swedish Chef and an identity crisis...I like it, and...hey, I wonder what kind of skeletons Sam the Eagle has in his closet? The way he goes around pontificating in an oh-so-sanctimonious manner, he's GOT to have something worth probing. Something that happened while he was a chick in the nest...

Your call, though. You analyze which Muppets you want, and we'll provide appropriate running commentary. (A group of the assembled Muppets and Muppeteers get up and start jogging the perimeter of the office.) Okay, bad pun.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

(The melting heart-to-heart was wonderful...ooh man, what I would give to truly be able to give Richard a tight hug in real life. [nothing romantic of course] To just run my hands through his tightly curled gray hair, give him a tight hug, and a peck on the cheek...and to say "thank you"...what I would give...)

 

[MeepBorkMeep]

Here's the Swedish Chef. Let me know if you have trouble understanding his dialect.

“How bout you, Chef,” Mr. Adler said, putting his feet up on the desk again, and leaning back. “This should be easy,” he added, under his breath.

“Okey. Bork bork bork! I gooess it ell sterted seence-a my deboot oon zee Mooppet Shoo. I'fe elveys beeen a leettle soospeeciuoos thet sumetheeng ves oodd, yuoo knoo? Yuoo ifer get thet feeleeng? My persuneleety keend ooff chunges et rundum, und my hunds seem tu hefe a meend ooff zeeur oovn”, the Swedish Chef said, with a suspicious glance at his hands.

The Muppets all turned to look at Mr. Adler for his input. He looked up. Frankly, he hadn’t been listening.

“Erm…that’s nice,” he said, and returned to analyzing his fingernails. “How does that make you feel?”

“Soospeeciouoos,” the Chef answered.

“Uh huh….and why is that?”

“…My hunds seem tu hefe-a a meend ooff zeeur oovn,” the Chef said, arching an eyebrow at him.

“Um…perhaps it’s because…” Mr. Adler said, searching his brain for a passable explanation.

“You ever think maybe it’s because you’re a frickin puppet?” Miss Piggy snorted.

The Muppets all turned to her, wide eyed, with a loud gasp. Mr. Adler jumped in surprise.

“We shall NEVER talk of whom we do not speak,” Scooter said, pointing a finger strictly at her.

“Well I’m sorry, SOMEONE had to mention it,” Miss Piggy muttered. “It’s not like you never look down and see the bearded men,” she said, with a glance downward. Scooter began to tremble. All at once the Muppets looked down.

“ARARARRGH!” they shrieked and instantly looked up at the ceiling.

“What was THAT?!” Gonzo yelped.

“Holy moses!” Kermit shrieked.

“I think I’m gonna be siiiick,” Fozzie whined.

The Swedish Chef looked down to see what the big fuss was all about. “Ooh. Noow I get it,” he said, nodding. “Hey zeere-a,” he added with a wave to the two puppeteers. “Ookey. Thunk yuu,” he said.

The clearly scarred Muppets all turned to Mr. Adler to see who would be next.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Frank Oz: What do you mean, the bearded men? I've only got a mustache!
Richard: Yeah, and I've got no facial hair at all...hey, Frank, where'd you come from?
Frank: (emerges from below floor with Dave Goelz and Jerry Nelson) I suppose I ought to ask the same of you and Jim. You two are supposed to be dead. Anyway, Dave, Jerry and I want a piece of the action, is that so wrong?
Jim: Suit yourself...but it's getting a tad crowded in here. Richard, scoot over.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(The melting heart-to-heart was wonderful...ooh man, what I would give to truly be able to give Richard a tight hug in real life. [nothing romantic of course] To just run my hands through his tightly curled gray hair, give him a tight hug, and a peck on the cheek...and to say "thank you"...what I would give...)

M.N: (puts newly bought strings on her guitar as she talks) Let me put this as delicately as I can, but in a light-hearted manner. On the subject of Scooter...am I therefore right in saying that you have a bit of a crush on the Muppeteer as well as the Muppet? (puts last string on and starts to play 'Somebody to Love.') And by crush, I meant a mild, puppy-love sort of crush. Nothing with a lot of emotional overtones.

(Richard leans back and smiles contentedly, Scooter gets a little red in the face, and Jim and Kermit roll their eyes in unison.)

Can't wait to see who's next, MBM. And Jim, Kermit, quit looking so sarcastic.