Muppet Fan-Fic: Don't Trip the Driver

TogetherAgain

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...<manages to close mouth, which has been hanging open for a few minutes, ever since reading those last few lines> ...And THAT'S how you leave me to do HOMEWORK?????

Oy gevolt, oy vey... Prawnie, Prawnie, Prawnie...


MORE PLEASE!
 

theprawncracker

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Chapter 38

"Clifford! What happened to the lights!"

"They turned back on!"

"Well, what did you press?"

"Nothin’!"

"Then why did the lights go on?"

Silence lingered.

"Harry?"

"He he he! Don’t look at me!"

Clifford looked down on the stage. "Well, what then?"

"You tell me," Skeeter said. "You’re the co-host." She leaned against the light controls.

"Yeah well, you’re datin’ the co-host." Clifford smirked.

Skeeter twiddled with his dangling beard. "Mm, I am," she mumbled.

Crazy Harry cocked his head to the side. "Ushy gushy," he sighed.

"Yeah, babe, you are." Clifford leaned in closer to her face.

Skeeter wrapped her hand around his beard, tightly, and yanked down.

"YEOW!" Clifford yelped. "What was that for?!"

"For assuming that I’m dating you." Skeeter let go of his beard and crossed her arms.

Clifford stared at her through his sunglasses. "Ya mean... you’re not?" He caressed his chin.

"I don’t know," Skeeter said. "These are confusing times."

Clifford turned and looked at Crazy Harry, who was staring on. "Women..." Clifford whispered to Harry.

"He he he!" Crazy Harry laughed.

Clifford shook his head. "What is that guy doin’ down there?"

<X>X<X>

"Man, Dr. Teeth, I think we rocked too hard!" Floyd shouted over the loud roar that was emitting from the stage.

"Like, we have got to get the decibels checked on Animal’s speakers," Janice said.

"DOOMED! DOOMED!" Animal shouted.

Kermit sat himself up on his elbows, watching a swirling vortex ensue over Benny’s head. The Boss nonchalantly flipped through a newspaper. "...Phillies won," she muttered.

Death pounded on the force field surrounding Benny. "STOP THIS! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT SORT OF POWER YOU’RE UNLEASHING!"

"Believe me, I do!" Benny sneered. "The power to end you all!"

"STOP THIS NOW!"

"Never!"

Death jumped back and pointed a single, bony index finger directly into the air. From the atmosphere directly above Benny came a pillar of black fire, surrounding Benny’s force field.

The swirling flames completely enveloped Benny inside as countless Muppets stared on.

Pepe stood with his mouth hanging open next to Bobo and Bean. "...D’at’s hot, hokay?"

Gonzo looked up on the stage as he held a wet rag over Uncle Deadly’s forehead ("He’s one lucky phantom! Most Muppets don’t have foreheads!"). Uncle Deadly slowly lifted his own head to see the flames.

Miss Piggy wrapped a gloved hand around Kermit’s neck and pulled him close, squeezing him against her. Kermit grabbed at her arms helplessly. "Piggy," he choked out. "It’s hot enough in here as is!"

The heat didn’t last.

Even though Piggy held on to Kermit with a vice-grip, the flames were instantly blown away by a single, forceful push from Benny. "It’s not gonna be that easy, Death!" Benny declared. "I’ve avoided you for too long to lose to you now!"

Just as things looked bleak, a shining blue hero emerged from backstage. Unfortunately, that hero had a lengthy speech prepared describing the lack of morals involved in destroying a theater.

Sam’s entrance didn’t turn the heads of anyone on the stage or in the theater, all eyes were on the vortex coming out of the scythe.

"Excuse me," Sam tapped on the force field. "But it seems that you have forgotten to analyze the distinct morals involved in this situation here. It has occurred to me that there is absolutely nothing even remotely resembling a moral here in this situation! I think that it would be wise of everyone to-"

Sam was cut off. Benny pushed him away, sending the eagle flying for the first time in his life. Sam’s newfound air travel sent him colliding with a rack of clothes. When the patriotic bird stepped out he was dressed as a French man, complete with red and white striped shirt. "...This is the most degrading day of my life."

Fozzie took charge of things backstage. "Okay, okay, calm down everybody! Calm down! It’s gonna be okay! It’ll all be okay!" Fozzie soon realized he was talking to a room of completely under-control Muppets. "Oh... well this is different."

"What’s the plan son?" Mrs. Bear asked.

"Yeah, we’re ready to fight! We’re ready to hit! Lemme at ‘im! LEMME AT ‘IM!" Sal lashed forward, swinging his arms.

"Calm down, Sal," Johnny said blankly.

"Johnny Fiama wants me to calm down!"

"Does anyone have a real plan?"

"Mee mo mee mo!"

"Well, the rats are still in the kitchen."

"Rets?! In my keetchee?! Nut fur mooch lunger!"

"Oh boy..."

"Which boy? Most of us are boys."

"Which is why this place is such a pig-sty!"

"But the pig’s a girl!"

"One of them!"

"One of them what?"

"One of these things is not like the other?"

Sweetums looked around amidst the chaos for a small, dark green frog. "Has anybody seen Robin?"

>X<X>X<

Robin slowly hopped across the stage.

His uncle watched him as he moved, slowly, but surely, determination deep inside his eyes.

"Robin..." Kermit croaked softly.

Robin stood, feet firm, directly in front of Benny Vandergast. He looked up at the cackling face of the gray man, the strands of hair flying every which way. This was the most intimidating figure Robin had ever laid eyes on.

But, as Sweetums proved, intimidation wasn’t everything.

His small green finger slowly reached for the force field.
 

The Count

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And this is what you leave us to go to sleep with?!? Robbbbbiiiiiiiiinnn!
Nice little backstage moments, both with Crazy Harry at the lights and the fleeting non-chaos under Fozzie's command.
Benny's getting far too much out of control, somebody's got to stop him... But why Robin? Nooo! Not Robbiiiiiin!

Prawn! You get back here and post more! Soonerishkibbible!
 

redBoobergurl

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Ahhhhh!!!! There was like three chapters I hadn't read! But I read them now! And I loved them! But Robin....Benny....oh my!
 

The Count

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*Bummed at the thought of no updates this weekend while Prawny's away at that college basketball tournie.
Oh well... So long screwy, see you in St. Louie.
 

theprawncracker

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*smirk* Thanks Ed... :stick_out_tongue: But, no worries, look for an update either late Sunday night or sometime Monday! :big_grin:
 

The Count

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Hmmm... Late Sunday or next Monday... And just how is tat different from no updates till you get back after this weekend's ovr?
 

Java

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Hey Prawny! I have just caught up and finished reading what you have here of this wonderful story. And now the suspense is killing me! I hope you have fun this weekend though and I look forward to more of this tale when you get back.
 

Beauregard

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Prawn of Crackers, sorry it took me SOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo long to catch up. I owe you a three-chapter review...stay tuned (and/or hold your breath...please don't die)...for that. :stick_out_tongue:
 
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