Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[The Count]

*Sends an imperial order to Claudia to get an antidote to Bunsen's opposite cottage cheese spread for Cookie Monster immediately... Or face the dire consequences.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Wow, your mind-altering cheese was requested.

Bunsen:
...............
Um, could you repeat that again?
Someone......
wants something...
from us?

Beaker:
(Loses color, falling over)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Yup, for the first time...
Your job was not a waste.

Bunsen:
(Shakily hands her a slice on a plate)
Te-te-tell Mr. Cookie Monster that...
Ch-cheese is part o-o-f a nutritio-

Claudia:
I get it.
Get some rest, Bunnie.
This nightmare will go away soon.

Bunsen:
Oh, I'm sleeping?

Claudia:
Nope.

Bunsen:
(Faints)

 

[The Count]

Huh... Can someone faint if they're in an anti-gravitationally confined room? Oh well, there are better things to question.
*Goes back to generally goofing off, waiting to hear from my cyber-sister on that message sent to her earlier, if she gets the chance to respond of course... I know she's busy, what with literally going crazy a couple of hours ago...
*Chuckles.

 

[BEAR]

Ernie: Bert? Oh, Bert?
Bert: What is it, Ernie?
Ernie: Bert, I'm really worried about this whole thing with Cookie Monster. I mean, what if he never eats cookies again?
Bert: Ernie, this may be a good thing for the Cookie Monster. This could be a whole new frontier for him. Eating healthy and losing some weight. He may even live longer.
Ernie: Yeah, but if he starts eating all of our healthy foods, like he used to with the cookies, and then there won't be any left for the rest of us.
Bert: Ernie...
Ernie: (dramatically) We could lose all our fruits...
Bert: Ernie...
Ernie: (even more dramatically) We could lose all our vegetables...
Bert: Ernie...!
Ernie: (even moore dramatically) We could lose all our oatmeal!
Bert: Ern...oatmeal? Did you say oatmeal?
Ernie: That's right.
Bert: Bryyyyaaaan! You have got to put a stop to this Cookie Monster nonsense. We may never eat oatmeal again!
Bryan: Bert, we are taking care of it. Oatmeal? Bert, you really need to calm down.
Bert: But...I...
Bryan: Honestly, you're as bad as Ernie.
Bert: (lowers brow) *sigh*

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Erin: (typing at computer) Cookie Monster doesn't eat cookies anymore? Something is amiss in the universe. (pause) How are your red spots, Storyteller?
Storyteller: (from hut) Red and itchy...and Beige's tail is still really ticklish.
Beige: So much for the diagnosis of mild Pebble Pox...and that medicine they make us take is awful.

(door opens)

Scooter: Boy, for an eight-year-old, she's a really good extortionist...and I didn't know ten boxes of Coconut Swirls and Three-Nut Crunches weighed so much.
Nora: I know...she sold thirteen boxes to five of Dad's coworkers alone...want to get that box of Orange Delights before it falls?

(Scooter and Nora stumble in, carrying several boxes of Scouting Girl cookies - not to be confused with Girl Scout cookies.)

Beige: (in doorway from room) Whoa, the mother lode...(cough, choke) Headache...
Erin: Oh, is it that time of year again?
Nora: Yes. Heather, my little sister, and the rest of Scouting Girls Troop #5749 are selling cookies.
Scooter: And Nora got sweet-talked - get it? - into buying a bunch. (drops several boxes onto floor) You should see all the boxes stacked in the garage at the Brandons' place.
Erin: Toss me a box of the Mint Dreams, if you please. (catches one) Thanks.
Storyteller: It's a shame Cookie Monster is off cookies for the time being...he could really help us out with this.
Beige: (heading for pile) In the meantime...hmm, these look good.
Nora: (sorting boxes) Stay away from the Licorice Splits - those things are repulsive.
Scooter: So why'd you get them?
Nora: 'Cause Heather whined about them stacking up year after year, and the troop leader really wants to move them out.

 

[BEAR]

Bryan: (On the phone with Ed) Cottage cheese spread? What do you mean cottage cheese spread? If you say so. I'll send him down. Thanks. (hangs up) Oh, Cookie Monster!
Cookie: One more lap! (running on a tread mill in the middle of the room)
Bryan: What the...? Where did that treadmill come from?
Cookie: Me built it.
Bryan: You built it? Since when does Cookie Monster know how to build electronic machinery? Oh my God, it's getting worse. Not only is he a health nut, he's a brainiac too! I don't care if you eat all the cookies and the jars they come in! I don't care if you don't know the difference between a spoon and a shovel! I want my furry little cookie craving slow moving buddy back! You're coming with me! (grabs Cookie Monster by the scruff of the neck and drags him down to Bunsen's lab) Okay Doc. Do something!

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
(Still floating)
You'll have to pardon our dust, Bryan.
Or should I say...lack of gravity.
(Chuckles)

Claudia went over to your room.
I guess she'll realize you are not there and run back up here!

Hello, Mr. Coo-
(Sees him in a whole new light)
You've changed alot, haven't you?
This is urgent!

Beaker! Get Claudia!
She's got the last piece!
I haven't anymore, you see!

Beaker:
(Floats out of the room)
MEEEEP!

Claudia:
I AM COMING!
MY GOSH!

Bunsen:
Cookie, we insist that you take a bite of this delectable...snack.
It's very good for your health.

Here, take some.

Claudia:
(Hands Cookie the cheese)
(Whispers to Dr. Van Neuter)
If he refuses...
Sic him.

 

[BEAR]

Cookie: (sniffs it) Hmm...what is it? Cottage cheese? If you put it on a nice juice slice of apple, then perhaps I will try it.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
Why that li-

Claudia:
(Covers Neuter's mouth)
So prissy!

Bunsen:
Alright, Cookie!
(Fetches him an apple)

Claudia:
(Cuts him a slice)
(Bumps against the wall)
There. That better, Cookie?


Dr. Van Neuter:
hmph

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(in doorway to lab)

Erin: So that's what it was - good thing none of us has eaten any cottage cheese lately.
Scooter: I just wonder if it worked.
Nora: Only one way to know.

(A box of Scouting Girl Mint Dreams is set on a table in the lab, well within reach of Cookie Monster, and the three non-Pebble-Pox-infected inhabitants of room 7 quickly step out of the room.)