Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[The Count]

*Wakes Claudia and helps her back to her feet. Come on... I can hear the Muppet chorus getting things started. And that Nick guy's munching on some sugar he brought himself.

*Later... Everyone's at the ceremony, the first award being handed out with a bit of heckling from the crowd's perennial party-poopers up in the balcony.

 

[BEAR]

Big Bird: (On the phone with Snuffy) Are you sure you can't come, Snuffy? It's going to be fun.
Snuffy: No, I need to stay here and wait for my mom to call about Alice. Alice is supposed to have her first dental check up today. My mom has to work and I'm the only one who can take her. I'll be watching from home though.
Big Bird: But it's Saturday.
Snuffy: Yeah...I know.
Big Bird: What a good big brother you are! Okay, Snuff, but we'll miss you!
Snuffy: I'll miss you too, Bird! So long!
Bryan: No, Snuffy, huh?
Big Bird: No...
Bryan: Well, we'll still have fun. Abby is waiting over there with Beth! Let's go see them!
Big Bird: Yeah (lightens up a bit)
Ernie: Come on, Bert. Let's go find our seats.
Bert: I wonder who's doing the catering.
Cookie: You read me mind!

 

[Beauregard]

Bo: Is it possible that we can be here and there and there and here?
Beau: Do clocks tick or tock?
Bo: Good point! *dissapears*

 

[Winslow Leach]

Lefty wakes, on his hammock. A large bump is on his head.

Lefty: Owwww...what da...?

Tony: Have you learned your lesson?

Lefty: Huh?

Tony: That bump.

Lefty: Riiiiiight...

Tony: You tried pushing a pinata filled with rocks to someone...

Lefty: Dat's one of my specialties...da never-break pinata...guaranteed never ta break!

Tony: Well...that big dude you tried selling it to almost broke your head! I had to step in before he really pounded you! You immediately crumpled to the ground after he hit you with your pinata. You were out like a light, man! I carried you back here, and put you in your hammock.

Lefty: Tanks, kid, dat's really square of ya. Hey, would you like an unbreakable pinata? I'll sell it to ya for tree cents!

Tony: Sleep it off, Lefty. I'm going back to the ceremony...

(Tony leaves the room)

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony: Hey, Left-a-rooney, how's it going?

Lefty: Just when I taught I was gonna have some peace!

Tony: You've been in here all day. You've had more than enough peace.

Lefty: Whaddaya want? Are da awards over?

Tony: Not quite. I wanted to stop by to see how you were.

Lefty: I'm doin' good. Riiiiiiiight!

Tony: Well, I have something to cheer you up!

Lefty sits up on his hammock.

Lefty: I won an award?

Tony: Er...not exactly...

Tony produces a ukelele. He strums it, and begins to sing "Any Old Iron," at a rapid pace, about ten times faster than it's normally sung.

Ooooh, just a week or two ago, my poor old Uncle Bill,
Went and kicked the bucket, and he left me in his will.
The other day I popped around to see poor Auntie Jane,
She said, "Your Uncle Bill has left you a watch and chain."

I put it on right across my vest,
Thought I looked a dandy as it dangled on my chest,
Just to flash it off I started walking 'round about,
A lot of nippers followed me and all began to shout:

Any old iron, any old iron, any, any, any old iron?
You look neat - talk about a treat,
You look dapper from your napper to your feet.
Pressed in style, brand new tile,
And your father's old green tie on,
But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch chain,
Old iron, old iron?

Ready for the next verse? O-kay!

(the song is performed at a FASTER pace)

Shan't forget when I got married to Selina Brown,
The way people laughed at me, it made me feel a clown.
I began to wonder, when their dials began to crack,
If by mistake I'd got my Sunday trousers front to back.

I wore my chain on my darby kell,
The sun was shining on it and it made me look a swell,
The organ started playing and the bells began to ring,
My chain began to rattle, so the choir began to sing:

Ooooh, any old iron, any old iron, any, any, any old iron?
You look neat - talk about a treat,
You look dapper from your napper to your feet.
Pressed in style, brand new tile,
And your father's old green tie on,
But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch chain,
Old iron, old iron?

Okay, Lefty...now you join in!

Ooooh, any old iron, any old iron, any, any, any old iron?
You look neat--

Lefty, who has had a pillow over his head, during the above, screams, and runs out of the doorm.

Well. That'll get him back to the ceremony!

(in Snagglepuss voice)

Exit...stage left!

(leaves room)

 

[Skeeter Muppet]

Kim: Well Boober, I must say you did a terrific job as a presenter for the awards ceremony.
Boober: Thanks, but did Ed really have to bring Sidebottom into it? *shudders*
Kim: Aw, you love the guy and you know it.
Boober: In small doses.
Tosh: Kim, are you okay?
Kim: Yeah, Tosh; why do you ask?
Mimzy: Well, we thought you might be, well, sad because you didn't win anything.
Kim: I'm a bit disappointed, but we can't all win these things. Everyone who won something tonight did so because they deserved it. Plus, well...I'm just used to not winning.
Gillis: Oh, come off it.
Kim: No, really. I can count the number of times I placed when I was on Speech Team in high school on one hand.

-Kim

 

[Beauregard]

Bo: *alseep*
Beau: *dusting Z's out of the air*

 

[redBoobergurl]

Beth *enters the dorm room carrying a sleeping Abby*: Well, the awards sure were fun, but I guess she got a little tired out from all the excitement.
Mokey: I had so much fun presenting. I'm glad to see you won an award for your short Christmas story.
Beth: Me too, that was a nice surprise.
Wanda: I always did like that one
Beth: So where's Red, I thought she'd beat me back here
Mokey: I think she's still off with Gobo!
Beth: Wow! I guess they had a good time then! Anyway, who's up for some pancakes, I'm starving.
Mokey: Ooh, me!
Wanda: Me too!
Beth: All right, let's get some! *gently puts Abby into her bed*

 

[The Count]

Pffffffhew. At least that's over with . Lot of work, but lot of fun too.
Count: You didn't sound too bad on that podcast thing.
Thanks Count.
UD: So where are the girls?
They had to jet off back to their regular day jobs.
Count: At least we had a splendid time while they vere here.
Yep, even gave them their Valentine's gifts.

Oh well... Back to the grind here at the good ol' MC dorms.
*Puts up his six trophies in the display case and pins the certificates made by Claudia on the bulletin board for a while or week's time or so.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
What a thrilling experience!
I nearly had a blood clot when I discovered you...
you...OH BEAKER!
(Clings to him)

Oh, Beakie, I promise to never sacrifice you for the sake of science...

Never ever again...

Beaker:
(Eyes go wide)
Mu-mu-meeeeee?

Bunsen:
A credible promise, Beakie!
Cross my heart and never hope to decease!

Beaker:
(Hugs Bunsen tightly)
Mee mee mee meeee!
MEEE MEEE MEE!
(Enthusiastically praising him)

Bunsen:
Tch, tch, tch!
Now now, dry your eyes.
(Hands him a handkercheif)

Beaker:
(Blows into it)

Bunsen:
Another option, too.
(Clears throat)

Beaker:
(Nods)
(Hands him it)

Bunsen:
(Masks his discomfort)
Keep it.

Beaker:
Mee mee.

Bunsen:
You're very, very welcome.
(Silence fills the air)





Hop into the taffy puller, Beakie!
I'm sure we can get that one to work!
Tsstsstsst!

Beaker:
MEEE?
(Faints)