Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Erin: (painting a mock 19th century London street sign) So what's it going to be, Nora? Chamber of Secrets, Department of Mysteries or Shrieking Shack?
Nora: (in room, hanging up tattered tapestries and hangings) Shrieking Shack.
Beige: (rigging up a Telltale Heart on the inside of the hallway closet door) Good choice. Scooter, I'm going to need your help setting up the timbrel carts and the guillotine, okay?
Scooter: (in bathroom) I'll be right there - I'm working on putting together Charon's ferry and the River Styx.
Storyteller: (in hut, setting up the Terrible Tunnel) Amid all this spookiness, everyone, we need to rig up a hint of warmth in the kitchen.
Erin: Good call. Are we going to set up a diorama of Joan of Arc's last moments at Rouen?
Storyteller: (wincing) Not that kind of warmth, sunny Jane.
Nora: Someone want to pass me the duct tape?
Beige: (tossing it over) Here. (hears it hit something and crash to the floor) Oops.
Scooter: Hey, guys, are we putting the trapdoor by the sofa or in the hallway?
Erin: (putting last touches on sign) Hallway. The sofa's where we're putting the tombstones, and we'll have to get going on those next.

 

[The Count]

OK Count and Uncle Deadly... I'll be gone for my early afternoon classes. In the meantime, I'm entrusting to you a few chores... We need a good haul of candies and chocolates from Penny Candyman's for tonight's weekly frightfest movie marathon, and for creating some trick-or-treat sweets. Additionally, you'll have to go over the ghost list and set the tombstone beds for them. Maybe Erin will have some decorative tips or leftover props in the closet, please check with her and Scooter first Uncle D. The rafters need to be cleaned out for the brood of bats, not to mention that's where two of our ghosts will be staying as well. And last, but not least, you need to contact the last few dorms' residents so as to inform them of their roommates Halloween costume assignments.

Everybody got their to-doom lists? Good, now brake!
*We all head out on a busy Frightday to primp and polish and scare and spook the dorms into the haunted home sweet home for the howlidays.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Dr. Van Neuter:
1...2...
(Covers his ears)
3!

Claudia:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
AY CARAMBA!
(Flies out of the room with Beaker in her arms)

Bunsen:
I guess you could say she was blown away!
Ohohoho! I made a funny!

Alright Beakie! Let us insert useless microchips into your oddly shaped brain and test mind control!

Beaker:
(Whimpers)

Claudia:
(Crashes against the wall)

Beaker:
MEEP!

Claudia:
(Giggles madly as she is dragged inside by her roomies)

Tell me lies
And I'll come runnin'
I must have lost my mind!
I could close my eyes
And tell you just exactly what's comin'
Life's gonna turn just a little unkind!

(Claws the floor)

Seems like everyone's sailin'
Way out on the sea
And I'm stuck here on the shore
Sun's always shinin'
But it's never on me
Why should I try anymore?
(Giggles a little more loudly)

Tell me lies
Tell me lies
And I'll just keep right on comin'...

(The door closes)

---

 

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *peeks out the door* Bean, did you just hear someone screaming?
Bean: Yeah, I think it was Claudia.....
Sweetums: OH NO! Don't worry Claudia! I'll save you! *bashes into Claudia's room*
Bean: I don't think you should have done that.....
Alex: *trudges into the dorms, twigs and leaves in her hair, dirt on her face*
Elmo: Oh THERE you are! Elmo was wondering if maybe something happened to you.
Bean: It looks like something DID happen to you!
Alex: *groans* I got stuck in a tree....
Bean: In a tree?
Alex: *nods somberly* For several days.....
Bean: What were you doing in a tree?
Alex: *stumbles into the kitchen* Darn hippies.....
Elmo: Oh, Elmo knows what a hippy is! Yeah, Elmo thinks they smell funny.
Alex: *fixing herself a sandwich* You have no idea.... *eyes get big* It's a TREE. What's the big deal? There's dozens more right next to it! But nooooo! They need to save THAT tree. And somehow I got pulled into helping them....
Bean: They were just sitting in trees?
Alex: Yeah, protesting. In the trees! *rolls eyes* One of those girls hasn't come down in a year. They're crazy, that's what they are!

Sweetums: *runs in, carrying Claudia and Beaker* I GOT EM! *thrusts Beaker into Alex's arms and lays Claudia gently on the couch, stroking her hair*
Alex: Sweetums, what's going on? *checks Beaker to make sure he's allright*
Sweetums: Whoa, you look awful! *takes Claudia's shoes off* Well, Claudia was screamin, so I... you know, thought I should save her....
Alex: oh. Ok. *eats her sandwich*

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Beaker:
(Opens his eyes to see an angelic-looking Alex rather than a melon-headed phsyco, observes his blurry enviroment with some effort before obtaining normal vision. He sinks his head into his collar before hugging the heck out of his savior)

Meep! Mua!

Claudia:
(Giggles madly)
LIFE IS LIKE A WATERMELON WITH A MENTAL PROBLEM!
WATERMELONS CAN'T THINK!
WOWWWWWWWWWWW! I SOOO DID NOT KNOW THAT!
YEEHAHAHAH!

(Sees Beaker give a peck on Alex's cheek and blinks)

IIIIII HHHAAAVVEE SEEENN ITTT ALLLLLL!
IIIII STTOOOODD TALLLL!
AND DID IT MMMMYYY WAAAAYYYYYYYY!

Bunsen:
Hello friends, my assistant has gone missing and I just can't seem to pin point his current location. Yes, call me silly and even crazy but I can assure you, this does not happen often.

(Sees Alex)

Oh, you've escaped the hippies!

(Notices his roomies)

There you are!

Beaker:
(Faints)

Claudia:
Sweetums---eat Bunsen.

Bunsen:
Very funny.

 

[BEAR]

Bryan: Did you hear that?
Big Bird: It sounded like a crash!
Prairie: It's probably Gonzo doing something crazy again.
Ernie: Or Dr. Honeydew and one of his experiments.
Rosita: No, I saw it. It was Sweetums bashing through Claudia's wall.
Bert: Honestly. If this keeps up we won't have any walls left.
Cookie: (sniffing the wall)
Bryan: Don't even think about it, Fuzzy.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
(Hearing the Muppetcast)
OMG! RYAN! HAHAHAHAHA!

Bunsen:
Am I really that oblivious?
Surely this must be some sort of joke.
Not everything I do ends up in some sort of ...
(Adjusts his glasses with disdain)

disaster...

Claudia:
HAHA!
Yes, he was PERFECT!

Beaker:
(Nods)
MEE MEE! Perfectmeep!

Bunsen:
Silly Beaker!

Claudia:
(Holding Bunsen)
I think I should join that contest--but I am no good at creating characters.

Asphodel:
Is no true!

Claudia:
Oh hello!

Bunsen:
Want a cracker, sir?

Beaker:
Meep.

Asphodel:
Is no crackers for de Asphodel!
(Pecks him)

Claudia:
Stop it! Are you here for my own inspiration?

Asphodel:
I'm death--no muse!

Claudia:
Then fly out of my room.

Asphodel:
Is fine.
(Does so)

Bunsen:
Entering the contest just for fun?

Claudia:
Yeah, why not?

 

[tvlistingman]

LITTLE BIRD: How Did Ballet Practice go Zoe

ZOE: Terrific,

BABY BEAR: Good

PETER: Say, why don't we go Bowling and a Movie tonight

ZOE: Good!

BABY BEAR (sings): It's Friday Night TGIF!

 

[The Count]

Downstairs... Muppet monster music can be heard as Count and Uncle D and I get things and decorations up in order, humming all the while.
Good thing we patched our MC Radio broadcast in through the speakers...
*Hanging a few hanging nooses by the furnace elevator.
Count: Yes... Ve got the poker table set up, though the couch had to be moved back a smidge.
It still rotates fright?
Count: Yes.
Uncle D's programming tonight's movie selection, a veritable boo's boo of monster movies, with some of the Universal classics in line.
Are those tombstone grave cots set up and aligned?
UD: Yes... Count counted them all before we started lining the death sheets and cobweb covers.
OK... Make sure the pillows are fluffed too.

*The rafters are dusted clean, the skeleton is propped up in a dignified manner next to the entertainment system, and bats are swept into place along the castilated ceiling lining.

Will have to knock on Erin's door to see if she can help with some of the cooking for the party. Will probably rope Bryan in, if he can lend a hand.
*Count pops a hand into view.
It's at times like these I positively loooove that joke.

Pleasant screams and enjoy the frightfest everyone!

 

[Erine81981]

*walking around in the dorms hallways and common rooms* This is awsome Ed. You too Uncle D. *looking at all the decorations* Oh by the way Ed. Is the party tomorrow or this coming wednesday? Just wondering. *hearing "Under My Skin" play* That is one of the best songs from the Vincent Price episode.

Oscar: *pops up* Hey tubby! What's going on?

Halloween is.

Oscar: Oh that holiday about ghost and goblins. Looks grouchy in here. *yells* Your doing a grouchy job! Keep it up. So what are you going to be for Halloween?

Just my regular "Man riding an Ostrich" costume.

Oscar: Oh come on. Be something....more....trashy.

Not going to happen. I know how about be cleanness.

Oscar: Are you out of your mind! I'm a grouch. Not going to happen.

Same here. *sits down on a stair step* I just love it around here. *music starts*

Oscar: Not a song! *groans*

Anything Monster: On my Way (12x)

Me: I would like to reach out my hands
I may see you, I may tell you to run

You know what they say about the young.

Well, pick me up with golden hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run
You know what they say about the young

Me and a Little Bat: I would like to hold my little hand
How we will run we will, how we will crawl we will
I would like to hold my little hand

Me: How we will run we will, how we will crawl
Send me on my way (6x)

Anything Monster: On my way (7x)

Me: Mm hmm

(muisc interlude)

Me: I would like to reach out my hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run
You know what they say about the young

Little Bat: Well, pick me up with golden hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run
You know what they say about the young

Me and The Bat: I would like to hold my little hand

Me: How we will run away, we will crawl away

Me and The Bat: I would like to hold my little hand

Me: How we will run away, how we will crawl

Send me on my way (6x)

Monster: On my way (7x)

Mm hmm

Me and The Bat: I would like to hold my little hand

Me: How we will run away
How we will crawl

Me and The Bat: I would like to hold my little hand

Me: How we will run away
How we will crawl

Me and The Bat: Send me on my way (5x)

Me, The Bat and The Monster: I would like to reach out my hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run (Monster: On My Way (3x)
You know what they say about the young

*Music stops*

Oscar: That was sick!

I know you liked it. *rub's Oscar's fur*

Oscar: Hey! Don't do that! We grouches hate to be rubbed. *shakes his head and walks away*