Facing the Music, Part 2
Catherine, Kermit and Fozzie knock on the door 30. Piggy sulks in the background. There is the sound of piano-playing inside the room, and Kermit smiles and looks at Fozzie and Piggy hopefully.
Kermit: Sound familiar?
Piggy: Big deal! So Rowlf is visiting.
Kermit: But Piggy—that isn’t Rowlf. See the fourth roommate in Room 30 is my old friend—
Don Music: (opening door) Don Music at your service. To what do we owe the pleasure of your—Kermit! Kermit the frog, as I live and breathe! Come in, come in! And who are these folks?
Kermit: Hi, Don! Nice to have you here at the dorms. This is Fozzie Bear—he’s a comedian. And a bear. And this is Catherine. She’s a human, like you. You even have the same hairdo! And this is Piggy, my—
(Reluctantly, Piggy turns around enough to see Kermit’s friend, planning on grandstanding, but when she sees Don for the first time, she is mesmerized by his wild hair and artistic appearance.)
Piggy: (surging forward and cutting Kermit off in mid-introduction) Why, hellooo there, um, Mr., um, Music. Moi is happy to meet vous. (She proffers a satin-gloved hand, which Don has no choice but to take.) Any friend of, um, (she blanks momentarily)—
Kermit: (dryly) Kermit.
Piggy: Yes, Kermit’s, is a friend of moi’s.
Don: Well, I must say it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss…Miss…?”
Piggy: Miss Piggy. Was that vous playing the piano just a moment ago?
Don: Why yes. You see, I’m a songwriter.
Piggy: How tres interesting! Moi is a singer!
Don: You don’t say!
Kermit: (muttering) She did say.
Sal wanders to the door, waves at everyone because his has a cannoli in his mouth, then turns and hollers, “It’s Kermit and his roomies, Johnny. No need to get up!” He goes to the bathroom and bangs on the door. “Randall! Hey Randall! We got company!”
Don: (suavely) I suppose you’re familiar with my songs. (He strikes a pose.)
Fozzie: Gee, Mr. Music--what songs have you written?
Don: (dramatically) Oh! I told those publishers that it had been too long since one of my songs was on the charts—
Kermit: Um, Don? I think Fozzie was just asking for the names of some of your songs—you know, like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star!
Piggy: (enthralled) You—you wrote that? How clever of vous!
(Kermit is beginning to be put off by Piggy’s fascination with Don. She is looking him over with obvious approval, and seems especially admiring of his wild mane of hair. He does not seem to mind, and is looking admiringly at Piggy as well.)
Kermit: Well, he didn’t actually—
Don: And The Alphabet Song—that’s one of my all-time greatest hits.
Piggy: (squealing with delight) Oooh! I didn’t know that was you! Why, Moi has been singing that song since she was a little girl!
Kermit: (attempting to interpose himself between these two admirers) Well, isn’t this nice. Maybe we can all go down and wish the Swedish Chef a happy birthday. Together. All of us.
(Piggy and Don continue to stare at each other.)
Kermit: (to Catherine) A little help here, please?
(Catherine comes over and helps steer a suddenly clumsy Piggy out the door. She is closely followed by Don Music, who is making music-related small talk with her. Fozzie and Kermit follow, with Kermit feeling a decided cooling in his fondness for his old friend from the Street.)
Catherine: (calling back through the open door) Hey Sal! You and Johnny coming to the Chef’s birthday party?
Fozzie: Gosh, I hope there’s cake.
(Sal looks at Johnny. Johnny looks at Sal. They shrug, then get up and follow. When the room is finally empty, the door to the bathroom finally opens and Randall steps out.
Randall: Hi…guys. (He looks around the empty room.) Hey?! Where’d everybody go?
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