(It is early morning and things are grumpy in Room 20. Catherine is herding her roomies around like a drill sargeant while everyone pretty much whines and grumbles.)
Catherine: That is IT! No more late night movies! And if I have any more grumblings about how early morning comes, I'm going to cancel everybody's subscription to MSN! Do I make myself clear?
(There is a startled silence, and everyone begins to move more energetically toward getting to class.)
Piggy: (frantically) I can't find my boot! I can't find my other boot and I'm going to be late for class!
Catherine: (placatingly) Okay, calm down. Go eat your waffles and I'll go look for it. What does it look like?
Piggy: It's black.
(Catherine sighs. Piggy has no less than 13 pairs of black boots. She bends down and slips the one boot off Piggy's foot and heads off to do battle with Piggy's closet.)
Fozzie: Catherine! Catherine--I can't find my textbook!
Kermit: Which one is it, Fozzie? I'll help you look until Catherine comes back.
Fozzie: It's--it's orange. It's my ear-wiggling textbook.
(There is a sudden silence in the room, then Kermit shakes himself.)
Kermit: Um--ear-wiggling? You're taking a class in ear-wiggling?
Fozzie: (proudly) Advanced Ear-Wiggling. I clepped out of the basic class easy.
Kermit: Oh, well, er, that's great, Fozzie. Wait--I think I found it! Is this it?
Fozzie: (rapturously) Yes! Oh, thank you Kermit! (hugs book)
(Catherine re-emerges at this point, triumphant. She has a pink feather boa around her neck and something that might be a garter belt has its hooks in her sweater, but she is clutching the boots tightly. She kneels down and helps Piggy put her boots on while Piggy gulps the last of her tea.)
Piggy: Oh, thank you Catherine! Kissy kissy! (runs for the door) Kissy kissy Kermie--see you after class!
Kermit: Bye Piggy--see you after class!
(Fozzie has his mouth full of honey and waffles so he waves. Catherine leans forward desperately and snatches his tie before it can fall in the honey.)
Fozzie: (swallowing) What's Piggy taking this semester?
Kermit: Um, Torch Songs 303, and um, Karate for Stage and Screen and, and....
Catherine: (distractedly) Accounting.
(Another dead silence.)
Kermit: Accounting? Piggy's taking accounting?
Catherine: (clearing dishes) Uh huh. It's called Accounting for Divas. It's supposed to help you figure out whether the offers you get are a good deal or not. Something about figuring royalties and residuals.
Kermit: (making a scrunchy face) I thought Marty took care of all that? Isn't that what you have an agent for?
Catherine: (grinning) Actually, Marty suggested she take it. He's one smart cookie, but there are times where your agent isn't there. I'll bet you she gets an "A." Any takers?
(Kermit and Fozzie both hold up their hands in surrender.)
Kermit: No way. I never bet against a sure thing. Okay Fozzie--you ready?
Fozzie: (mumbling around a huge mouthful of waffle) Almost.
Catherine: Um, Kermit--didn't you want any pancakes?
Kermit: (a little uncomfortably) Um, not this morning. Too sweet for me this early in the day.
Catherine: Oh--sorry. (She scrunches her face up in a fair imitation of Kermit, then smiles.) Wait a minute, though--I have something else that might do the trick. (She opens the pantry and pulls out a protien bar.) Try this.
(Kermit looks at it, reading the label.)
Kermit: "Each bar is chock full of natural protein." (He looks at the ingredients list, reading it out loud) dragonfly, millipeeds, carob, natural fruit fiber, fortified with vitamins B and C... Thanks, Catherine. THis looks great. Where'd you get this?
Catherine: Little shop near the waterfront. (A bait shop.) Thought you might like them. Let me know, okay? They have peanut-butter, too.
(Kermit nods and waves, munching happily as he starts out the door. Fozzie gets up, finishes his milk and dashes to catch up with Kermit.)
(After the door shuts, Catherine heaves a sigh of relief and whips the feather boa off, blowing little pieces of feather fluff out of her eyes. The garter belt is more stubborn, and takes some effort to remove from her sweater. She gulps her own tea--cold now--and dashes for the door. Sewing for Inanimate Objects isn't going to hold up for anyone!)
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