How about
"McDonalds... hey! At least we're not Burger King. Ever see some of the stuff they get away with? Omelet Sandwiches? And their fries...I mean really! And that King mascot... what the heck is up with that?"
Off topic... anyone see that commercial for the pipe snake thing? And the slogan is something like "Blonde hair, dark hair, long hair or short hair, you're hair or my hair." I cracked the blank up, man... I can't stop picturing him coming into your house, using your shower, and clogging it up with his hair.