Ooh! Oh Lisa! Have I said that I love your writing yet? I have? Well...
I STILL DO!!!
Sorry, got a little excited there.
My charming and evil mentor said:
They hadn’t even walked one block yet, and Kermit all ready knew that the rest of his life would be very long, stressful, and frustrating if he had to spend it working with Miss Piggy.
Sometimes first impressions are misleading, and sometimes they ain't! You start this chapter off with a bang, and you end it by making me whimper, and that's no bad thing!
Besides, if he would just stop swimming in de Nile... life would be a lot more fun. (Cue Ruahnna's stories)
She flounced around him with every step, flipping her hair and smiling at him, smotheringly trying to snuggle against him, hug him, kiss him, hold him.
<giggles> Ah, I love it when she drives him crazy. It's fun! She's a quick study in it too. It's been what, two weeks since they met? Less? Anyway, I love the description, the words flounced and smotheringly and just Piggy being Piggy... and, as you show us later, her desperate overcompensating for his being distinctly cool towards her. She's not unaware of his annoyance, but she isn't letting it stop her either.
He tried to ignore it, but he was getting flustered. Flustered, and frazzled, and frustrated, and it wasn’t even seven o’clock in the morning yet.
Mmmm, alliteration!
“PIGGY!” he finally burst, “Would you PLEASE stop that?”
She froze, her eyes shining at him. “Stop what, Kermie?” she asked.
<squee!> Hah! That's so funny! And I love her eyes shining at him, and his outburst. It's always fun when he bursts.
He cringed at the painful sweetness of her voice. “That!” he said, pointing at her all-too-innocent eyes. “That- oh, never mind!” He stormed onward with an exasperated sigh.
Lovely, lovely diction. Getting Kermit frazzled should be a national sport. There are more than a few contenders for the gold in his immediate vicinity.
She was almost instantly at his side. Again. “Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed,” she chirped. She clamped her arms around him. “Vous should relax, Mon Capitan. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”
<giggles> In... and out! In... and out! Why do I think this is not helping him at all. Oh, yeah, I know these characters!
He held his breath and tried to squirm free. “Piggy,” he said, “I don’t- have a nose!”
I love jokes where one of the muppets, often it's Kermit, points out something that they lack as an anthropomorphic animal. i.e. "Pigs don't have eyebrows."
She released him, folded her arms, turned her back to him and sighed. “Or, vous could get hung up on every little detail…”
<giggles> Like I'm doing at this very moment, but oh, what wonderful details. <has the distinct feeling Piggy considers her leaving him at dinner, one of those details.
She whirled around and looked him straight in the eyes for exactly two seconds. “Let’s go,” she snipped, and they marched on without another word of flirting or frustration.
<grins> More great diction here, though I expect nothing less from my treasured mentor, and I do love her when she's in career gal mode.
I know, I know, when don't I love her. <is not a fangirl>
Oh, one of those punchy short sentences. I got a little heart pang from that.
There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that he spent more time there than anyone else in the company.
Sigh... Kermit is special, you know? Well, what am I saying, of course you do!
Unbeknownst to most of them, he had poked his head in on every single audition.
That strikes me as a very important line... says something about his character maybe... I dunno, but it's good.
“You have got to be the strangest, most mis-matched assortment of semi-acceptable entertainers the world has ever seen,” he said with a thick British accent.
The group squirmed.
No denials, of course! It's absolutely true!
Lord Lew Grade smiled. “I can hardly pass up on that, now, can I?” he said.
<loves Lord Lew Grade> Yay!!! You've a good head on your shoulders there!
“Does that mean we’re hired?” Fozzie blurted out.
Kermit nudged him. “Fozzie,” he whispered.
Aww... Fozzie! You gotta love him.
“Prepare the standard Rich and Famous contract for Kermit the Frog and Company.”
I love that you kept that line. It amuses me greatly.
The room erupted into shouts and laughs and hugs and slaps on the back and high-fives and one unwanted porcine kiss on an amphibian’s cheek.
<giggles> GREAT!!
Miss Piggy groaned. “Is it going to ask how much rainfall there was in the nearest major city the year we were born again?”
Oh, very good, very funny. I love call backs, even little ones.
“Good!” Gonzo said, “Because I made up that answer.”
I would have too, Gonzo dear.
<giggles muchly over the fine print contracts and the lack of paper>
Kermit signed his contract and handed it to Lord Lew Grade. Lord Lew Grade signed it and shook Kermit’s hand. “Welcome to World Wide Studios, Kermit the Frog.”
Ooh, that's so exciting!
Kermit recognized him right away. “Oh hey!” he said, “You’re the agent from the swamp!”
“And you’re the frog with the banjo!” Bernie said with a smile.
I love them meeting again, that it's the same Bernie.
“Yeah!” Kermit said. “What a coincidence.”
What an
unbelievable coincidence, in fact! <shifty eyes>
“Then don’t worry a speck about it,” Bernie said. “I’ll take care of Hopper. You’ve got bigger and better things coming your way. You’re gonna make millions of people happy, kid. Millions!”
“Millions,” Kermit repeated, and he smiled.
Yay! No more Hopper trouble!!! Millions of people happy!!
Bernie grinned. “A trick of the trade,” he said. “What I’d like to know is how you and I have known each other for fifteen years without Kermit knowing about me.”
Jim smiled. “Trick of the trade.”
YAY!!! I love that Jim and Bernie set it all up, it's brilliant and thrilling and wonderful. I also love the tricks of the trade lines, which you see above.
Bernie raised an eyebrow. “Think Kermit’ll figure it out?”
Jim hesitated. “If he thinks about it, he will sooner or later,” he said. “But by the time he cares to think about it, I don’t think he’ll mind.”
I like that Jim thinks Kermit is smart enough to put two and two together, and I love the line about him not minding by the time he figures it out.
She immediately karate-chopped him.
Yeesh. Someone should have warned the guy. Still, I do love the contrast between her interview and their interviews.
“That was your warning,” Miss Piggy said. “Now listen.”
Ooh!! That was the warning. He needed a warning for the warning. <loves Piggy> <is not a fangirl>
Bernie took a deep breath, straightened up, and sat down at his desk. “You have my full attention, Miss Piggy.”
She's certainly very effective at what she does, isn't she.
A sugary smile crossed her face. “Moi should always have your full attention, Mr. Brillstein,” she said.
Ah, the Piggy ziffle line. I loved it, naturally.
She put both of her gloved hands on the desk. “Moi was interrupted from the best night of my life by a call from my last agent,” she said. “Moi dropped everything to get the offer he had for moi.
Sigh... I've gotten over the shock value, but oh, it still breaks my heart. The best night of her life...
She banged the desk so hard that she left two matching dents in it, and looked straight through Bernie with a furious glare that undoubtedly would have made a heavyweight wrestler quake with terror. Bernie was struggling to keep from fainting.
<giggles> I like it when she's all scary... and in fairness, she has a right to be upset I think. (I'd hate/love to see her when she's not giving someone a friendly word of warning.)
A flame reminiscent of the earlier glare crept into her eyes as she leaned forward. “If vous should make that mistake,” she said, “The only advice moi can give you, is to run.”
<is awash in a complete fangirl moment> <But is not a fangirl>
The whole dinner introspective section... oh, lovely lovely, and very very sad.
She sighed inwardly. Unfortunately, she knew what it felt like to advertise the killing of one’s own species, and she had done her best to save Kermit from it.
I've always wondered if Kermit realised how well Piggy would understand his feelings about Doc Hopper. Of all of them, she's probably the only one who's actually done it!
How, then, how could she have come so close to being tricked into it again? It seemed ironic, perhaps even hypocritic, that she had protected him from that evil, and then dropped him to go running towards it. It was shameful.
Oh, honey, don't beat yourself up... beat those guys up! It's not your fault, you didn't know. <sighs at the irony>
And there was no way to undo it, either. He had been so cold with her since then. Worse, he avoided her like the plague. Even now, he was at the opposite end of the table, and taking every opportunity to avoid making unnecessary eye contact with her. That was what hurt the most about her shame. She had hurt him. And she knew, every part of her knew, that she was in love with him.
Yeah, so about this point, my heart stopped beating. I thought you'd like to know that Lisa. I'm glad you've given us an insight into her guilt here, and her knowing that she was in love with Kermit. Sigh...
She gazed at him longingly. He was smiling, laughing, pleased with something. He had such a sweet smile… She loved his smile… Would he ever smile for her again, the way he had constantly that night?
<pounds chest> C'mon, beat darn you, beat! the way he had constantly... oh wow...
Yes, she decided. Somehow, she would get him to warm up to her again. Because deep in his eyes that night, she had seen- and perhaps it was only for a moment- but he had loved her, too. But how could she tell him what had happened? It was humiliating!
Ah, but there's that never say die attitude that I respect her for. Hurting maybe, but she'll keep trying. Kermit's got that in common with her... whether he knows it or not... I'm not sure.
Dinner came, and hunger forced a close to her thoughts. How would she explain it to him? Quite simply, she never would.
Just when I get my heart going again, you stab me once more! Argh!!! I love it though, I absolutely love it!
Hugs,
Leyla
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