Fan-Fic: We Know That It's Probably Magic

[redBoobergurl]

*tears* That was a beautiful ending Ryan.

And I was right!

Kermit stared directly into the face of Jim Henson. He opened and closed his mouth.

I just had a hunch that this was what was coming. And I love it, the Rainbow Connection. It was just perfect. It was so beautiful.

This was truly your greatest work so far. DON'T EVER STOP WRITING. You're really good.

 

[theprawncracker]

Wow, thanks Beth

I must agree with you though, this is my favorite story that I've written.

Oh, and don't worry, I won't stop! In fact, expect a um...slightly new one coming this weekend, and a completely new one soon!

 

[TogetherAgain]

<stunned silence>

......<STANDING OVATION!>

ENCORE! ENCORE!

 

[theprawncracker]

Encore? You want me to post the same chapter again?

 

[theprawncracker]

Where is Beau...

But anyway, I was wondering if you guys would be interested in some commentary on this story? Just say yes or no, and I'll do it, no big thing if you don't want me to. But bare in mind, that if I post commentary, it'll give me longer to think up a new story...

 

[theprawncracker]

commentary: Hello people! And welcome to the "We Know That It's Probably Magic" Commentary! I'm Ryan aka theprawncracker, I'm the one in orange (in honor of Halloween), and in blue, we have Uncle Deadly.

UD: Hello there ghosts and ghouls and welcome to the frightful story of Kermit the Frog's death.

commentary: Ready Uncle D.?

UD: Ready Ryan. Let's begin shall we?

Chapter 1: The Death

Daniel sat at his plain white desk. He tapped his pencil furriously on his desk. It was after hours, and everyone else at the office had already gone back to their homes. He had some work left over from yesterday, and he had to get it done. That, and he had been thinking alot lately.

UD: Nice guy that Daniel. We've done lunch once or twice.

It had been almost three years since he went to Earth to help Kermit the Frog. But, he couldn't stop thinking about it. The Muppets had so much love and compasion for each other. But, it was all because of Kermit. Daniel stopped tapping his pencil and threw it on his desk. He stood up and walked towards a large set of doors.

commentary: Probably not a good idea. Oh! A very subtle cameo here!

"Hey what are you doin'?" The janitor asked.

"Nothin' Matt." Daniel stomped of towards the doors.

commentary: Yep, that's Matt. AKA Beauregard here at Muppet Central. I don't think anyone caught that reference though.

UD: Well, they were to caught up in the story.

commentary: You're just saying that...

UD: Yep.

commentary: Thanks Uncle D...

"You can't go in there!"

"Listen! I've done this before! Get over it."

"Ok, it's your funeral." He returned to mopping.

He shook his head. "No, not mine. A frog's." He pushed open the huge doors, and walked in.

commentary: I really liked that line there.

UD: Yes, quite spooky.

"Boss?" He called into the lavish field inside the doors.

"Yes Danny L. what can I help you with?" A black woman with glasses asked. She was sitting on a couch watching Spongebob Squarepants on a T.V. floating in the sky. "Make it fast, there's a commercial.

commentary: I wonder if Spongebob's on now...

UD: You're not going to leave are you?

commentary: No, of course not! I have to find out what happens!

UD: But didn't you write-Oh never mind...

"Boss, I had a question." Daniel sat down on the couch. "Now that we know what would happen to the Muppets if Kermit was never born, I've been wondering what would happen if he left them now. I mean, after The Muppet Show, after all the movies and fans. What would happen to the Muppets then?"

commentary: You gotta admit, that question does make you think.

UD: Indeed. But, I have a feeling we'll find out the answer.

commentary: Yeah, me too.

"Well Danny L. I won't lie to you, I've been wondering the same thing." She sipped some coffee from her mug.

Daniel was taken aback. "Well, can we find out?" He asked.

"Of course! Of course!" She said, setting her coffee mug on a stump that formed itself into a desk. "As soon as Spongebob's over."

commentary: Hey Uncle D. can we continue this after Spongebob's over?

UD: No, no we can't now shush, it's starting!


The duo watched the screen float in the sky. Kermit walked down the empty sidewalk. He was as happy as he could be. Nothing could go wrong. The show sold great tonight. No one booed (except Statler and Waldorf of course).

commentary: Of course they booed.

Kermit heard a screeching noise behind him. He turned around abruptley. "What the hey?" A black car turned sharply around a corner. Followed closely behind by an old Cadillac. A man held his body out of the window in the Cadillac holding a gun. He was shooting at the other car.

UD: A gun? And I thought this was a Muppet movie.

A bullet hit a back tire. The car went flying off and crashed into a tree. The car caught fire on the hood. The Cadillac drove right past.

Kermit ran over to the other car. There was a man in the driver's seat of the car. He was knocked out. Kermit tried to open the door. It was locked. Kermit franticcally looked around for someone to help him. No one was there. He silently wished Uncle Deadly was here with his lock pick. Kermit tried all the doors on the car. None of them opened. He knocked violently on the window trying to wake the man. He didn't wake up.

commentary: No Kermit Noooooooo!!!

UD: Do you actually think he can here you?

commentary: Nooooooo!!!

The flames spread. Inside the hood of the car, the engine caught fire. The engine let out a roar of fire and smoke. Blowing the car; and everything within a five foot radius; away.

commentary: Ok, now you're probably all saying, "That Prawncracker's horrible! He killed Kermit!" and wondering, "Why, why did he kill our froggy friend?" Well, the answer's simple really. I was getting tired of having Kermit as the main character in all of my fan-fics, so, I thought I'd write him out of the story. But, then I realized by the time I hit chapter three, I had no more story left. I couldn't figure out where to go with it. Then I thought, why not bring Kermit in as a ghost? Then he could be with Uncle Deadly. I had no idea that the story would go the way it did, but I sure as heck am glad!

UD: Me too. But that was an awfully short chapter.

commentary: Yeah! And, I've got to find out what happens next! Let's do chapter 2!

UD: Yes! Let's!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Yes! Let's!
And I have to say, knowing what happens next sure doesn't lessen the effects of that chapter very much at all... <shiver> But LOVELY commentary, as always!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 2: The Funeral

Rowlf dropped the phone. It dangled by it's cord. All the Muppets stared at the dog. How could he tell him something like this?

"What is it doggy man?" Pepe asked sounding like a lion roaring at midnight.

UD: Nice imagery there Ryan.

commentary: Thanks.

"It's...It's Kermit..." Rowlf sighed.

"Like what's wrong Rowlf?" Janice asked.

"What about Kermit?" Fozzie asked.

"It's probably nothing," Mildred Huckstedder said. "He probably just flew off to Hollywood!"

commentary: I love writing little quips for Mildred. It started in my last fan-fic. And it continued here.

UD: It's good to see her back again. And I'm sure your friend Beauregard was happy too.

"No," Rowlf whispered. "He's gone..."

"Gone where?" Rizzo asked.

"To the tailor?" Sam Eagle projected.

"Never!" Hilda the wardrobe lady screamed. "Mr. Kermit always brings me his sewing needs!"

commentary: Hilda my love! Let's dance!

UD: Ooh! I'm telling your girlfriend!

"Maybe he was abducted by aliens!" Gonzo cried over the others.

"Man, you're insane!" Floyd yelled.

"He probably just needed to listen to some groovy tunes so he can relax." Dr. Teeth said calmly.

"NO!" Rowlf yelled. "HE'S GONE! GONE FOREVER!"

Inside, the Muppets silently lost all hope.

commentary: I really hated writing this chapter. Especially that last line right there. It tore me up inside.

"Forever?" Animal asked.

Rowlf nodded.

Miss Piggy fainted. Luckily Scooter was behind her and caught her.

commentary: I don't know if that was there for comic relief or what...

UD: It's not very comical.

commentary: Sorry, just trying to lighten things up.

"Gone..." Scooter murmered.

"Forever..." Clifford said after him.

"Well...what do we do now?" Lew Zealand asked.

The front door slammed shut. "Uncle Kermit? I'm home from school!" The tiny voice of Robin the Frog cried.

commentary: Ok, let me just say, that right about there, I had taken my heart out and ripped it in half. You know, re-reading this really makes me think about what I was writing a little more.

"Robin..." Sweetums cried. "I'll tell him."

"I'll go with you." Rowlf wiped his eyes. "He'll need us both."


Robin cried into Sweetums' huge hairy arms.

"Oh mon capitan..." Miss Piggy sobbed into her black handkerchief, her black hat covering most of her face.

Rowlf, Scooter, Gonzo, and Fozzie walked silently carrying the small dark green casket in the middle of the crowds.

UD: Powerful Ryan. Very powerful.

The crowd stood on the left and the right. Many crying, all holding back tears.

The four Muppets carried the casket to the edge of the pond. Where it sat on a table with a pedestal in front.

Rows and rows of seats were lined up in front. Fozzie, Rowlf, Scooter, and Gonzo took their seats next to Miss Piggy, The Electric Mayhem, Sweetums, Robin, and Sam Eagle, in the front row on the left side. Bunsen, Beaker, Pepe, Rizzo, Clifford, Skeeter, Lew Zealand, and The Swedish Chef sat behind. Followed by Johnny Fiama, Sal Manilla, Mildred, Hilda, George the Janitor, Beauregard, Pops, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, The Muppet Newsman, Marvin Suggs, Dr. Phil van Neuter, Bobo the Bear and all the other Classic Muppets behind them.

commentary: And then it hurt me even more to type out all the names of the people who missed Kermit.

UD: And that's not even all of them.

Big Bird, Grover, Cookie Monster, Ernie, Bert, The Count, and Oscar sat in the front row on the right. Maria, Luis, Bob, Gordon, Susan, Rosita, Elmo, Zoe, Telly, Mr. Snuffleupagus, Herry Monster, and all the other Sesame Street Muppets sat behind.

A special section was given to Gobo, Red, Wembley, Boober, Mokey, Cantus and Traveling Matt Fraggle. Another to hundreds of frogs, in the front, an old woman frog being held tightly by a sobbing female frog who looked a little like Kermit.

commentary: Reference there. That's Kermit's mother, and sister Maggie. A reference from TogetherAgain's fan-fic "Swamp Call."

Statler and Waldorf sat in two old Victorian armchairs in the very back. Behind was a huge group of humans. All geust stars, and friends. No reporters were allowed at the funeral. It was kept extremely private.

commentary: But, I'm sure the paparazi were all over the place.

UD: At least you didn't write that in.

An old man stepped upon the pedestal. "Please bow your heads." The minister told the crowd. The minister led them in prayer. "It is now my pleasure to introduce Mr. Fozzie Bear."

The audience clapped quietly. Fozzie approached the pedestal. "I was going to start tonight off with a joke." Fozzie said. "But this occasion is not joke worthy. I'm going to talk about Kermit the Frog. And how much he meant to all of us. Kermit wasn't just another one of those movie stars. He was that and so much more. He was a friend, an uncle, a brother, and a leader. He lead us all to more than we ever imagined we could do. He challenged us to follow our dreams and never give up. And none of us did. It was thanks to Kermit that that happened. If we never had Kermit, who knows where we would be. I'd probably picking pockets outside a nightclub!" The crowd let out a light chuckle. "Kermit didn't want us to be sad. And he wouldn't want us to be now! We should be happy! Not because Kermit's gone, but because of what he did for us! Thank you. Next we have The Great Gonzo leading us in song." Fozzie stepped off of the pedestal and walked back to his seat.

commentary: Uncle D. I know you don't usually tear easily, but did you happen to bring some Kleenex?

UD: Fright here Ryan, Gonzo told me to anticipate that.

commentary: Thanks. *blows nose* But anyway, I really didn't like this part either. You see, I hate funerals. So, writing one didn't exactly sound like a trip to Disney World for me...

Gonzo stepped up. "Hello, accompinying me right now is Uncle Deadly on organ."

Uncle Deadly sat at an organ. And began to play.

UD: There I am. Might I say that I love this song?

commentary: Oh! Me too! Let's sing along shall we?

UD: No.

commentary: Fine...

"This looks familiar,
Vaguely familiar,
Almost unreal yet,
It's to soon to feel yet.
Close to my soul, and yet,
So far away,
I'm going to go back there someday." Gonzo sang.

"Sun rises night falls,
Sometimes the sky calls.
Is that a song there?
And do I belong there?
I've never been there,
But I know the way.
I'm going to go back there someday."

The crowd started to sing with Gonzo.

"Come and go with me,
It's more fun to share!
We'll both be completely
At home in midair!
We're flyin' not walkin'
On featherless wings.
We can hold onto love,
Like invisible strings..."

Gonzo sang alone again.

"There's not a word yet,
For old friends who've just met.
Is that a song there?
And do I belong there?
I've never been there,
But I know the way.
I'm going to go back there someday."

"I know you'll go back someday Kermit." Gonzo said. "Rest in peace my friend. Rest in peace."

commentary: Poor Gonzo didn't know how right he was. And neither did I...

The minister rose again. "Thank you Gonzo. And now Kermit's nephew Robin will speak with Miss Piggy."

Robin hopped out of Sweetums' arms and walked to the front. Miss Piggy dabbed her eyes and followed. "Kermit the Frog was a name sinonimous with movie star." Miss Piggy began.

commentary: I think I spelled sinonimous wrong...Yeah I did, it's synonymous.

UD: Does that really matter?

commentary: No, not really.

"But," Robin said. "He was also sinonimous with family. Not just his immediate family, but all of us. We were all Uncle Kermit's family! He loved us all just the same!"

commentary: A question for my readers, does it bother you that I use the same songs from my other fan-fics? I mean I used "I'm Going to Go Back There Someday" that I used in "Sometimes it's Better to Go," and now I'm using "Just One Person," which I used in "The Revenge of Elmo." I know I use some different songs in the later chapters, but do these bug you since I used them again?

"He wanted us all to remember," Piggy said. "If just one person believes in you, deep enough and strong enough, believes in you."

"Hard enough and long enough," Robin sang.
"It stands to reason, that someone else will think,
If he can do it, I can do it."

"That's how Kermit felt!" Piggy said.
"Making it two whole people who believe in you.
Deep enough and strong enough,
Believes in you.
Hard enough and long enough,
There's bound to be some other person who who
Believes in making it a threesome,
Making it three.
People you can say, believe in me."

Fozzie joined.

"And if three whole people
Why not four?"

Then Gonzo.

"And if four whole people,
Why not more?"

Scooter, Rowlf, and Sam Eagle.

"And more,"

The Electric Mayhem.

"And more!"

Everyone at the funeral began to sing with the Muppets. The Fraggles, The Sesame Street Gang, the geusts, everyone.

"And when all those people believe in you,
Deep enough and strong enough believe in you,
Hard enough and long enough,
It stands to reason,
That you yourself will start to see what everybody sees in you!"

Robin sang alone. "And maybe even you,
Can believe in you...To..."

UD: I like that song Ryan. I think it's fine that you used it again.

Everyone in the audience sniffed or sobbed. The song meant the world to them. Robin looked around. All these people cared about his uncle. And all of them still do.

commentary: So, chapter 3 and 4 tomorrow then Uncle D.?

UD: Yes, that will be fun. Now, let's head back to the dorm.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Let's put it this way, prawncracker. I'll let you know when those songs STOP: stabbing me, hitting my weakspot, yanking my heartstrings, tearing my heart out, getting me choked up, making me cry, and essentially giving the precise effect that you intend for them to have.

...So basically, no, I don't mind at all. In fact I kind of like it.

And thank you again for the Swamp Call reference.

 

[theprawncracker]

Let's put it this way, prawncracker. I'll let you know when those songs STOP: stabbing me, hitting my weakspot, yanking my heartstrings, tearing my heart out, getting me choked up, making me cry, and essentially giving the precise effect that you intend for them to have.

...So basically, no, I don't mind at all. In fact I kind of like it.

Well, if that doesn't answer my question, I don't know what will...

Thanks Lisa!