A Rough Game/ What You Have to Do
A Rough Game
Sam the American Eagle watched as it all fell apart. He knew it would be over soon. There was just one glimmer of a chance. But it was all a roll of the dice. It was time for him to take his turn.
“Look at that, Sam,” Scooter said. “You landed on free parking!”
“Humph. Perhaps I can stay in the game for a little longer, then,” Sam huffed.
“You’re not doing too badly, Sam,” Scooter said.
“You own almost all of the board and you have several houses and hotels. How am I not doing
too badly?” Sam asked.
“Well, uh... well, you have all the railroads. That’s a big help,” Scooter offered.
“It would be a bigger help if you would actually land on them,” Sam said as he took the orange $500 bill from the middle of the board. “I can’t believe that I’m playing such an UN-patriotic game.”
Scooter shook his head. “How can it be un-patriotic? It was invented in the U. S. And besides, I offered to play The America Special Edition Monopoly, and you said no.”
Sam glared at him. “THAT suggests purchasing the United States Constitution! The Constitution is sole property of the American people. How could ANYONE suggest buying it and still claim to be
American?”
“Sam, it’s a game,” Scooter said. “We’re just playing so we don’t get bored while I wait for someone to call.” He glanced at the phone on Kermit’s desk.
“I should think that you could find your own entertainment,” Sam said, going into lecture mode. “After all, it is your OWN fault that you are here instead of actually helping to find young Robin. You were one of the first people to back out, and you were reluctant to join in helping again. How very un-American.”
“I noticed you weren’t too eager to volunteer either, Sam,” he said. “You hardly said a word last night. At least I offered to help eventually.”
“This is your idea of helping?” Sam said. “Playing Monopoly?”
“Waiting for the phone to ring so I can pass along a message,” Scooter said. “I’ve gone from go-fer to go-between. Go figure.” He looked at the phone once more with a sigh, as though that would somehow make it ring. “Just roll again, Sam. You got doubles. Do me a favor and land on Marvin Gardens.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was evening when Jeff slowed to a stop. He didn’t lower his head, simply stood in silence, listening. Robin wondered if something was wrong. With the exception of their lunch break, the two had not stopped talking since they met that morning. And now Jeff had stopped mid-sentence. Robin decided not to interrupt the silence. It clearly had a purpose.
“Robin?” Jeff said. “Listen carefully. You hear that... that sort of, we’ll call it a whooshing-hum? You hear that?”
Robin listened. “It sounds like a highway,” he said.
“It is a highway,” Jeff said. “It’s just on the other side of these trees. Denver is right across that highway. Now, from Denver, just about anything could happen. With any luck at all, you’ll be set well on your way to your Muppet Theater. But there’s one problem.”
“What’s that?” Robin asked.
“Well, to get to Denver, you have to cross the highway,” Jeff said. “I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a deer try to cross a highway, but it’s not a pretty sight. It’s an accident waiting to happen. And people can see a deer. I don’t think they’ll be able to see a little frog like you.”
“So what are we going to do?” Robin asked.
“What do you think we’re going to do?” Jeff said. “We’re going to risk it. So hold tight!”
Petrified, Robin gripped Jeff’s antlers with all of his might. Jeff dug his hooves into the ground, took a deep breath, and bolted. Robin felt a crash through a few branches, a half a moment of a steady run, and then they were airborne, leaping across three lanes of westbound traffic. There was a jolt as they landed, and immediately took off over three lanes of eastbound traffic. Another jolt, and they had landed safely on the other side of the highway.
Jeff lay down with a groan. “Oh, I didn’t know I could do that...” he lowered his head and Robin hopped off. “That’s as far as I can take you, kid,” he said.
Robin looked up at the exhausted deer. “Are you going to be okay, Jeff?” he said.
“Oh yeah, I’ll be fine,” Jeff said. “Animal services will come along in a few minutes, they’ll get me back to the forest. You better get going, though. Good luck, Robin.”
Robin put a hand on Jeff’s head. “Thank you, Jeff,” he said.
Jeff nodded. “Go call your uncle, kid. Go get yourself home.”
What You Have to Do
Several long minutes later, Robin was surrounded by all the sights, smells, and sounds of a busy city. He walked quickly down the street, trying to take in as much as he could, trying not to show how afraid he was, trying to figure out where he would most likely be able to use a phone. He scanned the shops, the restaurants, the streets...
The streets. A black pickup truck, writing on the side...
He flung himself through the nearest door and looked around. Oh, no.
I know Uncle Kermit told me to do what I have to, he thought,
but I still don’t think I should be in a bar! Maybe if I’m quick enough, I can get in somewhere else before-
But his thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and a familiar pair of boots stepped in. Robin bolted through the bar, dodging around the legs of people and tables. He saw a door and pushed himself through, not really caring where it led to. Anything to get away from Hopper, and the bar, and the smoke.
Then he heard a flush. He glanced around, realized where he was, and gulped. The ladies restroom.
At that moment, the door of the handy-cap accessible stall swung open and an old woman came out in a wheelchair. She wheeled her way to the sink, washed her hands, and turned for the door. Robin watched carefully from behind a trashcan and saw that there was a basket underneath the wheelchair, with a green coat inside.
It was his only chance. He quietly hopped inside the basket as the woman wheeled past. She didn’t notice her extra cargo. She wheeled herself out of the bar, right past Doc and Junior Hopper. Robin felt a bump as she went into the place next door to the bar. He immediately hopped out. He looked around and saw that he was in a dollar store.
“Good evening, Mrs. Thomas!” A young man’s voice rang out from behind the cash register.
“Good evening, Larry,” the woman in the wheelchair said. “I suppose your father has left you in charge of the store again tonight. Are you allowed to sell the lottery tickets yet?”
Larry smiled. “Mrs. Thomas, you know I’ve been allowed to sell the lottery tickets for a year now,” he said.
“Oh, that’s right,” Mrs. Thomas said. “Give me my usual, then.”
There was a quick exchange of money over the counter, and Mrs. Thomas rolled her way out again. Larry glanced around the shop, looking for something to do. Well, the magazines could always be sorted.
“Excuse me?” a little voice said.
Larry flinched. He didn’t see anyone. “Hello?” he said.
“Down here,” the voice said.
Larry leaned over the counter and was surprised to see a small young frog in a scout uniform with a pack on his back. He looked tired and badly shaken.
“Oh! Hello,” Larry said. “Can I help you?”
Larry was tall, with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. Robin looked up at him. “Do you have a phone that I could use?” he asked.
Larry came around in front of the counter and gently lifted Robin up, carrying him back behind the counter. “Here you go,” he said, setting the frog down in front of an old telephone.
Robin picked up the phone and started to dial. “What’s this place called?” he asked.
“Family Dollar Store,” Larry said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“But who would pay to see you do that?” Rowlf asked.
“Anyone who knows anything about art!” Gonzo said defensively.
“Which vous certainly don’t,” Miss Piggy said.
“I gotta agree with the pig on this one, Gonzo,” Rizzo said. “It sounds like a waste of perfectly good cheese!”
“Oh, hey guys, that reminds me of a joke,” Fozzie said. “Why did the cheese cross the road?”
“I don’t know, Fozzie, why did the cheese cross the road?” Rowlf said.
“Because it was tied to the chicken! Ah, Wocka wocka! Get it, because the chicken...”
“We got it, Fozzie!” Rizzo said.
“It sounds like cruelty to chickens,” Gonzo said.
Kermit silently sat in the passenger seat, holding Miss Piggy’s cell phone in his hand, trying to ignore the racket as he gazed out his window at the seemingly endless cornfields. Each of the other search parties had already called to see if there was any news from Robin, which there hadn’t been. He couldn’t help but worry. Surely Robin should have been able to find a phone by now. What if he was hurt? What if he was lying on the side of the road somewhere, with no one to help him, no one even knowing he was there? What if Hopper came along and found him like that? And what if...
He shuddered.
Stop it, Kermit, he thought.
Robin’s probably fine. He’s probably just... just... But he couldn’t come up with any way to comfort himself that his nephew was alright.
Then he heard the electronic tones of “The Entertainer” playing from the cell phone.
“Quiet, guys!” he said as he clicked a button. “Hello?”
“Uncle Kermit?”
“Robin!”
The other Muppets in the car were immediately at attention.
“Where is he?” Rowlf asked.
Kermit didn’t hear the dog. “Robin, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, Uncle Kermit. I got a ride from a deer for almost all of today.”
“Oh, good,” Kermit said. “So where are you now?”
“I’m at a place called Family Dollar Store in Denver,” Robin said.
“Okay. Um, what have you been doing for food?” Kermit asked. He had been wondering that all day.
“Well, last night the lady at that diner gave me a sandwich. And for lunch today, I had the food Miss Appleby had in her pack. But that’s all gone now.” Robin didn’t want to hang up. He wanted to stay on the phone with his uncle for as long as he could. There was something comforting about it that he didn’t want to lose.
Kermit wasn’t all too eager to hang up, either. As long as he could hear Robin’s voice, he knew his nephew was okay. But what he was saying wasn’t encouraging. “So you don’t have any food left at all?”
“Well, there’s always bugs,” Robin said.
“That’s true,” Kermit said. “What about sleeping? Where did you sleep last night?”
He listened, but there was no response.
“Robin? Are you there?”
When Robin spoke again, his voice was shaking.
“I have to go, Uncle Kermit, I’ll call you later!”
There was a click, and he was gone.
“What happened?” Fozzie asked.
“I think Hopper came,” Kermit said nervously as he quickly began to dial.
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