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theprawncracker
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Gonzo: ...Ryan, where are we?
Ryan: We, Gonzo, are in Lisa's second story Chasing Robin.
Gonzo: I... see. Why?
Ryan: 'Cause she deserves it.
Gonzo: She deserves to have us sit in her thread?
Ryan: Sit in her thread and make comments about her story, yes.
Gonzo: Huh. Okay, go on then!
Prologue
What happens to villains after they are defeated? The stories never tell. We follow the heroes home in victory and cheer for their happily-ever-afters, while the villains are abandoned in the dust. But they don’t always die. So what happens to them? Where do they go? Is there a secret hide out somewhere that defeated villains retire to? Do they scrap their evilness all together? Or do they simply hide it, start over, letting the years pass by, rehashing their plans, waiting for the perfect time to strike again...
Ryan: THAT is why I love this story! What an AWESOME prologue! What an AWESOME story idea! What an AWESOME story!
Gonzo: We haven't even started the story yet!
Ryan: Right, but I've already read it.
Gonzo: ...Not fair!
Would Have Been a Perfect Trip
Gonzo: I don't like the name of that chapter.
Ryan: Be nice.
Gonzo: I'm just saying...
Kermit strolled along the sidewalk, chatting with the guest star. He knew there was still a lot to be done at the theater before that night’s show, and he was glad to have some time to talk with her before everything got hectic.
Ryan: That's a great image. Kermit talking to the guest star before the show... Good stuff.
“You know, Ms. Rowling, it’s really a shame that Robin won’t be here,” he said. “He was really looking forward to meeting you.”
“Oh, is he back at the swamp?” J. K. Rowling asked.
Ryan: J. K. Rowling! Lisa! You don't even READ Harry Potter!
“No, actually, he’s with his Frog Scout troop. They’re camping up in Colorado for the week,” Kermit explained. “But we just love to read your books together...”
Ryan: *sings* Pllllllllot exposition!
Gonzo: Kermit and Robin read Harry Potter together at one point during the story?
Ryan: No, no, no. It's--Oh, just keep reading. *wonders what J. K. Rowling would do if she was a guest on a variety show*
Meanwhile in the Colorado Rocky Mountains, the frog scouts were proudly wearing their uniforms, on the way to the campsite where they were going to pitch their tents.
“This way, scouts!” Miss Appleby said.
Ryan: Miss Appleby! TMS reference! LOVE IT!
The young scouts grumbled amongst themselves. They had hiked several miles already, they were tired, their feet hurt, their gear was heavy, and they still had two miles ahead of them. And that was assuming they didn’t get lost for a third time under Miss Appleby’s navigation. Robin was in the lead, and he knew his troop needed a good morale lift.
Ryan: Aww! Robin! I love him! ! ! Poor Frog Scouts though...
“I can’t wait to get to the campsite,” he said. “We’re going to have so much fun this week! Right, guys?” He turned to look back at the frogs behind him.
Ryan: *bouncy* Awwww! ! !
Gonzo: Shh! I'm trying to read!
Suddenly the ground fell from beneath them. They dropped several feet to the hard-packed dirt. Then everything went black.
Ryan: WHOA! Did NOT see that coming!
Gonzo: COOL!
Ryan: *shakes head*
Robin awoke to find himself on a concrete floor, surrounded by his fellow scouts and Miss Appleby, without their gear. They were locked in some sort of jail cell, inside a cold concrete building, with an open door just a few feet away on the opposite side of the cell bars. He looked carefully at the cell door, noticed something, and smiled. The key was still in the lock. He quickly woke up the rest of the troop. Then he reached through the bars, grabbed the key, and turned it, releasing the lock. He pushed the cell door open, and they all bolted for the outdoors.
Ryan: RUN ROBIN RUN!
“HEY!” a man shouted.
Ryan: Excuse me, but they're trying to escape.
They heard heavy footsteps running behind them. The frogs ran as fast as they could, afraid to look back. The man chased them all through the woods at frightening speeds.
Robin tripped over a loose stone and fell to the ground as the frog scouts raced past him. He started to get up and noticed a gigantic butterfly net coming down on top of him. He hopped quickly out of the way, and the net fell on bare ground. The man lifted it and took aim on Robin’s new position. He hopped just out of the way, and the net fell, lifted, aimed...
The young frog dodged the net repeatedly, hopping to where ever he could to get out of the way. The man with the net chased him a long way through the forest before they broke into a clearing of tall grasses. Seeing the opportunity, Robin leapt with all of his might into the middle of the clearing and held perfectly still. Blend in, he thought. Blend in.
Ryan: This is NO time to play leap frog!
Gonzo: *rolls eyes*
He heard the man’s footsteps trudging through the grass. He’s looking for me, Robin thought. Don’t find me, please, don’t find me.
Ryan: Mmmm! *whimpers*
The footsteps were coming closer, stopping, coming closer, and stopping again. There was a pair of boots right next to him now. Robin slowly looked up. The man was wearing black jeans and a blue button-down denim shirt. He held the net at his waist, looking straight out, examining the grass. Don’t see me, Robin thought. Don’t look down.
The man sighed. “Papa is definitely not going to like this,” he said, and he walked away.
Ryan: Ohhhh dear...
When the footsteps had died away completely, Robin poked his head up from the grass. Now he had another problem. Where was he, and where was the rest of the troop?
Meanwhile, the other scouts had found their way back to the trail. Miss Appleby took a headcount. “Where’s Robin?” she asked.
The frogs looked around nervously.
“He must have gotten caught!” one of them said. “We have to go and save him!”
“No, David,” Miss Appleby said sternly. “It’s too dangerous. What we have to do is report this to the ranger station.” And she led them back up the trail.
Ryan: Ohhhhh dear... That's a good scout leader, however.
Back at the theater, Kermit stood out in front of the curtain.
“Well folks, it’s time to bring this show to an end. But first, let’s give a warm thank you to our fantastic guest star, Ms. J. K. Rowling!”
Ryan: What a torturous scene shift.
Ms. Rowling stepped through the curtain to thunderous applause.
“You know Kermit, I had a great time here tonight,” she said. “It was really wonderful to meet all of you.”
Kermit looked surprised. “All of us? Even Crazy Harry?”
She laughed. “Even Crazy Harry. He adds a whole new meaning to having a blast,” she said.
Ryan: Hmm... that sounds really familiar. Lisa, did the Muppets steal from you again?
Gonzo: You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that!
“Did some one say ‘blast’?” Crazy Harry appeared behind them holding a stick of dynamite.
They laughed.
“We’ll see you next time on The Muppet Show!” Kermit shouted.
BOOM!
They laughed their way off the stage.
A while later, Kermit was talking to Scooter.
“The show was just great tonight, boss!” the go-fer said energectically.
Ryan: Ah, Scooter. Your useful enthusiasm is to die for.
Gonzo: Did somebody say die? !
Ryan: *blink* Trying out a catchphrase, Gonzo?
Gonzo: *shrug*
“Yeah, it’s kind of surprising,” Kermit said. “No cancellations, no set or costume problems, no complaints from anybody...”
“Yeah, all we had was those three explosions.”
“Four. One more during the goodnight,” Kermit corrected him.
“Right. But not even big explosions.”
“Yeah. Something almost doesn’t feel right about it.”
Gonzo: That's because there weren't any big explosions.
They chuckled.
“Well, boss, I’m gonna head for home,” Scooter said.
Kermit nodded. “Right. Looks like just about everybody’s gone now. Props all put away?”
“Yup. We’re all set for next week.”
“Good. I’ll see you later, Scooter.”
“Okay. Have a good night, boss!” the go-fer waved as he walked away.
“You too, Scooter,” Kermit said. Then he sat down at his desk and sighed. The show had gone well. Now if only the paper work would do the same. He picked up his pencil and began to work, enjoying the silence. He was the only one in the theater now. Even Statler and Waldorf had left. There was complete and utter silence. The only sound was the scratching of Kermit’s pencil on his paper.
Ryan: Even Statler and Waldorf had left! ! ! They NEVER leave! What an eerie image you scribed there Lisa.
Ring ring.
Kermit dropped his pencil, startled.
Ring ring.
He picked up the telephone receiver. “Hello, Muppet Theater,” he said.
Ryan: Amazing how in your later stories, Lisa, Kermit answers the phone "Hi-ho."
“Uh, yes, is this Mr. Kermit the Frog?” A man’s voice came across the wires.
“Yes.”
“Sir, this is Dan Jacobs, head ranger here at Rocky Mountain National Park. I understand your nephew, Robin Frog, was here with his frog scout troop?”
Ryan: *blink*
Kermit felt his muscles tense. Something was wrong. “That’s right,” he said.
“Sir, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you...”
Ryan: Oh nooooo! ! ! *gulp*
Gonzo: That's not good! What happens next? !
Ryan: We'll have to find out later. Right now I have homework to do.
Gonzo: *sigh* No fair...
Ryan: Later gang!
Ryan: We, Gonzo, are in Lisa's second story Chasing Robin.
Gonzo: I... see. Why?
Ryan: 'Cause she deserves it.
Gonzo: She deserves to have us sit in her thread?
Ryan: Sit in her thread and make comments about her story, yes.
Gonzo: Huh. Okay, go on then!
Prologue
What happens to villains after they are defeated? The stories never tell. We follow the heroes home in victory and cheer for their happily-ever-afters, while the villains are abandoned in the dust. But they don’t always die. So what happens to them? Where do they go? Is there a secret hide out somewhere that defeated villains retire to? Do they scrap their evilness all together? Or do they simply hide it, start over, letting the years pass by, rehashing their plans, waiting for the perfect time to strike again...
Ryan: THAT is why I love this story! What an AWESOME prologue! What an AWESOME story idea! What an AWESOME story!
Gonzo: We haven't even started the story yet!
Ryan: Right, but I've already read it.
Gonzo: ...Not fair!
Would Have Been a Perfect Trip
Gonzo: I don't like the name of that chapter.
Ryan: Be nice.
Gonzo: I'm just saying...
Kermit strolled along the sidewalk, chatting with the guest star. He knew there was still a lot to be done at the theater before that night’s show, and he was glad to have some time to talk with her before everything got hectic.
Ryan: That's a great image. Kermit talking to the guest star before the show... Good stuff.
“You know, Ms. Rowling, it’s really a shame that Robin won’t be here,” he said. “He was really looking forward to meeting you.”
“Oh, is he back at the swamp?” J. K. Rowling asked.
Ryan: J. K. Rowling! Lisa! You don't even READ Harry Potter!
“No, actually, he’s with his Frog Scout troop. They’re camping up in Colorado for the week,” Kermit explained. “But we just love to read your books together...”
Ryan: *sings* Pllllllllot exposition!
Gonzo: Kermit and Robin read Harry Potter together at one point during the story?
Ryan: No, no, no. It's--Oh, just keep reading. *wonders what J. K. Rowling would do if she was a guest on a variety show*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile in the Colorado Rocky Mountains, the frog scouts were proudly wearing their uniforms, on the way to the campsite where they were going to pitch their tents.
“This way, scouts!” Miss Appleby said.
Ryan: Miss Appleby! TMS reference! LOVE IT!
The young scouts grumbled amongst themselves. They had hiked several miles already, they were tired, their feet hurt, their gear was heavy, and they still had two miles ahead of them. And that was assuming they didn’t get lost for a third time under Miss Appleby’s navigation. Robin was in the lead, and he knew his troop needed a good morale lift.
Ryan: Aww! Robin! I love him! ! ! Poor Frog Scouts though...
“I can’t wait to get to the campsite,” he said. “We’re going to have so much fun this week! Right, guys?” He turned to look back at the frogs behind him.
Ryan: *bouncy* Awwww! ! !
Gonzo: Shh! I'm trying to read!
Suddenly the ground fell from beneath them. They dropped several feet to the hard-packed dirt. Then everything went black.
Ryan: WHOA! Did NOT see that coming!
Gonzo: COOL!
Ryan: *shakes head*
Robin awoke to find himself on a concrete floor, surrounded by his fellow scouts and Miss Appleby, without their gear. They were locked in some sort of jail cell, inside a cold concrete building, with an open door just a few feet away on the opposite side of the cell bars. He looked carefully at the cell door, noticed something, and smiled. The key was still in the lock. He quickly woke up the rest of the troop. Then he reached through the bars, grabbed the key, and turned it, releasing the lock. He pushed the cell door open, and they all bolted for the outdoors.
Ryan: RUN ROBIN RUN!
“HEY!” a man shouted.
Ryan: Excuse me, but they're trying to escape.
They heard heavy footsteps running behind them. The frogs ran as fast as they could, afraid to look back. The man chased them all through the woods at frightening speeds.
Robin tripped over a loose stone and fell to the ground as the frog scouts raced past him. He started to get up and noticed a gigantic butterfly net coming down on top of him. He hopped quickly out of the way, and the net fell on bare ground. The man lifted it and took aim on Robin’s new position. He hopped just out of the way, and the net fell, lifted, aimed...
The young frog dodged the net repeatedly, hopping to where ever he could to get out of the way. The man with the net chased him a long way through the forest before they broke into a clearing of tall grasses. Seeing the opportunity, Robin leapt with all of his might into the middle of the clearing and held perfectly still. Blend in, he thought. Blend in.
Ryan: This is NO time to play leap frog!
Gonzo: *rolls eyes*
He heard the man’s footsteps trudging through the grass. He’s looking for me, Robin thought. Don’t find me, please, don’t find me.
Ryan: Mmmm! *whimpers*
The footsteps were coming closer, stopping, coming closer, and stopping again. There was a pair of boots right next to him now. Robin slowly looked up. The man was wearing black jeans and a blue button-down denim shirt. He held the net at his waist, looking straight out, examining the grass. Don’t see me, Robin thought. Don’t look down.
The man sighed. “Papa is definitely not going to like this,” he said, and he walked away.
Ryan: Ohhhh dear...
When the footsteps had died away completely, Robin poked his head up from the grass. Now he had another problem. Where was he, and where was the rest of the troop?
Meanwhile, the other scouts had found their way back to the trail. Miss Appleby took a headcount. “Where’s Robin?” she asked.
The frogs looked around nervously.
“He must have gotten caught!” one of them said. “We have to go and save him!”
“No, David,” Miss Appleby said sternly. “It’s too dangerous. What we have to do is report this to the ranger station.” And she led them back up the trail.
Ryan: Ohhhhh dear... That's a good scout leader, however.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back at the theater, Kermit stood out in front of the curtain.
“Well folks, it’s time to bring this show to an end. But first, let’s give a warm thank you to our fantastic guest star, Ms. J. K. Rowling!”
Ryan: What a torturous scene shift.
Ms. Rowling stepped through the curtain to thunderous applause.
“You know Kermit, I had a great time here tonight,” she said. “It was really wonderful to meet all of you.”
Kermit looked surprised. “All of us? Even Crazy Harry?”
She laughed. “Even Crazy Harry. He adds a whole new meaning to having a blast,” she said.
Ryan: Hmm... that sounds really familiar. Lisa, did the Muppets steal from you again?
Gonzo: You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that!
“Did some one say ‘blast’?” Crazy Harry appeared behind them holding a stick of dynamite.
They laughed.
“We’ll see you next time on The Muppet Show!” Kermit shouted.
BOOM!
They laughed their way off the stage.
A while later, Kermit was talking to Scooter.
“The show was just great tonight, boss!” the go-fer said energectically.
Ryan: Ah, Scooter. Your useful enthusiasm is to die for.
Gonzo: Did somebody say die? !
Ryan: *blink* Trying out a catchphrase, Gonzo?
Gonzo: *shrug*
“Yeah, it’s kind of surprising,” Kermit said. “No cancellations, no set or costume problems, no complaints from anybody...”
“Yeah, all we had was those three explosions.”
“Four. One more during the goodnight,” Kermit corrected him.
“Right. But not even big explosions.”
“Yeah. Something almost doesn’t feel right about it.”
Gonzo: That's because there weren't any big explosions.
They chuckled.
“Well, boss, I’m gonna head for home,” Scooter said.
Kermit nodded. “Right. Looks like just about everybody’s gone now. Props all put away?”
“Yup. We’re all set for next week.”
“Good. I’ll see you later, Scooter.”
“Okay. Have a good night, boss!” the go-fer waved as he walked away.
“You too, Scooter,” Kermit said. Then he sat down at his desk and sighed. The show had gone well. Now if only the paper work would do the same. He picked up his pencil and began to work, enjoying the silence. He was the only one in the theater now. Even Statler and Waldorf had left. There was complete and utter silence. The only sound was the scratching of Kermit’s pencil on his paper.
Ryan: Even Statler and Waldorf had left! ! ! They NEVER leave! What an eerie image you scribed there Lisa.
Ring ring.
Kermit dropped his pencil, startled.
Ring ring.
He picked up the telephone receiver. “Hello, Muppet Theater,” he said.
Ryan: Amazing how in your later stories, Lisa, Kermit answers the phone "Hi-ho."
“Uh, yes, is this Mr. Kermit the Frog?” A man’s voice came across the wires.
“Yes.”
“Sir, this is Dan Jacobs, head ranger here at Rocky Mountain National Park. I understand your nephew, Robin Frog, was here with his frog scout troop?”
Ryan: *blink*
Kermit felt his muscles tense. Something was wrong. “That’s right,” he said.
“Sir, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you...”
Ryan: Oh nooooo! ! ! *gulp*
Gonzo: That's not good! What happens next? !
Ryan: We'll have to find out later. Right now I have homework to do.
Gonzo: *sigh* No fair...
Ryan: Later gang!
One day. One day...