Hitting the Road
Robin awoke before dawn to the honking of a loud horn. He peeked around his pack to see what was the matter.
A deer dashed out of the road, narrowly missing getting hit by a semi-truck. The truck passed, and Robin took a good look at the deer. He smiled. It was a Muppet deer.
The deer looked at Robin and smiled. “That was close,” he said. “My name’s Jeff. What’s yours? What brings you to Colorado? What’s in your pack? Where are you headed? Come on, don’t be shy.”
“My name’s Robin. I was here with Frog Scouts, but I got lost. My pack is full of camping supplies, and I’m heading for the Muppet Theater,” Robin said.
“Hm... Muppet Theater... I’ve heard of that,” Jeff said. “And I’m guessing you could use a ride?”
“Sure!” Robin said.
Jeff leaned down so the frog could reach his antlers. “Climb on,” he said.
Robin flung his pack on his back, grabbed an antler, and swung himself up. Jeff waited until he could feel that Robin was secure, and then he took off through the woods at full speed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bright morning sunshine shimmered on the Cadillac’s paint as it rolled down the country road and pulled into a gas station. Kermit and Fozzie climbed out.
“How do you keep getting such nice cars?” Kermit asked.
“My uncle keeps leaving them to me when he hibernates,” Fozzie said.
“Well, where does he get them?” Kermit asked.
“I don’t know. But we need gas,” Fozzie said.
“Alright,” Kermit said. “I’ll go pay for it.” He headed for the gas station’s mini mart.
“Oh, could you get me a coffee, too?” Fozzie called after him.
Fozzie glanced inside the car as he reached for the gas pump. He wondered if his passengers knew they were in such a huddle.
Gonzo’s head was on Miss Piggy’s shoulder. Miss Piggy’s head was on Gonzo’s head. Rowlf’s head was on Gonzo’s shoulder. Rizzo was snuggled into the crook of Rowlf’s elbow.
Miss Piggy groggily lifted her head a little bit. She saw a blue hook out of the corner of her eye, and she started to drift back to sleep...
Wait. A blue hook?
She picked up her head and saw what she was sleeping on.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” she shrieked.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Gonzo screamed as he jumped up.
“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” Rowlf shouted, jumping as well.
“AAAAAAAAAH-
OW!” Rizzo yelped as he was sent flying and smacked into the window.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, Bunsen was examining the knobs and dials at the controls.
“Oh, fiddle,” he said. “Beakie, do you remember which one of these is the radio?” He tapped on of the buttons.
“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” Beaker flew through the air as his seat was ejected from the car.
From his crunched up position in the back seat, Sweetums reached forward and turned a knob. The radio clicked on, playing crisp and clear.
“Oh,” Bunsen said. “Thank you.”
“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” Beaker fell back into the car.
“Oh, there you are, Beaker!” Bunsen said. “Where have you been?”
“Mee mee mou moo!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Johnny Fiama stepped out of the pancake place.
“That was some good breakfast, wasn’t it, Sal?” he said.
“Yeah, Johnny. It was real good,” the monkey replied.
They got to the car. “Oh, no!” Johnny said. “Sal, would you look at this? Somebody scratched my paint!”
“Nobody scratches Johnny Fiama’s paint!” Sal said. “Don’t worry, Johnny, I’ll catch him!” he started to walk away.
Clifford called to them, “Guys, we don’t have time for that. We got a frog to catch!” He turned to face the restaurant door. “Yo, shrimp, are you coming?”
“Excuse me, ladies,” Pepe said to a group of disgusted looking girls. He headed towards the car. “I am not a shrimp, hokay! I am a KING PRAWN!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman in a black sedan glared at the brightly painted bus in front of her. As though the bus itself wasn’t offensive enough to the eyes with it’s absurd color and utter lack in aesthetic appeal, they were blaring their tasteless music far too loud. The drums were particularly obnoxious. Annoyed, she gave her horn a long blast and passed them.
From his seat behind the wheel, Dr. Teeth just laughed as the sedan blew past them. A few minutes later, he saw her on the side of the road, getting a speeding ticket. Floyd noticed, too, and he waved to her as they passed. “Just another lady with her strings too tight,” he said.
Animal stopped drumming and looked up slowly.
“La-dy? WO-MAN?” he said.
“Like, just play, Animal,” Janice said.
“PLAY! PLAY!” Animal shouted, beating his drums once more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Junior listened to his father intently as he drove. He had heard this speech a thousand times before, but he wouldn’t dream of not listening.
“...And it was all set to go, Junior,” Doc was saying, “everything was set up PERFECTLY. But that frog... that frog went and ruined everything.”
Junior nodded. “That won’t happen this time, Papa,” he said. “This time nothing’s going to go wrong. That little one is all by himself. We’re gonna catch him, he’s gonna do those commercials, and we’re gonna be rich. Whether he likes it or not!”
Doc smiled and patted Junior on the back. “That’s my boy,” he said. “That’s my boy.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The newsman took his seat in the Muppet Newsroom.
“Here is a Muppet Newsflash!” he said. “It has been reported that Robin Frog, nephew of the famous Kermit the Frog, has disappeared! The young frog was last seen yesterday evening in the Rocky Mountain National Park. Since then, he has called his uncle from a near by diner. Robin Frog is believed to be in serious danger. If you have any information on this situation, please call the number on your screen. In other news, the crew of the Muppet Newsroom has decided to go on strike due to-“ he froze. “What?”
He was suddenly being trampled by the entire newsroom crew. When they passed, he got up and took his seat again, cleared his throat and began to speak.
“As I was saying-“
But before he could finish his sentence, all the lights in the newsroom clicked off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jeff was tearing through the forest as fast as he could. The occasional low branch threatened to knock Robin from his antlers, but the young frog held tight as he told the deer his whole story.
“So lemme get this straight,” Jeff said. “This Hopper guy went after your uncle?”
“That’s right, a long time ago,” Robin said.
“And now he’s going after you,” Jeff said. “Does he know you two are related?”
Robin thought about it. “No. I don’t think so. Not yet anyway.”
“Not yet?” Jeff said. “What do you mean? Are you gonna tell him? How?”
Robin sighed. “I don’t know,” he said.
They reached a small clearing and Jeff slowed to a stop. He lowered his head so Robin could get off and said, “Okay, it’s lunch time!”
Robin was grateful for the break. He hadn’t eaten anything since the night before. He climbed down from Jeff’s antlers, took his pack off, opened it, and pulled out Miss Appleby’s food. He was surprised at how little food she had packed. It was just enough for one meal. He knew he should ration it, but he didn’t know how long to ration it for, and he was so hungry... besides, there would always be bugs to eat...
He ate all of the packed food while Jeff munched away at the grass.
When he finished eating, Robin closed up his pack and noticed something on the ground. He picked it up.
It was the picture. It had fallen out of his pack.
He held it close to his chest before tucking it safely in the breast pocket of his uniform. He slung his pack onto his back as Jeff approached.
“You ready to go?” Jeff said.
“Yup,” Robin said. He climbed up onto Jeff’s antlers, and they bolted off.
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