Chasing Robin

[TogetherAgain]

The Plan with commentary

“Hopper is a very dangerous man,” Kermit said. “He’s threatening to kill Robin, he tried to kill us before, and he’s likely to try to kill us now. So if anyone wants to stay here, now’s the time to say it.”

commentary Now this ended up sounding an awful lot like Kermit's line in The Great Muppet Caper- "We are about to embark on a very dangerous mission. There could be physical violence, there could be gun play, and somebody might even get killed. So if anyone wants out, now's the time to say it." And of course, the muppets' reaction is very similar as well. end commentary​

There was a tiny moment of silence. Then murmurs began to roll down the table.

Johnny turned to Sal. “Sal, I’m not so sure about this guy,” he said quietly.

“Like, do we rully wanna deal with this guy again?” Janice said to Floyd.

“I don’t want to risk my life, hokay,” Pepe said.

commentary I reall wanted to reference the "I'm so gosh darn sexy it hurts" line from Muppets Wizard of Oz here, but it didn't seem to flow, so I saved that for later. end commentary​

“Yeah, this Hopper guy ain’t my cup a’ tea,” Rizzo said.

Now everyone was talking their way out of it.

“Somebody’s gotta take care of the theater,” Scooter said.

“I don’t like galloping across the country at the spur of the moment,” Pops said.

“Kermie? I’m not sure about this,” Miss Piggy said.

Kermit looked around, almost panicking. “Um, guys?” he said. They quieted down. “I’m going. My nephew is in trouble, and I am NOT letting Hopper get him. I’ll go alone if I have to. But I’m going.”

“I’m coming with,” Fozzie said immediately.

“Me too,” Gonzo said.

“I’m with you all the way,” Rowlf said.

“You can count on me,” Bunsen said.

commentary Like I said, the Muppets have a very similar reaction to the one they had in The Great Muppet Caper. In fact, this is exactly what Bunsen says in the movie. end commentary​

“I’m in,” Sweetums said.

commentary Of course he's in. Robin is his buddy. But Sweetums is another one of those characters I'm not too comfortable writing for yet, so he stays fairly quiet. end commentary​

“I’m here for ya’, Kermit,” Floyd said.

“Fer surely,” Janice said.

“COME WITH! COME WITH!” Animal shouted.

“Yeah,” Zoot mumbled.

“You’ve got the whole band behind you, Kermit,” Dr. Teeth said.

“You know what, Kermit?” Johnny said. “You’re doing this for family... we’ll do it. Right, Sal?”

Sal snapped to attention. “Right, Johnny! We’re coming with!”

“Well don’t think you’re leaving me behind,” Clifford said.

“Si, I will come as well,” Pepe said.

Rizzo looked around. “Alright, I’ll come, too!” he said, not sounding at all pleased about it.

commentary Peer pressure. I love that part. end commentary​

Pepe glared at him. “Copycat.”

commentary Notice: Rizzo agrees to go right after Pepe does, so Pepe calls him a copycat. However Pepe himself is a copycat, since as of now he is only the second to last to agree to help. end commentary​

Kermit nodded, looking around at his friends. “I knew I could count on all of you,” he said. “Now. Robin is going to call Miss Piggy’s cell phone and-“ he stopped and turned to Miss Piggy. “Um, Piggy, are you coming, too?”

commentary Yeah, he's been volunteering Miss Piggy's cell phone, and he doesn't even know if she's coming with yet. How very wise of him. end commentary​

She shifted in her chair, uneasy. She remembered Hopper, and she was afraid. “Well, Kermie... um...”

Kermit frowned. It was very clear to him that she was letting him down. He held out his open hand and spoke very quietly. “Well, then, give me your cell phone.”

commentary I've got shivers! This part always gives me shivers. Why do I keep writing stuff that gives me shivers? It makes it so hard to hold the pen... end commentary​

Miss Piggy looked into his eyes, heard the sadness in his voice, and knew what she had to do. She took her cell phone out, placed it in his hand, and said, “I’m coming.”

Kermit nodded. “Good.” He turned to the rest of the table. “So Robin is going to call Miss Piggy’s cell phone whenever he can to say where he is. Dr. Teeth, I want you and the band to take the bus. Bunsen and Beaker, I want you to take Sweetums in your car. Johnny and Sal, you take Clifford and Pepe in your convertible. The rest of us will take the Cadillac. We’ll each take a slightly different route, and adjust our destinations to where ever Robin is. I want you each to call every day and find out where Robin is.”

They all nodded and gathered around the maps. They were ready to follow Kermit’s lead as they jumped into action.

commentary Yes, ready, willing and somewhat able to follow their not so fearless leader into the great unknown. Yeah, they'll find Robin in no time, right? Because they're so prepared to... um... no. end commentary​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Robin finished the last bite of his sandwich and took a final swallow of his milk. It had been a very fulfilling meal, both physically and emotionally. It had been prepared in exactly the way he liked, and peppered with friendly conversation from the woman behind the counter. He pushed the empty plate away from him. “Thank you very much, Cheryl,” he said. “I feel bad that I can’t pay you.”

commentary Cheryl! Cheryl Henson! You see I had so many cameos in Destination: Home that I was thinking, meh, let's not do cameos this time around. But then I thought, where's the fun in that? So here's Cheryl. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I have no idea what kind of sandwich Robin was eating. end commentary​

She smiled. “Don’t worry about it,” she said as she started to clear away the plate. “I’m just glad I have something to do for a change.” She picked up a rag to wipe down the counter and glanced out the window. She froze. “You should go,” she said.

Robin turned and looked out into the parking lot. He grabbed his pack.

“Go out the back,” Cheryl said, pointing the way.

commentary I love having him run without really saying why. Just, "Look, he's running!" Why is he running? Oh, I think there's a bad guy coming. Let's go look and see! end commentary​

He raced out as fast as he could. No sooner had he closed the back door behind him than the front door opened and Doc and Junior Hopper walked in.

commentary Ah ha, I was right! We have here the villains in all their villanous glory, being... um... villains. end commentary​

“Have you seen a frog?” Doc asked.

“Oh, I’ve seen lots of frogs,” Cheryl said, and she quickly launched into a long, detailed description of the annual frog race she attended each fall.

commentary My cousin and aunt used to go to annual frog races. There's many a picture of my cousin kissing a frog. None of them ever turned into a prince, though. What a pity. end commentary​

Robin rushed down the back alley, searching. He had to get away, and he knew his little frog legs weren’t quite fast enough. Something caught his eye. He went over to inspect it.

A black skateboard was leaning up against a building. It could work. It was better than nothing. But then, he couldn’t just take it. That wouldn’t be fair.

commentary Aw, little froggy with a concious! He's running for his life and he's still too much of a sweetheart to steal. Oh, let's all give him a hug! end commentary​

He reached into his pack and felt around carefully, pulling something out.

It was a small wooden box. Robin went through the carefully packed contents in his mind. A bar of chocolate, a deck of cards, a travel-size game of Chinese checkers, an empty journal, a brand-new book... yes, it could pass as a fair trade.

commentary So, how the heck did I come up with this seemingly random list of items? I took a look around my room. I have everything on that list in my room, except for the bar of chocolate. But chocolate's good, how could he not pack chocolate? end commentary​

He opened the box and removed one thing- a picture of him and Uncle Kermit, sitting together on a chair, an open book in front of them. He put the picture carefully in his pack, set the box on the ground, got on the skateboard, and rolled away.

commentary Ah, yes, the picture. This is the same picture that was on the shelf with all the other family pictures in Muppets From Space. end commentary​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Kermit held the framed picture in his hands. It was him and his little nephew Robin, sitting together in a chair, an open book in front of them.

commentary Hey, speaking of the shelf with family pictures, guess where Kermit is standing? end commentary​

He stared at it sadly, worrying as he carried it to the stairs and began to climb up them. He stopped and sat down, halfway down the stairs.

commentary Halfway down the stairs is a stair where I sit... some one hand me a tissue. Actually I wanted Robin to end up sitting halfway down the stairs at some point to stop and catch his breath from running away, but it never really happened. end commentary​

This was more than he could take. He needed to save Robin. That was all he could think. He needed to save Robin.

He felt a furry hand on his shoulder and turned to see Fozzie, waiting, supporting, sharing the burden, giving his friend the strength he needed.

“Kermit?” he said. “We’re ready.”

Kermit nodded. They walked down the stairs together and stopped at the table, where Kermit’s suitcase was waiting. Kermit opened it, put the picture inside, closed it, turned to Fozzie and said, “Let’s go.”

commentary Ok, here come the cars. Many thanks to my cousin for helping me figure out what kind of car Muppet Labs should have, as well as the latest car Fozzie's uncle left to him. end commentary​

Outside, a line of four vehicles was waiting. In the front there was a shiny, off-white 1959 Cadillac. Behind it was the Electric Mayhem bus, with it’s own absurd paint job. Next, an old orange Volkswagen Beetle, with dozens upon dozens of extra gadgets that Bunsen had added to the controls. Last in line was Johnny’s brand new, bright red convertible.

commentary I knew all along that Johnny would have a brand new bright red convertible. I didn't know until I wrote that last sentence that it would get banged up to no end. end commentary​

As soon as they saw Kermit and Fozzie emerge from the house, the Muppets all started to load into their respective vehicles.

Scooter stopped Kermit on the front stoop.

“I can’t sit back and watch, Boss,” he said. “Tell me what I can do.”

commentary This is just me settling a tiny little something that had been bothering me. Scooter vocalized that he wouldn't help, and didn't vocalize that he would. I kept thinking, no, Scooter would help. But I didn't have room for him on the road. So I left him at the theater with Sam, which led to a bit of humor. end commentary​

“You can be our home base,” Kermit said. “If the Ranger Station finds anything, they’ll probably call the theater. I’ll do the same. You can be our go-between.”

commentary Then of course I realized I needed to make a joke out of the go-fer being the go-between. Actually, I wanted to make it a running gag, but it didn't come nearly as naturally as the deer. end commentary​

Scooter nodded. “Right. Good luck, Boss.”

“Thanks, Scooter,” Kermit said. He and Fozzie stepped down onto the ground. Dusk had fallen, and the thick night air fully engulfed them. But there was no time to lose. Kermit checked with each driver one last time before he joined Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Rowlf, and Rizzo in the Cadillac. They pulled away from the curb and drove off for Colorado.

commentary Oh, funny story. When I was writing this, my uncle was reading over my shoulder. He was teasing me that I was writing a love letter, then he saw "Kermit" and asked why I was talking about Kermit in a love letter. Then he read that last paragraph and said it was one crazy love letter. Keep in mind this is the same uncle who asked me how my boyfriend was when I was five years old. end commentary​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Robin was tired. The skateboard was a lot for him to push. He tried to sit down as he went, and it worked surprisingly well. He wondered where he was heading. The hours passed, the towns faded, and the daylight slipped slowly away. Exhaustion started to take over. The young frog rolled to a stop on the side of the road and was almost instantly sound asleep.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Announcer:We Interrupt this program for something more interesting. What? Oh sorry, switched scripts in the middle there... We interrupt this program for a message from our sponsor. We have a sponsor?

<screen fills with static for a moment. The static clears to show a talk show setting. Our host is a tall bald man with a huge nose. He is interviewing Kermit the Frog.>

Magnus (host): I was doing this show for years, you know?

Kermit: Uh huh.

Mangus: And then they just went and changed my timeslot! You know who they gave my timeslot to? That sitcom, The Moppet Family! So I was settling into a new time slot, and they move me again for that "TKO" thing. They moved me for a bunch of looney thread killers that don't even know what they're doing and-

Kermit: Uh, Mangus, I think we're on the air.

Mangus: What? Oh! Hello and welcome back to the Magnus Tangent Show. I'm Magnus, here today with Kermit the Frog.

Kermit: Hi ho!

Magnus: So Kermit, how is everything down at the theater?

Kermit: Well...

Magnus: I know you've been putting on that weekly show, how's that going?

Kermit: Well we had a couple bad nights last month, that hit us pretty hard. But you know, we've been getting a lot of really good audiences lately, and we should be able to recover.

Magnus: Good to hear, good to hear. So do you have anything big coming up?

Kermit: Oh, as a matter of fact we do. We're doing a big Summer special. It's called "Under the Weeping Willow," it'll be every night for the last week in July.

Magnus: Oh, sounds good. Are tickets on sale now?

Kermit: You can get tickets the night of the show you want to go to on a first-come-first-serve basis.

Magnus: Well I will definately be there.

Kermit: Oh good.

Magnus: Now tell me, Kermit, I've heard rumors that the Muppet Theater has been having some security issues. Is that true?

Kermit: <looking nervous> Uh, no, that- those are just rumors.

Magnus: Really.

Kermit: Uh, yeah.

Magnus: So all that talk about some one breaking in and robbing the theater-

Kermit: That's just tabloid reporters sticking their noses where they don't belong, yeah.

Magnus: <angry> Are you making fun of my nose?!?

Kermit: No, no, not at all, it was just an expression.

Magnus: You were making fun of my nose!

Kermit: Uh, no I wasn't. Not- not intentionally.

Magnus: I don't believe this, Kermit, I have you come on the show, give you a chance to promote your show, and you make fun of my nose!

Kermit: Look, I-

Magnus: We'll talk about this, Kermit. Anyway, folks, for more information on Kermit, the muppets, and their show "Under the Weeping Willow," just read a new thread coming soon called "Summer in the Theater".

Kermit: Only at Muppet Central!

Magnus: Right!

Announcer: We now return you to that other thing you were pretending to enjoy. And remember, if you want something more interesting than random commentary, just wait for this "Summer in the Theater" thread. Wait a second, we're advertising another thread? But won't we lose readers that way?

<screen fills with static again>

 

[Beauregard]

Hehe! Cool! Sound swonderfull! Knowone "nose" quite what the plot is going to be, so it sounds fun!!!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Plot? What the heck is that? Why would you need to know it? Hmph. Crazy people, thinking I'll know the plot, just because I'm writing it... Anyways. Glad you like the looks of it, Beau.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Hitting the Road with commentary

commentary Alright, that's it! I heard from some guy in the media that people are getting BORED with this commentary! Hmph! Well, I will have you know that no one will get bored here! I'm bringing in some extra help. Sam! Get over here! end commentary​

Sam Where am I? end Sam

commentary Oh, you're in cyber space. This is the internet, you're helping me give commentary on this fanfic I wrote. end commentary

Sam Mm. But is it cultural? end Sam

commentary Oh yeah, this is good old fashioned American ingenuity at it's finest! end commentary

Sam Mm. end Sam​

Robin awoke before dawn to the honking of a loud horn. He peeked around his pack to see what was the matter.

A deer dashed out of the road, narrowly missing getting hit by a semi-truck. The truck passed, and Robin took a good look at the deer. He smiled. It was a Muppet deer.

The deer looked at Robin and smiled. “That was close,” he said. “My name’s Jeff. What’s yours? What brings you to Colorado? What’s in your pack? Where are you headed? Come on, don’t be shy.”

commentary Jeff's really talkative. end commentary

Sam How Un-American! end Sam

commentary Oh don't be so critical, Sam. This character is very DEER to my heart. end commentary​

“My name’s Robin. I was here with Frog Scouts, but I got lost. My pack is full of camping supplies, and I’m heading for the Muppet Theater,” Robin said.

“Hm... Muppet Theater... I’ve heard of that,” Jeff said. “And I’m guessing you could use a ride?”

“Sure!” Robin said.

Jeff leaned down so the frog could reach his antlers. “Climb on,” he said.

Robin flung his pack on his back, grabbed an antler, and swung himself up. Jeff waited until he could feel that Robin was secure, and then he took off through the woods at full speed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

The bright morning sunshine shimmered on the Cadillac’s paint as it rolled down the country road and pulled into a gas station. Kermit and Fozzie climbed out.

commentary Let's take a direct shot at The Muppet Movie, shall we? end commentary

Sam If you insist. end commentary​

“How do you keep getting such nice cars?” Kermit asked.

“My uncle keeps leaving them to me when he hibernates,” Fozzie said.

commentary Wasn't that fun? end commentary

Sam No. end Sam​

“Well, where does he get them?” Kermit asked.

“I don’t know. But we need gas,” Fozzie said.

“Alright,” Kermit said. “I’ll go pay for it.” He headed for the gas station’s mini mart.

“Oh, could you get me a coffee, too?” Fozzie called after him.

Fozzie glanced inside the car as he reached for the gas pump. He wondered if his passengers knew they were in such a huddle.

Gonzo’s head was on Miss Piggy’s shoulder. Miss Piggy’s head was on Gonzo’s head. Rowlf’s head was on Gonzo’s shoulder. Rizzo was snuggled into the crook of Rowlf’s elbow.

Miss Piggy groggily lifted her head a little bit. She saw a blue hook out of the corner of her eye, and she started to drift back to sleep...

Wait. A blue hook?

She picked up her head and saw what she was sleeping on.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” she shrieked.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Gonzo screamed as he jumped up.

“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” Rowlf shouted, jumping as well.

“AAAAAAAAAH-OW!” Rizzo yelped as he was sent flying and smacked into the window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Meanwhile, Bunsen was examining the knobs and dials at the controls.

“Oh, fiddle,” he said. “Beakie, do you remember which one of these is the radio?” He tapped on of the buttons.

Sam Why isn't he looking at the road? How un-American! end Sam

commentary Actually, Sam, less and less Americans actually watch where they're going on the road. end commentary

Sam Shocking! end Sam​

“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” Beaker flew through the air as his seat was ejected from the car.

From his crunched up position in the back seat, Sweetums reached forward and turned a knob. The radio clicked on, playing crisp and clear.

“Oh,” Bunsen said. “Thank you.”

“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” Beaker fell back into the car.

“Oh, there you are, Beaker!” Bunsen said. “Where have you been?”

“Mee mee mou moo!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Johnny Fiama stepped out of the pancake place.

“That was some good breakfast, wasn’t it, Sal?” he said.

“Yeah, Johnny. It was real good,” the monkey replied.

They got to the car. “Oh, no!” Johnny said. “Sal, would you look at this? Somebody scratched my paint!”

“Nobody scratches Johnny Fiama’s paint!” Sal said. “Don’t worry, Johnny, I’ll catch him!” he started to walk away.

Clifford called to them, “Guys, we don’t have time for that. We got a frog to catch!” He turned to face the restaurant door. “Yo, shrimp, are you coming?”

“Excuse me, ladies,” Pepe said to a group of disgusted looking girls. He headed towards the car. “I am not a shrimp, hokay! I am a KING PRAWN!”

Sam Is this story going to get any morals at some point? end Sam

commentary What do you mean? They're making major sacrifices to save Robin, I'd call that more than just morals! end commentary

Sam What about culture? Does it get any of that? end Sam

commentary What did I get myself in to? end commentary​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

A woman in a black sedan glared at the brightly painted bus in front of her. As though the bus itself wasn’t offensive enough to the eyes with it’s absurd color and utter lack in aesthetic appeal, they were blaring their tasteless music far too loud. The drums were particularly obnoxious. Annoyed, she gave her horn a long blast and passed them.

Sam This looks like a nice CULTURAL character. end Sam.

commentary Sure, if you ignore the fact that she's speeding and she judges the Electric Mayhem without even getting to know them. end commentary​

From his seat behind the wheel, Dr. Teeth just laughed as the sedan blew past them. A few minutes later, he saw her on the side of the road, getting a speeding ticket. Floyd noticed, too, and he waved to her as they passed. “Just another lady with her strings too tight,” he said.

Animal stopped drumming and looked up slowly.

“La-dy? WO-MAN?” he said.

“Like, just play, Animal,” Janice said.

“PLAY! PLAY!” Animal shouted, beating his drums once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Junior listened to his father intently as he drove. He had heard this speech a thousand times before, but he wouldn’t dream of not listening.

“...And it was all set to go, Junior,” Doc was saying, “everything was set up PERFECTLY. But that frog... that frog went and ruined everything.”

Junior nodded. “That won’t happen this time, Papa,” he said. “This time nothing’s going to go wrong. That little one is all by himself. We’re gonna catch him, he’s gonna do those commercials, and we’re gonna be rich. Whether he likes it or not!”

Doc smiled and patted Junior on the back. “That’s my boy,” he said. “That’s my boy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

The newsman took his seat in the Muppet Newsroom.

“Here is a Muppet Newsflash!” he said. “It has been reported that Robin Frog, nephew of the famous Kermit the Frog, has disappeared! The young frog was last seen yesterday evening in the Rocky Mountain National Park. Since then, he has called his uncle from a near by diner. Robin Frog is believed to be in serious danger. If you have any information on this situation, please call the number on your screen. In other news, the crew of the Muppet Newsroom has decided to go on strike due to-“ he froze. “What?”

He was suddenly being trampled by the entire newsroom crew. When they passed, he got up and took his seat again, cleared his throat and began to speak.

“As I was saying-“

But before he could finish his sentence, all the lights in the newsroom clicked off.

Sam What was the point of that? end Sam

commentary Waste time and add comedy. end commentary

Sam That is not quality entertainment. end Sam.​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Jeff was tearing through the forest as fast as he could. The occasional low branch threatened to knock Robin from his antlers, but the young frog held tight as he told the deer his whole story.

Sam Ugh, are we back to this deer? end Sam

commentary Yay, we're back to Jeff and Robin! end commentary​

“So lemme get this straight,” Jeff said. “This Hopper guy went after your uncle?”

“That’s right, a long time ago,” Robin said.

“And now he’s going after you,” Jeff said. “Does he know you two are related?”

Robin thought about it. “No. I don’t think so. Not yet anyway.”

“Not yet?” Jeff said. “What do you mean? Are you gonna tell him? How?”

Robin sighed. “I don’t know,” he said.

They reached a small clearing and Jeff slowed to a stop. He lowered his head so Robin could get off and said, “Okay, it’s lunch time!”

Robin was grateful for the break. He hadn’t eaten anything since the night before. He climbed down from Jeff’s antlers, took his pack off, opened it, and pulled out Miss Appleby’s food. He was surprised at how little food she had packed. It was just enough for one meal. He knew he should ration it, but he didn’t know how long to ration it for, and he was so hungry... besides, there would always be bugs to eat...

He ate all of the packed food while Jeff munched away at the grass.

When he finished eating, Robin closed up his pack and noticed something on the ground. He picked it up.

It was the picture. It had fallen out of his pack.

He held it close to his chest before tucking it safely in the breast pocket of his uniform. He slung his pack onto his back as Jeff approached.

“You ready to go?” Jeff said.

“Yup,” Robin said. He climbed up onto Jeff’s antlers, and they bolted off.

Sam Hmph! Well, after reading this chapter, I have come to the conclusion that this story is completely lacking in morals, culture, and any sort of QUALITY entertainment. end Sam

commentary Sam? Get out of here. end commentary​

 

[TogetherAgain]

A Rough Game with commentary

commentary Ok guys. Sorry about Sam last chapter, I guess that wasn't the brightest idea. But hey, speaking of Sam, look who it is. end commentary​

Sam the American Eagle watched as it all fell apart. He knew it would be over soon. There was just one glimmer of a chance. But it was all a roll of the dice. It was time for him to take his turn.

commentary Now the idea there was to freak everybody out that something's going wrong at the theater too. Everybody sufficiently freaked out? end commentary​

“Look at that, Sam,” Scooter said. “You landed on free parking!”

commentary Now laugh at yourself for getting freaked out over a game of Monopoly. Ok, so it didn't quite work out as well as I had hoped it would, but I still like it. end commentary​

“Humph. Perhaps I can stay in the game for a little longer, then,” Sam huffed.

“You’re not doing too badly, Sam,” Scooter said.

“You own almost all of the board and you have several houses and hotels. How am I not doing too badly?” Sam asked.

“Well, uh... well, you have all the railroads. That’s a big help,” Scooter offered.

“It would be a bigger help if you would actually land on them,” Sam said as he took the orange $500 bill from the middle of the board. “I can’t believe that I’m playing such an UN-patriotic game.”

Scooter shook his head. “How can it be un-patriotic? It was invented in the U. S. And besides, I offered to play The America Special Edition Monopoly, and you said no.”

commentary That's actually what I was playing when I got the idea for them to play Monopoly. I was playing the America Special Edition and I thought, "Sam would be proud." Then someone landed on the Constitution and bought it and I thought, "Then again maybe not." So that's where this whole game came from. end commentary​

Sam glared at him. “THAT suggests purchasing the United States Constitution! The Constitution is sole property of the American people. How could ANYONE suggest buying it and still claim to be American?”

“Sam, it’s a game,” Scooter said. “We’re just playing so we don’t get bored while I wait for someone to call.” He glanced at the phone on Kermit’s desk.

“I should think that you could find your own entertainment,” Sam said, going into lecture mode. “After all, it is your OWN fault that you are here instead of actually helping to find young Robin. You were one of the first people to back out, and you were reluctant to join in helping again. How very un-American.”

“I noticed you weren’t too eager to volunteer either, Sam,” he said. “You hardly said a word last night. At least I offered to help eventually.”

commentary Now you know how I mentioned earlier that something didn't feel right about Scooter not helping? That's what I was trying to vocalize here. end commentary​

“This is your idea of helping?” Sam said. “Playing Monopoly?”

“Waiting for the phone to ring so I can pass along a message,” Scooter said. “I’ve gone from go-fer to go-between. Go figure.”

commentary Come on, you can't tell me you didn't see that coming. Go-fer to go-between. I couldn't resist. end commentary​

He looked at the phone once more with a sigh, as though that would somehow make it ring. “Just roll again, Sam. You got doubles. Do me a favor and land on Marvin Gardens.”

commentary Why Marvin Gardens? Well, because it was the only property I could think of that comes after Free Parking that would actually make sense for Sam to land on. The only other ones I could remember were Park Place and Boardwalk. Of course I could have just gone downstairs and checked the board... end commentary​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

It was evening when Jeff slowed to a stop. He didn’t lower his head, simply stood in silence, listening. Robin wondered if something was wrong. With the exception of their lunch break, the two had not stopped talking since they met that morning. And now Jeff had stopped mid-sentence. Robin decided not to interrupt the silence. It clearly had a purpose.

“Robin?” Jeff said. “Listen carefully. You hear that... that sort of, we’ll call it a whooshing-hum? You hear that?”

commentary I couldn't really come up with a better description of the sound a highway makes. Which is kind of sad, because I can always hear the highway from where I live. end commentary​

Robin listened. “It sounds like a highway,” he said.

“It is a highway,” Jeff said. “It’s just on the other side of these trees. Denver is right across that highway. Now, from Denver, just about anything could happen. With any luck at all, you’ll be set well on your way to your Muppet Theater. But there’s one problem.”

“What’s that?” Robin asked.

“Well, to get to Denver, you have to cross the highway,” Jeff said. “I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a deer try to cross a highway, but it’s not a pretty sight. It’s an accident waiting to happen. And people can see a deer. I don’t think they’ll be able to see a little frog like you.”

“So what are we going to do?” Robin asked.

“What do you think we’re going to do?” Jeff said. “We’re going to risk it. So hold tight!”

commentary Way to scare the pants off a frog, Jeff. You didn't have to tell Robin how dangerous it was. end commentary​

Petrified, Robin gripped Jeff’s antlers with all of his might. Jeff dug his hooves into the ground, took a deep breath, and bolted. Robin felt a crash through a few branches, a half a moment of a steady run, and then they were airborne, leaping across three lanes of westbound traffic. There was a jolt as they landed, and immediately took off over three lanes of eastbound traffic. Another jolt, and they had landed safely on the other side of the highway.

Jeff lay down with a groan. “Oh, I didn’t know I could do that...” he lowered his head and Robin hopped off.

commentary I don't know, do you think a deer could really jump over three lanes of traffic in one jump, and then jump over another three lanes right away? I don't think he would even be able to make the first jump, but whatever. end commentary​

“That’s as far as I can take you, kid,” he said.

Robin looked up at the exhausted deer. “Are you going to be okay, Jeff?” he said.

“Oh yeah, I’ll be fine,” Jeff said. “Animal services will come along in a few minutes, they’ll get me back to the forest. You better get going, though. Good luck, Robin.”

commentary Good old animal services. They'll probably shut down the whole highway just to help this deer get home. And the next day all the kids will be asking "Why did the deer cross the road?" And some one will come up with a nice lame punch-line. end commentary​

Robin put a hand on Jeff’s head. “Thank you, Jeff,” he said.

Jeff nodded. “Go call your uncle, kid. Go get yourself home.”

commentary What a short chapter. So short, in fact, that I originally almost forgot to post it. But almost doesn't count, right? Still, it made for a very amusing edit. end commentary​

 

[TogetherAgain]

What You Have to Do with commentary

commentary Ok, let's try this again. This time I've got Rowlf the Dog here with me. Say hello, Rowlf. end commentary

Rowlf Hello, Rowlf. end Rowlf.​

Several long minutes later, Robin was surrounded by all the sights, smells, and sounds of a busy city. He walked quickly down the street, trying to take in as much as he could, trying not to show how afraid he was, trying to figure out where he would most likely be able to use a phone. He scanned the shops, the restaurants, the streets...

The streets. A black pickup truck, writing on the side...

commentary Hey look, I actually told you that Hopper was there this time. end commentary

Rowlf Well, not really. You told us that the truck was there. end Rowlf

commentary Oh, picky picky! end commentary​

He flung himself through the nearest door and looked around. Oh, no. I know Uncle Kermit told me to do what I have to, he thought, but I still don’t think I should be in a bar! Maybe if I’m quick enough, I can get in somewhere else before-

Rowlf Robin in a bar? Never pictured that happening. end Rowlf

commentary Yes, well you'll notice how much he's freaking out about it. end commentary​

But his thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and a familiar pair of boots stepped in. Robin bolted through the bar, dodging around the legs of people and tables. He saw a door and pushed himself through, not really caring where it led to. Anything to get away from Hopper, and the bar, and the smoke.

Then he heard a flush. He glanced around, realized where he was, and gulped. The ladies restroom.

Rowlf Now that's even worse than the bar. end Rowlf

commentary That was the point. end commentary​

At that moment, the door of the handy-cap accessible stall swung open and an old woman came out in a wheelchair. She wheeled her way to the sink, washed her hands, and turned for the door. Robin watched carefully from behind a trashcan and saw that there was a basket underneath the wheelchair, with a green coat inside.

Rowlf You know Kermit always gets a weird feeling around green coats. end Rowlf

commentary Really? Why's that? end commentary

Rowlf He's never told me. end Rowlf​

It was his only chance. He quietly hopped inside the basket as the woman wheeled past. She didn’t notice her extra cargo. She wheeled herself out of the bar, right past Doc and Junior Hopper. Robin felt a bump as she went into the place next door to the bar. He immediately hopped out. He looked around and saw that he was in a dollar store.

“Good evening, Mrs. Thomas!” A young man’s voice rang out from behind the cash register.

“Good evening, Larry,” the woman in the wheelchair said. “I suppose your father has left you in charge of the store again tonight. Are you allowed to sell the lottery tickets yet?”

Larry smiled. “Mrs. Thomas, you know I’ve been allowed to sell the lottery tickets for a year now,” he said.

commentary Ladies and gentlemen, meet my dad, age... oh, we'll say nineteen. Although I recently found out that they didn't start selling lottery tickets at my grandpa's store until after my dad stopped working there. end commentary

Rowlf Go figure. end Rowlf​

“Oh, that’s right,” Mrs. Thomas said. “Give me my usual, then.”

There was a quick exchange of money over the counter, and Mrs. Thomas rolled her way out again. Larry glanced around the shop, looking for something to do. Well, the magazines could always be sorted.

“Excuse me?” a little voice said.

Larry flinched. He didn’t see anyone. “Hello?” he said.

“Down here,” the voice said.

Larry leaned over the counter and was surprised to see a small young frog in a scout uniform with a pack on his back. He looked tired and badly shaken.

“Oh! Hello,” Larry said. “Can I help you?”

Larry was tall, with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. Robin looked up at him. “Do you have a phone that I could use?” he asked.

Larry came around in front of the counter and gently lifted Robin up, carrying him back behind the counter. “Here you go,” he said, setting the frog down in front of an old telephone.

Robin picked up the phone and started to dial. “What’s this place called?” he asked.

“Family Dollar Store,” Larry said.

Rowlf Now was that the actual name of your grandpa's store? end Rowlf

commentary No, my grandpa's store had our last name in the name. Hey that sounds weird. end commentary​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

“But who would pay to see you do that?” Rowlf asked.

“Anyone who knows anything about art!” Gonzo said defensively.

“Which vous certainly don’t,” Miss Piggy said.

“I gotta agree with the pig on this one, Gonzo,” Rizzo said. “It sounds like a waste of perfectly good cheese!”

Rowlf That was one crazy act. end Rowlf

commentary You're tellin' me! end commentary

Rowlf Hey, should we tell the readers what the act was? end Rowlf

commentary Nah, I might want to use it in another fanfic. They can private message me if they want to know what the act was. end commentary​

“Oh, hey guys, that reminds me of a joke,” Fozzie said. “Why did the cheese cross the road?”

“I don’t know, Fozzie, why did the cheese cross the road?” Rowlf said.

“Because it was tied to the chicken! Ah, Wocka wocka! Get it, because the chicken...”

“We got it, Fozzie!” Rizzo said.

“It sounds like cruelty to chickens,” Gonzo said.

Kermit silently sat in the passenger seat, holding Miss Piggy’s cell phone in his hand, trying to ignore the racket as he gazed out his window at the seemingly endless cornfields. Each of the other search parties had already called to see if there was any news from Robin, which there hadn’t been. He couldn’t help but worry. Surely Robin should have been able to find a phone by now. What if he was hurt? What if he was lying on the side of the road somewhere, with no one to help him, no one even knowing he was there? What if Hopper came along and found him like that? And what if...

He shuddered. Stop it, Kermit, he thought. Robin’s probably fine. He’s probably just... just... But he couldn’t come up with any way to comfort himself that his nephew was alright.

Then he heard the electronic tones of “The Entertainer” playing from the cell phone.

Rowlf So how'd you decide on "The Entertainer" for Miss Piggy's ring? end Rowlf

commentary Well, at first I wanted it to be Für Elise, but I couldn't figure out how to spell it. Then I heard an ice cream truck going by, and I remembered that she sang "The Entertainer" on The Muppet Show one time... end commentary

Rowlf And who could forget? end Rowlf​

“Quiet, guys!” he said as he clicked a button. “Hello?”

“Uncle Kermit?”

“Robin!”

The other Muppets in the car were immediately at attention.

“Where is he?” Rowlf asked.

Kermit didn’t hear the dog. “Robin, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay, Uncle Kermit. I got a ride from a deer for almost all of today.”

“Oh, good,” Kermit said. “So where are you now?”

“I’m at a place called Family Dollar Store in Denver,” Robin said.

“Okay. Um, what have you been doing for food?” Kermit asked. He had been wondering that all day.

“Well, last night the lady at that diner gave me a sandwich. And for lunch today, I had the food Miss Appleby had in her pack. But that’s all gone now.” Robin didn’t want to hang up. He wanted to stay on the phone with his uncle for as long as he could. There was something comforting about it that he didn’t want to lose.

Kermit wasn’t all too eager to hang up, either. As long as he could hear Robin’s voice, he knew his nephew was okay. But what he was saying wasn’t encouraging. “So you don’t have any food left at all?”

“Well, there’s always bugs,” Robin said.

“That’s true,” Kermit said. “What about sleeping? Where did you sleep last night?”

He listened, but there was no response.

“Robin? Are you there?”

When Robin spoke again, his voice was shaking. “I have to go, Uncle Kermit, I’ll call you later!”

There was a click, and he was gone.

“What happened?” Fozzie asked.

“I think Hopper came,” Kermit said nervously as he quickly began to dial.

Rowlf He was right, too. end Rowlf​

 

[TogetherAgain]

Announcer: We interrupt this program for something completely different. Yes, Mr. Director, I know that's not what the script says. I don't really care.

(screen fills with static and clears to show Scooter standing in front of the Muppet Boarding House)

Scooter: Hi, I'm Scooter. The Muppets and I need your help. I can't really give you details, but we need ideas for a fan letter that some one would send to us. Specifically, to Kermit. But it needs to be a letter praising as many of us as possible.

(Fozzie comes on and knocks Scooter off screen)

Fozzie: Yeah, so if you have any ideas of some key phrases to describe us, or a general idea of how a fan letter would look, could you please tell us? We don't get much fan mail to base it off of. Oh, and don't take any suggestions from Statler and Waldorf, okay?

(Gonzo grabs the camera and turns it towards him)

Gonzo: Now here's the rules! We can't use any one person's letter in full, but we could use a couple of full letters. We'll take bits and pieces of whatever we get and combine them all. Or at least the good ones.

(Pepe walks on screen)

Pepe: Si, the bad ones we will save and use as blackmail, hokay.

Gonzo: I thought we were going to burn the bad ones in my next stunt.

Pepe: That too.

Miss Piggy (off screen): Hey! Why am moi not being filmed?

(the camera shakes around and falls, so all we see is grass for a few seconds. Then Floyd picks it up and turns it so we can see him. We hear fight sounds in the back ground.)

Floyd: Anyways, if you can help us out, send a private message to TogetherAgain. Remember, key phrases singin' our praises. Thanks for the help, guys.

(screen fills with static again.)

Announcer: We now return you to that other thing. What? ...You know what, Mr. Director? I've just about had it with you!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Gosh, nobody's sent me a private message about a muppet fan letter.

vim: Do you think none of them can think of something that could go in a muppet fan letter?

Are you kidding? With a board full obsessed muppet fans?

vim: Well then, maybe nobody's reading this thread anymore.

I wouldn't be surprised. Doesn't really say much for my commentary, does it?

vim: It says a lot for your commentary, just nothing good.

You know vim, I think you've been spending too much time with Statler and Waldorf.

 

[The Count]

Speaking of Doc Hopper... Here Lisa examines what would've happened if Kermit's old nemesis continued his insistance on dragging the frog into a life of tawdry commercials, going so far as to have a scary effect on the next generation of Hoppers and Frogs.

36 heart-stabbing tall tales.