Chapter Seven
Robin quietly concealed himself in some swamp grasses. Slipping away from his brothers and cousins without being noticed had not been an easy task, but he needed a talk with his uncle, frog to frog. He was no tadpole anymore; he was a full five years old. Practically an adult! And he was the
only frog his age to venture so far out of the swamp. So if he wanted to talk to his uncle, frog to frog, he had just as much of a right to it as any grown-up.
But in the swamp, frog to frog time was tough to get. So Robin was hiding here in these grasses, waiting for his uncle to walk past. It wouldn’t be long. His uncle was walking around the pond right now, and would pass this spot any minute.
Robin quietly watched as Kermit walked past, looking at the pond, entirely oblivious to the little frog hiding in the grass.
Quietly, carefully, Robin emerged from the grasses, carefully placing each flipper to step as quietly as possible. Sneaking was fun. He was right behind his uncle now, and still undetected. How long could he keep this up? He slipped up to walk beside his uncle, paying such close attention to placing each flipper quietly that he didn’t even realize he instinctively took his uncle’s hand. But he heard Kermit make a pleased sort of sound and felt a light squeeze on his hand that meant he’d been discovered. He looked up. “Hi Uncle Kermit,” he said quietly.
Kermit looked down at him and smiled back—but it wasn’t a real smile. “Hi-ho, Robin.”
“Is something bad happening?” Robin asked.
Kermit frowned. “Uh—Why do you ask?”
That meant ‘yes,’ Robin decided. “Because all the grown-ups are acting funny. And you’re not happy,” he said. “What happened?”
Kermit sighed, glanced at the pond, and looked at his flippers. “Well— …You know that Piggy is out of town, right?”
“Yup!” Robin said. “She’s on vacation to help a friend.
“That— …That’s what she said,” Kermit said quietly. “But—she said, um… She’s gonna be gone a little longer than she thought she would. And—And when she comes back, she’s bringing someone else with her.”
“…Oh,” Robin said. “That’s it?”
“…Well— …That’s all that—Piggy told me.”
Robin looked up at the dodgy look on his uncle’s face. “What did someone
else tell you?” he asked.
“Ah—“ Kermit shrugged and sighed. “…There’s— …some tabloid rumors, about her.”
“Oh,” Robin said. “And tabloids tell lies. Right, Uncle Kermit?”
“Well— …Quite often, yes,” Kermit said. “But—not always, and— …They might be right this time. They have a picture…”
“Of what?” Robin asked.
“Um—“ Kermit cleared his throat. “It, uh—It’s a picture of, um— …The picture makes it look like she’s going to have a baby.”
Robin frowned up at his uncle. “…Does she have eggs?”
Kermit did a double take. “Uh—“
“How do you know they’re her eggs?”
Kermit cleared his throat. “Ah—it’s not—eggs, Robin. Pigs—don’t have eggs.”
Robin thought about this, carefully placing his flippers as they walked. “…Then how would she have a baby?” he asked.
Kermit gulped. “Uh—well—…Pigs, um… Er—“
Robin looked up to Kermit.
“…Well— …She would, um— …She would carry the baby, um—inside of her.”
Again, Robin thought long and hard about this. “…Like a kangaroo?”
Kermit did another double take. “Wha—kangaroo?” He stopped walking.
“Kangaroos have a pouch, and they carry the baby inside,” Robin importantly explained to his uncle. “Is Piggy like that, too?”
Kermit shook his head. “Er—no, um…” He cleared his throat and sat down. “Um—How can I explain this. Um—
If…
If Piggy was, um—going to have a baby, then um—she would be pregnant. The baby would be, uh—
inside of her, um—belly.”
Robin sat down next to his uncle. “
In her
belly?” he repeated.
Kermit nodded. “Er—yeah, um… in her belly.”
Robin considered this, thoughtfully looking at his own abdomen for a long time. He looked at his uncle. “How does the baby get
out?”
Kermit stared at his nephew for a moment. He slowly scrunched his face and began to squirm. “Um… Let’s—not worry about that right now, okay?” he said quickly, shifting his weight. “All that, uh—we
really need to know is that, um—Piggy—will come home later than she thought she would, she’s bringing someone else with her, and the tabloids think she’s going to have a baby. Okay?”
Robin tilted his head, staring up at his uncle. “…And that’s why you’re upset?” he asked.
“Um—“ Kermit shifted his weight and sighed heavily. “…Yes, Robin,” he said. “That’s why I’m upset.”
“…Oh,” Robin said. He thought for a moment, and then gave his uncle a hug. “Don’t worry, Uncle Kermit. Miss Piggy won’t stay away
too long. I think she misses us, too.”
Kermit smiled a wry sort of smile and hugged his nephew. “She just might,” he said.
“And tabloids
like to lie about Miss Piggy,” Robin said. “
You say they do it a
lot.”
“…That’s true,” Kermit said quietly.
Robin picked his head up and looked at his uncle, frowning. “…But Uncle Kermit?” he said.
Kermit sighed. “Yes, Robin?” he said.
“How would the baby get
out of Piggy’s belly?” Robin asked again, a little more insistent this time.
Kermit scrunched his face. “I should’ve just told you about the stork.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Here is a Muppet Newsflash!”
The Muppet Newsman came running onscreen and sat behind his desk.
“It has been reported that—“ He looked at his hands. They were empty. He’d forgotten his papers! He looked at the camera. “One moment,
please,” he said, and he shot off screen.
For a moment, his empty desk and chair faced the camera.
The Muppet Newsman ran back on screen, this time with papers in hand. “It has been reported that—“
“Cut! Time’s up!” someone called.
“What?” the Newsman cried, flabbergasted, turning to someone off-screen. “You can’t do that! My news report! I didn’t get to fin—“
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