Chapter 15
Kermit took a breath and opened up the O in the sign and announced “It’s the Muppet Show with our very special guest stars: the Muppets from Sesame Street and Fraggle Rock. Yaaaayyy!”
The sign slid up into the air as the red curtain behind it parted and those not serving concessions or doing the other odd jobs performed their choreography perfectly while singing:
“It's time to play the music,
It's time to light the lights,
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight,”
“It's time to put on makeup,
It's time to dress up right,
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight,”
Statler and Waldorf had agreed, no, had insisted that they take their usual spot in the theme song as well. The audience turned in shock as their voices reverberated from the balcony.
“Why do we always come here?
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show”
“And now lets get things started”
“Why don't you get things started,” Statler and Waldorf called for the audience to realize this was their part in the song.
“It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational, this is what we call the Muppet Show!”
The logo slid down over the arches from the ceiling with Gonzo poised with the trumpet, determined to blow the final note correctly this time. He gently pursed his lips and blew with enthusiasm into the trumpet. Along with the proper note a shower of confetti rained down upon the audience in celebration. Gonzo smiled and laughed triumphantly as the curtain closed on them to set the stage for the first act and Kermit to address the audience.
“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and Welcome to the Muppet Show! We have got a wonderful reunion show for you tonight and you are in for a special treat because not only are we giving you three hours of Muppets, our friends from Sesame Street and Fraggle Rock that you’ve been watching this week on our station KMUP, have come to join us.”
Kermit waited for the applause from the sold out house to die down before continuing.
“I want to thank all of the grandparents here in the room and at home for keeping the spirit of our founder Jim Henson alive in the times of trouble that we are now past and without further ado I give you Mahna Mahna for the next generations to enjoy!”
Kermit slid off the stage as the curtain opened to reveal Mahna Mahna himself with his friends the Snowths.
“Mahna, mahna.”
“Do, do, do, do, do”
The Snowths and Mahna Mahna continued to scat as Kermit stood at his desk backstage amidst the chaos that was the show.
“Oh, I don’t know why she won’t let me alter this old dress. She’s going to bust out of it during the number” Hilda complained as she hurried towards Miss Piggy’s dressing room.
Mahna Mahna made his way backstage to exit as Kermit called for the next number to get ready.
“I’ll never be able to get to sleep tonight,” complained Waldorf as the number came to a close.
“Why’s that?” Statler asked.
“I’ve been trying to get that song out of my head since the last time!”
“Doh, ho, ho,” they collapsed against each other in fits of laughter as Kermit came back out onto the stage.
“Now I’d like to introduce you to just one of our many guest stars of the evening, The Count and his friend bats!”
The curtain pulled back to reveal a castle drawing room with many bats lounging around the rooms as bats do.
“In old Transylvania, when I was a lad
Our castle was poor, but we never were sad
We learned to be happy!
We’d dance ‘round the hall
And learning to count was the key to it all
By counting each count, I knew just where to start
And one special step has stayed close to my heart”
The Count began to waltz passionately around the room.
“One, two, three, spread out the cape
One, two, three, twirl ‘round the floor
One, two, three, left foot you swing
One, two, three, then start to sing
One, two, three, loud as you please!
One, two, three, counting with ease!
One, two, three, doing the batty bat! “
The bats that were lounging now started to sway back and forth with the beat and opened their eyes to chime in “Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!”
“One, two, three, count!”
“Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!”
“One, two, three, count!”
“Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!”
“One, two, three, count!
Won’t you dance with me, doing the batty bat?”
The Count paused in the song to reminisce, “Ah, my happy childhood in the Carpathian mountains! How well I remember!”
“So now, in my own castle, I can enjoy
This wonderful dance that I learned as a boy
I see just how wise was my whole family
They taught me to count, and so now look at me!
I’m counting and dancing, and I swear that it’s true ...
If you do the same, you will be happy, too!”
“Come! We try again!”
Now small children left their seats to dance in the aisles like the Count.
“One, two, three, spread out the cape
One, two, three, twirl ‘round the floor
One, two, three, left foot you swing
One, two, three, then start to sing
One, two, three, loud as you please!
One, two, three, counting with ease!
One, two, three, doing the batty bat!”
“Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!”
“One, two, three, count!”
“Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!”
“One, two, three, count!”
“Batty, batty bat; batty bat; batty bat; batty bat!”
“One, two, three, count!
Won’t you dance with me, doing the batty bat?
Won’t you dance with me, doing the batty bat?”
“Ha, ha, ha” the Count laughed with pleasure at the end and as the Electric Mayhem and Clifford working the lights expertly recreated the lightning that would have accompanied the end of the song on Sesame Street.
The curtain closed around him and Kermit looked out carefully to see some small children returning to their seats from dancing in the aisles. With such a large crew backstage it took much less time than usual to change the stage to the Pigs in Space set and soon Link Hogthrob was regaling the audience with the latest predicament of the crew.
As Miss Piggy came off stage still fuming from the skit, the sets changed quickly again to reveal Muppet labs and Bunsen putting Beaker through his paces with their latest invention - edible cellular phones.
Kermit laughed to himself as Beaker came off stage breathing fire and vibrating then headed out front to introduce the next guest stars.