A Heart of Gold

[theprawncracker]

...You win this round other half!

 

[The Count]

*Shakes fist at Prawn and Toga post-fest!

Mrs. Pepper's the hatrack, or didn't you get the memo?
And you promised your story would be posted yesterday when you returned Prawn! We're holding you to that promise!
More sto-ree! Sto-ree!

Come on, I even posted another segment of mine, so post yours... Now! Soon! Erishkibbible!

 

[theprawncracker]

What?! I so did NOT promise that! (At least I hope I didn't.)

 

[The Count]

You did so promise that Prawn! Go back to Trip and check your last post there, the one with the snipet of the story. You said it there, the new story would be posted this Monday, the 19th, when you got back from your mini-vacation.
*Uncle Deadly sends a jolt of blue lightning at Ryan, followed by a thunderstrike from the Count.

*Sniff, you haven't even checked my own new fictionish venture.

 

[theprawncracker]

*ahem* Even though I may be jolted. I have proof that I never said that.

-my next fan-fiction, ariving to the forum before the end of March!

See? And as for your new one Ed, I'm getting there as we speak.

 

[The Count]

That may be... But you also said...
Posted by duke of chutney: "See you on Monday!"
And it's certainly well before the end of March... So get posting!
Uncle D, lock him in that room of his if you have to, we need this story posted post-haste!

UD: With pleasure! He'll have a tomb with no view!
*Cackles while slamming the door shut behind Ryan, closing him off from the rest of the living world so the story gets posted.

 

[theprawncracker]

*in room* Dang.

 

[The Count]

UD: Fear not Ryan my boy... Got these from the pie fight over in the RHLC.
*Slides Boston Screamand 4 and 20 Blackberry pies in their boxes under the door.

*Note: As of this post, for the moment, I'm 1500 posts mo' away from knocking out Bo!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Chapter Forty-Seven

"How the heck did you get all this stuff so quickly?" Kermit asked.

Miss Piggy giggled as she leaned against the back of his chair at the kitchen table, letting one hand settle on his shoulder. "I have my ways," she smiled happily.

"Well, can 'your ways' narrow the options a little?" he sighed. He lifted one of the many brochures she had spread before him and eyed it suspiciously. "We are not getting married in Spain," he said.

"Oh, silly!" she giggled. "That's for the honeymoon! Just an option, Mon Capitan."

"Oh, thank goodness!" he said. He looked over the piles before setting the brochure down. "Is there some sort of organizational system here that I'm not seeing? Or is everything just sort of everywhere?"

"It's alphabetical, Kermie," she said sweetly. She plucked the brochure out of his hands and set it between two others. "This goes here," she said.

He looked at her. "Last I checked, M doesn't go between H and C."

"Alphabetical by category," she clarified.

"Oh, I see. Good," Kermit said. "For a second there, I thought I was going crazy."

"Going?" Gonzo asked.

"Oh, like you can talk," Rizzo said.

"Si, but jou room wit' him, hokay?" Pepe said.

"Yeah, but-"

"By choice," Gonzo added.

Rizzo looked back and forth between them. "Well, yeah, but, uh... Well, but Pepe, you tried to do an act with an elephant!"

"Si, what's de problem dere, hokay? He didn't know when I took more den half de pay check."

"How 'bout the fact that he didn't have any talent?" Rizzo said.

"Minor details, hokay? Hand besides, nobody here gots de talents, hokay?"

Miss Piggy loudly cleared her throat.

Pepe looked at her, then back at Rizzo. "Si, like I said, hokay? Nobody here gots de talents."

"Watch your step, Pepe," Kermit said absently as he stared at the brochures.

"Hey, I ate a rubber tire to the tune of 'Flight of the Bumblebee.' That’s talent!" Gonzo declared triumphantly.

"Gonzo," Rizzo said, putting his hand on the weirdo's back, "Explain to me one more time- How is that talent?"

Gonzo hesitated. "I kept it down," he explained.

"Oh," Rizzo said. "Well dat's nuthing. You shoulda seen the time I ate ten hot dogs in one sittin' -WHOO, dat was bad!"

Miss Piggy gave him a look.

"Ten hot dogs?" Floyd said. "Man, that ain't nothing! One time Animal got into the bakery down the street? Oh man, there was NOTHING left!"

"Fer sure," Janice said. "And like, we had to pay fer it all, and it was rully expensive..."

"GOOD BREAD! GOOD BREAD!" Animal shouted.

"Hey, I remember that!" Fozzie said. "That bakery went out of business, didn't it?"

"Yup," Kermit said. "And it's a shame, too. They used to have really good fly-bread."

Miss Piggy made a funny face, but Robin hopped excitedly. "I loved that bread!" he said excitedly. "It was almost as good as Grandma's!"

"I think Grandma puts a few lightning bugs in," Kermit said absently as he examined the mass of brochures that didn't seem to be getting any smaller. "But if anyone asks, I have no idea."

The doorbell rang. "I got it!" Scooter called, and no one paid much mind.

Kermit sighed at the brochures. "Piggy?" he asked. "How much of this do I really have to decide?"

She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh, Kermie," she said, sliding herself close to him. "At least help moi pick the colors?"

"Colors?" He looked up at her meekly and gulped. "Weddings have colors?"

"Of course they do, Kermie!" she said merrily. "Vous have thousands of brothers and sisters, and most of them have been married- didn't vous pay attention to their weddings?"

Kermit shifted his weight. "Well... They didn't do it up all big and fancy... White tablecloths and such don't last too long in the swamp."

She brushed past it. "Well, every wedding should have colors," she said. "What should ours be, Kermie?"

"Do they have to match?" Kermit asked. "I never was good at that sort of thing..."

"Is that why you don't wear clothes?" Rowlf asked in his usual laughable manner.

Kermit grinned. "You mean clothes have to match, too?" he joked.

"Oh, brother," Miss Piggy sighed. "Never mind, Kermie, moi can pick the colors, but- vous can pick the music!"

"Music! Now there’s something I know!" Kermit said triumphantly.

"Good!" Miss Piggy gushed. She reached over most of the brochures and grabbed the biggest stack. "Here's the brochures moi found. There's more, if vous would like, but moi thought we should start with these."

Kermit stared at the pile and felt himself sink down into his chair. "Oh, sheesh..."

Rowlf looked over the stack once and turned to his amphibian friend. "Thank you," he said, "For reminding me why I decided to never get married."

"Count your blessings, Rowlf," Kermit said. "I'll count mine." He leafed through the stack. "One, two, three, four, five, six..."

Fozzie tilted his head. "Those are blessings?"

"Only the ones that turn out to be really bad," Kermit explained. "Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven..."

Fozzie hesitated. "Kermit?" he said. "How are the bad ones blessings?"

Kermit looked at him. "Because they narrow the field," he said. He looked at the stack. "What number was I on?"

Fozzie shrugged. "Beats me."

"Oh good grief..."

"Boss?" Scooter said, poking his head into the kitchen. "There's someone here to see you."

"It's not Scribbler, is it?" Kermit said without looking up.

"No, he was all ready here. Sweetums took care of him," the go-fer explained. "I've never seen this guy before. But he-"

"Oh good! Then send him in!" Kermit said, eagerly pushing the stack of brochures away. "Saved by the bell."

 

[theprawncracker]

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW CHAPTER!!! GONZO HEAVY CHAPTER!!! RIZZO AND PEPE HEAVY CHAPTER!!!! FLOYD HEAVY CHAPTER!!! *bounces ever so much!* But WHO is the guy?! *GLOMP!!* MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!