Motocross Mix-Up

[Misskermie]

I think I know wgere they're going... And im certain piggy wont like it!

 

[The Count]

Ah know yer out there Gina, so post an update...

 

[Misskermie]

Update sez Jaz.
And EVERYONE ELSE!
Pretty please?

 

[WebMistressGina]

Ah know yer out there Gina, so post an update...

Oy, I'll get to it!

Update sez Jaz.
And EVERYONE ELSE!
Pretty please?

Oy! Said I'll get to it Hold yer horses. I gotta make like, you know, I'm actually working here and I usually am, but you know. Look, let me conjure something during lunch or something

 

[WebMistressGina]

See? Told ya I'd get to it. Here's the ending to chapter 3 and the beginning of Chapter 4.


Los Angeles was one of the largest and most populated cities within the state of California. With a population nearing the four million mark, the city of LA was a perfect to hide or to be hidden.

Of course, for many who traveled to that of the state of California, trying to hide was exactly the opposite of what they wanted to do. Royce La Chance, for instance, had no problems wanting to hide from anyone, despite the troubles he may have caused in his hometown of Detroit or that of New York. No, La Chance enjoyed the spotlight and enjoyed the attention, hence why he moved to LA in the first place.

However, in his current predicament, he wished he was in some no name city in some forgotten state. Currently, La Chance was stalking around his Downtown LA high-rise loft apartment, trying to figure out his next move. The opportunity that he’d had over the weekend had not gone the way he had wanted and he was growing increasingly incensed by it.

It was bad enough that he lost the kid who not only helped him steal the very priceless Rheingold Ruby, but the boy could identify him and the others and certainly, the blonde had been watching the news and knew that at two of his friends had been ‘taken care of’. That meant the kid was probably halfway across state lines by now and La Chance didn’t have the time to investigate.

That was the other problem.

While La Chance was annoyed that he couldn’t get his hands on that kid, the worst part was that the ruby was stuck in some Muppet’s bike and Royce couldn’t get his hands on it. He certainly hadn’t expected that pig to clock him nor had he foreseen the huge brawl that they would get into, which resulted in a trip to the county lock up. That had almost spelled his doom right there, but luckily – having never been caught and thus booked – his prints weren’t on file with the police.

But apparently those two Muppets’ prints had been. He certainly couldn’t hang around waiting for them to be bailed out – if they ever were – so he needed to take other action. He had put up such a scene in being ‘viciously’ attacked, that he needed to keep up the premise; that meant going to a lawyer friend of his and insisting that he draw up the restraining order and legal papers to haul the Muppets’ into court.

It was an ill-advised plan, even he knew it, but it was the only way he could think of when it came to getting that blue creature’s bike in his possession. He only hoped he hadn’t been suspicious and had taken a look in the gas tank where the ruby was. Royce was the kind of person who liked to know who he was dealing with on any given basis; his partnership was the only time in which the score had outweighed any type of thought in knowing who he had with him.

That had obviously cost him.

No, this time, he went all out and luckily he had the means to dig a bit deeper than most.
On the surface, he knew that there wasn’t anyone in the world – unless they lived in a cave or under a rock – that didn’t know who the Muppets were. Everyone seemed to know Miss Piggy and a few were even more familiar at least with the antics of the Great Gonzo; their public personas managed to cover their personal ones and it was their personal ones that La Chance was interested in.

Learning that these two were no strangers to the law – they seemed to know everyone in county by name – La Chance did some checking and did indeed find rap sheets for both and in different states, too. The pig was as tough as she showed, seemingly getting into altercations in the boring state of Iowa, while the weirdo was officially declared a public nuisance in Wisconsin, Montana, and Illinois.

If the two were reckless apart, it was nothing when they were together. Just recently, the two had been booked with the rest of the Muppets for putting on an illegal award ceremony downtown and were apparently ordered to stay away from celebrity Jack Black in order to drop a kidnapping and hostage charge.

La Chance had known of the Muppets, but he had never seen their shows or movies. Frankly, he thought the entire group beneath him and that of the posh establishment that was Hollywood and Beverly Hills; he hadn’t been happy to learn that the pig was living with a frog in a nice mansion somewhere in Beverly Hills and that the weirdo was located somewhere nice too.

Society obviously had no taste what so ever in entertainment.

The problem that La Chance now faced was a backlog of cases in the court system, meaning that if these Muppet things were to challenge his assault charges, the case could just sit in the system for years, meaning that he wouldn’t be able to turn a profit on the ruby if he couldn’t get his hands on it. And it sounded as that what would happen; nearly thirty minutes had gone by since he received a text message from his lawyer friend, informing him that the Muppets were disputing the assault and it sounded to him as though they might actually be considering a countersuit for assault against him.

When did burglary get so complicated?

Back in the day, he could waltz right in and take whatever he wanted without punishment; now, there were laws and court proceedings and counter proceedings…quite frankly, it was getting ridiculous. And it reminded what he used to do to those that stood in his way.

Stopping his furious walk across polished floors, La Chance let out a deep sigh. He was getting worked up over nothing; he was Royce La Chance! When he wanted something, he took it and nothing stood in his way! Why then was he frantically pacing the floor worrying about a bunch of half pint farm animals when he could just take what he wanted?

A slow smile began to spread on his face.

It was simple, so very simple.

He needed to find that blue Muppet thing and get his ruby. Then he was going to kill him.

He would then find the pig and kill her just because no two-bit piece of bacon was going to hit him and get away with it. Maybe he’d add frog legs to his ham sandwich when he was done.

Then, he was going to find that Smythe and teach him a good lesson about what happens to people who run from him.

With a plan in hand, La Chance moved from his spot to that of the leather couch situated in his living room; picking up his pint sized smartphone, he started making calls.

He needed information and he needed it now.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Chapter IV


In life, there are people who are constantly complaining about how unfair their lives are. Regardless of whether or not their lives actually have great merit, these people will complain, loudly, to anyone in earshot and to anyone that will listen. Even those that won’t listen.

And then there are people who, when things don’t go their way, will also complain, stating that conspiracies are happening all around them and that their situation is the worst they have ever been in, despite either being in worst situations or never being in horrible situations in their lives.

And then there was Gonzo.

From the moment that he had left Kermit the Frog’s office with a package in hand, he had been going on and on and on about how the frog obviously had it out for them and there must some sort of ulterior motive for him to be sending them to New York on very short notice and without a word or clue as to what this particular package contained and why it was so important that it be hand delivered.

And Piggy had to listen to it all.

From the theater, to their cars, even at home where Gonzo made sure to call both her cell and the house number when she didn’t answer the first three times he tried; in the car on the way to the airport, in the airport, through airport security, while waiting for their flight, on the plane for the five hours and forty-seven minutes that it took to fly there, and then in reverse order until they arrived at their hotel for the night.

And even that didn’t stop him because once he realized that she wasn’t opening the door no matter how many times he knocked, he called – both on her cell and that of her room phone.

“I am about two seconds from throwing you out the window,” she had growled, when she had finally picked up on his third call to the room. “Unless you are dying and need me to call 911, whatever conversation you want to have with me, I don’t care.”

“But don’t you think…?”

“No,” she interrupted. “No, I don’t. I however think you have become annoying in your old age and I only can think that your senility is what’s causing this. Now Gonzo, I have listened to you talk all day and I want to have the next three hours of peace and quiet. I’m serious; if you even think about talking to me, I’m going to pull your bottom lip over your head.

“And before you ask, I don’t even want to have breakfast with you tomorrow morning. If you so much as even look at me, I will hurt you and you know I can hurt you real badly.”

The silence on the other end pretty much told her that Gonzo was at least now carefully debating about what he was going to say next.

“Well,” he said, slowly. “I guess I’ll say good night then.”

“You do that,” she said, hanging up and hoping she would get the peace she had wanted since leaving her home.

Miracles of miracles, not only did Gonzo manage to leave her alone for the night, he didn’t come to suggest that they had breakfast. He was waiting outside her door when she emerged however, wearing a nicely cut tan leather jacket, shades, and a short cap that covered those honey blonde locks of hers.

“I see you have on your ‘I don’t know you’ disguise,” he quipped, standing from the seated position he had taken so he could play a video game on his phone.

“Did I give you permission to talk?”

“No, your majesty,” he replied, but I thought it important to say one last thing before you cut my tongue out for speaking out of turn.”

“Don’t tempt me,” she huffed. “That’s a perfectly good butter knife in my room should I chose to use it. Got that package?”

Said package sat on the floor next to Gonzo’s feet where he placed it as he sat down. Looking at Piggy, he kicked the box once to show that it was indeed outside.

“Don’t do that,” she chastised. “What if it’s something important? Or worse, some kind of horrible joke bomb that Kermit got Crazy Harry to rig up?”

Instinctively, both Muppets looked at the box before looking around to see if the aforementioned Crazy Harry was anywhere near; certain Muppets could be channeled through thought only and Harry was one of the more dangerous ones.

“First,” Gonzo whispered, still suspiciously looking around. “That’s not funny. And two, if it was dangerous, we would’ve been stopped at airport security.”

“So why are you whispering?”

“You’re whispering, too!”

“Well then why are we both whispering?”

“I dunno,” the weirdo shrugged, speaking in his normal tone. “I thought you wanted to.”

Piggy said nothing, only raised her shades so she could actually look at Gonzo with those piercing blue eyes of hers. Replacing them, she turned and began to walk down the hall towards the elevator. “Hey, wait for me!” he cried after her, snatching up the package and running after her.

 

[The Count]

Okay, thanks for posting this double portion. Unfortunately... You left us still waiting to see where in New York it is pig and weirdo are delivering said package to. And what said package is.
Nice reference to the movie with the restraining order from Jack Black.
Aw, but he has such pretty teeth.
Besides, we believe celebrities aren't a 'people'.

Also, I commend you on the 'I see you have on your 'I Don't Know You' disguise'.

Now could you please post more?

 

[Misskermie]

Oh boy...
Piggy and Gonzo are a surprisingly great comedy duo. More please!

 

[WebMistressGina]

So I was hoping to have this finished before I went to bed, but I just looked at the clock and went yikes! Past my bed time! So here is the continuation of the above and I'll hopefully put up (and finish) the rest tomorrow, kay!?

And Count, I thought you said you knew where they were going


A short cab ride later, Piggy and Gonzo stood at the entrance a quiet and quaint neighborhood. Familiar brownstones that made New York and its cities so popular; the street was fairly clear of litter, though up the street there were several trash cans that lined the sidewalk. This wasn’t the first time that the two had been to this particular neighborhood in New York, though not as many times as their friend and boss Kermit had been. In fact, at one time, he had lived on this very street, so he was well known in the area.

Piggy and Gonzo had never enjoyed coming here nor did they really enjoy those that lived in the neighborhood. Perhaps it was just who they were or maybe there were some age differences between them and those that were normally here; or perhaps it was as Piggy had once noted –

“That guy is crazier than Gonzo.”

“How dare you! No one is crazier than me!”

“Sorry. That guy’s got you beat. There is someone in this world that is crazier than you.”

Gonzo had naturally resented the very idea that there could be someone crazier and zanier than he was, but the last time they had been in the presence of some of the people from this street, he had meekly conceded that there were several residents here who made him look like an amateur.

“Can’t believe Kermit would send us all the way over here,” the weirdo muttered. The two had yet to entered the enter the neighborhood proper; Piggy had been scanning the street ahead of them behind her shades, trying to figure where the most likely place was for someone to pop out at them.

“Knows we hate coming here,” he continued. “He’s well aware of the dangers we face around here.”

“Please,” Piggy huffed. “This is all part of his plan, can’t you see that? This is our punishment, Gonzo. Of course he knows how much we hate coming over here, which is why he purposefully sent us here. Oh, like he couldn’t have sent this Fed Ex or UPS or something, no no. That frog…we don’t give him enough credit for being tricky and underhanded.”

“We don’t give him any credit for doing that.”

“Exactly,” the diva concluded. “Look, let’s just find this guy and get out of here.”

The two began to head into the neighborhood, passing under the familiar green sign that read Sesame Street.

“Where’re we supposed to go?”

“I don’t know!” the diva exclaimed. “What does the box say, Gonzo?”

“It just says Sesame Street!” Gonzo hissed. “And if you keep screaming like that, we’re going to attract attention from people who live here!”

“Oh come on!” she cried. “There’s obviously no one here. Who exactly are we disturbing?”

“Hi!”

As one, the pig and weirdo cried in surprise, turning to their left where a fuzzy red monster had suddenly popped up from one of the stone railings that was outside one of the buildings. “Hey,” the monster replied, bouncing slightly. “Elmo knows you! You're friends of Kermit!”

“Yeah,” Piggy nodded. “Listen, Elmer…”

“Elmo!”

“Whatever. Look, we’re looking for this guy who’s name is on this package,” Gonzo held up the package in order for the monster to see who the recipient was. “Know where we can find him?”

“Sure!” the monster exclaimed, excitedly. “Elmo knows exactly who that is! You can find him at Hooper’s Store. Elmo can take you there.”

“No!” the two Muppets cried.

“Hey kid,” Gonzo said, hastily sticking a hand in first his left pants pocket, then his right, before searching around in his jacket pockets. Finding what he was looking for, he handed out a quarter to the monster.

“Here’s a shiny new quarter! Why don’t you take it and go play in…in…side. Inside. Here you go.”

“Oh boy!” the red monster yelled, taking the free money and hurrying off to where ever he was planning on going.

“Good job, Gonzo,” Piggy smirked. “You realize there’s really no traffic for him to go ‘play’ in, don’t you?”

“Shut up, Piggy.”

Normally, the weirdo would’ve gotten a chop for the nerve, but this time she’d concede to the ridiculous idea. “So we just head to the store and we’re done?” she asked.

“Sure,” Gonzo said, turning back to look at her. “All Kermit wanted us to do was drop it off. We don’t have to stay to see what it is or anything.”

“I thought you wanted to know what was inside.”

“Yeah, well so did I,” he replied. “But now I don’t. Now, I wanna go home, see my girl, and maybe plan out my next act. I don’t want to even remember being here. Now, Piggy my sweet,” he chuckled, turning so that he was walking backwards in order to speak to her.

“If you wanna stay and find out what’s in here, be my guest. I know how much you love spending your time with the folks here on the street. I might even tell Kermit you’ve decided to stay and live amongst them.”

“Think you’re funny, do you?”

“Oh, I know I am, Princess!”

“Why don’t I go back and get that red kid?” she asked, smirking as he stumbled a bit, but managed to keep his balance. “Tell him there were plenty more quarters where that came from.”

“I’ll bet you a quarter that you won’t,” he challenged.

“You better keep your voice down.”

“Why?” he said, stopping to let her catch up. “You’ve been talking loudly too.”

“I’m just saying you’re getting a little rowdy there, Spaz,” she retorted. “Need to simmah down a bit.”

Gonzo gave her a funny look, though there was a smile attached to his face when he did it. “Been spending too much time with that frog,” he quipped. “I think you’re picking up his accent; which in itself is scary. If I hear Kermit speaking in a French accent…”

The conversation was interrupted, loudly, as they both heard someone literally cry out, “Gonzie baby!”

The color in both faces drained as they could hear the rapid approach by the mysterious person. “The one person we were hoping to avoid this entire trip,” Gonzo whispered.

“Is the one person we seem to attract every time we’re here,” Piggy finished.

Both turned to look at the approaching blue furred monster that seemed to be literally running – or skipping – towards them.

“Grover,” the both said.

“Why can’t we ever be greeted by the Count?” Piggy lamented. “Or that big yellow canary?”

“You hate the big yellow canary.”

“I do not,” the diva insisted. “That’s a lie and you know it. I hate that red kid,” she hissed, turning to look back at where they had met said red kid. “I don’t hate the yellow kid. And at least I never hit on him.”

“I didn’t know he was a kid,” the weirdo stressed.

“Good thing that happened when it did, Gonzo,” Piggy whispered. “That kind of thing wouldn’t fly now.”

“It was an honest mistake!” Gonzo whispered back. “With a kid that tall, he should be wearing a sign. ‘Hi, I’m a very tall six year old!’. He should be wearing that every day he steps outside.”

“You know, it’s just dawned on me,” she murmured. “This entire conversation could’ve been spent fleeing in terror.”

Piggy had been correct; while Grover had been making the longer and apparently slow motioned run towards them, Piggy and Gonzo probably had ample time to flee the scene, possibly just throwing said package through the window the store and hurrying back towards civilization as they knew it.

When this very idea came to Gonzo, he let out the only thing that could be said at that moment.

“D’oh!”


And just for clarification - I hate Elmo, love Grover.

 

[Misskermie]

Everyone loves Grover!

And I thought they were going to the swamp!
I didn't think of Sesame Street. Good one!