Motocross Mix-Up

[The Count]

Thank you for posting some story, it's muchly appreciated. Very happy to see the relationship of rivalry between the pig and the weirdo. *Excited to read about the race when it finally happens.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Happy Saturday everyone!

First, very very sorry for the lateness of this fic. Obviously, doing three fics at once - bad idea. But as you can see, I was able to correct my issues with getting the backup back up LOL And I'm on a roll tonight, so you can expect a ton of material here.

This is the start of Chapter 2 (cause I felt that splitting this was better), in which we find out what exactly happened at the race that got Gonzo and Piggy in jail and in Chapter 3, we'll discover what ominous task Kermit has lined up for the jailbirds (and believe me, it's ominous)

Here we go!


Chapter II

Saturday afternoon was looking to be a gorgeous day.

The sun had risen high above the city of Long Beach, where the eleventh annual motocross race was going to take place. Ironically, though called a motocross race, many of those participating didn’t own motocross bikes; that was a standard tradition in the race. The first participants also didn’t have the standard motocross bikes, so the race was done by whatever two-wheeled means the racers had; this made for a unique and often dangerous course of events.

Many of the racers who came down to the event were either local heroes or fans of motocross; a good majority had participated in local events before and were a familiar sight for motocross tournaments and fans. One of these racers was that of Carter Smythe from Pasadena.

Smythe was a blond, blue-eyed young adult who had taken to bikes, both motorized and non-motorized, since he was a child. In fact, if you asked, he would probably say that bikes were the one bright spot in his life; having grown up in an affluent part of the city, Smythe had nonetheless fallen in with a bad crowd and motocross had been the one bright spot in keeping himself out of trouble.

On this day however, trouble seemed to be following him.

A friend of his from his high school days had called up about what should have a simple little robbery. That in itself should have been a signal for Carter to stay away and not look back; however, this friend of his was in trouble himself and Carter had always been loyal to his friends and family, even when he shouldn’t have been.

So Carter had agreed to team up with some of his friend’s friend in order to rob a museum that was on the other side of the highway from Pasadena. The idea had been simple – steal some of the more worthy artifacts and then try selling them on the black market. It seemed like a quick and easy deal, but then again, all of the deals he had ever been in sounded easy, but experience should have taught him by then that they never were.

The group of friends that Carter ended up running with actually included two real life jewel thieves, who had decided to use the ‘hired help’ in order to get their hands on the Rheingold Ruby, which was being featured at that particular museum. The plan had been for the thieves to steal the jewel and then, planting some very good evidence, the jewel thieves would skip out with the most important item, while letting these wayward youths take the fall.

Of course, Carter – nor the other teens and young adults – were aware of this by the time they had actually broken in and took what they thought looked valuable. Carter, either by luck or design, had managed to get his hands on this Rheingold Ruby, but right when the experts had requested it, the police had done a patrol around the building and the group separated.

Now despite all of this and all of his troubles in the past, Carter Smythe was a good kid. Chalking it up to his being older and wiser, Smythe didn’t want the life he had led when he was a teenager; a lot of people had taken chances on him and he didn’t want to fail them, which was why he had planned on taking the jewel to the police and turning himself in.

After he participated in the race of course.

While he knew he probably wouldn’t win, it was the challenge that made him participate and he figured he wouldn’t be able to do so for a very long time. He had taken the ruby with him, putting it in a secure pocket inside his motocross jacket, with the intention of riding off to the first police station he saw.

That plan would’ve worked too, however as soon as he arrived and checked in, Carter had gotten the shock of his life.

There, not more than two feet away from him, was one of the expert jewel thieves that he had accompanied the night of the robbery.

And the two had seen each other.

Carter panicked and rightly so – the jewel thief was a very lean guy, but he had shown the others just how skillful he was, being able to do flips and slide under all the security alarms that the museum had in place. And the blonde was aware that the guy was dangerous; he had of course seen the news that the museum had been robbed and only after asking his friend about these guys was he clued in to the fact that both of these experts were not only experts in jewel thievery, but making sure that people didn’t speak about their jewel thievery.

Carter may have been a bad kid, but he didn’t want to die for it and all of his instincts told him that if this guy caught him with the ruby on him and knew that he planned on turning himself in, along with the ruby, and his accomplices, the boy would never see anything ever again.

The one bright spot in motocross was that pretty much everyone knew who everyone was, however in dealing with these types of charity events, a lot of unknowns would show up too. Carter hated to do it, but he was hoping to at least ditch the ruby and maybe ditch the jewel thief too. Hopefully, when this was over, he could find the guy, get the ruby back, and then turn himself in.

He just needed to find the right person to ditch the jewel with. And that’s when he saw the perfect blue target.

[hr]

Gonzo hadn’t spared any time in getting ready for the race that morning. Being able to run the gambit of being an early morning riser and a night owl meant that he could still be in high spirits even when he hadn’t been to bed. And he felt that way this morning, as though he hadn’t slept a wink, but was raring to go.

He had spent all week tuning and retuning his little beat up bike, polishing it, doing the maintenance on it that he probably should have done years ago when he had still been riding it. But in the end, he knew Jasmine – as he called her – would respond the way she always had, purring like a kitten before jumping out like a tiger.

There was something to be said about the motocross circuit; it seemed that everyone knew each other or knew of each other, making this a more friendly competition than many other races. Of course, the added bonus that he was there made it all the better, as many of the racers had come up to say hello, take pictures with him, or just comment on the fact that he was there.

He had been shining up Jasmine one last time when this blonde kid had come up rather enthusiastically. The kid had been praise, stating that he had seen every stunt that Gonzo had ever done, not to mention that Muppets from Space was by far his very favorite of all the movies. Gonzo, who never turned down a fan for any reason, was more than happy to indulge the kid, speaking about some of the more dangerous or outlandish stunts that he had done in his time.

And the stuntman had been having the best time until he heard the roar of a very familiar engine.

“What is that?” the kid asked, looking around for the sound of what was obviously a very revved motorcycle engine.

“Probably one of the worst mistakes I’ve done recently,” Gonzo muttered, easily pinpointing the black Harley Davidson bike that was coming around the entranceway and towards the participant table.

Both weirdo and blonde adult watched as the rider easily sailed through the arena, crowds parting for her as though they were the Red Sea, and all eyes were on the figure and the bike as it came to an easy spot next to where Gonzo and his bike stood.

The shiny black Harley with the strip of lavender that ran down its sides and ending in the word ‘Princess’ weren’t the only thing that had people entranced; the rider was obviously feminine, if the black body suit hadn’t accentuated the curves to tip everyone off.

“Always have to make an entrance, don’t you?”

Removing the matching black helmet from her head, Miss Piggy did the customary swishing of her blonde locks as camera flashes did a better job at lighting up her entrance than the glaring sun had done.

“When have you ever known Moi to not make an entrance?” was her retort, as she slid of the seat, all the while waving as those who called to her.

Looking her up and down, with an equally appreciative eye, Gonzo asked, “Are you trying to make the other racers crash into each other?”

“I did say I was going to win, did I not?”

Smirking, Gonzo leaned back, “Pig’s got big dreams, as you can see,” he said. “But I think we both know who the winner’s gonna be, right?”

The diva rose one slim eyebrow. “Have you been in the sun too long?” she asked. “You normally don’t start talking to yourself unless you have a concussion.”

“I’m talking to…” Gonzo turned, intent on asking the blonde his name, but was surprised to find that he was gone. “Huh. Where’d he go?”

“Where all your other imaginary friends go, I assume.”

“Just for that,” he quipped. “I’m not gonna let you get out of second place. Then, when you’re assisting me on stage, I’ll call you my second place assistant.”

“It’s cute that you think that,” she replied, walking off towards the sign up tables.

Gonzo never missed an opportunity to watch any woman walk off, so he felt more than in his rights to watch Piggy as she headed back towards signup. Shaking his head, he murmured, “Kermit’s a lucky frog.”

[hr]

Royce La Chance was complex man with a dual personality.

Tanned, handsome, intelligent, La Chance presented himself as a foreign diplomat, who had been a child of foreign diplomats, who was worldly and who seemed to know everything there was to know about several different countries. In reality, La Chance was born in Detroit to a father who worked in the steel mills and a mother who was a waitress.

Presenting himself as a business attaché to several different corporate leaders, La Chance had been a slacker for most of his life until his parent finally kicked him out of the house. Making his way first to New York and then to California, La Chance had redefined himself and he had done that by becoming well adapted at breaking and entering homes.

There wasn’t much in the way of their neighborhood where he grew up in Detroit, however once he made his way to New York, La Chance made his living by becoming a cat burglar and he was good at it. The gymnastics classes that his parents had enrolled him in paid off as he used his skills to climb buildings and open windows; his intelligence made him think of the many ways to get around household pets or children who may have been up in the middle of the night.

He studied Chinese and Japanese philosophies, learning the skills that ninjas used to be silent; he was also deadly. While he had only been caught once, it had been for breaking and entering and not for the murder of five different people. On the surface, La Chance was a very charming and likable individual; women loved him and it wasn’t unheard of for him to involved or bedding several at once. Men respected him and he had made more than enough friends who were high enough in companies to afford him a very good life style.

But at his core, La Chance was a thief and a good one. He was also a deadly one.

Always keeping up on the know when it came to priceless artifacts that would make their way into museums or personal property, La Chance had stumbled on the fact that the Rheingold Ruby was going to be exhibited at one of the local Pasadena museums. Knowing that security and the passing patrol would be too much for him, La Chance did something he rarely did.

He got himself a team.

Unfortunately, this team only consisted of professionals like himself and David Dickens, someone he knew of only by reputation. The rest of the group was rounded out by some small time hoods; however, La Chance knew a perfect set up when it saw one and knew that both he and Dickens could get away with this heist as long as the others got pinned for it.

The job itself had gone smoothly until an unexpected extra patrol car had shown up as they were making their mistake. For the first time in his life, La Chance had made the error of handing off the prize to one of the rookies before making his escape. It had taken him days of bullying, threatening, and getting rid of loose ends before he finally got a name – Carter Smythe.

He had spent all last week trying to hunt down the kid and once he had gotten a name and an address, he planned on finding out where the ruby was and then making sure the kid couldn’t ID him to police. But first, he needed to make his usual appearance at a fundraiser.

Roger Peters, the president of Risen, had discovered that La Chance enjoyed motocross and had invited him to participate one year. That had been two years ago and since then, as a personal favor, La Chance made an appearance for the sake of keeping up appearances.

He of course never expected to see that Smythe kid at the same event.

He had been just as stunned as the blonde was at seeing him and that had been another fatal error. The kid had of course panicked and had taken off somewhere in the crowd, which left La Chance stuck at registration and then being waylaid by one of the sponsors. When he had finally caught up to the blonde, he seemed to be in conversation with one of those Muppet creatures that were so famous in Hollywood.

The appearance of another Muppet had at least distracted some of the crowd, but it hadn’t distracted the blonde; he had taken the arrival of the pig to slip the ruby into the gas tank of the little blue Muppet’s bike before slipping off, thinking he had been unseen.

La Chance was less than thrilled at the secret hiding place, however he was a smart man. An idea was already forming in his head – an accident. He’d run the Muppet off the road and when appropriate, he’d rush to his aid and take the ruby then. And once the ruby was in his possession, he was going to find that Smythe kid and outright kill him.

[hr]

“Good afternoon, racers! Thank you all for coming out for this eleventh year motocross tournament!”

Those in the stands look to number in the thousands, as they were all seated to watch this upcoming race. The president and CEO of the Risen company took his eleventh year turn as emcee for the race, welcoming all those who came out, as well as announcing the racers for the event.

“We are always happy and blown away when so many of you come out to help us celebrate a wonderful day and a wonderful event!” he said. “This year, we are especially fortunate; you all have set a new record! There are twelve thousand and our hundred and twenty-six of you here today!

“We are also fortunate in our racers for this year’s race! Not only do we have two-time winner Bucky Lawson with us today, he is joined by fellow local legends Stewie Gilford and Royce La Chance! These great racers are also being joined by a number of celebrities, whom we are very proud to have in our midst this morning!

“From radio station 102.9 RKOQ, Lawrence ‘Big Mac’ McCarthy!” McCarthy, a rather large individual, sat atop a bike that was dwarfed under him.

“From radio station 94.7 LAPX, Everett Smalls and Rosario ‘Rosie’ Marquez are here!” The two co-host of Last Ride LA waved from their bikes, both done up in the station’s color scheme and with their station’s radio dial on the sides.”

“From the TV show, Crowdsource, Mikey McGee!” McGee, a short rider who sat on a huge motor scooter, waved and posed for the crowd.

“And from stage and screen, two stars of Hollywood’s own The Muppet Show, Miss Piggy and the Great Gonzo!” Both Muppets waved to the crowd, with Piggy blowing her fans kisses and Gonzo giving thumbs up to his fans.

“That’s enough from me,” the president joked. “Why don’t I turn it over to our special announcers today – Mr. Roddy Stiles and Louis Kazagger! Thank you all for coming and let’s have us a great race!”

The crowd went wild, eagerly anticipating a great race with some great racers.

 

[The Count]

*Blinks. *Scrubs off computer screen. *Reads again.

What's this?

What's this, what's this?
New chap for all to see.
Gina, the web's miss.
Posted to everybody's glee.

There's motorcycles revving.
And loud announcers' sound.
Plus the mystery of a jewel heist.
With intrigue all around.

What's this?
Stealing Herbie's plot.
Gina the web's miss.
Has given this story a great lot.

There's a flag waving in the air.
And the scent of fresh fic posted there.
A wager between weirdo and fashionable pig.
Will end in a fight so Muppetly big.

Aaahhh. *Happy sigh.
What! Is! This?!

Yay, thanks for the half-chappy, me ish excitedly jubilant for this.
*Leaves choc cake.

 

[WebMistressGina]

*Blinks. *Scrubs off computer screen. *Reads again.

What's this?

What's this, what's this?
New chap for all to see.
Gina, the web's miss.
Posted to everybody's glee.

Aaahhh. *Happy sigh.
What! Is! This?!

Yay, thanks for the half-chappy, me ish excitedly jubilant for this.
*Leaves choc cake.

This. This right here is the reason you're one of my favorites. And the fact that you recognize the plot point for...IIRC...the original Herbie movie (which is one of the reasons I have loved VW Bugs since I was a kid).

I know I left this on the shelf for a long time, which is sad because I've had this section and the next all written in note form since the idea came to me (like a while ago). And with that...here's more!



“Welcome race fans and thank you to Mr. Peters for that glorious introduction!”

Louis Kazagger, Muppet sportscaster, began. Taking his obligatory spot at an announcing booth, Kazagger was happy to be doing the play by play for this important race, for the sixth time.

Down on the race track itself, the racers were revving their engines, eagerly awaiting for the starter to command that the race begin.

“We look to have a great race today, Lou,” co-announcer Roddy replied. Roddy was one of the local sportscasters for LBJJ Channel seven and like Kazagger, had been asked to be the racing announcer for Risen for a number of years. Both sportscasters had worked together before, but this had been the first time in about two years that they had been reunited to announce for this particular event.

“Indeed we do, Rod,” Kazagger replied. “We’ve got fifteen racers today, representing a wide variety of different specialties to be here this afternoon. We’re about a second away from the whistle being blown and there it is! We have the official start of the eleventh annual Risen motocross!”

“And already, it looks to be a knock down drag out, Louie,” Roddy replied. “Bucky Lawson has slipped to sixth, surprisingly, but it looks like there’s a big rush to the top five!”

“Yes Roddy,” Kazagger replied. “So far, Stewie Gilford has taken the lead, with Rosie Marquez and Chase Robertson taking up second and third places respectively.”

“Coming around the first bin, it looks like the Muppets are going to fight it out for fourth place!” Roddy shouted. “You know, Louie, I had no idea that Miss Piggy was just a biker chick. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a finer body melted into a body suit before.”

“I’m sure Kermit the Frog would appreciate hearing that, Roddy,” Lou joked. “Miss Piggy is indeed a pig of many talents – actress, model, biker, lover, and fighter, the porcine princess has shown the world more than once that she’s not just another pretty face. Let’s take a look.”

While the television stations broadcasting the events switched to a dossier about Miss Piggy, said diva was indeed fighting it out with her Muppet co-star for fourth place. Despite not believing him, Piggy was quite surprised when Gonzo’s beat up managed to keep up with her, both of them trading the fourth position.

La Chance, who was keeping a steady pace behind the two in the customary fifth place, wanted to make sure that he kept this position. Those behind him were of no consequence – with the exception of the Smythe kid, who he thought was in ninth place – his more immediate concern was that of the blue Muppet who had his ruby hidden in his motorbike.

The jewel thief had thought the Muppets were to be easy prey, but that was not the case. La Chance of course didn’t know that not only did these two particular Muppets already have a standing rivalry on this race, but they had been trying to outdo each other for years.

Piggy was able to take the lead as the group went around the second turn, bypassing Gilford, who now trailed her in second. Gonzo for his part had over taken Rosie, who seemed to be having issues with his bike, causing him to fall into thirteenth place. Both Big Mac McCarthy and Mikey McGee had been in the last place positions due to them not choosing bikes that would best leverage their sizes.

There were now twelve racers and Carter found himself in the position of sixth. La Chance was ahead of him, now in fourth, and Carter wasn’t about to try and over take him, despite the fact that he could probably easily make third. Truth be told, the young man was scared; so scared that when the racers approached one of the exits to the street, Carter took it, effectively disqualifying himself and leaving the race down to eleven.

“Louie, did you see that??” Roddy exclaimed. “Folks, young Carter Smythe has just left the track and that of the arena completely! What the deuce?”

“Certainly something to ponder for another time, Rod,” Kazagger nodded. “Folks, if you aren’t here in person, you’re missing one heck of a race out there. Right now, we’ve got a tight race for first, second, third, and fourth place; Miss Piggy has taken a command lead into first, followed by that luminary of lunacy, the Great Gonzo.”

“Following them is that of Royce La Chance in third and Bucky Lawson in fourth,” Roddy commented. “Stewie, Everett, Rosie, Sam Ross, Ryder Marks, Hip Nolan, and The Wiz are keeping with the others. Louie, in case some of our viewers don’t know, Stewie Gilford is a top notch racer, in both motocross and boating, winning several different championships.

“Let’s take a look inside Stewart Gilligan Gilford.”

Back on the track, it was clear that the true race was happening between the racers in first, second, and third place. La Chance had decided that this was taking longer than it should and made a move for dominance; in an illegal move that looked accidental, La Chance had come into the first turn on the third lap low enough to clip the back of Rosie Marquez’ bike, causing the radio personality to spin out, which caused the inevitable crash that took his co-host Everett, Marks, Nolan, and The Wiz out of the competition.

That only left Bucky, Sam Ross, Stewie Gilford, himself, and the Muppets. Ross helped hitting a bump which knocked him into Lawson, knocking them both into the hay bales that stood as barrier on the side. Gilford was far enough behind that La Chance didn’t even bother to worry about him; he only needed to worry about the Muppets.

Revving his engine, he first thought to get around Piggy, however he found the pig to be a competent racer. That of course didn’t necessarily mean that he couldn’t take her. Managing to get alongside her, he tried to push her into one of the barriers as he passed. Piggy, long being a controlled biker, just barely managed to swerve out of his way, but it cost her to third place.
Gonzo was having the time of his life.

The very fact that he was now leader of the pack only enhanced the happiness he was feeling. The whole point of partaking in the race wasn’t really to win it, however his bet with Piggy pushed that honor a bit, but to enjoy himself and have a fun time on a Saturday. Every so often, the weirdo would wonder about his place in the world; this had been especially true when he could see that the group who had all but taken him in and adopted him in a way began to break.

Just when Gonzo thought that his life didn’t have any meaning, he was always reminded that his life was actually pretty perfect, if he was honest with himself. He had a great girlfriend who not only loved him, but understood him unlike any woman he had ever been with or wanted to be with. Along with that, he probably had the best job in the world, even when he could easily put his life on the line when doing it.

And then there were his friends.

The daredevil didn’t think he could have ever asked for better friends than those he worked with. They may not have understood his unique or mysterious tendencies, but they accepted him and they were probably the most loyal, supportive, and protective bunch he would ever meet.

Which would soon be demonstrated by what would happen next.

While Gonzo was loving his leadership status and Piggy was secretly seething that she couldn’t get around this guy, La Chance saw his chance at getting his ruby back. Like Piggy, he was deeply seething that the Smythe child had gotten away, however he had his address and he would take care of him later; the most important thing at this point was that of the ruby and getting it from the strange looking Muppet.

The jewel thief ran into Gonzo, who hadn’t been paying attention and nearly lost control of his bike. Shooting an annoyed look at La Chance, he was better prepared at the next bump, but he had to quickly get his balance as the two began to hit the second turn. A metal fence surrounded the track as a whole, but because it was slightly dilapidated, the track had extra barriers set up.

Except around the second turn.

For whatever reason, the set up crew had neglected to place barriers around this turn that day, which was a shame as several of the fence’s wiring were coming apart at the seams and could be dangerous if someone came close enough to be cut by it.

Which was exactly was La Chance had been waiting for.

His aggressive stance was causing Gonzo to drift closer and closer to the fence in order to avoid him. La Chance faked losing control of his bike, intentionally ramming into Gonzo, which caused him to scrape against the fence and the exposed wiring. Crying out in pain, the daredevil immediately used his left hand to cover his arm, however still expertly able to steer with one hand.

Again, La Chance underestimated his Muppet competitors; Gonzo had done enough stunts on his bike that not only was he able to control it with one hand, but he was also able to give Piggy, who had zoomed up next to him when she had seen what happened, a thumbs up with the hand on his injured arm.

Piggy, for her part, had a personality that was quick to anger; if people thought Kermit could short circuit, his internal fuse lighting when his frustrations level hit the roof, Piggy had him beat because her fuse was always lit, she just needed an excuse to blow up.

In most cases, Piggy’s ire would get up when she didn’t get what she wanted; that was the professional and even personal persona that the diva held with her. It was a part of who Miss Piggy was, as an actress, as a model, and as one of the faces of the Muppets. Privately, Piggy was as loyal as the next Muppet and that loyalty – which had immediately and had always been with Kermit first and foremost – had extended to that of her Muppet co-stars.

And that included Gonzo.

As much as they were completely different in every way, shape, and form, she and Gonzo had perfected the concept of frienemy even better than she and Floyd Pepper had, probably more so. As part of the ‘founding five’ as some outlets called them, she and Gonzo had been together from the very beginning and to be literal, they had basically grown up together, as one could grow up in Hollywood.

And as far as Piggy was concerned, no one was allowed to hurt Gonzo without her express say so and quite frankly, she held a monopoly on exclusively putting the weirdo in pain and that was no one else’s job but hers.

To put it plainly, Miss Piggy was one angry diva and that anger was now focused on Royce La Chance.

La Chance for his part, continued the race as though he hadn’t caused the wrecks of several of his competitors. He was hoping to finish the race and then be suddenly surprised by any injury that the blue Muppet had sustained. Again, La Chance had not counted on Miss Piggy nor on the consequences of angering her.

 

[WebMistressGina]

And here's the penultimate end to this chapter!

Next up - remember at the beginning of this tale, when Kermit said that he had a favor that Gonzo and Piggy were to do for him? We're going to see what that favor is and why the diva and weirdo are not happy about it.

And what about our mystery surrounding the Rheingold Ruby? Well it turns out that the police are looking for that and I think we all know who they might be looking at...


“We are entering the last lap and what an exciting race this has been,” Roddy was saying.

“That’s right, Roddy,” Kazagger commented. “We’ve had some spin outs which has knocked out most of the competition; just before the break, the Great Gonzo barely missed a near crash with Royce La Chance, but managed to stay upright.”

“However it does look at though he may have gotten injured against the fence at the second turn,” Roddy added. “That near miss has placed Gonzo in third, while Miss Piggy and Royce La Chance are clearly battling it out for first place. We’re on the last lap and both are in a fight for first.”

“This race has been going back and forth between these three competitors,” Lou replied. “Neck and neck as they come around the first turn, with Piggy taking a slight lead, but here comes La Chance to gain it back.”

“They’re really toughing it out, Louie,” Roddy said, watching with baited breath. “Coming up on the second turn, both are still neck and neck as they head for the finish line. And….it’s hard to tell from here folks, but it looks as though the Muppets’ Miss Piggy has won this race.”

“Hold the phone, Roddy,” Kazagger interrupted. “It looks like down at the judges’ podium, there’s some sort of decision being made. It could have been a photo finish and yes…” Kazagger turned from the mic as he got a message on the outcome of the race.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he announced. “A complete shocker. It looks as though Royce La Chance is this year’s winner.”

“And it doesn’t look as though Miss Piggy and the Great Gonzo are contesting this decision.”

“Are you blind!?”

Just as Roddy Stiles had predicted, down at the finish line and judges’ table, both Piggy and Gonzo were protesting the win by La Chance. As far as they were concerned and what they knew and saw, Piggy had won the race by at least a nose, not to mention that Gonzo, who was holding his arm tightly in order to stop the bleeding, had nearly been killed thanks to La Chance.

La Chance, who actually didn’t really care if he won or not, was more than happy to play the part of the accidental racer.

“You can’t possibly believe that I ran into him on purpose!” he protested. “As far as I saw, it was his rickety little bike that caused him to run into that fence. He shouldn’t have even entered the race on that thing!”

“Rickety!?” Gonzo exclaimed, clearly insulted. “I’ll have you that bike managed to keep up with you until you decided to cheat!”

“Cheat!?” the jewel thief shouted. “How dare you! You’re just sore because you couldn’t keep up!”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Piggy huffed. “I had you beat fair and square, La Chance! Take it like a man and not the sniveling little baby you’re being now.”

“Isn’t there a barbeque grill you should be on somewhere?”

In another display of complete disregard for his competition, La Chance had made a fatal flaw; Piggy did not take kindly to pig jokes. People who had known her for years avoided joking about pigs, what pigs did, and ultimately, food related to pork. Even if Piggy liked you, she wouldn’t take pig jokes without some biting quip against the person who had said it.

For those that Piggy didn’t like, there would no doubt be pain. And lots of it.

Whether the diva was aware of the helmet in her hand or not, it didn’t stop her from swinging a right hook at the face of Royce La Chance; in hindsight, the blow would’ve hurt anyway, but the addition of a five pound, heavy plastic helmet being swung in the direction of one’s face made for a deeper impact.

The resulting action was to sweep the jewel thief off his feet and landing him hard on the hot pavement below.

“Are you alright?”

Gonzo, who secretly was a bit sympathetic to the plight of the race, nodded. “I’m a heck of a lot better than he is,” he said, nodding to the man who was rolling slightly on the ground. The daredevil had been on the receiving end of enough karate chops to last a lifetime, though he had been lucky enough to get the real deal, without the addition of a weapon.

“Gonzo,” Piggy said, exasperated. “You’re standing there bleeding to death! At least get one of the medics to look at you.”

The weirdo winced, as the throbbing in his arm increased. He would probably need to get another tetanus shot and who knew what this could do to his upcoming juggling scorpions routine.

While Piggy and Gonzo wrestled with the idea of getting some medics, Royce La Chance was feeling getting some feeling back in his face and some cognitive recognition going to his brain. And when his eyes saw the Muppets, they sent a message to his brain, which switch on the red haze he saw when he was really mad and when he was in a murdering mood.

So concerned with Gonzo, neither Muppet was aware of just what they had started until La Chance slamming himself into Piggy, much like a football player taking down the defensive lineman. “Hey!” the weirdo exclaimed, nearly stunned to the spot before he immediately went to defend Piggy.

Not that she really needed it.

“Lou, it looks like a big brawl has started downstairs at the judges’ stage!”

“Roddy, in all my years as a sportscaster, I have never seen such a spectacle.”

“It reminds me of the Hollyfield-Tyson fight; it’s a real brawl down there, folks! And for every little bit of class and femininity that Miss Piggy represents, the pig can throw one heck of a right!”

 

[The Count]

Mmm... So would Royce be the British John Thorndike-type character's counterpart in this? *Knows there were at least two Herbie movies with the jewels hidden in the gas tank.

This guy don't know us vewy well, do he. *

I do recognize what Newsie said about the overuse of "that of" in your writing, you could read and edit after or before posting, it might do you a world of good.
But the race itself was exciting and fun at the same time, so you get another piece of choc cake for completing the chapter tonight. Thanks and hope to read what that favor the frog will call in ends up being.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Mmm... So would Royce be the British John Thorndike-type character's counterpart in this? *Knows there were at least two Herbie movies with the jewels hidden in the gas tank.

No, only because it's been years since I've seen any of the Herbie movies. The idea just occurred to me, but La Chance is way more deadly than the very comical John Thorndike (am I thinking correctly that his character was played by Terry...Jones?? The voice of the snake in Robin Hood (and of course other Disney movies)?)

This guy don't know us vewy well, do he. *

No he does not and as you can see, that cost him.

I do recognize what Newsie said about the overuse of "that of" in your writing, you could read and edit after or before posting, it might do you a world of good.

But the race itself was exciting and fun at the same time, so you get another piece of choc cake for completing the chapter tonight. Thanks and hope to read what that favor the frog will call in ends up being.

Yeah, I think in an effort to get this up as quickly as possible, I end up reading it only after I've posted, which of course isn't good nor like me, as I usually read before posting to ensure that I've gotten any weirdness.

This is probably the case of me trying to stay caught up while ultimately failing behind of course. And sometimes I need to get an idea down before it leaves my head completely.

So as I mentioned earlier, we've now caught up the very beginning, where we find Piggy and Gonzo at LA County lock up. In the next chapter, we'll see what this favor is that Kermit wants done. Hopefully I'll start that today after a nap.

 

[The Count]

Just did a quick Wiki walk to answer your questions...

The voice of Sir Hiss was Thomas Terry ****-Stevens, known as Terry-Thomas.
John Thorndike was portrayed by David Tomlinson, who also portrayed Emelius Browne in Bedknobs and Broomsticks; though his most well-known Disney role is from that sickening movie that will cause me to wretch every single time I hear it mentioned even though we stole their penguin waitors from there.
Wha?! *Holds up a 'Strike!' cue card.
Don't say that around Marvin.
Marvin Suggs: Oh, I would love to strike ze pengawins! *Hits them with his mallets.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Just did a quick Wiki walk to answer your questions...

And I see you've survived.

The voice of Sir Hiss was Thomas Terry ****-Stevens, known as Terry-Thomas.

Thank you! I knew it was Terry something.

John Thorndike was portrayed by David Tomlinson, who also portrayed Emelius Browne in Bedknobs and Broomsticks; though his most well-known Disney role is from that sickening movie that will cause me to wretch every single time I hear it mentioned even though we stole their penguin waitors from there.

Wha??? Are you saying you didn't like Bedknobs and Broomsticks? Which, I don't even know how that's possible when Angela Lansbury was in it. Unless of course you're talking about Mary Poppins, which again I have to ask, what is wrong with you?

Granted, it's not my favorite Disney live action movie, however the very presence of Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke should MAKE it a favorite. It's certainly better than those Lindsay Lohan movies or Hillary Duff and that awful Pocahontas movie, cause I certainly hope you didn't think those better than the previously mentioned awesome movies.

Disney movies aside, as promised, I has chapter 3 right here fer ya!


Chapter III

Oh, those Muppet kids can get into a heap of trouble, can’t they? So now you know what lead up to landing Miss Hamhocks and the Weirdo in jail, but that’s not the end of the story; that’s just the beginning of the trouble the kids got into.

Let’s fast forward back to the present to find out how this all got resolved…

Present

Piggy hadn’t been exactly wrong when she thought she would be taking her punishment the next day. Of course, she wasn’t the one in control as she hoped she would be, but the point of the matter was that she was able to get a reprieve until the next day.

Or so she thought.

Mornings at the home of Kermit and Piggy usually started at six in the morning, when the alarm clock went off. Kermit, who had always been an early riser, technically didn’t really need the alarm clock to go off; he always had the good sense to know when morning had come, but having the extra wakeup call was helpful.

Piggy, who was as equal an early riser as Kermit, didn’t think that getting up that early was warranted; her normal time was between seven and eight in the morning, which still allowed her to be up and ready to go like the rest of the world.

As what normally happened, the alarm began to blare at exactly six o’clock, waking both occupants who happened to be asleep. Kermit was already somewhat awake before the blaring began and didn’t find it difficult at all to reach over his companion to shut it off. The previous night had been a relatively normal one, which had set Piggy’s suspicion meter on high.

Convinced that Kermit was either planning on tossing and turning all night, his annoyance, irritation, and anger at this latest misstep of hers disrupting his sleep, or that she’d be sleeping alone, the diva was quite surprised when Kermit seemed to have no issues in joining her in bed.

Even more curious was the fact she had awoken up with Kermit’s slim green arm slung around her middle, obviously the reward of him cuddling up to her during the night, as they often did in sleep. Rolling on to her back, Piggy was greeted by a kiss, then two then three, which caused her scrunched her face up in annoyance.

“How can you possibly be amorous at six in the morning?” she muttered.

“Cause I happen to wake up next to a beautiful woman every morning,” came his gleeful response, which he peppered with another two kisses on both her cheek and neck.

“Flattery does nothing for me this early,” she groused, pushing him slightly. “Go ‘way.”

“Better be nice to me.”

“I’ll be nice to you in an hour.”

The last thing she heard was his low chuckle before she felt one last parting kiss to her temple.

Precisely one hour and fifteen minutes later, Piggy was up and about, getting ready to start her morning. Walking into the kitchen, she had figured she’d be greeted with by her frog, who was no doubt sitting at the table and probably already through one whole pot of coffee.

However, the diva was surprised when it looked as though she had the house all to herself that morning. That in itself wasn’t that odd; it was a Sunday morning after all and in most cases, there would be a show that night in which the captain and his first mate would need to be on the MSS Insanity in order to make sure things went at least somewhat to plan.

The odd thing today was the fact that there was no show that night; the group had decided to take at least a few weeks off to recharge and come back with even zanier ideas and acts. The last week had been their last show for the season and they weren’t technically scheduled back for at least a month.

Kermit should’ve been home, though Piggy was well aware that the frog was a classic workaholic and certainly with his high consumption of coffee, he was good to go for most of the day, regardless of when he started. Pondering on the fact that she was sure Kermit was at the theater, but not knowing why, she wasn’t all that surprised to see a hastily scratched note attached to the coffee maker.

Mornin’ Sweet Pea, it began, causing the diva to smile at the pet name. The couple weren’t overly into calling each other ‘honey’, ‘sweetie pie’, or anything other couples used for each other, but that was chalked up to the fact that they both regarded the whole pet name as needing to mean something.

Kermit, thanks to his Southern upbringing and own general outlook, took his relationships as seriously as he could and he expected his partner to do the same. Piggy who had as many flirtatious flings as she did real relationships, had always felt the same – that the cutesy names that couples gave to each other were pretty much the carbon copy of what they had probably used on some other randomly passing person.

Despite all of the hurt and heartache they had put each other through, neither Piggy nor Kermit ever wanted to this to be a passing fling.

Mornin’ Sweet Pea, she reread.

As you can see, I’ve left you a nice pot of coffee to replace the one I just injected into my veins (running a little behind today). I’m at theater and kinda need to see you at some point, the earlier the better. Also, if you could make sure Gonzo comes along, that be great. I left him a message, but not sure if he got it.

Thanks!

K

Piggy couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. It wasn’t the method of which he drank his coffee, that was pretty much a given despite any protests that he was no doubt addicted to the caffeine, it was the request to see her and Gonzo that morning. She was sure that it had to be in regards to their indiscretion the night before, which meant he was probably going to them this mysterious favor he wanted them to do.

As intrigued as she was, Piggy didn’t think it could be anything truly bad; after all, it was Kermit and no matter how angry he could get – and she could get the frog pretty angry – at this point, she didn’t think he’d do anything too wild for a punishment.

Besides, he had obviously been in good spirits this morning, so perhaps she could persuade him to forgo the punishment for something a bit more…relaxing. Smirking to herself, the diva removed the note and began to get herself some coffee.

[hr]

Despite the fact that the Muppets were officially off for a time, Muppet Theatre was still very much alive with activity that Sunday morning. If one was honest with themselves, a performer never just took time off; they may have taken breaks from the spotlight for a while, but they never just stop being performers.

With that in mind, acts were none the less at the theatre working on new material in which they could utilize for the next upcoming seasons of the show. Kermit, though reluctant at being the de facto leader and face of the group, never the less took his responsibilities to the group very seriously and that meant needing to be the hard director and producer that he had somehow gotten known for over the years.

That morning, he had known how his day was going to go, despite the events of the previous night. Kermit was in no way happy in the fact that Gonzo and Piggy had once again ended up behind bars; certainly if he had been aware just how many times the two had run across the wrong side of the law, perhaps he would have thought differently in inviting them to join the group.

Not that he really had much of a choice in the matter.

And even then, after he had become aware that both had a rap sheet longer than the LA highway, Kermit knew he probably should have asked them to leave, knowing that if or when they were to get in trouble, they could potentially bring the whole company down. But he hadn’t; whether it was because he thought Gonzo was incredibly optimistic despite the life he had been dealt or because he was so enamored with Piggy or even both, the frog had decided that the two warranted being given the chance he himself wanted.

Of course, in times like this, that decision to keep them both on struck back in the worst way, but after all this time, Kermit was smart enough to know that it wasn’t as though the two were juvenile delinquents, they just happened to let their emotions and tempers get the best of them.

And the frog certainly understood that.

That was why he hadn’t been as angry at the duo had thought he would’ve been; he had been watching the race on TV that day. Of course he would watch anything that had Piggy in it and certainly with what she had left the house with had his attention from the time she showed it to him.

That was why she had arrived late.

But Kermit had seen the race and from what he had seen, he also thought that La Chance person had been driving rather recklessly and aggressively. In the end, Kermit was on their side! Yes, Piggy had been the one to start the fight, but Kermit knew that his girl didn’t just go around starting fights for the heck of it; she always had a reason and that reason was always good.

However, even if the frog believed strongly that the diva and stunt weirdo had been in their rights, he couldn’t just let them off the hook. They knew how the media ran with stories like this and how it wouldn’t do anything to paint them in the best light, so he’d have to show that they weren’t necessarily getting off of an appropriate punishment.

Now of course, appropriate punishment meant different things to different people.

And Kermit felt he had the very thing that would hopefully stay their fists the next time.

Just as he was thinking, a knock on his inner office door broke him from his musings. Calling out to the person, he wasn’t surprised to see Piggy poking her head through the door. “You wanted to see us, Kermie?”

“Yeah, come on in,” he said, standing from the chair he had been sitting in. He waited until Piggy and then Gonzo came through the door, the weirdo closing it behind him for the extra privacy. They were all aware that the theatre had ears and eyes in places that it shouldn’t. “Oh good, you brought Gonzo with you.”

“Try to tone down the enthusiasm, Kermit,” the daredevil joked.

“Being in the same room with you is quite enough to get me enthused, Gonzo,” the frog retorted.

“If the two of you would like to be alone,” Piggy quipped. “I can leave.”

Kermit just chuckled.

“Alright, Frog,” Gonzo started. “You invited us down here on a Sunday morning, on a day in which we don’t have a show, for some favor you haven’t told us about.”

“Would you like to know the favor I’d like you to do?” the frog asked. “Is that what you’re asking?”

“That’s what I love about you, Kermit,” the weirdo said. “Always know what I wanna say.”

“Right.”

Picking up a medium sized package from his desk and then handing it to Gonzo, he said, “That’s my favor. I just need the two of you to deliver that for me.”

“That’s it?” the stuntman chuckled, shaking the box slightly. “That’s easy!”

Gonzo couldn’t believe it. He had been expecting, really expecting, to finally be fired from the Muppets as his punishment. He wasn’t really sure if he thought the same for Piggy, being the director’s girlfriend after all, but he had hoped to get the share of the punishment; Gonzo didn’t want to come between the two of them, especially now.

The weirdo was more than happy to just be regulated to simple delivery boy, until he noticed the address on the package. The smile that had been on his face immediately dropped and he looked quickly at his friend and boss.

“You can’t be serious.”

Curious as to where exactly they needed to be going, which was strange in itself as it was just one package, Piggy snuck a glance at the address adhered to the package before turning her steely blue eyes on Kermit. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding,” she huffed. “We aren’t doing this.”

Expecting a monumental retort in the matter, once again the frog managed to surprise them by just shrugging. “Okay,” he said, once again reaching across this desk, this time to pick up a previously opened letter. “If that’s what you want.” Holding the envelope out to Piggy, he ended with, “I guess I can give this to you then.”

“What is it?” the diva asked suspiciously.

“Open it and find out.”

“It seems to be already opened for me.”

“Of course,” the frog smirked. “I always open mail that comes across my desk. If you don’t like it, you should get your own desk.”

The diva bit back the retort that rested on her tongue, ignoring the fact that whatever this was had been clearly addressed to her, and instead pulled out what looked to be a very large letter. Upon opening it, she quickly scanned the contents, her baby blues narrowing the further down she got.

“See,” Kermit began. “I figured that the two of you probably didn’t want to deal with the enclosed restraining order and the fine that your friend Mr. La Chance is proposing you pay him for the subsequent physical and emotional damage you inflicted on him yesterday, which I’m sure you can see is quite high.

“My thought was that Scooter and I would handle this…nasty little business or rather, Scooter’s lawyers would handle this and hopefully mitigate that down to something along the lines of community service because…I know how much you both enjoy community service. And in exchange, you’d deliver that little package for me.

“But if you’d rather handle this lawsuit thing…”

Kermit had reached for the package that still rested in Gonzo’s hands and wasn’t surprised when the weirdo held it jut out of his reach. He knew he was being a bit underhanded in sending both of them to deliver one package, but again, he needed to show them that he couldn’t be bailing them out every single time they got into trouble.

Shooting a glance at Piggy, Gonzo knew the frog had them this time. As much as they hated going to the place he was sending them, it was a much brighter spot than having to deal with the aftermath of being sued, which both had managed to avoid at all costs. Not that they had ever avoided going to court and neither of them wanted to go down that road again.

“What time is our flight?” the diva muttered.

“Scooter was gracious enough to book it for later this afternoon,” the frog replied, going around the desk and taking a seat. “You’ll want to bring a jacket; I heard it’s rather cool there.”

“Not unlike this room.”

“If you don’t like it, Piggy,” Kermit replied, nonchalantly. “You don’t have to go.”

Gonzo couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at that. “You know,” he said. “Everyone thinks you’re such an upstanding frog and such a nice guy. Oh, if they only knew the true villain that lurks inside your heart, boy, would they be surprised.”

“I do like to mix it up every now and then.” Looking at the two, Kermit pointed to the small clock on the desk. “Tick tock, guys,” he said. “You only have a few hours to pack.”

“We’re going,” hissed Piggy.

“Say hi to everyone for me!” Kermit called behind them, only being answered by the slamming of his office door.




And that is the first half of chapter 3! So where exactly are our dynamic duo heading that requires a coat and that they loathe going to? You'll see...

 

[The Count]

1 Bedknobs and Broomsticks, of corpse it's in my Disney fave cannon, perhaps lost a little by other animated greats, but I remember it well.
2 That other movie you mentioned... Yes, I dislike it with a passion. Which is why I was glad when Barbara Eden as the matriarchial aunt of the Spellman Family in an episode of Sabrina said she always hated it too.
3 No, the Lindsey Lohan Disney movies should be burned. Why is it only her version of The Parent Trap airs any more? People, there's only one Parent Trap, that's the one starring Hayley Mills and Hayley Mills as the two eight-year-old twin protagonists Susan and Sharon. And it's because of Lindsey that noone, I swear, noone but me even remotely remembers the original version of Freaky Friday starring a 13-year-old Jodie Foster!
plunges detonator, causing Ed to explode.

As for Chapter 3...
Thanks for the intro Uncle Jesse.
You're definitely learning from others as demonstrated in the opening between Kermit and Piggy.

The whole pet names thing, that just adds to your impressive studying at the feet or flippers of the fic masters we have here at the forums.

And then we have the package versus the lawsuit. Scooter's lawyers, *chuckles*, another appearance by Sterling Howard in the plans? And by Kerm's comment of "say hi to everyone for me" I kinda know where Piggy and Gonzo are going, but I won't spoil it for anyone else.

Okay, I'm good now, gonna bag and drag it for tonight. Post more when possible please.