Good Sunday, all! Here, for you enjoyment, is the epilogue to the massive Motocross! Mr. Count Mod Guy, would you so happily place this under Miss Piggy's Adventure as story numero dos, por favor! And yes, I'll probably be updating one of the Mondays tomorrow.
Epilogue
The Next Day
Wednesday mornings in most cases saw the Muppet Theater nearly empty and devoid of all regular activity. Sometimes acts would come in to get the final steps down for whatever they planned to show Kermit and Scooter later in the day or the orchestra or Electric Mayhem would use the usual quiet to practice or rock out in the orchestra pit or on stage.
Kermit and Scooter usually held their financial and admin meetings on Wednesdays. While a group of seven sat around the famed Muppet Round Table on Monday mornings, going over the aftermath of the previous night’s show and what – if anything – was needed for the next week’s show, the captain and first mate of the MSS Insanity would use the middle of the week to get their administrative tasks out of the way, such as calling any guest star that was interesting in appearing, looking over finances, and of course trying to manage everything that went on and off stage.
On those Wednesdays, the two would meet for coffee either at their favorite coffee shop or in some cases, at the home that Kermit shared with Piggy. On this particular Wednesday, Kermit had decided he wanted a day to sit and seriously consider whether he would plan to murder two of his cast mates or not.
He was used to some of the stunts that Gonzo and Piggy could pull on a separate basis; having them pull this one had been so unexpected, the frog didn’t know what to do. The whole thing seemed so surreal, that when he had woken up that morning, he had nearly been convinced that they had just filmed one of the best movies they had done to date. In fact, he had gotten out of bed and strolled into the kitchen thinking he was a writing and directing genius.
That’s when he got the phone call from Det. Day.
It turns out that the fantastic script and movie that Kermit thought he had imagined was in reality, a horrible nightmare where he had nearly lost one of his best friends and the love of his life in one night.
The detective had first wanted to ask how everyone was, if Piggy and Gonzo were all right from the night before. On automatic, the frog had given the statement that they were fine, a little shaken, but okay; he didn’t mention that Camilla had been beside herself and had declared she wasn’t planning on letting Gonzo out of her sight, which suited the weirdo just fine.
He also didn’t mention that he had pretty much done the same for Piggy, despite being a bit standoffish when they returned home. He had promised them both he wasn’t going to yell at them until the next morning and he had forced himself to keep that promise, even though his insides were quaking and shaking and he had to tightly clamp down on his feelings of worry and agitation.
It of course didn’t stop him from keeping her close all through the night.
After inquiring about his Muppet co-stars, the detective went to state that La Chance had been formally charged with burglary, kidnapping, and attempted murder; and that was just in the state of California, as murder charges were being put into effect back in the state of New York. Carter Smythe, the only living co-conspirator of the museum heist was set to testify against the man in request for a reduced sentence. Day hoped that the young man wouldn’t spend too much time in prison, as it was clear the blonde was remorseful and repentant and he seemed to have a girl that was willing to stand by him and support him.
There would need to be a trial, of course, and it was Day’s hope that both Gonzo and Piggy would testify against La Chance, starting from their appearance in the race to that of their crazy scheme to catch him themselves. Kermit stated that he would certainly speak with them, though he was fairly sure the two wouldn’t mind finishing out this cloak and dagger adventure of theirs with a trial worthy of Perry Mason.
That was all he needed.
Once reality had reared its ugly head, the frog headed out to the theater, telling his assistant their regularly scheduled meeting was off for the day. If he had hoped to find an empty theater, he was wrong; he could hear the loud strains of music coming from the stage when he walked in and instead made a beeline for his office, closing the door behind him, and literally falling into his chair.
He had stopped to check the mail for both his home and that of the theater, deciding he’d at least read something as he tried to calm himself. He had only been in the office for about thirty minutes and had managed to read about three pieces of mail before someone was knocking on his door. Thinking that Scooter couldn’t take no or a day off when given to him, he immediately called out, “Come in!”
“Bon jour, Mon Cher.”
“Oh, it’s you.”
Piggy sighed, rolling her eyes as she did so. She had known the night before that Kermit hadn’t been happy with her, even if he was happy that she and Gonzo were still alive. He had been all cuddles and kisses once they had returned home, but the diva had been aware that he was holding the big epic angry rant for when he saw her the next day.
Piggy hadn’t thought anything of it when she woke up alone in bed this morning; it was Wednesday and she figured her frog had headed out to talk shop with the boy wonder at breakfast, however when she had texted Scooter to perhaps wrangle a nice iced coffee mocha when they finished, she was told that Kermit had cancelled their normal meeting.
That only meant one thing – Kermit was upset with her.
And if he wasn’t meeting with Scooter and if he wasn’t at home, he could only be in so many places in which he hoped she would equally leave him alone or be able to find him quickly.
Her first stop was the studios, of course, checking to see if perhaps he was in his office on office row. He wasn’t, which meant that he was hiding somewhere in the theater and that would be problematic if he decided not to hide in his office there.
Luckily, Kermit was as predictable as he was nice, and it didn’t take Piggy long to find him and to find him in a mood that she was all too familiar with.
“Moi was going to ask if you were still mad at me,” she stated, walking in and closing the door behind her. “But I can see that you clearly are.”
“I’m not talking to you.”
“Yes,” she continued, walking over to him and leaning a hip against his desk. “I can see that as you continue to speak to me.” This time she didn’t get a reply, as Kermit decided to continue reading through mail, completely ignoring her as he did.
“Kermie, come on,” she cooed. “Everything worked out perfectly, just as Moi said it would. Are you really still mad?”
“No,” he said, sarcastically. “No, of course not. Why on earth would I be mad, when my girlfriend is insistent on trying to kill herself? Now I’m convinced you’re spending too much time with Gonzo; you seem to be picking up his suicidal tendencies!”
“You know,” Piggy said, smiling at him. “You’ve been doing that a lot more lately.”
“What?” he asked, irritated. It was Piggy; he should’ve known that even when he was scolding her, she was scheming against him.
“Calling me your girlfriend.”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“It’s incredibly attractive, you know.”
“I’m busy.”
“No really,” she replied, moving from the desk and siding up next to his chair. “And I’m not just saying that.” Leaning down, she leaned in close, whispering, “You are an incredibly adorable and attractive frog at this moment.”
“Why does Grover think you’re in love with him?”
“Say what?”
Kermit held up the letter he had in his hands, the one he had opened when she had first walked in. “I just received a letter from Grover,” he said. “He writes, and I quote, ‘Froggy baby, I am not sure how to break this to you, my dear green froggy friend, so I will just tell you, though to do so in a letter…’ skipping ahead, ‘that Piggy sweetie of yours has gone from green to blue, meaning she has gone from you to me.
“‘I am so very sorry to be upsetting you like this, but even I – Grover – cannot help the mysticism…’ I’m sure he meant magnetism – ‘that I obviously possess.’ End quote.”
“No,” the diva replied, shaking her head. “No, that’s…that’s not right.”
“Gee Piggy,” Kermit said, leaning back in his chair. “I’m not sure how I should feel about this. First Gonzo and now Grover…I’m sensing some sort of ‘G’ theme here. Not sure if I should be jealous or not.” He thought about that, wondering if this was actually a bad thing or not.
“Jealous better be the first thing on your mind, Frog.”
“Oh yeah, yeah!” he said. “Agh! That Grover, grr. Gonna give him such a talking to when I see him. Gonna beat him up, yes I am.”
“Somehow I doubt your sincerity.”
Kermit smirked, knowing that whatever Grover thought was going on between him and Piggy wasn’t really there, but it did feel good to joke around, especially in light that he may not have gotten this chance.
Feeling a poke in his arm, Kermit spared her a small glance before going back to his letter from the Street.
“Are you really mad, Kermie?”
“Mad is a relative term, I think.”
Huffing, Piggy stood from her perch, again taking a seat on the desk.
“If you think that whatever you plan on doing is going to distract me from finishing my work, you are sadly mistaken.”
“And what,” she asked, crossing one plump leg over the other. “Dear frog, makes you think Moi has any plans on distracting you?”
“Please,” came his own huff. “Vous always has plans on distracting me.”
“I’m glad to see that my near death experience has made you smart.” When she didn’t hear a retort, Piggy found that Kermit was doing his best to read through mail he had probably already read.
Knowing she wasn’t going to get his attention by being a vamp, she had to go with being honest; sliding off the desk, she quickly went around it in order to face him directly.
“Kermit,” she said. “Would it help if Moi said she will probably not do something like this again?”
The frog looked up, staring her down as he did.
“Moi promises to never do this again,” she amended. “In hindsight, it was a pretty stupid idea, but it was done with good intentions.”
“I know, Piggy,” Kermit whispered. “But I don’t want to ever be in the position where I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again. I’ve done that once already and frankly, I didn’t like it very much.”
Piggy smiled, holding down a surprising blush. While they had gotten to a good place in this second chance of theirs, it could still surprise both of them when the other made the kind of declaration that the frog had, which had been a rare occurrence in the past.
“Je suis désolé, Mon Cher,” she said. “Vous savez que je n’ai jamais voulu te contrarier.”
“That was some sort of apology, right?” he asked. He always loved when she spoke French, especially when she seemed to have a better understanding of it now after living there. However, it didn’t mean that he always understood it.
“Cause for all I know, you’ve told me how to make a cheese soufflé or something.”
Smirking, the diva began to make her way towards the door, safe in the knowledge that Kermit wouldn’t be mad at her for long. “I have some errands to run, darling,” she said, placing a hand on the door before turning back to him.
“Are they going to cost me money?”
“I’ll do my best to spare your bank account.”
“You do love me.”
“Keep it up, Frog,” she smirked. “And I might just take Grover up on his offer. Au revoir, Mon Capitan.”
[hr]
Wednesday morning started the way most Wednesday mornings started for the Great Gonzo – snug, safe and sound in his bed.
The night before had been exciting in the most dangerous way and while he may have enjoyed all things exciting and dangerous, the performance artist never wanted a repeat of what he and the diva had done all week. Their cloak and dagger routine had been a little exciting at first, however once Gonzo had been aware of exactly how dangerous this scheme of theirs was, it hadn't been as exciting, especially when La Chance had appeared on his doorstep.
And when the theif had threatened his little chickee, well…
All in all, Gonzo was just happy to be alive and was happy to have his chicken back by his side.
Wednesday mornings in the apartment of Gonzo and Camilla could sometimes start with whatever crazy idea the weirdo may have dreamt the night before or they could start with breakfast. Thankfully, for Camilla at least, it started with breakfast that day and a relatively normal one with that.
“I tell you baby,” Gonzo was saying, putting eggs and bacon on his toast. He had forgone the chili powder, nutmeg, and pistachios and had gone straight for regular scrambled eggs, bacon, and wheat toast. “I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am this morning. I got a good breakfast, I’m alive, and I got a fine set of chicken legs by my side.”
Camilla chuckled, pecking the weirdo on his nose. She had been crazed with worry when she had opened their apartment door and had found their dinner just sitting outside, with no Gonzo to bring them in. She had immediately called him, before calling Piggy, then Kermit, then going another round before calling Scooter.
Thankfully, all was well that ended well, and all the show chicken cared about was that Gonzo was safe and sound and with her.
The sound of an incoming text message caused both to turn slightly towards the noise, but didn’t make any move to see what it was. It was only when a second text came in did Camilla go over to check both phones, before handing Gonzo’s over. She clucked at him, in good humor of course, that her royal highness was trying to reach him, but Gonzo was sure that there was a little irritation in that.
Camilla and Piggy weren’t the best of friends, but they were certainly friendly with each other; there were times however that the two could be at odds with each other and ironically, it was usually because Gonzo was involved. Taking the phone, the weirdo winked at his love, knowing that the diva was treading lightly should she want to request something today.
The Princess: You busy? I need to meet with you.
The Princess: Hello? Are you there or are you ignoring me?
Weirdo: I’m here, not ignoring you, at the moment I’m having breakfast, and I hope whatever it is won’t take long. The wife ain’t too happy with you.
The Princess: Hmm. I’ll owe her lunch. And no, this won’t take long. Please assure Cami that I’ll bring you back in one piece, like I did this time.
Weirdo: Alright. Where to?
[hr]
The hillsides of California provided a serene and quiet atmosphere for those who sought it and knew where to find it. In the spring, summer, and fall, these hills could provide colorful escapes from the city life, thanks to growing grass and the sight of leaves changing.
It was on one of these hills that Miss Piggy had arranged a meeting with her recent crime cohort, the Great Gonzo. Situated behind her own Beverly Hills mansion home, the diva had stumbled upon the hill’s path as part of a bike ride for casual riding and getting away from Kermit and her frustration with him. Once the two had gotten back together, she had shown him the exact path, which led to an overlook of the city and that of Hollywood proper.
Piggy wasn’t one to apologize lightly, but when she did, she made sure it was heartfelt and sincere. Usually, those apologies were made to Kermit for whatever infraction she may have done against him, but every so often she actually needed to apologize to someone else and those were always harder than trying to apologize to her frog.
Regardless of whether or not Kermit would forgive her – he usually did – trying to gauge whether he co-stars would accept an apology was different and sometimes difficult. Oh, she knew Fozzie would never hold a grudge and Janice was so mellow that she was never mad at anything, but there was always that fear that one day she may go a step too far. And if what Gonzo said was correct, yesterday may have been the day.
She had driven up in the sports car she had bought for Kermit, who had insisted that he still wasn’t sure why she had done so when she drove it more than he did; she had wanted to take her motorcycle, seeing as that was how they had gotten into this mess in the first place, but she would need to take it in to replace the tire and make sure that the bullets La Chance fired at them hadn’t damaged anything else.
She was sitting in the car, listening to a top 40s hit while playing a game on her smartphone when Gonzo pulled up beside her, also in his car. The weirdo got out and walked around to where he could see the diva patiently waiting for him.
“I see you’ve been waiting long,” he joked, watching as she finished out her game.
“Far be it for you to keep a girl waiting,” was the retort.
“Never,” he replied. “So what’s up?”
“Well,” she sighed, putting the phone into sleep and standing. “As you know, Moi leads a very…busy and hectic life.”
“Uh huh.”
“And there are times in which, perhaps, Moi doesn’t take the time to…properly thank the…uh…well, you know, Moi’s fans when she should.”
“Actually,” Gonzo said. “You usually find time to thank the fans. We all do, when you think.”
“Yes well…” Piggy started, before clearing her throat. “That’s not the point. The point is that…well…Moi has a particular image to maintain, so you’ll understand when I say that…uh…well you know…”
“Is this an apology?” the stuntman asked. “Cause I seem to remember you trying to do this before, with disastrous results.”
Piggy sighed once more. This was too important and vital for her to be hemming and hawing and rambling. “Gonzo, listen,” she began. “Moi…I just wanted to apologize. I got in way too deep and took you along for the ride. I should’ve just had you go to the police when you wanted to and none of this would’ve ever happened.”
“Hey, come on, Princess,” the weirdo replied. “If anyone’s to blame, it’s me. I shouldn’t have asked you to that race, especially when you had been so worried about it.”
“Oh, well when you put it like that, it is your fault.”
Gonzo just looked at her, before shaking his head. It figured that Piggy would try and get out of this, but she was always creative about it. “Was that it?”
The diva smiled at him. “Technically,” she replied. “Yes, that was it, however seeing as Camilla probably thinks I’m trying to kill you or get you arrested or that I’m killing you and having you arrested at the moment or worse, we’re having some sort of illicit affair…”
“No,” he said. “That’s Kermit. Camilla realized we wouldn’t have an affair years ago.”
“Right,” said Piggy. “Anyway, just know that I feel bad about nearly getting you arrested and killed, so – and this pains me more than you think – if there is ever anything you need, let me know.”
“Actually…there is something you can do for me…”
[hr]
Sunday
Another opening and another show saw the Muppet Show up to their regular antics. For this show, Gonzo had upped the ante by introducing the flaming hoops of doom, three large hoops that would be set on fire while he flew through them after being shot out of a cannon.
It was a long shot that he was almost sure that Kermit wouldn’t okay, that is until he got Piggy to vouch for him. He didn’t know what she did and while he was sure any video evidence would get major hits on YouTube, he was just thankful that she had kept her word by helping him out.
And the fact that she was a little excited at not only introducing his act, but setting the hoops on fire was either her wanting to watch him hurt himself or Kermit had helped him out by putting her in a good mood.
“Show time, Princess,” he said, watching as she came up to him. “You ready?”
“Dear, weird, and insane Gonzo,” she replied. “What have I told you? Moi is always ready.”
And there you have it! That's the end of this long, five month long story that seemed to have gotten away from me. So what's up next on Miss Piggy's Adventures? You liked it and you asked for it, so the Bogan County Beauty Brawl is the next adventure!
And coming up in other things - a new Monday segment tomorrow and at some point, 4 Ball will be up too!
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