I'm going to take SOOOOOOOO much heat for this, but I think I finally got it figured out.
Every group, ethnic, religious, whatever HATES each other because they all think they out suffer each other. Jews were misplaced and hated everywhere they went, Blacks were driven here to do the work of pathetically lazy and cheap people and treated horribly for it, gays look like they just came out of no where, but they've been treated like crap for eons too and still are...
We get it. EVERYONE suffered. And why? Money, power, land grabs... same crap. it happened in the past, things sting... sometimes it's better to just move on, but people just like to hold "Something terrible happened to us in the past, and we weren't actually there" over everyone's heads.
I dream of a world where people say, "Yeah, unspeakable crap happened to my ancestors, not so much now." and just deal with it. Learn to get along with everyone and just deal with something they had no control over nor were able to experience. This whole "Your struggle isn't the same as my struggle" garbage is just that... garbage. All struggles are struggles. Everyone wants to be accepted. No clean hands in history, all that rot.
That said, I HATE how masculinity has to be the ideal of complete thugishness. True manliness is confidence in your sexuality. That's where part of Homopobia comes from, and clearly what Tracey Morgan was raised to believe. That's why I like the whole idea of Bromance, Brolationships, stuff like that. A very close comfort with friends. It drops the whole crappy male ideal that people have to constantly punch each other to show affection. That's why I hate all those bad cliched Honeymooners ripoff shows like According to Jim. Jeez... I swear, ATJ is the most annoyingly ubermasculine/borderline homophobic show I've ever seen. The character who has interests outside of sports is always effeminant (even if they're straight) and considered the loser of the bunch. King of Queens barely got away with that for me, but only because of Patton Oswalt and Jerry Stiller. THEY should have had a spinoff.
Why would you catch heat? I think a lot of times you project the notion what you say is going to be taken the wrong way.
But actually, you just articulated something that sums it up perfectly. The idea of claims to oppression. I believe some of the black community dislike of the gay community may be due to religious beliefs, the idea of white priveledge(and the perception of gays=all rich), masculinity identity...but it may also be that.
That notion of who can claim oppression. If the Native Americans had not been virtually wiped out/bread out of lineage, and blacks had come over in the way Indians/Arabs/Russians come over today, you might see them in the role that black America is. My friend who is black said how different it is visiting Europe, as the blacks there come from a whole different journey and situation of sorts.
As you noted, blacks had to work hard for often not as much. I think WW2 changed a lot of that. You saw a mass migration from the south of blacks to port cities, where whites and blacks got similar pay and could eek out a somewhat lower middle class life. Unfortunately, even in California you had segregation of cities and neighborhoods, and racist cops randomly beating up and arresting black kids hanging out in the 50's and 60's. This served as the impetus later on for street gangs and the rise of the black population in prison. I often feel MLK would be a bit saddened to know of the modern cyclical nature of the post civil rights era, and how so many African Americans got caught in that quagmire. When the CIA introduced crack cocaine via Contras supplying black street gangs in the early to mid 1980's as a shortsided way to makeup financial backing for covert missions(as exposed by Senator Kerry in 1988 and later senate investigations) it really did a number on black inner cities much like AIDS did to the gay community.
I personally don't believe in the idea of reparations, because noone is alive that can be blamed for the treatment of Native Americans, Blacks, Japanese, Chinese, Irish, whomever. I think part of the system is still there, but things have changed. Now, if a podunk general store in Tallahooskanowhere Alabama refuses to serve a black guy, the whole world knows it. 50 years ago, a black guy could be found in a ditch and there wouldn't be much of an investigation.
What's really sad is the number one oppressors of black communities are black youth gangs who have put a stranglehold on the lifeblood of any given city. Again the cyclical nature of not believing there is any other option, and being raised in that environment. Decades of being pushed around, spat on, etc and wanting to feel like you actually own something and have a strong identity may have lead to some feeling hyper protective(hence how street gangs are based on neighborhoods and streets) A hyper defensiveness making it so one has a tough exterior or hostility and mistrust toward everyone.
On many college campuses, Asians sit with Asians, Blacks with Blacks, etc...though I think cultural relatability comes into play. My friend I mentioned is a total nerd into punk and sci fi, but he gets made fun of by his black friends for acting "white". I myself have been told by other asians I don't act asian at all, whatever that means.
Personally, the thing I deeply hate in white, black, hispanic, arab, asian, russian and other cultures in my area is the macho tough guy alpha male act. It just leads to so much violence, abuse, using women(and women who enable that), wreckless fast and the furious driving. Both the rich and poor kids all seem to really fall into that idiotic mindset. And it's completely across virtually all races, classes and culture here in California. I think it's perfectly ok, heck preferred if males are raised to be in touch with a feminine side. Most guys in this culture are taught that crying, being in touch with feelings, etc is bad. This leads to many relationships being sucky, especially for the woman(Many females are also taught to think or act in a certain way)
I know Im making a lot of generalizations, but my unified theme here is I wish more people would smash their own paradigm, smash the control mechanisms and rise up to their full potential. We live in a world where men do most of the evil on the planet and oppression, and too many women enable it as the working and poor just take it.
I want to see people realize their full dynamic human potential...to cut away toxic relationships, stop buying into materialism, start thinking about what their eating and especially the stuck way they may approach life. If religion provides clarity or answers for some, than I am for that as well.