The corny joke thread

[MartyMuppets]

Doctor. Doctor.
I've just swallowed a bomb and it's due to go off in 45 seconds!
























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Just take a seat and I'll be with you in a minute.

 

[MartyMuppets]

A little boy in grade 2 asked the teacher if he could please go to the toilet.
She agreed but first he had to say his alphabet.
So he stood up and recited: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRS,
Suddenly she interrupted him asking "What has happened to the P?"
He answered "You don't want to know Miss."

 

[abiraniriba]

ok, here's one

What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car???

Give up???

To the other side

RIMSHOT

 

[MartyMuppets]

Why did the man walk across to the other side of the bridge instead of driving his car?






































To look for a gas station. BOOM BOOM

 

[anytimepally]

Two men walked into a bar.































You would think at least one of them would have ducked.

____________________________________________________________

A Grasshopper goes to a bar and hops up on a stool. The bartender is surprised to see a grasshopper and says "Say, you know we have a drink named after you?"





































The grasshopper responds "You have a drink named Roger?"

 

[abiraniriba]

Put on your cowboy hats for this 1

I was watching TV a while ago and there was a celebration on honoring the statehood of Texas. One of the Texans on the show told about the time he visited Australia and saw a bunch of kangaroos jumping around. The guide told him what they were and he said he had them back home he just called them grasshoppers.

 

[Katzi428]

I was watching TV a while ago and there was a celebration on honoring the statehood of Texas. One of the Texans on the show told about the time he visited Australia and saw a bunch of kangaroos jumping around. The guide told him what they were and he said he had them back home he just called them grasshoppers.

LOL!That's cute!

 

[abiraniriba]

tricky logic riddles

Here are some tricky logic riddles you may have heard before

A rooster is sitting on a peaked roof on Easter Sunday. One side of the roof slopes to the North, the other side of the roof slopes to the South. The rooster lays an egg, is it going to roll North or South?


Neither, roosters don't lay eggs

A Japanese-made plane is flying from America to Canada. It crashes on the Canadian border, where are they going to bury the survivors?

Why on earth would anyone want to bury those who lived?

Jack went camping. One morning he came out of hist tent, he walked 5 feet south, saw a bear, turned, ran 5 feet west, turned again and ran 5 feet due north and wound up back at his campsite. What color was the bear?

White; the only place those directions work is at the North Pole.

You are the bus driver, At the first stop two people get on. At the second stop, three more people get on and one person gets off. At the third stop six people get on and two people get off. At the last stop everybody gets off and nobody gets on. What color are the bus driver's eyes?

Well, what color are your eyes?

 

[Nick]

What does a blonde consider safe sex?




A padded headboard

 

[lael]

Okay, there were these three Deer (... deerI?) standing by a fence along a busy Hwy, dare'n each other to dash across.
One deer said, "You Doe!"
Another says, "No! You Doe!"
The first deer replied, "I'll Doe if you Doe!"

"No, You Doe!"
"No, You Doe!"
"No, You Doe!"

This goes on for a while....
Finally, the third Deer, rolling his eyes, chimes in, "Buck It! I'll Doe!"

Now that's a Fawn-y one!!!

Har-D Har Har!!!