Disability Corner

LittleJerry92

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The key thing to learn is, you can’t be friends with everyone.

And at the end of the day, you just gotta learn how to cut ties with those who are toxic and learn who your real friends are.
 

Flaky Pudding

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I stumbled upon something on YouTube today that really destroyed me so to speak. I'm very hesitant to post this because I'm sure someone out there will be laughing at me. Please do not post any jokes at my expense. I know the things I'm going to say may sound silly and stupid but I'd very much appreciate if you all refrained from posting snarky comments about my current struggle.

This is the video I came across:
The part where she talked about cartoon character-like demons torturing the child is what truly got to me.

As soon as she mentioned that the little boy went to **** for liking Pokémon, I almost had a legit panic attack.

As a huge cartoon geek myself, I was filled with sheer terror upon hearing that testimony.

I know that it may not be true and could just be somebody trying to get views, but even if it's not real. I can't get that darned image out of my head. I love horror but I always draw the line at religious themed horror because it scares me half to death. Stuff like Jason doesn't even make me flinch but I never had any interest in watching The Exorcist for that reason. This story is even worse though because it demonized one of my favorite things:Cartoons.

Ever since I encountered that video, I can no longer look at or even think about my former favorite characters like Oswald the Octopus, Super Mario, Brian Griffin, or even my waifu Giggles without thinking of the horrifying images Angelica described in that testimony.

Whether it's actually a legit true story or just a ploy to get money/YouTube fame, that video psychologically damaged me something beyond belief.

I have severe OCD and so once a thought is in my head, it gets stuck for days perhaps even weeks to come.

There are four major types of OCD:The strong germaphobes who are constantly cleaning, the people who always feel the need to compulsively apologize when the make even the smallest mistake, the hoarders who collect every single object of interest they can find, and the religiously obsessed folks who pray constantly. My type of OCD falls heavily into the fourth category with my deep religious fanaticism.

Ever since I saw that video, I've felt like an awful person due to my affinity for animation. Not only do I watch the shows she mentioned like Pokémon but I even watch even worse cartoons like Family Guy and The Simpsons which are loaded to the brim with sexuality, gory violence, bad language, and even blasphemy at times.​

I need help right now. I don't generally feel comfortable asking things like this but I'd feel good if some of the fellow believers here on the forum could pray for me during this rough time in my life. To the users who don't believe in God, please give me some helpful and kind words. Sometimes uplifting words are enough to heal a broken heart.

While other negative aspects of my mental health have improved greatly improved over the years years, unfortunately my OCD induced panic attacks only get increasingly worse the older I become.

I've seen countless psychiatrists, been prescribed numerous OCD medications, had a large amount of serious talks with my parents regarding the issue, and even literally cried myself to sleep on several different nights due to my OCD problems.

I sometimes fear that if this doesn't get better eventually I could end up having a serious mental breakdown like what infamously happened to Margo Kidder, the woman who played Lois Lane in the early Superman films.

I'm sure this thing right now about the cartoons in H*** will fade away eventually but that's not the problem. Whenever I stop having OCD attacks about one thing, something else will come along to replace it. When one thing stops setting me off, if the past has proven me anything it's that another thing will soon arise that triggers me in the same manner. It's really just a vicious, endless cycle.

While 2019 has proven to be a much better year than the metaphorical pit of despair that was 2018 so far, this one highly important aspect of my life gets more and more severe nearly every day.

Do you want to know how bad this whole situation about the above video is for me? I've never been suicidal in my life. But right as I was tucking myself into bed at night, I actually felt like,

"If I die in my sleep tonight. Oh well! I don't really care"

I'm actually writing this right now while being incredibly sleep deprived. I couldn't even sleep a wink and my pillow and blankets are soaked with tears because of all this crap that's going on in my life. Those H*** testimonies I found on YouTube have completely traumatized me inside and out. I'm just a complete train wreck at the moment and I REALLY need some guidance. This is probably the worst I've felt in my entire life so far (emotionally speaking, not counting physical pain like the time I had pneumonia by the way).​
 
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Flaky Pudding

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Believe it or not, I'm actually doing MUCH better today. I'm feeling just fine, I ended up sleeping well, I've been smiling and laughing again, I'm no longer depressed, and everything is just fine today :smile:.
 

Flaky Pudding

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I stumbled upon something on YouTube today that really destroyed me so to speak. I'm very hesitant to post this because I'm sure someone out there will be laughing at me. Please do not post any jokes at my expense. I know the things I'm going to say may sound silly and stupid but I'd very much appreciate if you all refrained from posting snarky comments about my current struggle.

This is the video I came across:
The part where she talked about cartoon character-like demons torturing the child is what truly got to me.

As soon as she mentioned that the little boy went to **** for liking Pokémon, I almost had a legit panic attack.

As a huge cartoon geek myself, I was filled with sheer terror upon hearing that testimony.

I know that it may not be true and could just be somebody trying to get views, but even if it's not real. I can't get that darned image out of my head. I love horror but I always draw the line at religious themed horror because it scares me half to death. Stuff like Jason doesn't even make me flinch but I never had any interest in watching The Exorcist for that reason. This story is even worse though because it demonized one of my favorite things:Cartoons.

Ever since I encountered that video, I can no longer look at or even think about my former favorite characters like Oswald the Octopus, Super Mario, Brian Griffin, or even my waifu Giggles without thinking of the horrifying images Angelica described in that testimony.

Whether it's actually a legit true story or just a ploy to get money/YouTube fame, that video psychologically damaged me something beyond belief.

I have severe OCD and so once a thought is in my head, it gets stuck for days perhaps even weeks to come.

There are four major types of OCD:The strong germaphobes who are constantly cleaning, the people who always feel the need to compulsively apologize when the make even the smallest mistake, the hoarders who collect every single object of interest they can find, and the religiously obsessed folks who pray constantly. My type of OCD falls heavily into the fourth category with my deep religious fanaticism.

Ever since I saw that video, I've felt like an awful person due to my affinity for animation. Not only do I watch the shows she mentioned like Pokémon but I even watch even worse cartoons like Family Guy and The Simpsons which are loaded to the brim with sexuality, gory violence, bad language, and even blasphemy at times.​

I need help right now. I don't generally feel comfortable asking things like this but I'd feel good if some of the fellow believers here on the forum could pray for me during this rough time in my life. To the users who don't believe in God, please give me some helpful and kind words. Sometimes uplifting words are enough to heal a broken heart.

While other negative aspects of my mental health have improved greatly improved over the years years, unfortunately my OCD induced panic attacks only get increasingly worse the older I become.

I've seen countless psychiatrists, been prescribed numerous OCD medications, had a large amount of serious talks with my parents regarding the issue, and even literally cried myself to sleep on several different nights due to my OCD problems.

I sometimes fear that if this doesn't get better eventually I could end up having a serious mental breakdown like what infamously happened to Margo Kidder, the woman who played Lois Lane in the early Superman films.

I'm sure this thing right now about the cartoons in H*** will fade away eventually but that's not the problem. Whenever I stop having OCD attacks about one thing, something else will come along to replace it. When one thing stops setting me off, if the past has proven me anything it's that another thing will soon arise that triggers me in the same manner. It's really just a vicious, endless cycle.

While 2019 has proven to be a much better year than the metaphorical pit of despair that was 2018 so far, this one highly important aspect of my life gets more and more severe nearly every day.

Do you want to know how bad this whole situation about the above video is for me? I've never been suicidal in my life. But right as I was tucking myself into bed at night, I actually felt like,

"If I die in my sleep tonight. Oh well! I don't really care"

I'm actually writing this right now while being incredibly sleep deprived. I couldn't even sleep a wink and my pillow and blankets are soaked with tears because of all this crap that's going on in my life. Those H*** testimonies I found on YouTube have completely traumatized me inside and out. I'm just a complete train wreck at the moment and I REALLY need some guidance. This is probably the worst I've felt in my entire life so far (emotionally speaking, not counting physical pain like the time I had pneumonia by the way).​
BEHOLD! The stupidest thing I've ever posted (among some very stiff competition mind you).

Man, I am so embarrassed and angry at myself right now. Why couldn't I have just kept those thoughts to myself?

Rereading this again today, I felt so unbelievably embarrassed. This is by far the most regretful thing I've ever put online period, no question.

I wouldn't usually request something like this:But could one of the moderators possibly delete that embarrassing, childish, idiotic, uncomfortable mess of a post? I'd feel much better to know that nobody will ever be able to read my long collection of sheer idiocy ever again.

Man, I can smell that Encyclopedia Dramatica page written about me coming a mile away ****. In all honesty though, I wouldn't blame somebody for making an ED page mocking the things I just posted. I'd actually kind of deserve it. Encyclopedia Dramatica is a site about using satire to ridicule the sheer stupidity found on the Internet. If that above post doesn't fit that description perfectly, I don't know what does :stick_out_tongue:.

Calling that post "cringey" is an insult to the word "cringe" lol.
 

Katzi428

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If people are your true friends, they don't make fun of you. (unless they're incredibly immature ,that is :rolleyes:) This IS the disability corner , right? Years ago it took guts to tell people to tell people you had a disability & not have yourself judged!


BEHOLD! The stupidest thing I've ever posted (among some very stiff competition mind you).

Man, I am so embarrassed and angry at myself right now. Why couldn't I have just kept those thoughts to myself?

Rereading this again today, I felt so unbelievably embarrassed. This is by far the most regretful thing I've ever put online period, no question.

I wouldn't usually request something like this:But could one of the moderators possibly delete that embarrassing, childish, idiotic, uncomfortable mess of a post? I'd feel much better to know that nobody will ever be able to read my long collection of sheer idiocy ever again.

Man, I can smell that Encyclopedia Dramatica page written about me coming a mile away ****. In all honesty though, I wouldn't blame somebody for making an ED page mocking the things I just posted. I'd actually kind of deserve it. Encyclopedia Dramatica is a site about using satire to ridicule the sheer stupidity found on the Internet. If that above post doesn't fit that description perfectly, I don't know what does :stick_out_tongue:.

Calling that post "cringey" is an insult to the word "cringe" lol.
 

Flaky Pudding

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Thank you very much for understanding what I'm going through, Katzi.

I just get nervous to talk about such things to people other than my family and psychiatrists because the Internet is filled with people who make fun of others for having disabilities. I've even found entire websites dedicated to nothing but trolls mocking others with Autism and other similar conditions for being "weird" and "uncool".

I know that sounds very extreme but unfortunately, such websites actually do exist. I have a tendency to worry about becoming a potential target for trolls because people who open up about personal stuff are the biggest bait for trolls to target.

Keep in mind though that nearly everything I posted about yesterday is starting to cool down today. In fact, I can safely say that I'm having a great day which is awesome comparing to how awful yesterday was.
 

Blue Frackle

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Whenever I stop having OCD attacks about one thing, something else will come along to replace it. When one thing stops setting me off, if the past has proven me anything it's that another thing will soon arise that triggers me in the same manner. It's really just a vicious, endless cycle.​
You are my twin; for the last near decade OCD has defined my existence (to me at least -- most other people wouldn't notice), illogically ruminating things all the time (thank God it's not germ related). I saw a psychologist and he told me "just don't think about it"...​

Let me say I'm not as bad as I was 8 or so years ago, but you literally cannot beat these things by yourself. I had a rare moment of clarity when I started working my first job in late 2012 where my mind was super clear, I was confident in myself, etc, but I eventually started ruminating things and am back to being a shell of my former self... life is ******* crazy nonsense, and has made less sense to me the older I've gotten, and I've literally just gotten more and more out of touch with reality: I would tell my younger self to hang onto my ego and stop trying to find the meaning of everything (that's what killed me), but hindsight is 20/20.

I know my post is pretty vague, but I don't want to get personal about stuff; as I said, most OCD stuff is ******* nonsense anyway.
 
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