Commercial rant time...

[D'Snowth]

I was wondering when somebody was going to say something about that commercial.

 

[AquaGGR]

I thought it was just bizarre, not really Burger King level creepy.

 

[Drtooth]

Well, I'll admit, it's different kinds of creepy.

With the Burger King commercials, you know what's going on. This commercial is creepy for being a mindscrew... and that German kid is unnerving. At least with the King, he got so stupid he actually was funny when used right. That Star Wars commercial was pretty good. And those BK video games are so insanely ridiculous, they're funny.

I'm also getting very annoyed at the non-stop barrage of plush toys that do something commercials. The swelling music is so incredibly annoying. Are these supposed to be emotionally manipulative? Cuz that's the soundtrack of a bad kid's movie that tries to be emotionally manipulative.

 

[D'Snowth]

Okay, I'm pretty sure I've expressed my comtempt with how technology keeps advancing so fast that people can't even keep up with it, I'm also pretty sure I've mentioned the old Best Buy commercial where they basically say, "You know that TV, computer, or camera you just bought? Guess what? It's outdated already! But don't worry, just bring it back, and you can exchange it for the latest model, which too will be outdated in another month or so!"? The recent iPhone commercial (the one where the dad gives his little girl his old one, then later sells it for cash) is basically forcing people to get rid of their current phones to get the new one that's getting ready to come out, they might as well have put a big disclaimer at the end, in bright letters that says, "YOUR CURRENT PHONE SUCKS, SELL IT SO YOU CAN GET THE NEW ONE THAT ISN'T EVEN OUT YET!"

Those AT&T (I think) commercials with Bill Hader, while funny, kind of have the same passive aggressive marketing strategy as well, only they just come right out and basically say you have to replace your phone every two years. Every two years? Come on, give me a break, perfectly working cellphones (obviously not what Bill has in these commercials) don't just up and die or stop working in two years. Honestly, my last cellphone before I had my current one forced on me (seriously, I RARELY, if ever, even use any of these apps or browse the web on it or anything) I had for five years, and you know what? It STILL worked! Just because it was a flip phone, and not one of those fancy-dancy Androids or SmartPhones or iPhones or whatever didn't mean it didn't serve it's purpose... heck, the call quality was actually BETTER on that old thing than my current phone, everybody on the other end sounds incredibly muffled and it's hard to understand them.

I'm reminded of an old BEETLE BAILEY comic strip where Miss Buxley muses over the various different reasons the campers use computers, such as Sarge IMing everyone with his angry rants, the General always keeping up with golf scores, Killer flirting with women all over the world, Rocky downloading music, Beetle goofing off and playing games all day, and Zero not even knowing how to turn a computer on, to which she then exclaims, "And I thought computers were supposed to make our lives BETTER!" It's almost the same thing: advances in technology aren't so much advances anymore as they as just rushes.

 

[D'Snowth]

Okay, I HAD to write this:

http://josephscarbrough.blogspot.com/2013/09/this-commercial-is-un-pc-im-offended.html

I'm illustrating a point - this is not an actual commercial rant, but this seemed to be the most appropriate thread.

 

[Drtooth]

Can someone PLEASE tell whoever makes those different plush toys that do things commercials to stop making them so annoying? "Hopw Much Stuff can you Stuff a Stuffies stuff stuff stuff stuff?" Yeah, let's repeat that 4 times in a commercial. That is NOT obnoxious at all.

And while I'm at it.. the Dunkin Donuts commercial where they ask how do they get Eggs Benedict into a sandwich...

WHA?!?! How? Are you....? How stupid...are...?

An eggs Benedict is a freaking open faced sandwich. One that inspired the Egg McMuffin. So essentially, you put freaking sauce in an Egg McMuffin. Or subtracted one egg and closed the top English Muffin in the first place.

But the one that's REALLY sticking in my craw?

Those FREAKING Citizens Bank ones where everyone's showered with thank you gifts because they found the cure for cancer waved the monthly privilege of having us hold your money tax if you dump a huge lump of money in your account that you must never ever touch ever.

I have never seen a commercial THAT self indulgent. Maybe the Bucky Larson movie... but jeez... even fast food companies sell their product less narcissistic. These are even worse than those Regis Philbin TD Bank ones.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

Stupid Geico Commercials

 

[Drtooth]

Those aren't too bad. I swear the Pinocchio one is supposed to be a reference to Shrek somehow (almost the same exact voice is used for him as the Shrek version).

But the ones where paintings in a gallery talk to each other are abysmal! A cat that turns into a phone for no reason? Creepy. Just creepy, unfunny, and awful.

Guess which commercials they always make you watch on hulu?

Those and the narcissistic Citizen's Bank commercials.

 

[Drtooth]

There are so many trends in commercials that I've grown tired of.

Small, children's diorama made of wood (done entirely in CGI) spinning around to make something look "homey" (Panera Bread, Cracker Barrel, Uncle Ben's)

Loud, obnoxious on screen text of what the even louder, more obnoxious announcer is actually saying that somehow comes off as manly(Used in Ford Truck ads and used to be in Planet Fitness ones as well)

Elfy women singing faux-dorky product anthems (Belvita breakfast biscuits, Truvia artificial sweeteners)

Elfy women singing "OH! ohoh oh OH!" (used mainly in women focused projects)

 

[mr3urious]

I've recently been getting quite a few horse-related ads, most bizarrely for Purina Horse Chow (though that happened only once). Must be from all those ponies.

Loud, obnoxious on screen text of what the even louder, more obnoxious announcer is actually saying that somehow comes off as manly(Used in Ford Truck ads and used to be in Planet Fitness ones as well)

Elfy women singing faux-dorky product anthems (Belvita breakfast biscuits, Truvia artificial sweeteners)

That Truvia one is also really obnoxious in its guilt tripping, too."Oh, if I eat one little bit of sugar I'll suddenly gain a thousand pounds!" Kiss my lumps, Truvia!

I've never seen the one for Belvita, but I really liked the earlier ones that parody those commercials where people in a particular profession claim say that the food advertised helps them do better, but in the Belvita ones they're still just as sucky at what they do, like the golfer who keeps whiffing his swings.