Commercial rant time...

[D'Snowth]

Well, like I posted in the Question Thread... why IS the Atkin's diet making a comeback anyway? Nobody liked it back in 2004, when makes them think people are going to like it nine years later?

 

[Sgt Floyd]

Because Sharon Osbourne is endorsing it?

You know, I'm not even entirely sure what it is. Is it just special meals you eat?

 

[D'Snowth]

It's one of those "Dude, this specific food group is, like, EVIL, man, don't eat it!" diets, in this case, Atkins says bread and stuff like that is Agent of Satan and you need to eliminate all that kind of stuff from your diet... you know, back when suddenly fast food chains started offering burgers and sandwiches with no buns and instead wrapped them up in alluminum foil? 'Cause, it's not like the GREASE or anything else that they cooked the beef patties in is dangerous to your health... no, it's the evil buns!

 

[Drtooth]

I read somewhere that a LOT of money is wasted on the Ad Council (the American PSA company). And you know what? they're RIGHT! They make these big elaborate confusing commercials that do that lame misleading crap that make you watch the whole stupid thing to find out what the point is.

Here are some of my "favorites"

Ugly dorky kid collects air. We sit through this terribly factory quirky pseudo indie film, shot like a documentary, where some socially unadjusted schmuck collects air in bottles. Tag line? You think this is crazy, wait till you find out what's collecting in your lungs. Go to the American Lung Association to get air quality updates.

You...uh... CAN'T just say that to begin with?!

Then there's two with the same exact message.

One features this extremely researched Wiggles parody (probably made by a frustrated parent) and another features a long segment about Gerbils on toy train which, after an interminable amount of time turns out to be a fake web video. The message of both? If your kid has 2 minutes to watch this, then they have 2 minutes to brush their teeth. In a commercial... where they don't even MENTION teeth the entire first 29 seconds.

What the heck, man? All this budget they have, they can't make something... I dunno... straightforward? or not annoying to have to sit through?

 

[D'Snowth]

Okay, this isn't MY rant, but there's like this parental group out there that's always cracking down on inappropriate content in movies, TV, magazines, etc... apparently, all these moms have gotten their granny panties all tied up in wads over that Geico commercial with Maxwell the Pig and that girl broke down on the hill overlooking the city, because it apparently promotes bestiality.

Frankly, I'm more concerned about the mothers who are sitting around and entertaining the idea of a girl horsing around with a pig... I mean, it seems to me they're the ones with their minds in the gutter. There's TONS of objectionable content out there that they can crack down on, and they choose a crack down on Maxwell. Ya know, I don't remember anybody complaining back in the days between Kelsey Grammer's English Gecko and our modern-day Aussie Gecko where we see the Gecko riding around in a convertible with a hot girl, and he seemed to be enjoying it too.

 

[Sgt Floyd]

Let's all sue Sega for promoting bestiality with Sonic!

OMG! A human girl kissed him! Sheesh...

 

[Drtooth]

Okay, this isn't MY rant, but there's like this parental group out there that's always cracking down on inappropriate content in movies, TV, magazines, etc... apparently, all these moms have gotten their granny panties all tied up in wads over that Geico commercial with Maxwell the Pig and that girl broke down on the hill overlooking the city, because it apparently promotes bestiality.

That's Million Mom March again. It just goes to prove how completely out of touch and cartoonishly buffoonish their movement of not at all a Million people are. They're basically whining and decrying something that goes all the way back to Looney Tunes. Before that even. I love how these are, politically, the same groups complaining about how "P.C." everything is, yet they're the most easily offended group there is.

I hope this is the nail in the coffin for their relevance. If you can't look past something that goes back as far as Looney Tunes cartoons, you know you're a bunch of angry overreligious bitter losers.

Let's all sue Sega for promoting bestiality with Sonic!

OMG! A human girl kissed him! Sheesh...

Not only that... but his relationship with Princess Sally is tantamount to interracial marriages. Ewwwwwww says everyone from the 18th century.

 

[charlietheowl]

That's Million Mom March again. It just goes to prove how completely out of touch and cartoonishly buffoonish their movement of not at all a Million people are. They're basically whining and decrying something that goes all the way back to Looney Tunes. Before that even. I love how these are, politically, the same groups complaining about how "P.C." everything is, yet they're the most easily offended group there is.

I hope this is the nail in the coffin for their relevance. If you can't look past something that goes back as far as Looney Tunes cartoons, you know you're a bunch of angry overreligious bitter losers.

Yeah, they got all mad over the Snickers commercial that featured a girl kissing a walrus for his Snickers bar. Or maybe it was Starburst. Whatever, if you're going to try and be an organization that people take seriously, don't attack candy commercials for promoting "bestiality". It doesn't make you look like anyone worth listening to.

 

[Drtooth]

They never were. They're essentially a hate censorship group that's so anoyed by people pushing an agenda they don't like that they force an agenda no one else likes on the country. They're one of those "every one's a fascist except the ones with fascist tendencies" organizations. I hope this does show that they're a bunch of puritanical morons and psychopaths, and the whole thing falls apart from there.

 

[Drtooth]

I was trying to let this slide, but these new Burger King advertisements are so bafflingly idiotic, I'm nostalgic for The King. They're just indescribable. Some overpaid waste of human life found the television advertising equivalent of jingling keys in front of a baby. That's the only way to explain it. It's like "The Whopper is a buck twenty nine! And there's a random puppet and spaceman in the background!" or "Here's our new burger that's so exciting, here's an unexplained guy in a Shark mascot costume!"

I mean... WHAT?! Is the joke that these commercials are supposed to look like they were produced by and for mentally handicapped 4 year olds with extreme ADHD? It's static. So much going on at once that it comes off as nothing. I've seen plenty of terrible commercials in my time, but at least they have some sort of story or the barest thread of structure to them.