What up, kids. Here is your weekly 4 Ball update and it's an extra long one too. And yes, before you ask, you'll be getting a brand new chapter of AoM this coming Monday. But on to 4 Ball -
In case you missed it (or forgot cause it's been a while): our little Scooter planned for a romantic getaway up in a cabin his uncle (and now he) owns for his girlfriend. Kermit, also looking for a romantic weekend with her royal highness, was able to set up his own trip to the cabin. Last chapter, we saw the beginnings of a comedy of errors; in this chapter, we first look at our two loving couples, which is then followed up by hilarity.
And what the heck - debauchery, too!
IV.
The drive up to the cabin, for Scooter and Amanda at least, was the kind of trip that you could enjoy with your significant other. Truth be told, Amanda was a little nervous about the trip; not that she didn’t love spending time with Scooter and certainly, she was more than prepared to show him just how much she loved him.
She had a little treat in her bag that she had planned to surprise the Muppet manager with, in the hopes that it would fully escalate their relationship to the next level. She was pretty sure that Scooter wanted her as much as she wanted him and the thought of four days in a remote cabin, alone, had certainly started her mind racing on the possibilities that existed.
If she was honest with herself, this was probably the most happiest she had ever been in a relationship; Scooter Grosse wasn’t just some guy who happened to walk into her dad’s bar one day. A flutter in her heart gave way to the possibility that Scooter could be the one; the one. She had certainly told her father the honest truth - she could easily see being wife to and mother of Scooter and any children they would have together.
Perhaps it was a pipe dream or a fairy tale that seemed to be getting away from her, but Amanda honestly believed that this could grow into something she had never expected or anticipated before. She couldn’t recall any of her other boyfriends doing the types of things the Muppet had done to show his feelings for her and she couldn’t remember any of them inviting her up for a private vacation either.
Traffic made the drive a bit longer than Scooter had wanted, but the light at the end of the tunnel, as it were, made the wait a little more tolerable. And of course, they had stopped by the store in order to pick up supplies – a bit of canned goods and fresh foods were packed in the backseat, along with an ice chest to make sure that nothing spoiled before they reached their destination.
And as promised, Scooter bought the foods that he knew both Piggy and Kermit enjoyed, making two separate stops to make sure the two wouldn’t starve or worse, get into an argument as to who ate what at any given time; in thinking about his two favorite people, the page couldn’t help but wonder what had put a fire under the frog’s seat to get him to consider a vacation.
The redhead had noted there seemed to be something different within the frog’s psyche as of late; ever since Valentine’s Day, it seemed as though Kermit was taking his role as beau to their leading lady a little more seriously these days. Scooter – and just about everyone in the universe – was fairly aware at just how enamored Piggy was with Kermit; perhaps he knew a little more about that, as the diva’s feelings went deeper than just a crush on her director and costar.
The two of them had schemed enough against Kermit in the pursuit of love and marriage, Scooter had somehow elevated himself from minor nuisance to covert cohort to trusted partner that it had been a bit of a surprise – to both him and the pig – when it turned out Kermit, and Gonzo to some extent, weren’t the only ones who fancied themselves in romantic league with her.
And while Scooter had always been aware of Piggy’s feelings, Kermit’s had been all over the place like a child’s finger painting exercise. There were times where it seemed those feelings weren’t returned and then within a blink of eye, you had to wonder if perhaps the frog’s passions were more than the pig’s.
Their relationship was unlike any that Scooter could think of, in both reality and fiction, and yet, it was the one he held in the highest regard and the one he thought he wanted with a girl of his own, a girl like Amanda.
Shaking the thoughts from his head, Scooter resolved to worry about the power couple next week, hoping they wouldn’t kill each other in his nice cabin, while secretly hoping to hear some big announcement when they returned.
[hr]
The drive up to the cabin, for Kermit and Piggy at least, was the kind of trip that you could enjoy with your significant other. Truth be told, Piggy was a little nervous about the trip; not that she didn’t love spending time with Kermit and certainly, she was more than prepared to show him just how much she loved the idea of a little vacation spot for the two of them.
Her frog had been an utter delight as of late and she was doing everything she could to make sure that boat kept sailing through calm waters and sunny days. It wasn’t to say that she and Kermit couldn’t be civil or loving to each other, because they could; however, their relationship wouldn’t necessarily be theirs if they weren’t arguing over something. That’s what made their relationship their relationship.
Piggy certainly didn’t understand it herself; she was not the kind of girl, the kind of lady, who went chasing after men. The entire package of Piggy exclaimed, enticed, and exuded the very reasons why someone should go after her and should be with her; that was just a given. And it wasn’t to say that this meant Piggy didn’t go after what she wanted, because she did, she always did and she always won.
Kermit the Frog either did not get that memo or completely ignored it when it came in front of him. He certainly wasn’t blind nor basic. He was well aware that Piggy had him in her sights and if he knew what was good for him, he would just be drawn in like all the other men who had gotten caught up in the rotation of Piggy’s charm and beauty.
But never let it be said that Kermit ever knew what was good for him, especially when it came to Miss Piggy.
If Piggy couldn’t understand how her very charm didn’t seem to be charming him, Kermit couldn’t understand how he had been easily charmed. Kermit was used to the girls back home who wanted for a gentleman caller to approach, who could patiently wait while a boy came around within his own feelings, and who could disagree without any back sass.
Miss Piggy either did not get that little tidbit or she outright ignored it the way she did anything that was reasonably annoying. As much as Kermit resisted, both Piggy’s pull and his own undeniable feelings would get him drawn in. The pig wasn’t his type, shouldn’t have been his type, and perhaps that’s what attracted him; Piggy wasn’t like the girls back home. She was coy and cunning, sly and stunning, and if you weren’t careful, she could charm you right out of your clothes (of which Kermit had plenty of experience in).
She challenged him on just about anything that didn’t grant her what she wanted, when he said no, she’d say yes, if he ignored her, she went right around and ignored him too until it was him begging for her forgiveness on whatever thing he had done (even if he hadn’t started it in the first place).
Disagreements with them weren’t just disagreements; if arguing was an Olympic team sport, they’d have more gold medals than the entire US team for every year they had participated. Neither of them had ever loved or hated someone as much as they could the other; if Kermit had thought his problems solved when she left him, he had been mistaken and so far out of left field, he may as well have been out of the park.
To his shame, the frog had sometimes thought that life with Piggy would be miserable, was miserable, and once she got it through her head that – regardless of their attraction to each other – this affair of theirs was doomed, he could go back to trying to make something of this group of misfits that had somehow been thrown together in order to make people happy.
And then he had uttered the ‘words that were to never be spoken’ and his life began without Piggy.
And it was worse than he could ever imagine.
Despite her grand diva ways and his sometimes controlling habits, the two of them understood each other better than anyone else. Kermit knew that underneath the grandstanding diva was someone who craved approval and who took pride in the things she did to get it; that’s why he may have been a little harder on her during shows or movie productions. Because he knew what she was capable of and Kermit the Frog would be darned if he just allowed Piggy to ever phone any of her parts in.
Piggy knew underneath the cool, confident, controlled exterior the director tried to pull off just masked the insecurities of someone still wondering if what they were doing was right. Even with all the success and all the recognition, Kermit still worried if he hadn’t started a quest that shouldn’t have been started; even now, with everyone back where they belong, the frog still wondered if he had ruined lives by taking their friends away from those lives.
That’s why she challenged him on any and every point she could; he was a born leader and Miss Piggy would rather give up everything she had ever done if she ever allowed him to think that they ever doubted his command capabilities.
This couple’s trip wasn’t nearly as long as their counterparts, thanks to Kermit’s decision that he was going to let his assistant enjoy his vacation without calls or text from him. The frog had planned things, by himself, to the letter; he had gotten Walter to find out flights for him and Kermit bought the tickets himself. And Dr. Teeth had been instrumental when it came to finding the best rental places that weren’t going to charge him both arms and legs for a car.
Oh, Kermit was quite proud of himself, both for making most of the arrangements for this and for the decision he had finally pushed in his heart. He had told Piggy he was going to make up for some of the things he had done and said in the past and he was most assuredly going to keep to his word.
Starting with this little getaway, just the two of them.
[hr]
The sun was high in the sky by the time the black mini Cooper pulled up to the front porch. While it was very sunny for the day, temperatures here were usually a bit cooler than in the lower part of the state, however the two occupants had covered this, bringing jackets just in case and Scooter had made sure that the bed covers were nice and warm and that they could turn on the heat if needed.
Luckily, the last time he had been up, he’d been smart to bring in some wood from the piles that were outside and he had even picked up some of the package wood that was sold for those who needed them for grilling or a fireplace.
The sun’s light through the trees was the perfect back drop for Amanda’s first sight of the cabin and it was indeed perfect. Hearing about a place and seeing it for the first time could always be fifty/fifty; sometimes the image didn’t exactly match the story that went behind it. That had happened once, when Seth Parker had told her they would be having a romantic, candlelight dinner and the fancy restaurant turned out to be a dimly lit Chucky Cheese. And then there are times when seeing actually outpaced the story and this was one of those times.
The outside setting was breath taking and the smell of the air was crisp and warm when they left the car. “Oh wow,” she whispered, turning slowly and taking in all of the scenery that surrounded them. Like Scooter, Amanda was very much a city kid, though getting out the hustle and bustle was nice once in a while; her dad loved nature though, as did her mother – she had been told – and they had enjoyed a few camping days when she was still young. The trees were waving slightly with the breeze and the sight of a lake off in the distance was truly astounding.
Scooter grabbed the food, enjoying the wonderment that shown on his girlfriend’s face before he headed in. When he came back out to get his stuff, he found her still looking around in delight, before he headed inside once more; instead of just taking his bag to the room he wanted them to be in, he stood by the couch and waited for her to come in. When she did, Amanda closed the door behind her, all the while taking stock on the entry in to the cabin proper.
“Like it?”
“Scooter, this is incredible!” she gushed.
“I can give you a tour, if you’d like,” he said, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks.
“Hold on there, Grosse,” Amanda stated, walking towards him and setting her bag down. “I think a little appreciation is in order.”
Scooter didn’t bother hiding the shudder that went through him when her arms came around him. “Hey now,” he whispered, his eyes darting from her face to her lips. “Your dad said I couldn’t touch you.”
“But he didn’t say anything about me touching you,” she retorted, sharing in his chuckle before her lips descended on his.
[hr]
Engrossed in their own activities inside, Scooter and Amanda didn’t hear the sounds of a second car pulling up next to theirs outside. In fact, the occupants of the second car were just as equally surprised to see Scooter’s familiar Cooper sitting in the drive.
“What’s Scooter doing here?” asked Piggy.
Shaking his head in both annoyance and amusement, Kermit replied, “That kid. Even when on vacation, he can’t stop taking care of people.”
“That’s why we like him so much.”
Just as Amanda did when she got out of the car, both frog and pig took a few moments to enjoy the scenery that was around them. Piggy had to admit that the frog had gone all out this time; when he had suggested going on a little getaway trip, she had wrongfully assumed he would invite the others along as well. And it wasn’t that she didn’t like the others – she did, in her own way – but she could count on her hand the number of times she had managed to get Kermit alone that didn't included some sort of interruption.
But this time, it actually seemed as though Kermit had gone above and beyond what she thought he would do; the location was breath taking. She could see a couple of walking paths, along what looked like a lake in the distance; a nice little table sat outside and would be perfect for morning breakfasts or even romantic evening dinners and if the inside was as spectacular as he led her to believe, she could very well guarantee they might not even bother with the outside.
Never let it be said that Piggy passed up a chance to thank her green knight in shiny armor – as they both headed towards the front door, she turned around suddenly and surprised him with a kiss that left they both a bit heady.
“Be a doll and go unlock the door,” he stumbled, holding up the key that Scooter had given him before the group took their break.
Giving him a look that signaled not only how happy she was, but how happy he was going to be by the end of that day, she gave a soft and seductive, “Aye, aye, Captain.” before heading up the porch steps.
[hr]
Now, in the retelling of this story, the two couples involved always made sure to minimize the actual shock, irritation, and yes, anger that all seemed to come together when discovering they would no doubt be sharing a cabin together for four days. And with that in mind, they of course always, always, skipped over the part of how they actually came to discover that they would be sharing a cabin together for four days.
As much as Kermit complained that there was nothing secret between Piggy and Scooter – which in some cases, there wasn’t – hearing something is distinctly different from seeing something. Neither pig or page was naïve to think that nothing went on between them and their significant other; it didn’t mean however that they wanted to see what went on or even hear what went on. So being caught virtually making out with his girlfriend in the middle of the entry way by someone he considered to be a parental was embarrassing, so embarrassing that whatever plans he wanted with Amanda were doused like a cold shower.
That of course didn’t excuse his reaction to the situation…
“Piggy!?”
Amanda, who had just found that junction on Scooter’s neck that drove him wild, looked at him with a touch of annoyance. “I’ll try not to take that personally,” she retorted.
“Scooter?” Kermit asked, coming up from behind Piggy. He hadn't been standing there long enough to catch the younger couple in their act and it was a mercy the young Muppet was grateful for. “What’re you doing here?”
“That had been my question,” Piggy replied, wryly. “But I could clearly see what they were doing.”
“What am I doing here?” Scooter asked, untangling himself from the Whatnot. “What’re you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here?” the frog huffed. “I’m here on a vacation!”
From whatever depths or reserves the redhead still held from years being apart from his favorite group of people, he managed to find it in order to glare at the director. “Kermit,” he growled. “What day do you think this is?”
“What day do you think this is?”
“Obviously, not the same day you think this is!”
“Now hold on, Grosse,” Kermit argued. “I set this up and everything and I know I’m right on this.” Pulling out his phone, which he had almost left at home lest the masses tried to contact him, he pulled up the calendar app and waved it in front of his assistant’s face. “I have the dates and everything, just like you told me. See?”
“Give me that!” Scooter said, snatching the phone from the waving flipper, giving no heed to the way Kermit glared at him equally.
It was rare, as in maybe once in a lifetime, that the two ever came into conflict with each other; usually, Kermit’s annoyance with Scooter was really the combination of annoyance with Piggy and her schemes to rope anyone within the vicinity into them with her. Scooter’s only major issue with Kermit had been the way he had treated Piggy, which helped to put him in a group that would side with her should another epic break up occur, and that had been greatly supported by his own teenage romantic feelings, as well as those feelings turning into the more familiar parental/child status it had eventually led to.
At this moment, however, both captain and first mate were fit to be tied in regards to their romantic weekend being ruined.
Looking at the calendar Kermit had so proudly and confidently been parading at him, Scooter gave the frog a side glance when his presence made its way next to him. “And again, I ask,” he began. “What day do you think this is?”
The two of them stared intently at the smartphone screen and when the realization of what happened was made clear, they turned slowly to look at each other. As happy as Kermit had been and as happy as he had been hoping Piggy and this trip would make him, that happiness came crashing downinstantly; so proud he had been in showing Scooter that he was capable of handling the scheduling for this trip all by himself had now, in hindsight, made him look like an incompetent idiot. Whether it was Kermit’s haste in making sure he marked down the right date or maybe it was his technological incompetence, but all week long the frog had been looking forward to this and had assumed they were in a different week.
His calendar hadn’t changed back to the actual week and was still showing what was the next week, the week that he and Piggy should have been up there. He had inadvertently shown up during Scooter’s stay, not his.
There were no words to adequately state how very embarrassed Kermit was. ‘I’m sorry’ just wasn’t enough to really get across the fact that he was really, really sorry; and it would have been the rudest thing on earth if Kermit were to suggest that maybe they trade weeks and basically kick the younger couple out of the cabin so that he and Piggy could stay there. Making up his mind, Kermit was prepared to gracefully bow out and just drive around until he found a hotel or lodge or something that would take him and his own girlfriend.
The odds of that happening were probably slim and he was sure the longer it took to find such a hotel the angrier Piggy would be with him and it would all but sink the weekend that he had been so happy to have. Just as he opened his mouth to make the suggestion, he noted that Scooter had not only fixed the calendar to the actual week and day, but was actively adding something in on the 12th.
“Am…am I doing something on the twelfth?” he asked, hesitantly.
“Yes,” the page grumbled. “Having your eyes checked. And possibly your memory!”
“Hey! This isn’t my fault!”
“Not your fault!?”
Neither Amanda nor Piggy had ever seen an argument between Kermit and Scooter before and this one seemed to have a little bit of bite to it. Yes, both women were equally upset at what could be a ruined weekend, but both were intelligent to know that there was nothing they could do about it really; it would have been rude to ask the other couple to leave and they were four, mature adults who could certainly manage four days alone with each other without hassle.
And they both seemed to instinctively know that.
Acknowledging the look she got from the Whatnot, Piggy nodded before issuing a loud whistle that stopped the two men folk in the middle of their argument. “If you boys are quite finished,” she stated. “It’s been a long morning for everyone, well probably more so for Miss Amanda and our darling Andrew, so I suggest we put our stuff in our rooms and maybe take a little nap.”
The word had been given and at least for the two women involved, they knew what needed to be done next. Grabbing their luggage, the two headed to their prospective rooms – Amanda heading for the room on the left (the very room that Scooter had claimed for them beforehand) and Piggy for the room on the right – leaving the frog and page to figure out what to do next.
Whether it was male proprieties or the amount of respect the two had for each other, the thought that they would be sharing rooms with their perspective lady had never once entered their minds. Both had wrongly assumed that Piggy and Amanda would be so angered, so upset that they would form a typical girl club that excluded them from even looking at any part of them.
Despite the situation, Kermit and Scooter had been fully prepared to take the brunt of this and be bunkmates if only to make sure these four days passed without incident. So to see Amanda in standing in the doorway of one room and Piggy standing in the doorway of the other, each waiting for their man to, well man up (or frog up, in Kermit’s case) had been a startling surprise.
And it left them at odds of what they were going to do next.
It was the folding of the arms and look from the girlfriend that Scooter could see standing across the way that caused him to move first, picking up his bag, and giving Kermit a look that clearly said, “you’re on your own, pal”, the redhead tried to calmly and quickly walk into the room he was sharing with the bar manager.
Kermit, who had immediately answered Scooter’s look with a mental, “traitor!”, also picked up his bag, turned, and walked with all the dignity of an inmate heading down to death row to where he knew Piggy was standing, arms crossed, and a look that bordered between amusement and pity.
And he wasn’t going to take it.
“Not one word, Pig.”
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Jim Henson Idea Man
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Sam and Friends Book
That hilarity must have one good lawyer.
: How come he gets all the good jokes?
: We get it.
Seriously, this bugging the heck outta me. Where he keep hiding them? And where he keep getting them from?