Would you vote for Bush or Kerry?

[Crazy Harry]

How can you tell a polotition's lying? Their mouth is open.

 

[tomahawk]

I voted for Kerry. I will refrain from making anymore comments since they seem to get me in trouble here at Muppetcentral.


So, I will leave you all with this...
http://homepage.mac.com/njenson/movies/sovereignty.mov

 

[tomahawk]

Oh, and this just in...

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION AGENDA


(FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE)

The following is the "first final" list of events for the Republican National Convention in New York City, August 30 to September 2, 2004.

AUG. 30 - 6 p.m. - OPENING PRAYER read by Mel Gibson while being flogged with a spiked leather strap wielded by Ann Coulter

* TOM RIDGE raises National Alert Level to RED.

* LEST WE FORGET - HONORARY ROLL CALL of All Members (and Friends)of the Bush Administration Who Might Very Well Have Been Killed In Vietnam If It Hadn't Been For Nasty Trick Knees, Anal Cysts, Recurrent Headaches, and Highly-Placed,
Overly-Protective Parents.
(Sponsored by Tyson Chicken)

* ANTONIN SCALIA speaks - "SLAVERY - THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF OUR FOREFATHERS, AND GREAT FOR BUSINESS! (Sponsored by Wal-Mart)

* DICK CHENEY hosts AMBASSADORSHIP RAFFLE -
Opening Bid $1 million (cash, non-sequential bills, 20s or less)

* CLIMAX OF THE EVENING - FILM - "BRING IT ON!"
Stirring fictionalized re-creation of Mr. Bush's actual dental appointment in Alabama in 1972, where he showed the incredible courage to allow "deep cleaning" of gums without anesthetic.
(Sponsored by Sinclair Broadcasting)

* SUGGESTED AFTER-EVENT - "GET BAKED WITH RUSH - "Crankster" LIMBAUGH!"
(Location TBD) (Sponsored by Pfizer)

AUG 31-- 6 p.m. OPENING PRAYER read by Our Lord
(The Passion Of) Jesus H. Christ, as channeled by Lt. General Boykin, the man who first revealed that Mr. Bush was chosen by God to lead this country into war against the heathens.
Mr. Boykin will then give a short, upbeat presentation on Islam called, "My God Can Beat Up Your God."

* TOM RIDGE raises National Alert Level to FLASHING RED.

* WAYNE LAPIERRE will pry Davy Crockett's Kentucky Long Rifle out of Charlton Heston's cold dead fingers (subject to Heston's death)
(Sponsored by Smith & Wesson)

* DESIGNATED BROWN PERSON (Hispanic or Muslim, or possibly an Hispanic-Muslim, if we can find one) will speak on how being a brown person doesn't automatically disqualify you from being a Republican (subject to finding a brown person capable of
being bribed to do this - may need professional actor, possibly brought in from third world country)

* CLIMAX OF THE EVENING - PAUL WOLFOWITZ
announces American plans to invade Iran, strip them of nuclear weapons, and turn over entire country to Bechtel to be run as a subsidiary. (Wolfowitz will tell anxious voters that the operation will involve 200 out-sourced "consultants", will
take one week and will be entirely funded by pocket change found in a White House couch.)
(Sponsored by Halliburton)

* SUGGESTED AFTER-EVENT - "RIDE THE WAVE WITH RUSH "Big Oxy" LIMBAUGH!" (Do a couple of 'ringers' with Big Pharma - sponsored by ROBITUSSIN)

SEPTEMBER 1 - 6 p.m. -- OPENING PRAYER by the REVEREND JERRY FALWELL who will demonstrate the spirit of Compassionate Conservatism and the eternal mercy of God by wishing a horrible fiery death and an eternity in the pit of **** for all
non-white, non-male, non-Christian, non-heterosexual, non-Republicans.

* TOM RIDGE raises National Alert Level to PULSATING RED

* THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF INSANELY RICH PERSONS (AAIRP) will present LAURA BUSH with A PLATINUM CHAINSAW in thanks for the Bush Administration tax cuts (Sponsored by Gulfstream)

* ANN COULTER, BILL O'REILLY and SEAN HANNITY will lead a special TWO-MINUTE HATE-IN aimed at photo of John Kerry.

* CLIMAX OF THE EVENING -- DIEBOLD CORPORATION WILL ANNOUNCE ELECTION RETURNS - BUSH WINS RE-ELECTION WITH 51% OF VOTE
(YET TO BE CAST).
(JUSTICE ANTONIN SCALIA will certify vote results) Diebold Board member Wilbur H. Grafton will deny fraud, announce his retirement, and be named the new Ambassador to Jamaica.
(Sponsored by Diebold)

* SUGGESTED AFTER-EVENT -- "GET WRECKED WITH RUSH "Kicker" LIMBAUGH"
(sponsored by Eli Lilly)

SEPTEMBER 2 (nomination night) - 6 p.m. - OPENING PRAYER by ATTORNEY GENERAL JOHN ASHCROFT, who will then sing "Let the Eagle Soar" and light the ceremonial "TORCH OF FREEDOM with the (actual) Bill of Rights.

* TOM RIDGE raises National Alert Level to Fire Engine Red, and ANNOUNCES CAPTURE OF OSAMA BIN LADEN.

* CONVENTION SHIFTS TO "GROUND ZERO" - DICK CHENEY will introduce and personally re-nominate PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH, who WILL IMPALE OSAMA BIN LADEN WITH DAVY CROCKETT'S KENTUCKY LONG RIFLE donated by Wayne LaPierre (Sponsored by NRA)

* PRESIDENT BUSH WILL GIVE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH, standing on Osama's dead body.

POST CEREMONY CLOSING NIGHT PARTY OPPORTUNITIES:
- "GET MAXED WITH RUSH "ROCKET CAP" LIMBAUGH!" (Sponsored by Glaxo Smith Kline)

* RICK SANTORUM 'DOG ON DOG' PETTING ZOO (adults only, please)

* BILL O'REILLY SHOWS OFF PULITZER PRIZE, ACADEMY AWARD AND NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

* SPECIAL BUFFET - JOHN ASHCROFT WILL PERSONALLY EXORCISE A KINDLE OF CALICO KITTENS, BARBECUE THEM AND SERVE THEM AS CANAPES (sponsored by KRAFT "Thick N' ****y" BBQ Sauce)

 

[pgmatg]

Any informed person with a brain and a heart will vote for Kerry, or at least against Bush.
John Kerry has a Plan to Give Tax Breaks to Corporations who Keep their Companies in the U.S. Kerry is a thinking man, that knows that most political issues are complicated (nuanced). Also he realizes that rich can live without tax cuts, but the rest of us might actually need it. And health care should be a right not a luxury.
____________
Support the Change

 

[scarylarrywolf]

Any informed person with a brain and a heart will vote for Kerry, or at least against Bush.

Oh, what a caring, HEART-felt message from the left side. Thank you for informing us. I know -- John Kerry certainly is a thinking man; if he could just make-up his mind as to what he's thinking...

Geez, dudes! As I JUST said, insulting voters is a senseless, offensive thing to do.

CAN IT!

 

[MuppetsRule]

Any informed person with a brain and a heart will vote for Kerry, or at least against Bush.
John Kerry has a Plan to Give Tax Breaks to Corporations who Keep their Companies in the U.S. Kerry is a thinking man, that knows that most political issues are complicated (nuanced).

What an insulting post this is. To insinuate that anybody that chooses to vote for President Bush is either uninformed, without a brain, or without a heart is offensive. And to insinuate that Kerry is 'a thinking man' and thereby implying that President Bush is not is just as insulting.

While you may disagree with the policies of President Bush or with those that choose to vote for him, please do not imply that they are all clueless and uninformed. I know it might be hard for you to imagine, but some of them might even be more informed than you.

Everybody has a right to form their own opinion without you casting judgement on them.

 

[Crazy Harry]

Even I have to draw the line somewhere.

 

[McFraggle]

* TOM RIDGE raises National Alert Level to PULSATING RED

What about "Original Oscar the Grouch Orange?"

 

[scarylarrywolf]

Yes. Thankyou, Muppetsrule.

> "Whew!"

 

[tomahawk]

Geez, dudes! As I JUST said, insulting voters is a senseless, offensive thing to do.

CAN IT!






This should have been told to Jeb Bush and his cronies down in Florida.