Story 1 - Wishing for tradition...
Statler and Waldorf buttoned up their winter coats, and stamped into snow boots. It was time to leave. Outside the snow was piling up, and they were loth to leave the cosy fire-place and head into the cold. Statler looked at Waldorf as he tied a scarf firmly around his neck. "Why, Waldorf, hard to believe we're doing this again."
"Every year," Waldorf replied. "Goes faster."
"True, they say if you step outside every Christmas Eve..."
"You'll freeze," Waldorf said, laughing. He shoved his hand into the pockets of his coat.
Statler frowned. "And if you click your fingers, then do the same every year, then..."
"Anyone watching will think you've lost your marbles."
"Waldorf..."
"...Statler?"
Statler shook his head. "I was heading for a punch line."
"Sorry old friend. Speaking of punch..." Waldorf winked. "One more before we head out?"
"Why not, why not."
Waldorf ladeled rum-punch into glasses, and they rested in soft chairs and sipped, watching crackling flames burn bright from the fire.
"Reminds me of old," Waldorf said.
Statler coughed. "Do you remember your childhood?"
"Nope. I find it hard enough to remember my nurse."
"Your nanny?"
Waldor chuckled. "Nope. The nurse who visited yesterday."
Statler blinked. "A nurse came yesterday?" Then he laughed. "Had you on for a second there, Waldorf old man."
"You're a crook!"
"Well, your a bum."
"Don't start that again."
"We should go."
Wind rattled the windows. "Why?" Waldorf asked.
"It's...why it's...I don't know...why? Why! We always go."
"And you know what they say."
"No."
"Neither do I."
Statler scrunched up his face. "You know, do you remember when we first went to the farm house for christmas?"
"Some things you never forget."
"Yeah, like?"
"I don't remeber. Do, ho, ho...erm...sorry, Statler."
"I remeber it clearly."
*^*^*^*
"Merrily, merrily through the snow, chritmas bells are ringing, merrily here we go..."
The voice rang out clear as a bell, and the door bell rang clear as the voice.
Statler got up, grumbling, "More trick or treaters I suppose."
"Well, Statler, we still have a few tricks for them yet."
"Such as?"
"Oh, never mind. Get the door."
Statler opened the door, and saw a small girl bear with flushed rosey cheaks, and bright eyes. "Merry Christmas, and a happy new year!" the bear said. She grabbed Statlers hand and started pumping. "My name is Emily Bear. I'm on holiday here. Is this your house? In this forsaken valley? I could 'bear' to live here. Wocka, wocka!"
Statler opened his mouth, but was interupted by Emily continueing. "I'm on holiday with my uncle. But he decided to hibernate. I'm an explorer. And a carol-singer. A bear-of-all-trades." She pushed the door open and stepped into the front door. "Small bungalow, I must say. Oh, look, where's your tree? Don't you have one? I could 'branch' out and cut one down for you as a winter holiday job, for a moment I was 'stumped' for a pun, and thought I'd have to 'leaf' it at that. Wocka, Wocka!"
Waldorf stepped out of the kitchen with a mug of tea. "Who?" he started.
"No fire? No tree? No decorations?" Emily Bear skipped across the room, and peeked into the kitchen. "Nope, I thought not. No miseltoe." She pecked Waldorf on the cheack. "Old men simply don't know how to look after themselves. You'd better come to my house for christmas."
"What, but..." Statler started.
"But, what..." Waldof finished.
Emily Bear rushed out the door, and ran back with a branch in her hand, green leaves and red berries adorned it. "Gentlemen, it's my 'holly'day with that you join me."
And what could they say to that?
*^*^*^*
"She grew up, of course," Statler said. "And moved here."
"And started child'bear'ing," Waldorf added.
"Yup, and we never missed a christmas, even if we did miss a christmas, do ho ho."
"You know, Statler...I think she had better puns than us."
"Never!"
"Oh yes."
"Oh no!"
"Oh yes!"
Statler stood up. "Come on, we better move, old man. Her Fozzie will be home. We can out-pun them both."
"After all, it's part of the tradition," Waldorf said.
"Yup."
"Statler...?"
"...Waldorf?"
"What was the punch line?"
"Oh, um, every year you click, until at my time of life your..." he started to laugh. "Your clicker is faster than..." he laughed harder. "Than your ticker."
Waldorf frowned. "That's not funny."
"Yes it is. it's was a good punch line."
"Speaking of punch..."
"Oh no, we are leaving now."
"One more glass?"
"Oh, alright," Statler grumbled. They headed back to the sitting room.
Later they arrived, and Emily was at the door waiting. "My two old gentlemen," she smiled. "So nice to see you, but...Watch out for that icey patch."
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but bigger. And female. Oh, what a heartwarming tale! I want to give it a hug. I loved all the punch lines! And speaking of punch... <laughs>
