When Fozzie Lost His Funny

[Java]

I guess we're all busy as we take up our "fall" schedules and are trying to get back into the swing of things. So many have classes that they are going to on top of the many other things they have to juggle.

Oh, well. Post more when you can!

 

[christyb]

Caught up on this one! Great job. I can't wait to read more. I'm sorry I'm not posting good reviews..I'm just really busy.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Oh! Oh my gosh! First of all, I can't believe I missed this yesterday and second of all, Wanda and Rowlf and the jokes and wow! I love the line "cat nap? But you're a dog" and then "I learned a thing or two from Wanda" then "what did you teach her" followed by "puppy love!" I love it when someone references my stories! It makes me really wish I had some time to write in mine right now....

In all seriousness though, I love the moment you captured with just Rowlf, Kermit and Gonzo. Nice to see how deep their friendship lies and like Kermit, I too sometimes like a moment with our oldest friends who have been with the Muppets the longest. I like how you explored the concept of family which has been a main theme in many stories here at MC. Really nice work Mark, I can't wait to read more. And maybe one of these days I'll finally be able to write some more in mine too.

 

[MarkFraggle]

Chapter Ten

I should warn you, this is a short-ish update. Um, and it's not ... well, funny. Or happy. I don't like writing sad stuff, and I'm not very good at it, so you can be sure it won't happen very often at all. But this one sorta had to happen. You know, plot necessity and whatnot. Sorry ...

Chapter Ten

In his heart, Fozzie Bear knew it wasn't the lack of a lover which was causing his current breakdown. The truth was a far darker, more sinister concept which Fozzie rarely allowed himself to contemplate. He'd been battling with it for months, shoving it underneath a new excuse each time it reared up in the back of his mind.

When he first realized it, he rationalized it away as a simple case of the blues. He ignored it, and the busy pace of life with the Muppets allowed him to forget about it for a time.

The next time it surfaced, he blamed it on an argument he'd had earlier in the day. Again, rationalization allowed him to ignore the truth for a bit. When it showed up again, he reasoned he was simply over worked. The next time, it was a lack of sleep. Then, a lack of variety in his life. Seasonal depression. Poor lighting in his apartment. No girlfriend. The excuses piled up until finally, Fozzie reached the breaking point.

Afraid to confront the truth, but unable to escape it any longer, Fozzie came face to face with the knowledge he'd been fleeing for months. And it terrified him. Not knowing what to do, Fozzie Bear fled.

And now, here he was. Somewhere in the forest outside the old, abandoned hibernating caves. He'd hitch-hiked and taxi-ed until roads could carry him no closer, and then he'd simply walked into the heart of the familiar forest. He had thought he would hibernate for a while -- one last chance to hide from his own mind -- but he'd been unable to sleep. So instead he walked to a nearby clearing and stood alone with his thoughts.

You've lost it, said a terrible voice in the back of his mind - a voice which was his own, but without an ounce of happiness or cheer. It is gone, and you don't know how to get it back. You can't get it back.

"No, that isn't true!" Fozzie Bear protested weakly. But he knew it was, and the voice knew it too.

Yes it is, mocked the voice. Fozzie Bear, the dream is over. You've lost your charm ...

"NO!" He shouted into the emptiness in front of him.

You've lost your shine ...

"NO!"

You've lost your music ...

"NO!"

You've lost your funny ...

"NO! NO! NO!"

And you've lost ...

"NOOOOOO! Don't! Don't say it!" Fozzie screamed at the voice. At himself.

Oh, yes. It is gone.

"NOOO! It can't be! I can't live without it! I won't go back to what it was like before! I won't!" The last sentence came out barely above a whisper, as Fozzie choked on his own tears.

You must, the voice chuckled gleefully. You have no choice.

"Stop it." Fozzie begged, his pleading voice sounding pathetic in his ears as he spoke to his own mind. "Please stop. Please! You can't do this to me. Don't do this to me."

But it is true.

"I know," the bear whimpered. "I know its true. But please don't make me think it. Don't make me hear it. Just let me hide. Let me go. I can't take it!" Fozzie had run out of tears but he continued to cry, heaving enormous, dry sobs.

Fozzie ...

Fozzie sank to his knees and clamped his hands over his ears, shaking his head back and forth in a mute and meaningless protest. The voice -- his voice -- continued speaking in his mind clear as a bell, and he could do nothing to stop it. He'd dodged it for months, but he finally had to face the truth.

The magic is gone.

When the voice finally said it, Fozzie thought for sure his mind would destroy itself. Never in his life had he experienced such true, perfect anguish. He was distraught, terrified, and slowly slipping towards insanity.

The very instant he first met Kermit, Fozzie had known there was something special about the frog. Life happened to most people ... but Kermit the Frog happened to life. The world ached to be inhabited by him; everywhere the frog went, the earth rose to meet his feet as if his feet were the reason for its very existence. People ached to be touched by his greatness; anyone who saw him or heard him felt, for a small time, as if the world were truly magic.

And those who spent significant time with him ... well, the magic rubbed off on them. Being with Kermit meant you could experience the magic too. You could hardly deny it, you had only to look at the Muppets for proof. They were an odd, motley collection of weirdoes who individually would never had aspired to greatness. Yet one by one they were pulled to Kermit's side, called out of obscurity by the magic which emanated from his very existence. And when they joined him, they were allowed to become part of something great -- part of Kermit's dream -- part of the magic. And it was beautiful, beautiful beyond understanding. But you didn't have to understand it, you just had to share the dream.

Fozzie had been nothing; a failing, two-bit comedian with no prospects whatsoever. And suddenly, for no reason he could fathom beyond the twisting of fate, Kermit the Frog had entered his life. Before Fozzie knew what has happening, he'd been swept up by the magic. The friendship between Kermit and Fozzie was instant and strong, and other friends came as well. Piggy, Gonzo, Rowlf, Scooter, Rizzo, the Mayhem; more friends than he'd ever dreamed possible. And fueled by Kermit's magic, they swept the world, never stopping to realize how impossible what they were doing should actually be. The magic carried them all, and the dream led them forward.

So this is the price you finally pay, the voice told Fozzie. You let the magic in, you should have known it would eventually leave. Nothing could be that good, that perfect, forever.

"Yes," Fozzie admitted to himself in a sad, scared whisper. "I let it in, and now it is done with me. And I'm afraid I can't live without it."

 

[Java]

I should warn you, this is a short-ish update. Um, and it's not ... well, funny. Or happy. I don't like writing sad stuff, and I'm not very good at it, so you can be sure it won't happen very often at all. But this one sorta had to happen. You know, plot necessity and whatnot. Sorry...

DO NOT APOLOGIZE. It's what writers have to do. After all, just look at what I'm doing to Gonzo and Camilla in The Great Desire. And so many of the writers here have put our Muppets through the wringer.

As for the good at it part, I know you may think that. I thank that about my writing. But as I read this chapter, it read very true to how Fozzie is and what he would react like in depression. This is very well written.

Also, don't worry about length. You can only write what proves to be good for the chapter. Unless you think you can get in more beneficial details, length doesn't matter.

Now, I'm going to sit back and semi-patiently wait for when you can post more. Oh, and great chapter!

 

[redBoobergurl]

Oy...good thing you put a disclaimer on that chapter. While it was very heartwrenching I handled it better because I knew something was coming like that. Wow, some very good, very deep writing going here Mark. Now we've found the heart of Fozzie's problem, but the question is, how are we going to fix it? Keep it coming, please!!

 

[MarkFraggle]

Oooh, I've been such a slacker. More coming soon, promises!

And goodness, methinks I need to start posting somewhere other than fanfic. You people are fun, I really ought to get to know you a bit.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Yes we are really fun! Try us, you'll like us! Or something like that....anyway, looking forward to more updates and I saw the review you left in my story, I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

 

[MarkFraggle]

Chapter Eleven

chapter Eleven

Miss Piggy breezed into the Muppet theater as rehearsal for the Special was in full swing. It had taken her almost a full extra day to find a reasonable flight back home, and she was not pleased. Her eyes swept across the theater looking for her frog. She saw the Mayhem tuning up, Rizzo and Pepe laughing together dressed newspaper reporters, Link in his Pigs in Space outfit, Scooter and Sara practicing a dancing routine, Clifford dashing about in a frenzy and a dozen other acts being geared up, but no Kermit.

"Kermie!" she called out sweetly. "Kermie, where are vous?"

There was no answer, although several folks glanced up, surprised to see Piggy home early.

"Keeermit," she called a bit more testily. "Kermie, I'm back early."

The only reply was a loud crash as Animal broke through his sixth drumhead of the morning.

"GET OUT HERE, FROG!" Piggy demanded, her very small reserves of patience already exhausted from this brief moment of not getting what she expected and wanted.

At last somebody realized what was going on, and Scooter and Sara broke from their step memorizing to talk to Piggy. Scooter practically cringed as he opened the conversation.

"Um ... Hey, Miss Piggy. You're back early."

"Can it, four-eyes. Where's the frog?"

"Sorry, Miss Piggy," Sara stepped in. "Kermit left early yesterday."

"What?!" Miss Piggy was shaking with rage. "You mean moi left my commercial gig for that frog and he isn't even here?!"

"Piggy," asked Sara gently, "did Kermit know you were coming?"

"Weeeeell, no, not exactly," admitted Piggy. "Not as such."

"Nobody here expected you home yet," chimed in Scooter.

"Well moi am here," snapped Miss Piggy, reclaiming a bit of her righteous indignation. "Can vous at least tell moi where he went?"

"Um ... " Scooter glanced at Sara, who shook her head with an I'm sorry look on her face. "No," Scooter admitted. "He went looking for Fozzie. We don't know where, though."

"Vous are absolutely worthless!" shouted Piggy, and Scooter cringed again. "Where's Rowlf? He should know something."

"Rowlf went with Kermit."

Miss Piggy's growl was audible. "Fine, then where is the weirdo? Maybe Kermit mentioned something to him."

"Uh ... well ... Gonzo, too. All three of them went."

Miss Piggy was shaking, her rage shining from her like brilliant rays shine from the sun.

"Do vous mean to tell moi," she asked in a carefully controlled tone of anger, "that my frog went on the road, with every one of his oldest and dearest friends, WITHOUT MOI?"

"Well ... I ... guess so," stammered Scooter, having lost all control over the conversation.

Piggy wound up for what was sure to be a vicious karate chop, but Sara stepped in again before she could deliver.

"They didn't take Scooter either, Miss Piggy. Or the Mayhem. It wasn't like they were planning some grand reunion adventure, they just wanted to find Fozzie because they all care about him so much. Just like you do," she gently reminded the pig.

Piggy lowered her arm, but the glaze of fury did not leave her eyes. "I suppose vous are right," she muttered angrily, only slightly mollified. "Fine," she declared regally. "Then I think moi would like to speak with Pepe."

"Pepe?" asked Scooter and Sara simultaneously.

"Why do you need to talk to Pepe?" asked a confused Scooter.

"Do NOT test moi's patience, Scooter."

"Right, Miss Piggy! You got it!" Scooter saluted and dashed off to interrupt Pepe and Rizzo's rehearsal. A moment later, Pepe sauntered over.

"Jou want Pepe?" he asked. "Make it quick, hokay? Rizzo and I must rehearse our Pizza Twins sketch, hokay."

Miss Piggy glowered down at the king prawn, who finally noticed the rage behind her eyes.

"Vous are the reason Fozzie ran away, right?" she asked him.

"This is not exactly correct, hokay? I was only..."

"RIGHT?!," demanded Piggy. It was more of a statement than a question.

Pepe nodded shamefully. "It is true," he moaned in only half faked humility. "I ruined Fozzie's life, hokay! But I am trying to make up for it, hokay? I am ..."

"Hi-yah!" screamed Miss Piggy, delivering a devastating chop which sent the prawn flying across the room, arms flailing.

Piggy pulled her gloves back up her wrists, adjusted her hair, and sighed mightily.

"Moi feels much better now, thanks," she said sweetly to Scooter. "A little telephone call should clear all this up."

Piggy fished in her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She flipped it open, and after admiring a background image of herself for a few seconds, punched in the quick-dial combo for Kermit's phone.

A beat went by, and the opening strains of Ernie's hit I Don't Want to Live on the Moon --Kermit's all-time favorite ringtone -- wafted softly out of the office. Miss Piggy exchanged suspicious glances with Scooter and Sara, then quickly crashed the office.

"Kermit?" she demanded as she thrust through the door. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw Kermit's phone sitting on his desk, sweetly singing away. "Dumb frog," she muttered.

Sara came up behind Piggy. "I'm sorry, Piggy," she said, and she gave the pig a quick hug as she turned around. "We'll hear from him before too long, I'm sure."

"Vous are probably right," admitted Miss Piggy. "Just hate that moi can't help my frog."

"I understand," Sara said to Piggy. "C'mon, we'll slip down to the canteen and grab some ice cream while I fill you in on everything you missed."

Piggy nodded, and the two headed off together as the Electric Mayhem laid into a hard rock beat.

~~~Meanwhile~~~ ​

Kermit awoke as Rowlf parked the car. He sat up and looked around him, and it took him a few seconds to gather his thoughts. He was about to ask where he was when he saw Emily Bear bustling out of her front door to greet the travelers.

"Oh, right," Kermit said to himself. "Looking for Fozzie."

He shook the cobwebs out of his head and climbed out of the car along with Rowlf and Gonzo. The three exchanged warm hugs with Emily, who had long ago adopted the roll of back-up mother for her son's best friends.

"Oh, welcome back, kids, welcome back. It's so good to see you again. How're my boys?"

"Good to be back!" said Gonzo, meaning it very sincerely. "Do you mind if I set up my travel canon out here? I've been meaning to test it out, and you've got such a nice yard."

"It's good to see you again too, Ma," chuckled Rowlf.

"We're doing just fine," Kermit assured her.

"That's great to hear, Kermit. Wish we could say the same about my Fozzie, eh? I imagine that's why you're here, right?"

The three guys nodded solemnly.

"It is why we are here," admitted Kermit. "But we're excited to visit with you too, ma."

"Such good boys," said Emily happily. "Why don't you come on in? I'll put on some tea while we wait for the muffins to come out of the oven."

"Muffins?" asked Gonzo hopefully. "Gee, what haven't had anything to eat since ... since ... since ..."

"...since the canteen," Rowlf reminded him.

"Blueberry Muffins," said Emily teasingly. "I was just putting the first batch in when I heard you rolling down the driveway. Now c'mon inside, boys. We need to talk about my Fozzie."

They walked inside, and Gonzo went goggle-eyed over an enormous bowl of muffin mix on the counter.

"Wowee! How many muffins do you eat, Ma?" he asked.

"Oh, usually I only make a dozen or so," said Emily. "But I had a feeling you boys might be showing up, so I made a few extra."

"A few?" asked an amused Rowlf. "Looks like enough to feed an army. Or Sweetums."

"Well, can't ever be sure how many of you are going to show up," pointed out Emily.

Gonzo nodded happily in agreement. "But there are only three of us," he said excitedly, his mind already doing the easy math.

"I guess you'll just have to eat a few extra then," said Emily, reading the weirdo's mind. "And I can send some along in a bag with you when you leave."

"Whoopie!"

A few hours later, a large pile of freshly baked muffins sat on the kitchen table, nearly hiding the entire tabletop. The trio had filled in Emily on everything they knew. Rowlf and Kermit continued in pow-wow with Emily in her living room, trying to plot out their next step, while Gonzo couldn't take his eyes off the muffins in the next room. He'd already downed quite a number, but a thought had been slowly forming in the back of his mind and he just couldn't shake it. Finally, he stood up.

"I'll be right back," he announced to the room, and he hurried out to the kitchen. When he got to the table, he pulled his shirt out in front of him and stacked as many muffins as he could into the makeshift carry space. When he reached max capacity, he tottered toward the front door, spilling muffins behind him.

Once outside, he put his brilliant plan into action. He shoved a muffin fully down the barrel of his travel canon and sighted it against spot on a nearby tree. When he had it lined up he ran to the tree, sat down so his head was level with the spot he'd plotted out, opened his mouth, and pushed the remote launch button. The flaming muffin erupted from the canon and shot towards Gonzo, splattering all over his face upon impact.

"Yes!" cheered Gonzo. "Perfect! Delicious!" He wiped his face clean, licking as much as he could from around his mouth. "I gotta use this in my new act!"

Gonzo spent the next 40 minutes experimenting with his new muffin canon, adjusting it to try muffin-catching at various arcs and angles. His favorite so far was pointing the canon nearly upright and launching a muffin towards the sky, then seeing if he could position himself appropriately to catch it as it fell back earthward.

Kermit, Rowlf, and Emily emerged from the house to see Gonzo racing around the front yard, looking straight up at the sky with his mouth open. He was covered in muffin and blueberry, and surrounded by a minefield of splattered muffins he had failed to catch.

"Gonzo!" shouted Kermit just as Gonzo took a direct hit. The force of the impact knocked the little weirdo off his feet and he crashed to the ground with an enormous grin.

"Right in the kisser!" Gonzo declared proudly. "That's my third catch in a row."

"Gonzo," said Kermit sternly, "Clean this mess up. We need to get moving."

"No, no, Kermit," said a bemused Emily. "Don't worry about cleanin' it up. The birds and critters will take care of it. They'll love the treat."

Kermit smiled at Emily. "Okay, you got it. And thanks again for your help."

"And for the muffins!" said Gonzo as he folded his canon back up.

"Oh, you are very welcome, boys. You take care of my Fozzie once you find him, okay? And tell him to call his mother! And come back again any time. You don't need to wait for somethin' awful to happen just to visit me."

"We'll be back soon, Ma," promised Rowlf as the three old friends piled back into his car. Rowlf turned the key and started it up.

"Wait boys, I almost forgot!" said Emily excitedly. She hurried back into the house and returned with a sack full of her blueberry muffins. "This way, my boys won't have to wait so long before they eat again," she explained as she handed the sack to Gonzo.

"Thanks, ma," they all chorused. Kermit and Gonzo turned and waved furiously out the back window as Rowlf drove up the driveway. Emily smiled and waved too, until her boys hit a turn and were out of sight.

"Such good boys," she said to herself. "I'm so glad Fozzie has friends like them to take care of him." A small tear escaped the corner of her eye and slipped down her cheek.

"Now now, Emily, no need to worry," she admonished herself. "Kermit will find him."

Gonzo and Kermit turned back around as Emily's house disappeared around the corner.

"Where are we going, Kermit?" asked Gonzo curiously. "Did Emily have any ideas?"

"She sure did," said Kermit. "She told us about the family hibernating caves. Said Fozzie used to go there all the time when he wanted to be alone."

Rowlf nodded from the driver's seat. "And it isn't too far away," he added. "We should be able to get there in just a few hours."

"Oh good," said Gonzo. "I hope he’s there."

"So do I, Gonzo," said Kermit. "So do I."

 

[redBoobergurl]

Oh this chapter most certainly deserves a detailed review and I just happen to have the time to give it!

She saw the Mayhem tuning up, Rizzo and Pepe laughing together dressed newspaper reporters, Link in his Pigs in Space outfit, Scooter and Sara practicing a dancing routine, Clifford dashing about in a frenzy and a dozen other acts being geared up, but no Kermit.

Very descriptive, I could see Piggy going through and scanning each individual scene and pausing on each looking for Kermit.

"Can it, four-eyes. Where's the frog?"

Good insult, she's really angry!

"Do vous mean to tell moi," she asked in a carefully controlled tone of anger, "that my frog went on the road, with every one of his oldest and dearest friends, WITHOUT MOI?"

Uh-oh, Scooter better duck...I like that even Piggy recognizes that those two along with Fozzie are Kermit's oldest and dearest friends. That's how I've always pictured it anyway.

"Then I think moi would like to speak with Pepe."

Pepe? Interesting choice....

"Jou want Pepe?" he asked. "Make it quick, hokay? Rizzo and I must rehearse our Pizza Twins sketch, hokay."

Pizza Twins! GMC reference! I'm assuming that's why they were dressed as newspaper reporters earlier on in the chapter too.

"Kermit?" she demanded as she thrust through the door. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw Kermit's phone sitting on his desk, sweetly singing away. "Dumb frog," she muttered.

Kermit was so distressed about his friend, he left behind his phone! Very humorous though with Piggy thrusting through the door to find the phone on the desk.

"Muffins?" asked Gonzo hopefully. "Gee, what haven't had anything to eat since ... since ... since ..."

MUFFINS!!! Oh I'm excited now, you are just awesome Mark, you totally get the muffin thing...

Once outside, he put his brilliant plan into action. He shoved a muffin fully down the barrel of his travel canon and sighted it against spot on a nearby tree. When he had it lined up he ran to the tree, sat down so his head was level with the spot he'd plotted out, opened his mouth, and pushed the remote launch button. The flaming muffin erupted from the canon and shot towards Gonzo, splattering all over his face upon impact.

A muffin cannon!!!! You really do pay attention around here don't you? And Gonzo using it! That's great, especially when the muffin splattered all over his face. I love his reaction "gotta use this in the show" as well! Comedy gold!!!

Overall, a great chapter. Good humor back at the theatre, good friendship stuff going on with Kermit, Rowlf and Gonzo. Now to find that bear, hurry up guys!