"Unpaved" isn't coming back, Big Bird

[mikealan]

(On The Muppets, in the summer of 2003, the Newscaster rushes in for a big newsflash about Sesame Street Unpaved)

NEWSCASTER: And now, here's a Muppet Newsflash! On May 26, 2003, "Sesame Street Unpaved", the classic series from the first twenty years of the ever popular children's show "Sesame Street" has been cancelled by Noggin, a television network owned by Nickelodeon. The series has been cancelled because Noggin is no longer owned by Sesame Workshop. It is now owned by 100% Nick Jr. and is now a 12-hour preschool block from 6:00 AM-6:00 PM! The N is also on this channel, which it is an evening block from 6:00 PM-6:00 AM! "Sesame Street" fans worked on the petition but the people from Noggin never listen to them....(a huge television set lands on him!)

 

[mikealan]

(On Christmas of 2003, the Muppets had a great time celebrating Christmas except Kermit, who got so upset that "Sesame Street Unpaved" was off Noggin)

JOHNNY FIAMA: Hey, it's the frog! Come and sing with us!

KERMIT: I don't feel like singing right now.

SAL MANILLA: Oh c'mon Kermit, my newest best friend in the whole world! There's nothing wrong here in our Christmas party!

MISS PIGGY: Oh Kermie, would you like to dance with me?...

KERMIT: Piggy...

MISS PIGGY: Oh, maybe we could have a cup of tea together...

KERMIT: Piggy...

MISS PIGGY: Maybe in one moment, we could have a big Christmas dinner...

KERMIT: (Yelling at Piggy) PIGGY!!! WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

(Piggy begins to feel upset and runs away from Kermit)

GONZO: (tugging Kermit's arm) Kermit...what's wrong?

FOZZIE: Wow! You're in a bad mood, Kermit! At least Ms. Bitterman isn't here this Christmas...

KERMIT: Well, I'm sorry to tell you this guys....(long pause) Our show for our friends from "Sesame Street" called "Sesame Street Unpaved" was off Noggin! Right after 1:00 AM, I thought this show would be on forever, but it wasn't on anymore! Now, we lost the memories of our creator Jim Henson, our old live-actor friends Mr. Hooper and David, and the songs by Joe Raposo....we lost everything from the golden days of Sesame Street.

ROBIN: But I have all 67 episodes from this show, Uncle Kermit. I caught them from Noggin and they're all complete, in high quality, and had no pixelation glitches.

KERMIT: Nope. This is not the same.

SCOOTER: You're right about "Sesame Street Unpaved", boss.

KERMIT: How come?

SCOOTER: Well, Sesame Workshop doesn't have their share of Noggin's ownership anymore. It's now completely owned by Nick Jr. Unpaved is officially off the air, boss.

KERMIT: But why it's officially off the air, Scooter?

SCOOTER: Noggin is now officially a 12-hour Nick Jr. block and on that channel, I discovered that the N is an evening high school block.

KERMIT: Well, thanks Scooter. (walking away)

FOZZIE: Where are you going, Kermit?

KERMIT: I'm going to tell Piggy that I'm sorry that I yelled at her!

FOZZIE: Well why do you want to do that to her?

KERMIT: Scooter told me what happened to Noggin!

GONZO: What's Noggin, Kermit?

KERMIT: It's a television channel. It used to be owned by Sesame Workshop and Nick Jr. Now it's half Nick Jr. and half the N. Good bye! (Exits, the Muppets continue to celebrate Christmas.)

THE END

 

[salemfan]

GORDON: Just because they sold two billion Chicken Dance Elmo dolls last year.

What does, "They sold two billion Chicken Dance Elmo dolls last year" have to do with why Sesame Street Unpaved had to be canceled?

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

I've been wondering the same thing.

 

[ILuVERNIE]

how do people write skits?! i've tried and failed...

 

[BillKal]

A little off-topic but....

In our area we have a Traffic Guy on TV who's name is MARK THE SHARK!!! He won't even give his last name on TV. Just MARK THE SHARK!

 

[Larcen Tyler]

(SCENE: A house, presumably late at night, as the moon can be seen outside the window. The sound of Cookie Monster singing 'dum dee dum dum dum dee dum' can be heard as he comes in, wearing blue and white striped pajamas and a matching nightcap, holding a box of cookies and a large glass bottle of milk.)

Cookie Monster: Me can't sleep, so me watch TV with cookie and milk!

(He sits down on his couch, facing his TV. The back of the TV is towards us)

Cookie Monster: Hmmm, now what me watch? What good to watch with cookie and milk? Ahh, I know! Me watch Sesame Street Unpaved!

(He reaches down and takes out his remote control and turns on the TV with it. The sound of various channels changing is heard.)

Cookie Monster: Hmmm, which channel show Sesame Street Unpaved? Oh yeah, Noggin show it! Me use noggin to find Noggin! Ha ha ha ha!

(More channels changing.)

Cookie Monster: Here Noggin... What, no Sesame Street Unpaved? When it on again?

(He fiddles with the remote)

Cookie Monster: Me check onscreen guide- What, it cancelled?! (begins to cry) Me favorite show to watch cancelled! Me can't eat cookies and drink milk while watching Sesame Street Unpaved anymore! (he continues to cry for a bit more before realizing something) Hey, me no need to cry, me can watch Three Stooges while eating cookie and drinking milk!

(He fiddles with the remote again and the sounds of the antics of the Three Stooges can be heard.)

Cookie Monster: Ha ha ha! Me like stooges, and me like cookie!

(He begins eating his cookies as we end with a musical tune.)

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

More money generated by merchandise sold than eyeballs glued to Sesame Street Unpaved. Not cost effective to keep a show on with low ratings, even if its on at 4AM, maybe they just figure that its more cost effective to concentrate on all the current characters, bits, ect rather on past classics

Okay. I think I get it now. Thanks, Steve.

 

[ssetta]

(SCENE: A house, presumably late at night, as the moon can be seen outside the window. The sound of Cookie Monster singing 'dum dee dum dum dum dee dum' can be heard as he comes in, wearing blue and white striped pajamas and a matching nightcap, holding a box of cookies and a large glass bottle of milk.)

Cookie Monster: Me can't sleep, so me watch TV with cookie and milk!

(He sits down on his couch, facing his TV. The back of the TV is towards us)

Cookie Monster: Hmmm, now what me watch? What good to watch with cookie and milk? Ahh, I know! Me watch Sesame Street Unpaved!

(He reaches down and takes out his remote control and turns on the TV with it. The sound of various channels changing is heard.)

Cookie Monster: Hmmm, which channel show Sesame Street Unpaved? Oh yeah, Noggin show it! Me use noggin to find Noggin! Ha ha ha ha!

(More channels changing.)

Cookie Monster: Here Noggin... What, no Sesame Street Unpaved? When it on again?

(He fiddles with the remote)

Cookie Monster: Me check onscreen guide- What, it cancelled?! (begins to cry) Me favorite show to watch cancelled! Me can't eat cookies and drink milk while watching Sesame Street Unpaved anymore! (he continues to cry for a bit more before realizing something) Hey, me no need to cry, me can watch Three Stooges while eating cookie and drinking milk!

(He fiddles with the remote again and the sounds of the antics of the Three Stooges can be heard.)

Cookie Monster: Ha ha ha! Me like stooges, and me like cookie!

(He begins eating his cookies as we end with a musical tune.)

Well, in my opinion, the Three Stooges isn't as good as classic Sesame Street.

 

[TotallySpiesFan]

Big Bird: So, where's Sesame Unpaved? I wanna watch it on Noggin.
Bob: Well, Big Bird, Unpaved is canceled.
Big Bird: Oh, okay. Well, I'll watch it the next time it comes back on.