"Unpaved" isn't coming back, Big Bird

[wiley207]

(Screen shows "News Flash" graphic with lightning and stars. Music and Morse Code combination is heard.)

ANNOUNCER: And now we bring you Kermit the Frog with a breaking news bulletin.

(Screen fades to Kermit in a room with a large TV screen and a bunch of assorted Muppets. A window suggests its night time with a moon out.)

KERMIT: (to the others) ...so you see this is a flat-screen plasma TV. It must have taken a lot of plasma donors to... What's that? We're on camera? Why the heck doesn't someone ever cue me before the blasted red light comes on for a change.

KERMIT: (to the camera) Ha..h.h.h. Hi-ho, this is Kermit the Frog here, and I'm here about to watch some TV. But this is no ordinary TV, you see it has something called "digital cable", which means it has Noggin. Now you see, Noggin is a...

MUPPET #1: (interrupts) A noggin is a name for your head, right frog? (knocks on Kermit's head)

KERMIT: No, no. Noggin is a channel on digital cable channel that shows... (camera turns to clock on the wall, shows 3 minutes to 1:00) Oh wait, it's almost 1:00 in the morning, time to watch Sesame Street Unpaved. This is a great show! It shows me on Sesame Street from many years ago. Like the time I crashed a Twiddlebug party. Or when I built a Rube Goldberg machine with a sandbag and a see-saw to turn on the radio. Or even the time I tricked Grover into climbing a flight of stairs that was so high it traversed cumulus clouds...

GROVER: (distant voice, off-camera) That was not funny, you know.

KERMIT: It was when I took the elevator. But now we can see all these again right on Unpaved. So let's turn on the TV. Uhh, someone hand me the remote. (Anything Muppet hands him one. Presses button, we hear a faint roaring sound) No no, that one opens the garage door. (Kermit is handed another remote. Jazzy music plays, then stops) Uh, no, that turns on the CD player (another remote, we hear a toilet flush sound) Wait, that's not it either (another remote, turns on the TV with channel 255 onscreen) OK, here we are.

(an inane cartoon runs onscreen. Muppets start chattering disapprovingly)

KERMIT: (makes his scrunched-up face) Hmmm, something doesn't appear to be, correct here. (presses channel recall button, number appears in corner of screen) We're on the right channel. 1 a.m. is supposed to be when Sesame Street Unpaved is on. HEY, ANYONE GOT THE TV GUIDE. (an avalanche of magazines is thrown at him) Let's see this thing... it looks like, Sesame Street Unpaved... has been paved over. There's gotta be some mistake. How are we gonna see the time I made a machine with a plate of cookies, 3 levers, a mallot, and a waterspout to see how smart Cookie Monster was. Or the time Bob brought me a bullfrog and I told him about fried chicken and pizza and how mudholes made your floors filthy and uh... I WANNA TALK TO SOMEONE FROM NOGGIN.

(Beautiful Day Monster appears in a suit and tie)

BDM: You looking for me frog? I'm da programming director from Nickelodeon.

KERMIT: You bet I do, mister. You gotta talk to your master controller. I turn on the TV to watch Unpaved, and all I get is this nonsense. (motions at inane cartoon onscreen) There must have been a mixup in your tape library.

BDM: Uh-uh. Look at your TV GUIDE again. Sesame Street Unpaved CANCELLED.

KERMIT: B-But, you can't cancel Unpaved!

BDM: You can when da ratings drop and sales of Elmo doll skyrocket. And now I gonna cancel YOU!

(Beautiful Day Monster chases Kermit around room, as other Muppets cheer either side on)

KERMIT: Hey, watch the microphone cord. And that TV set is rented, watch it. Uhhh, this is Kermit the Frog returning you to your regularly scheduled program.

Ha ha, you know your news flashes! I will try one, except with a different setting and premise (still focusing on "Unpaved"'s cancelation.)


(The Sesame Street "NEWS FLASH" logo appears with its theme music.)

Announcer: We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast-breaking news story!

(The scene changes to outside the Nickelodeon office building. Kermit, in his trenchcoat and hat, is talking into a microphone while a huge crowd of Anything Muppets and some classic Sesame Street characters are there.)

Kermit: ...we're going into the offices of Noggin to give them a piece of my mind. What? We're now on camera? AARGH! I started too EARLY! Oh well... Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here, and we are standing outside the Nickelodeon building, home of the digital cable network Noggin. As you can see, as of 2003, Noggin canceled a great TV show, “Sesame Street Unpaved,” which featured classic 1969-1989 “Sesame Street” episodes, where all my previous news bulletins debuted. They also showed 90s “Sesame Street” episodes on a separate program, as well as classic Children Television Workshop programming, like “The Electric Company” and “3-2-1 Contact.” The shows may have been edited, and they got rid of the old CTW logos in favor of the new “Sesame Workshop” ident, but it was a great way to see the old shows. The shows replacing this content are basically stuff that is shown on Nick Jr., like “Dora the Explorer” and “Blue’s Clues,” and in the nighttime hours, hip teenage program reruns like “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” and “Daria.” Now that “Sesame Unpaved” is off the air, a bunch of classic “Sesame Street” fans are here and we’re going into the offices of Noggin to give them a piece of my mind. Did you get that? Good. Now let’s interview some people.

(Kermit walks up to Simon Soundman!)

Kermit: Excuse me, are you here to convince them to get “Sesame Unpaved” back on the air?

Simon Soundman: Of course I am! They are all (makes a cuckoo clock sound effect)! They got rid of the show that featured ME in it! The programming replacing it is like watching (does the sound of static.)

Kermit: Ah, I can see that. Here’s another fine fellow. (goes up to Don Music)

Don Music: Oh, I can’t believe they won’t air my skits anymore! And it’s all because I NEVER get it right! Never, never, never! (violently bangs his head on a tree and the tree falls down!)

Kermit: Uh, do you think your head-banging is the reason why they canceled the show?

Don Music: Good heavens no! It’s a GREAT way to express your anger! Try it someday!

Kermit: So these are the words of various people who want the show to be back on the air. Now to go into the office and…

Miss Piggy: (offscreen) Wait, Kermie!

Kermit: (as Miss Piggy runs in) Uh, Piggy my beloved, why are you here? You’re not a Sesame Street character, and…

Miss Piggy: I just want to wish you good luck in getting “Sesame Unpaved” on the air again. Then I can see how you were on the show! (kisses him and runs off)

Kermit: Well, ladies and gentlemen, that is my wife, Miss Piggy. Anyways, to Noggin!

(Everyone goes into the office building. They come over to two elevators.)

Kermit: OK, the Noggin office is on the fourth floor. We will split up. Me and a third of the group will take this elevator, the other third will take the other elevator, and the other third will go up the stairs.

(They go up. Now at the fourth floor, the elevator doors open in unison and the Muppets march out, and the door to the stairwell opens, too, as panting Muppets come out. They walk down the hall and come up to a door labeled “OFFICES OF NOGGIN/THE N.”)

Kermit: Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. Here we go!

(They enter, but then they all gasp in horror. The boss is… ELMO!)

Kermit: ELMO!!!!!!

Elmo: (on the phone) Yes, lovely lady, and tell them to start showing ‘Survivor’ on N. And also tell Sesame guy to rename company Elmo Workshop! Bye-bye. (gets off the phone) What you angry men doing here?

Everyone except Elmo: WE WANT “SESAME UNPAVED” BACK ON NOGGIN!

Elmo: Elmo do not want “Unpaved” on Noggin. That show stupid!

Kermit: That show is a CLASSIC!

Elmo: Elmo gonna get thug. WOLF! HERE!

(The Big Bad Wolf runs in! It is the big, scary blue version from the 70s.)

Big Bad Wolf: Are these punks causing you trouble?

Elmo: Elmo say you look good!

Big Bad Wolf: Thanks! My new look does look better than the one I had before. It made me look too tame. And now, I will get you guys for trespassing on Noggin property!

Kermit: Uh-oh! I really did it! Well, on second thought, this is Kermit the Frog returning you to your regular scheduled programming. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES EVERYONE!

(The whole group crashes through the wall, which explodes as they escape! Only Elmo and the Wolf remains.)

Big Bad Wolf: Now, what do you suppose that was all about?

Elmo: Elmo no know.

(Elmo and the Wolf look at the camera as the usual Sesame Street “waaa-waaaaaah” comedy end music plays.)


Cool, huh?

 

[wiley207]

Oops, double post.

 

[rumtar_10165]

ok here is my idea, with my creatures meeting Sesame Street.

Digby R. Dog sits on the couch at 4:00 o' clock in the moring.
Sunny the cub comes in to the room rubbing his eyes.
"what are you doing up still? it's 4:00 in the moring." he repiles.
"man I have been up since twelve A.M. Watchin Noggin." Digby repiles to the young cub.
Sunny looks at the Dog for a moment. " ah watching South Park?"
"Nope. Waiting for Sesame Street Unpaved." Digby repiles with a big smile.
Sunny looks at the tv then turns to Digby. "Did you know that Noggin Canceled it."

Digby pauses for a sec. Then Looks at the cub. "what ya yacking about???"
"well nogging had it removed due to their mistake of putting it to early in the morning."

Dibgy in his old style stands up and places his hat on backwards.
Sunny blinked for he knew what that Digby was mad.
"That Dose It. Let's Go." He growled in his dog tone.

Minutes later Digby and a tired Sunny the bear cub is walking down Sesame Street.
"so who are you going to ask first?" Sunny yawed.
Digby looks at an all well know trash can. "I'll Check Here." he relpied.
Digby knocks on the Trash Can, and a green furry Grouch Pops up.
"Yeay what do you want Mutt." he snaped " I need to know what Happed To Sesame Street Unpaved??" Dibgy replies back.

"Oh Brother" Oscar Replies as he rolls his eyes."not another Fan?? Look give it a rest will ya!!" He went back into the Trash Can slaming his Lid.
Digby looks at Sunny and Bangs the Trash can once more.
"Digby, I don't think that you need to get him mad again." Sunny replies.
"never mind Bear. I want to know what happened." Digby snaps as he bangs once more on the can. "WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!??" Oscar Snaps.
"I wana know what happeded." The dog repiles.

Just then Bob Walks up and sees the two snapping at each other, and a cub watching with a worried look.
bob walks to the cub. "what's going on here?" he repiles. Sunny looks at him and repiles "Oh hi my friend is finding out what had happed to Sesame Street Unpaved." Bob Smiled as he replied " Well Noggin Wanted to take it off the air so the can show some teen shows instead of classic shows like ours. The think it will draw the teen to their network." Digby stoped snapping at Oscar and looked at Bob "Ya mean those idiots yanked the shows off for no reason."
Digby questioned. "hey come back here will you I liked this Snapping at each other. He He." Oscar replied. "so what can we do about brining the show back??" asked Digby.

Just then Sunny had an Idea. "I've Got it!!" he turns to face all the members
of the Muppet Central.

"Hi My name is Sunny And I am 6 years old. I watched the show from 2004.
And I had never seen what originaly happened before I was Born. I want to
ask you one and all if someone can start up a letter to Noggin and ask them
if they can bring it back on for us younger people who had not seen the show.
Mabey we can see what you grew up with.

This story was my daughters idea and I thought I would type it and add a request for her since she is a fan.