The Wimp Monologues...

[BeakerSqueedom]

Aww...that was just sweet.

 

[Super Scooter]

Thank you.

-Count von Count-​

"Ah, it is a lonely ewening tonight. The castle seems so wery cold and empty. Is there no one who will wisit their old friend, the Count? Ah, so sad to be alone on such a dark night. I've counted ewerything in my castle. I tried counting stars, but the clouds are hiding them all from me. Ah-ha! The raindrops! I will count the raindrops!

One raindrop! Two raindrops! Three raindrops! Four... snowflakes?

Ah, it is a cold and lonely ewening tonight. I wish one of my friends would come and see me. I could help them count so many things. Ah, but eweryone on Sesame Street is most likely asleep by this hour. Eh, what time is it? ... It is nearly midnight... Midnight? Ah-ha! The seconds! I will count the seconds till midnight!

One second! Two seconds! Three seconds! Four seconds! ... Four seconds? ... Four seconds... Either it is the end of time, or my watch has stopped.

Ah, it is a boring, cold and lonely ewening tonight. How sad this night is for the Count. It's too late for wisitors. I am too lonely to play my organ. It's music sounds so much better with people around. The castle is so empty."

*squeak squeak*

"What is that? Great Lugosi! Look at this! The castle isn't empty at all! My bats! My glorious bats! Grisha! Misha! Sasha! Tattiana! Oh, wonderwul! I lowe it! Ah, ah, ah, ah! One bat! Two bats! Three bats! Four bats! So many bats! Ah, ah, ah, ah!"

 

[redBoobergurl]

Ooh, Ed needs to read this one. He'll love it! I liked it too.

 

[Super Scooter]

-Junior Gorg-​

"'Juniow, do this! Juniow, do that! Juniow, quit spyin' on the neighbows!' We don't even HAVE any neighbows! My Ma and Pa, they'we always tellin' me what to do. Pa says, 'Juniow, these awe the duties of the futuwe king!' Well, the pwesent king suwe ain't doin' much. Maybe I don't wanna be a futuwe king! It just spoils all my fun anyway. No, I do not want to be a futuwe king. All I wanna do is catch a Fwaggle. Oooh! Maybe there's a Fwaggle here now! Hoo hoo! ...

Nope. No Fwaggles. Just once I wish I could catch one! Aw, I can't evew catch a Fwaggle! They always get out of my twaps! I don't see why they want to escape. All I wanna do is thump 'em. Heh-hee! Ma says I oughta stop twyin' to catch the Fwaggles. But a boy's gotta have a hobby! And Pa says needlewowk's no good fow a futuwe king. Ha ha ha. ... Naw, he says that about catchin' Fwaggles, too! He says, 'Juniow, you dundew-headed lummox, a futuwe king does not catch Fwaggles.' Well, how come a futuwe king can't decide what a futuwe king gets to do? After all, I would be the futuwe king. And as the futuwe king, you get to make all the wules for the futuwe kingship! And you don't have to listen to mommies and daddies, and you can thump all the Fwaggles you want to thump! Take that futuwe Fwaggles! Heh-hee-hee!

Oh, I can't wait to be the futuwe king! Daddy! Daddy, I'm gonna be the king!"

 

[Super Scooter]

-Sam the Eagle-​

"Why do I do it?

"Why do I try to get through to these ridiculous creatures? All the silliness around here, it is enough to drive us nice, normal, decent sort of people absolutely insane. Hmmph. Anarchists! Rebels! This sort of thing is completely un-American. Would the founding fathers have put up with this sort of rebellious attitude? I think not! Hmmph. Naughty, naughty creatures! Why, without level-headed individuals such as myself to keep everything in check, the whole thing would fall apart. Hmmph. Do I receive thanks for it? Does my persistance meet with results? Of course not! What else would you expect from such lowlifes?

"Though, I suppose Kermit did have Dr. Teeth perform "Born in the U.S.A." last week. Such good, wholesome, upbuilding, patriotic, all-American lyrics... even if the music was a bit of a compromise. And the operatic number! That was an excellent show! I really got a big charge out of that one!"

KA-BOOM!

"*cough cough* Crazy Harry! *cough cough* This is outrageous! How dare you interrupt- *cough cough* Anarchists! Ridiculous creatures! Naughty, naughty, un-American, indecent creatures!

"*sigh*

"Why do I do it?"

 

[AnimatedC9000]

... compromise? Oh, my gosh... XD

Wow, all of these monolouges (sp?) are rully great. I can't wait to see what's in the mind of one of the musicians--or better yet, what goes on in the mind of Crazy Harry? O_O

That's a question to ponder about. Why does he always blow stuff up?

 

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHA! Oh that Sam piece was WONDERFUL! I love it! So beautifully in character! I can picture him delivering that--BEAUTIFUl!

 

[Super Scooter]

That's a question to ponder about. Why does he always blow stuff up?

Hmm. Good question. Perhaps one to be answered in the future.

On a side note, I've always wanted to do one of these for one of the musicians as well, and I made an attempt at one for Floyd, but it just wasn't working for me. I might be able to do something with it now.

HAHAHA! Oh that Sam piece was WONDERFUL! I love it! So beautifully in character! I can picture him delivering that--BEAUTIFUl!

Thanks. That's what these were for, partly. An exercise in character writing.

 

[Super Scooter]

-Cookie Monster-​

"Mmmmm. Cookie! *smack smack* Oh, me love cookie! Bob left cookie here all alone and lonely... *smack smack* Mmmm. Oh, cookie so very tempting! Maybe me just nibble cookie. No, me no can nibble cookie! Me know me better than that! Me taste cookie, me DEVOUR cookie! Me never live it down if me eat all Bob's cookie. ... Oh, but cookie look so tasty! No! No, me no have cookie! Me have... carrot. Nice, yummy, tasty carrot... with chocolaty chips. No, carrot not cookie. Carrot not have chocolate chips. Carrot not macaroons. Carrot just carrot. Yuck-y, bland, o-range carrot. ... *sigh* Carrot not yummy, tasty, de-licious, round cookie. ... *sigh* Broccoli! Me eat broccoli! Broccoli not carrot! Broccoli green and leafy and... not cookie. Broccoli not taste tasty like mac-a-de-mia nut cookie. Or peanut buttery cookie. Or double... chocolate... COOKIE! Oh, me cannot take this anymore! Me must have cookie! ... But, me no can have cookie. Bob's cookie. ... But maybe Bob buy cookie... to give ME cookie! Yeah! Bob's cookie me cookie! Me have cookie! ... But if not me cookie... *sigh*

"Me have tough life."

 

[redBoobergurl]

"Me have tough life" - hilarious! Nice segment, I love Cookie Monster.