The Wimp Monologues...

[Super Scooter]

Sure, I'd be interested in reading it, anyway. Just keep Kermit outta the trunk. I'm quite proud of that idea. Hehe!

But I thought you won?

No. I don't think so.

*runs in slow motion to the finish line, an over-used, but still beloved cliche*

Wasn't quite there yet.

 

[Super Scooter]

The one you've all been waiting for (don't screw it up, Justin!)...

-Miss Piggy-​

"Oh, how exciting! I can hardly believe it! Moi's very first motion picture! Oh! Moi shall be the biggest star on the silver screen. Oh, I feel so happy for me! Today, I am a simple television nobody, tomorrow, a celebrity! Can vous imagine it? Moi, a movie starlet! Oh, Kermie was right! All my dreams are coming true.

Today, we film moi's first big scene. It will be so wonderful! A romantic scene between me and my Kermie... *sigh* Oh, it will be perfect. The lights, the scenery! Mois running into the arms of my frog. And a big musical number to boot! What a wonderful scene!

Never before have two souls joined so freely, and so fast.
For me this is the first time, and the last.
Is this an angel's wish for men?
Never before and never again.

Oh, what a beautiful song! I could sing it all day long, all the time! I can't wait to film it. It will be moi's shining moment. *sigh*

This love was meant to light the stars,
But when we touched, we made it ours!

No, that doesn't sound right. Did I miss something? Oh, dear! I've skipped a line. Come on, Miss Piggy, this is your big break. You can't let something like that happen when we're filming. Everything has to be perfect. Moi could be bigger than Audrey! Ingrid Bergman, eat your heart out! ... Oh, don't mess it up, Piggy. You don't want to go back to the farm, do you? This is Hollywood! There is no room for mistakes. Now, what are my lines again? ... "Kissy-kissy, kissy-kissy, all!" ... that's it? Oh, but the song is wondeful! Oh, I know it will be wonderful! It will be fantastic! ... Oh, I hope it will be wonderful. I hope it will be fantastic. Oh, I don't want to mess it all u---"

"Miss Piggy?"

"Yes, Kermie?"

"We're ready to do your big scene, Piggy."

"Oh, thank you, darling! I'm already, Kermie! I'm gonna knock 'em dead!"

"Er, okay. We'll be waiting."

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Frawley!"

 

[Barry Lee]

Awww... these are too awesome. Your doing a great job!

 

[Super Scooter]

Thanks, Barry!

(btw, I just watched "the bird" on YouTube. That is fantastic!)

 

[Barry Lee]

hahahhaa, well thank you! I wish I could do more animation. But glad you enjoyed it!
​

 

[Super Scooter]

eh, I guess Piggy's is alright. I don't think I'm real happy with it...

 

[Super Scooter]

-Bobo-​

"Yum tum tum tum tum--- oh! Oh, what's this? Hehe! A little bunny rabbit. Well, how do you like that? Hehe! Oh, hey, there, little fella. How ya doin'? What's your name? ... Well? ... Well, answer me! Answer me!!! ... Oh. Oh, hehe! You can't talk, can you, little fella? Sorry. Thought maybe you were like some o' the other little bunny rabbits around here. ... Well, uh... Well, you're kinda cute, aintcha? Aren't you just the cutest little bunny rabbit! Yes, you are! Yes, you are! Hehe! ... Oh, sorry 'bout that. I know, I know, I'm embarassin' ya. Can't look bad in front of the other bunnies, now can we? Especially all them chick rabbits. I've seen them checkin' you out! Yeah! Aw, don't worry about the guys, man, they're just jealous, there. ... You know... You know, you are kinda soft, there, aintcha? You're a soft little, cute little bunny rabbit. Could make a nice coat out of you! Oh, oh, but don't worry, I wouldn't. Probably wouldn't fit anyway. Yeah, the only fur I wear is my own. So, you got a girlfriend, there, little fella? ... Oh, right. Can't talk. Right. Gotcha on that one. Gotta remember that... uhhh... hmmm. Gee, you know, talkin' to a guy that can't talk ain't quite so fun, is it? Well, I know it ain't so much fun for you either, havin' to listen to me ramble on like this. Pretty sure you're not used to that either, are ya? ... Well, um... didja see that Bears game the other night? ... No, no, you wouldn't, would ya? Hmmmm... Well, I guess... I guess since we don't really have anything to talk about... in fact, we can't really talk to each other at all... I guess... I guess we probably should be 'partin' ways', you know? ... Well... See ya, little fella... If you ever need help pickin' carrots or any of them rabbit stereotype things, you let me know, okay? ... See ya, pal. ... Bye...

... Oh, I just couldn't leave you! You're just so cute! Look at this face! Hehehe! I just love this little cute, adorable little bunny rabbit! Hehe! Oh, I could just eat you all up! ... Well, not that way, but you know what I mean. Hehe! Say, who'da thunk I'd make a friend like this?"

 

[Faylo]

Bobo!!

I really liked Bobo's chapter.. I'm really tired and I'm going to sleep in a few but I'll give a better review in between Christmas decorating tomorrow. I loved Miss Piggy's too!

You're doing an awesome job on these. Actually, I'm auditioning for a musical theatre production in a couple of weeks... I was wondering if I could use the Wembley monologue as my piece?

 

[Super Scooter]

You're doing an awesome job on these. Actually, I'm auditioning for a musical theatre production in a couple of weeks... I was wondering if I could use the Wembley monologue as my piece?

Wow! Really? I'd be honored, actually. That's what it was designed for... sorta. That sounds really great!

The Wembley one is my second favorite (first is Kermit). It's the one I most relate to, I guess. I'm glad you like it enough to want to use it! I have the biggest smile on my face now.

Thanks!

 

[Super Scooter]

-Robin-​

"Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair where I sit.
There isn't any other stair
Quite like it.

Gee. I hate being this small. Uncle Kermit was never this small, why do I gotta be this size? Everyone else my age is bigger. All my friends in the frog scouts are already earning their collars. Gee, I can't do anything being this small. I can't even reach the door handle, how embarassing! *sigh* I'm just a little shrimp of a frog, and I don't even like seafood. ... ha ha! Seafood. That's silly. I'm starting to sound like Uncle Fozzie. ... Aw, I'll never be big. I could probably fall through the floorboards, I'm so small. All the other frog scouts got to toast their marshmallows around the campfire. I had to toast mine over an easy-bake oven. All because they thought I was too young. Well, I'm the same age as the rest of those fellas! I'm just shorter. I'm always the smallest one. I'm gonna probably stay this tiny little tadpole size forever. Well, why should I have to? I'm not a tadpole! I'm a frog! I'm a grown-up frog! I shouldn't have to be so small. After all...

I'm five, I'm five.
I'm a big frog now, I'm five.
I can dress myself I don't need Mom to help me anymore.
And when I sit in my father's chair my feet can reach the floor... almost.

*sigh* Almost is right. I am just a shrimpy little frog. Aw, I'm surprised I already lost my tail. I probably still need it. Why do I have to be so small? ... Well, what's wrong with being so small? Heh, everything. ... Well, not everything, I guess. I can do things other people can't. I can fit into smaller places, I can avoid things better. I remember one time when Uncle Kermit lost the keys to the theater. They fell in one of the tubas, and nobody else could get them back but me. Well, gee, the whole Muppet Theater would be closed down if it weren't for me and my size! Well, I guess being small's okay. Yeah, it's pretty neat, actually! Think of all I can do that nobody else can! That's really great!

I'm five, I'm five.
I'm a big frog now, I'm five.
My mother daresn't spank me just for going without a hat.
She knows darn well I'd run away cause I'm too old for that.

What does she think, I'm three? Uh-uh, not me.
What does she think, I'm four? I'm more than four!
I'm even more than four-and-a-half!
I'm five!!!

But it doesn't mean I wanna be this small forever!"