The Time the Muppets Beat Time

[RedDragon]

{{{HUGS}}} Lisa and Ryan...good chap

 

[Leyla]

<waves wildly and makes a lot of noise> HEY PEOPLE! Where are you?!
You're missing a GREAT story here!! Reviews are important to authors, even tiny little two second "liked it!" reviews! No reviews means the authors can feel like no one is reading, no one cares, or no one likes it! That can mean no more story!! So, c'mon! Review! Prawnie and Toga are great writers! Encourage them a bit, will ya?!

<steps off soapbox>
Um... sorry... but it had to be said.


OOOOH!!!! I loved this so much! You two are a great team, the Lyan team, I suppose. Great story, beloved mentor and Dr. Prawniedew!

Clifford took of his sunglasses and wiped his brow. "You were shouting about dropping your screwdriver?"
“Well of course," Bunsen said. "It's my absolute favorite screwdriver!" he said, returning to his machine. "Oh, would you look at this, it seems our time-travelling friends are being sent backwards now! Oh, what fun!"

HAHAHAHA!!! Dr. Honeydew is so funny through this. He's just so insulated in his own little world. He just can't see the picture beyond the thrill of the science. Poor, poor beaker.

"Dr. Dew! This is NOT good!" Clifford shouted.

"Oh I know! It's fantastic!" Bunsen giggled. "Imagine the history lesson they're getting!"

Great line!!! And I love the hostility between Scooter and Clifford.

"Well you tell me, you're the computer genius, they give out diction lessons on those things don't they?" Clifford asked sarcastically.

EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Diction lessons! <straightens crown> Perhaps I should start a class...

Scooter threw his ice pack at Clifford, hitting him right on the nose. "Dr. Honeydew," he said, "Just bring our friends back." He glanced at Clifford. "I have to talk to Kermit about SOMEONE's contract."

Yeah, it occurs to me that Scooter might not be the best Muppet to annoy.
He seems a pretty settled guy for a muppet... which is probably why Kermit trusts him with so much.

"Five bucks says the go-fer's glasses break," Waldorf said from the balcony.

"And ten bucks says that the dreadlocked guy breaks his glasses on the go-fer's head!" Statler countered.

"You're on," Waldorf said. They shook hands and leaned forward to watch.

"What do you two like live here or somethin'?" the distracted Clifford asked.

Bwahahahahaha!!!! Oh, I love those two!! And they so clearly have no lives at all... I guess I can sympathize with that.

"Hey look! We're in a new time!" Rizzo shouted.

"No, we're in an old time!" Rowlf said.

I LOVE Rowlf's sense of humour.

Zoot stood up, "But I think we should-" he started again.

<giggles> Running gags can be so hilarious when they're done right, and you two know how to do things right! The whole irony of Zoot (ZOOT!) trying to say something over and over again and nobody listening is absolutely delicious. Poor guy... I wonder if this happened so often to him, he simply gave up and cut nearly all ties to the world outside of his head and his sax.

"Where do you think we are now Uncle Kermit?" Robin asked innocently.

"Well it looks like we're in some sort of barn," Kermit responded gently.

Ah, that's so sweet... just a regular everyday... time travelling excluded... conversation between Kermit and Robin. Lisa... your lines?

"Man, if we're in a barn, Piggy'll feel right at home! Heh heh heh!" Floyd said.

"HI-YAAH!"

I'm beginning to think that Floyd is some kind of masochist... I mean, he really just ASKS for it sometimes. I also found it hysterical that no one reacted to that at all. <pictures Floyd just getting up without reacting too>

The sound of clamping hooves sounded as a knight in dark black armor rode up on a shimmering white horse. "What ho there fine freaks?" he addressed the travelers. "What business have thee in mine stable?"

<giggles> I like this knight guy already. "Fine Freaks." Awesome!

"None," Beauregard said with a blink.

Aw... that's so sweet! I love Beauregard! There's something of honesty in that answer too.

Miss Piggy straightened up and sashayed over to the knight. "Ooh, a tall dark and handsome knight type," she mused quietly. Then, so he could hear her, "Oh, fair knight, where are'est thou putting to bed your cute little head? Hmmm?"

Ha! Love the sashay and the flirting... Piggy can be so funny.

The knight hopped off of his horse gracefully. He stood up perfectly straight as he moved towards Piggy, removing his helmet. The knight swayed back his golden locks, the length of which rivaled Piggy's. He stopped in front of her and grabbed her gloved hand. "Oh fair damsel, wherever I layeth mine head, you are certainly welcome," he winked at her.

Oh my! I dare say Kermit won't stand for that! Love that his hair length rivals Piggy's... and the line of course! Hah! So funny!

Rizzo nudged Kermit in the chest. "Hey der Kerm, looks like you've got one less porky problem on your flippers, eh? Heh heh."

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Hardly."

YAY!!! Scrunchiness!! <sigh> I love when he's all jealous and pretending not to be!

Fozzie popped up in front of Kermit and Rizzo, "Hey, don't worry about it Kermit, that knight is HARDLY awake! It's the middle of the afternoon! Get it?! Knight! Awake! Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!"

<giggles> Oh, Fozzie... why do I get the feeling Kermit isn't really in the mood for that kind of humour right now.

The knight gazed curiously at them, and then turned his eyes back to Miss Piggy. "Tell me, my fair lady," he said, "What ARE you doing with these... things?"

"About seven knots," Gonzo interrupted.

YAY! TMM reference! And have I said yet that I love this knight guy! He's hysterical... love the attitude.

"These THINGS," Kermit said as he stepped forward, "Are her FRIENDS." He put his arm firmly around Miss Piggy's waist.

You probably heard my rapturous squeal of joy from all the way over here. Kermie, you wonderful frog, you! Piggy must be on cloud nine!

Floyd raised one eye up. "Speak for yourself green stuff!"

Where on earth did all this hostility between them originate anyway?

The knight let go of Piggy's hand and stared down into Kermit's eyes. "I say there my gruesomely green companion. Is this beauty of a maiden yours? Or may I take her back to my nestings and tour her around the orchards?"

HAH!! "greusomely green"! That's awesome alliteration! It's always fun for me to see someone digging Piggy... boy, the lines this guy is spouting though! No wonder Kermit's jealous!

Miss Piggy turned and smiled at Kermit, looking smugger than she ever had before. Then, as magically as her incredible acting abilities allowed, her face became that of an offended innocent maiden as she turned her gaze back to the knight and, with her eyes, pleaded for him to help her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! <squeals, giggles, bounces!> Oh, perfect!! Everytime I thin I love Piggy as much as I possibly can... somehow you show me a way to love her more! Nice seeing her acting skills get credited too!

Dr. Teeth stroked his furry orange beard. "I do hope that the orchards our knightly friend is talking about has nothing to do with flower 'beds,' emphasizing the beds, if you know what I mean. That could end bad for both parties," he frowned at such a thought.

<laughs> Great lines, and great commentary for Dr. Teeth. And doesn't it just lead perfectly into a paragraph of frog squirming?

Kermit felt his muscles tensing. He was dizzy. This was NOT a good conversation to have after having his head bumped too many times in one day. He stared back at the knight and, with no small effort, opened his mouth. "She's not yours to take," he said.

Yep, it does! Oh!!! I can't tell you how happy this makes me!! EEEEEEE!!!! I mean, it's funny and cute and muppety... with just a little bit of an edge to it with all those insinuations and then, hoorah! Kermit rushes to claim Piggy... which is, of course, exactly what she was hoping he'd do!!Yippee!!!

"And what giveth you the right to say such a thing o' ye of little stature?" the knight asked harshly. "I sayeth, if the lady would enjoy the company of both of us, we shall have a small duel of sorts, or should I say, swords. What sayeth you frog?"

Kermit gulped. "I say..." He looked towards Miss Piggy, but not particularly at her, and only briefly before returning his eyes to the knight. "I say yes."

Ooh!! Yayayayayayayay!!!! I love how annoyed Kermit's got to be that Piggy's pulling stunts like this at such a dangerous time.... I mean, they're helplessly bouncing through time and space! And yet, he is there, coming through like the wonderful frog he is! Suh-weet! I also liked the way he looked towards her and not exactly at her. I don't know what that means, but I like how you described that!

There. There it was. In the middle of the dirt patch. There it sat. Cold and alone. Alone and cold.

There was Beaker's right kidney.

A small mosquito landed on it. Above the mosquito’s head was a tiny, almost microscopic halo.

It bit the kidney.

I...really have no idea what to say about this, except that it made me laugh soooo much... and also feel very sorry for Beaker. I've been very empathetic for him lately for some strange reason. I LOVE that mosquitoe and her microscopic halo. (Yes, blood sucking mosquitoes are female)

Gonzo and Fozzie handled each of Kermit's pieces of arm coverage. "Gee Kermit, this is so cool! It totally reminds me of my Tin Thing costume from 'The Muppets' Wizard of Oz!'" Gonzo gushed over the painfully tight iron armor Kermit attempted to put on over his spindly arms and legs.

<laughs, bounces, squees> I love Gonzo and Fozzie being Kermit's esquire's here, or, whatever you call those kids. I am also insanely squeally about Gonzo gushing over a painful MWoO costume... that reminds me of something...

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Just don't remind me of MY costume from that," he said dryly. "PLEASE."

Pepe knocked on the armor, "Si, but jou can remind me of Piggy's costume whenever jou want, hokay? Did anyone take pictures by de way?"

... I can't quite put my finger on what this reminds me of...unless, of course, these two wonderful author types are referencing me!!! WWWWWHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO COOL!!!!!!!
<bounces like mad> Yippee!!!

"But I do not even have a DVD player, hokay? Jou don't buy me any nice t'ings Kermin. How am I supposed to see de sexy lady pig without a DVD player? Jou know Kermin, I'm not sure how long dis relationship can last if jou don't buy me any nice t'ings, hokay?" Pepe crossed his arms.

Is... this Pepe talking, or Prawnie? I just get so confused... Anyway, love him angling for a DVD player, and adored the phrase "de sexy lady pig" 'cause it's just so funny. Poor Kermit... he's gonna wish he stayed in bed.

"Oh, sheesh!" Kermit cried out. He shook his head. "And people wonder how my eyes got like this..."

HAHAHAHAhahaHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

Sam strutted his way to where Kermit stood in his rusting armor. "Kermit, you do realize there are some VERY strict rules regarding the honorable, timeless tradition of dueling, do you not? You face your opponent, about face, walk ten paces, turn and strike. Um, good luck. And, may I have your stereo?"

Perfect choice to have Sam go over the rules. I love that Kermit's armour is rusting.... and I am very much struggling with the image of Sam "strutting" about with late Kermit's stereo.

"Well I think you're gonna do GREAT, Uncle Kermit!" Robin said enthusiastically.

"Oh yes, you'll do marvelously Kermit," Sam said sarcastically. "Are you sure I can't have your stereo?"

Aww... so cute! <waves at Robin!> <giggles at Sam and Kermit>

"Yes, Sam, I am SURE that you can't have my stereo!" Kermit said. He took a deep breath and turned to his nephew. "You think so, huh Robin?" he said with something that almost could have vaguely resembled a smile.

<happy sigh> So Kermit's about to get his little green tushy kicked and yet he can still almost sorta kinda smile at Robin's faith in him. That's precious.

"Is there anyway I could win your stereo?"

"Sam," Kermit said, "I don't HAVE a stereo!"

Sam raised his head slowly and stood up straight. "Oh...Well, if you get one, can I have it?"

<laughs> Perfect. If you ever doubt that Sam is as crazy as the rest of them... you shouldn't.

Kermit sighed a frustrated sigh and turned to Robin again. "It's a little different than in Muppet Treasure Island, Robin," he explained gently. "I've got a few more disadvantages this time around. One, I'm in this armor and I have no idea how I'm supposed to be able to move in this. And two... it's not a choreographed fight."

<giggles> Poor Kermit. I love his gentle explanation... and his disadvantages come off sounding so minor... Piggy... you'd better not let him get hurt!

"And number three," Gonzo continued the list of differences. "Tim Curry's a wimp...He wouldn't even try the barefoot sea shell tap dancing I had set up."

"He couldn't have been MUCH of a wimp," Floyd said. "After all, he DID kiss the pig!"

"Sheesh..."

<squees, bounces, giggles> Eeeeee!!! I love it! He's still all jealous! She could well get him killed by playing this game and he's still jealous!!! Yippee!!!! And Gonzo is hilarious, of course!

THE pig sat atop a tower of ten or fifteen bales of hay with her legs crossed and her hair flowing over her shoulders (she had to look her best when she was the subject of a battle to the death). "Oh boys, are vous ready?" she hummed down to the knight and her frog in shining armor.

<giggles> Love the description of Piggy, she is sooo much the instigator of all of this. Definately queen of the world right now! I can just picture how gleeful she is!

Kermit shifted his eyes to Miss Piggy, who gave him an encouragingly flirtatious smile. He held her gaze and set his face with firm determination, with the utterly barest hint of a smile. He turned to the knight. "Yes," he said as he drew his sword. "Art thou?"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, oh, I love it!!! Love it, love it love it!!! Love that she's at least encouraging/flirting with the right knight here... and Kermit's determination and the smile! OOOOOooooooooooooooohhhhhh!!!! He's a pretty sexy frog when he's being all determined like that. No wonder Piggy plays these games.

The knight whipped around and lunged towards Kermit who slowly turned around and barely was able to block the knight's blade with his own. He let out a huge frown. "Piggy better be thankful for this," he thought aloud.

<giggles> Oh, that's so Kermity! You know, that sarcastic side he has... lovely... and of course I'm sure Piggy is very thankful he's willing enough to be manipulated into displaying some affection/possessiveness of her. Oh... I'm supposed to be worried about him now, aren't I?

He swung his sword and the blades clashed. A baby step forward and a tiny swing to the other side of the knight's sword and another step and another swing and another step and another swing and bit by bit the frog advanced in small, swift swings- each one perfectly blocked by the knight's sword.

<cheers wildly for Kermit!>

All of the Muppets, along with Miss Piggy, were on the edge of their seats watching the sword fight. However, Miss Piggy was more literally on the edge than the others. Kermit slammed into the stack of hay to dodge a slice from the knight's blade, and the impact sent Piggy falling to the ground.

"AHH!" she screamed as she hit the ground, face first.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Priceless!!

Not very fair-maiden-like, she thought. She noticed the sword beside her hand. Neither is that...

Ha! Great Piggy thoughts there! I love that she can acknowledge her gracelessness in her own mind at least, where she wouldn't out loud to save her life.

She snatched it, sprung gracefully to her feet, and joined the fight. At least it looks like I meant to do it now, she thought as she defiantly forced the other two swords away with her blade.

See? <squees!!! Go Piggy!! <is NOT a fangirl!!!!>

Kermit did not look at all surprised to find himself clashing swords with her. The knight, however, was another tale.

Ha! Love Kermit's lack of surprise and the knight's astonishment. (Nicely worded, by the way!

"I say," he exhaled between the swings of the swords. "A fair lass and a more than fair swordswoman? Ist there anything she cannot do?"

"If there is, I haven't found it yet," Kermit said.

<bounces> Ooooh! Awesome!!! Fantastic!!! <dances>

"Oh, thank vous Kerm-AH!" Piggy tried to swoon over the frog, before she was knocked over with the knight's elbow.

"She's even good at falling," Kermit quipped as he distracted the knight long enough for Miss Piggy to get back on her feet.

Heeheeheeheeheehee!!!! Love it! Love Piggy being distracted by her need to swoon over Kermit, and Kermit's quipping... It's sweet, really, and funny... I mean, he can see her flaws... but I dunno, there's something funny and cute about the mockery and the respect mixed together there.

Piggy's face filled with rage. "HI-YA!" she spun herself around with the blade in her hands, knocking sword tips with both of the armored men.

"And did I mention karate?" Kermit gulped, not even noticing the pure light of time shining into the barn and slowly sucking him, Miss Piggy, and all the Muppets away, leaving a very confused knight to swing his sword at the air.

Wheee!! Karate!!! <bounces> Hysterical!! Oh, I love this story!! You know... I think I was actually the person who asked you to do something from the middle ages... or possibly I'm hallucinating, but the point is... yay!!!! I wonder where their next adventure will take them.... <<<<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

[redBoobergurl]

First off, yea! An update!

Second off, after Leyla's quite detailed and long review I don't think there's much more I could say. I really do love it though! Sorry that sounds so canned!

Third off, Leyla, I'm laughing hysterically over all the names you used in your quotes! Way to be ultra-creative!

MORE PLEASE!

 

[The Count]

Phew! *Finishes reading through Layla's post.
You have learned much in the art of author name-calling... Good you done have young student.
Oh, before forget I... Story more post please soon!

 

[Beauregard]

I have a confession...I kept forgetting, and putting off, the reading of the latest chapter of this fanfic...I don't have an excuse, it was just something that happened. Anyway, last night I begged Toga to give me another chance, and told her that my "Next post!" would be in this thread...

...by this morning my mind had blanked that small MSN conversation out, and I went ahead and posted in The Muppet Dictionary Thread...

...and so now it is time to grovel...

...on my knees...in the dust and dirt and abandoned parahantheses (Oh, there's one there, see? And another ->)...

I can offer a peace offering of my favorite MC gratituitious penguin:

Or, remove my kidney and have it packaged back to the middle-ages for science?

Or post Sam a sterio?

Ore is made from iron...or visa versa.

Or I could simply post and say, "Lyan! I love you two and beg your fogiveness!!!"

Bea:hasgivensmilieaway:regard

 

[theprawncracker]

*grabs Beau's penguin and runs away*

 

[Beauregard]

Darn you Cracker!

 

[theprawncracker]

Darn you Cracker!

MWoO ha ha ha!!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Hey, who let the cow in here?
Anyway, my excuse, (or lack there of), is much the same is Beau's. Also, sometimes when I did see it as last updated, it had neither of Lyan's names on it, so I figured it was not an actual update, (no offense to anyone else). So you see, it isn't because I don't love you guys or this story; it is because I do love it so much that I won't settle for anything less! Anyway, I apologyze.
I loved the chapter, anthe scene with Fozzie, Gonzo and Sam before the fight, as well as when Piggy started fighting, were especially funny! The mosquito biting the kidney was chilling, and I hope it was for good instead of evil. Sure Leyla, blood-sucking mosquitoes are female, but do magical, archangelic blood-sucking mosquitoes also have to be female?
I really love this so far. Can't wait for more!

 

[TogetherAgain]

<taps foot and glares at Beau> Yeah, you'd BETTER grovel, Mr. I-signed-on-right-after-it-was-posted-and-was-too-good-to-click-the-link-Lisa-sent-me-to-just-read-it-right-away-instead-of-procrastinating-for-several-days... Not that I'm BITTER or ANYTHING about that... <Glares.>