Richard: Stupid little treacly little waste of styrofoam. Why did I ever pick this annoying little hairball up? I have standards to uphold! (throws Elmo over his shoulder; the puppet lands in a box) That's it. I've strained my diaphragm over you for the last time!
(there is a rumbling noise behind him)
Elmo (very large, ghostly voice): You're not getting rid of Elmo that easily, Richard.
(R. stops, turns around and stares up in terror at E., who has sprouted up into a fifty-foot behemoth version of the "annoying little hairball" that he is.)
R: No...(tries to run, but E. grabs him and lifts him up to eye level) Don't hurt me!
E: Fool...know ye not that Elmo will soon be the most popular Muppet on the show? Elmo is invincible...unstoppable...and adorable! (giggles with oh-so-disgustingly cute glee) Children everywhere will bow down and worship Elmo! The writers will set aside huge blocks of time just for Elmo! And YOU will have to provide a voice for Elmo! Forever! (E. laughs evilly as R. trembles with abject fear...)
(As it turns out, the whole thing is Richard's nightmare. R. snaps awake on the green room sofa, screaming.)
R: NOOO! (looks around in panic, sees that E. is not there) Horrible...it was horrible. (slumps back against sofa) That's going to scar me for life...guess I'd better see a shrink about it. (reaches down into his bag and pulls out a day planner and pen) Let's see: make an appointment with shrink, talk to Jim about next season of F.R., get together with Jerry and Dave, get sweet revenge...ooh, clever...against Dave for the sugar incident...and palm Elmo off on someone else ASAP!
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