The New New Quote Thread

[antsamthompson9]

Noel MacNeal: I hate when they say kids have a short attention span, so that's why we have to make these stories really short. No, you're training them to have a short attention span, because if your show is interesting then they would actually sit and watch it.
Nate Begle: Dan just said his 3-year-old daughter will sit and watch a 105 minute movie if it's engaging enough.
Noel: Yeah, if it's really good. So people on these dedicated children's channels are saying kids don't have an attention span. No, you're training them not to have an attention span, because your shows are crap. And so you can't make a silk's purse out of a sow's ear. So that's why you have to keep it short.

 

[Old Thunder]

Calvin's Dad: What story would you like tonight? We can read anything except...
Calvin: "Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie"!
Calvin's Dad: NO! No Hamster Huey tonight! We've read that book a million times!
Calvin: I want Hamster Huey!
Calvin's Dad: Look, you KNOW how the story goes! You've memorized the whole thing! It's the same story every day!
Calvin: I WANT HAMSTER HUEY!
Calvin: Wow, the story was different THAT time!
Hobbes: Do you think the townsfolk will ever find Hamster Huey's head?

 

[D'Snowth]

KRAMER: Hey . . . I'm gettin' a vibe here. Are you unhappy with our arrangement?
JERRY: (Pause) What arrangement?
KRAMER: Well, I was under the impression that I could take anything I want from your fridge, and you could take anything you want from mine.
JERRY: Yeah, well let me know when you get somethin' in there and I will.

 

[D'Snowth]

SCHULTZ: Why didn't Kommandant Klink tell me about this?
CARTER: He was lookin' for ya, big fellah.
SCHULTZ: I was in the kitchen.
HOGAN: Grazing on liverwurst again?
SCHULTZ: (Beat) Official business.
HOGAN: Schultz, it's about time you got out of the kitchen and into the war.

 

[cjd874]

Drew Carey: Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Yep, they don't matter...just like Angelina Jolie's morning breath.

 

[D'Snowth]

DREW CAREY: Welcome to WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like Canadian history books.
KATHY GREENWOOD: Ha, ha, ha.
COLIN MOCHRIE: (Beat) Heh, heh, heh.

 

[cjd874]

Drew Carey: Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points don't matter, like the word "international" in "International House Of Pancakes."

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

I love those three Whose Line quotes!

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

Drew Carey: Now let's go on to a game called Boogie Woogie Sisters. This is for Brad, Wayne, and Ryan with help from Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, and Cece Worrall. Cece Worrall!

 

[Mo Frackle]

Fred: Say, how would you girls like to see a movie? There's a great picture showing in town: eh... "One Million, B.C." It's all about life in the future.

- The Flintstones