The New New Quote Thread

cjd874

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Jokes from stand-up comedy icon Rodney Dangerfield:

"I went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out!"
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!"
"I was so ugly when I was born that the doctor slapped my mother."
"Some dog I got...we call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid!"
"I dated a girl once...she said, 'Come over, there's nobody home.' I went over there, and there was NOBODY home!"
 

LittleJerry92

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Suien: It doesn't matter how many times you multiply yourself! Five times zero is ZERO!

*Suien sends Naruto flying into a tree*
 

LittleJerry92

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Crow: Kill, kill, kill, die, die, die! WHEN WILL IT END?!.

(When Jeeter is trying to kill Rod in the light house at the end of Wild Rebels).
 

D'Snowth

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REN: Dear Lord, we thank thee for this blessed drought that thou has set upon us. And let no seed find purchase from this forsaken land which we stole from the Indians. . . .
REN AND STIMPY: Amen.
STIMPY: Duh yeah, and please bless good ol' Saint Dusty Claus, so he can leave nice dirt clods in our stockings on Dustmas Eve!

*****

STIMPY: Please bless Grandma . . . and Grandpa. . . .
REN: . . . . And please give me a million dollars . . . and, oh yes, huge pectoral muscles. . . .
REN AND STIMPY: Amen.
 

Any Del

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Homer Simpson: I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
 

LittleJerry92

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"He keeps kicking me in the d**k! Why.... Why does he keep kicking me in the d**k?!
 

LittleJerry92

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"Duck still wonders about the lands beyond the horizon, but I think he knows that sometimes, the best travels are those that we can only dream about, don't you?"
 
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