The New New Quote Thread

[antsamthompson9]

Elmo: The broccoli has a DGA card?
Broccoli played by Matt Vogel: Oh yeah, I've been directing ever since I was a floret!
Elmo: Elmo can't believe they gave a DGA card to a broccoli!
Murray: Hey, they gave one to Michael Bay, why not a broccoli?

 

[LittleJerry92]

"And when I dream.....

And when I dream.....

And when I dream.....

AND WHEN I DREAM!!!!!

No, mommy! Don't do it again!

Don't do it again!

I'll be a good boy! I'll be a good boy!

I PROMISE!

No, mommy! Don't hit me - OW-OW!

Why do you have to hit me like that, mommy?!

Don't! Do it!

You're hurting me - OW-OW!

Why do you have to be such a *****?!

Why don't you.... Why don't you just **** off and DIE!!!!

Why can't you just **** off and DIE!!!!

Why can't you just leave here and DIE!!!!!

Never stick your hand in my face again, *****!

**** YOU!!!!!

I don't need this ****, you stupid, sadistic, abusive ******* w***e!

Would you like to see how it feels, mommy?!

Here it comes - get ready to DIE!!!!"

Spoiler

I swear to God, this song is so messed up.

 

[D'Snowth]

GAMESHOW HOST: Johnny Bravo, name the four basic food groups.
JOHNNY BRAVO: Fruit, dairy, uh -- beef jerky, and a garden hose.
GAMESHOW HOST: Oh, sorry, that's incorrect! Common tree stump, you are our new winner!
JOHNNY BRAVO: Aw man, this game's fixed! (Eats a garden hose)

 

[antsamthompson9]

Joey Mazzarino: A few years ago, they asked me if I wanted to direct, and at first I was like "I'm not a director". But I realized as puppeteers, we're kinda directors cause, we're watching ourselves in the monitor, and I know how to compose that shot cause I've been watching it for 18 years. So now I love it, because I feel like an independent filmmaker, I write my script and then I go shoot it! And it's great, no one can mess it up!
Kevin Clash: And you perform it too.
Joey: And I perform it too! (Kevin laughs) I don't need you guys, I'm doing my own show! (Moves his chair) Go here!
Matt Vogel: Come back.
Joey: Alright.

 

[LittleJerry92]

"AHHHHH!!!!! SO CHEWWY!!!!!"

 

[D'Snowth]

@LittleJerry92 Could you cite your quotes please?

 

[LittleJerry92]

Oh, hehe. That was from a Good Mythical Morning video of Link eating a steak and cheese hot pocket.... With squid skin as the bread part.

Spoiler

I figured someone with a dirty mind was gonna ask.... So I decided to have some fun and make y'all question where that came from.

 

[antsamthompson9]

Kevin Clash: Tell them about Big Bird.
Matt Vogel: Yes. Caroll Spinney is the performer of Big Bird, he's been doing it since day one. He's a wonderful man, and somewhere along the line, it was decided they needed someone to stand in for Caroll when he didn't wanna go to Iowa (Kevin cracks up at Matt making stuff up) and be at the opening of some grocery store or something. So they wanted someone that Caroll would train to be Big Bird and would talk as Big Bird and do everything like Big Bird. So several of us went in and I never met Caroll before that. And the man introduces me "This is Matt Vogel." And Caroll's eyes lit up, he stops and says "Vogel? Oh, your name means bird in German!" (Joey Mazzarino cracks up)
Kevin: It's an omen!
Matt: "This may be the job for you!" And so it was I guess.

 

[LittleJerry92]

Inside the library:

*Walking over to the manga section*

Some guy: Hey bro, I'm about to rip a huge one.

Me: *under my breath* Yeah, thanks for sharing.

 

[antsamthompson9]

Kevin Clash: For me, to make a long story short, go and see Being Elmo.
Joey Mazzarino: Being Elmo, whoo! (Audience cheers) Next!
Kevin: Yeah, next. (Laughs)
Matt Vogel: We don't need to hear more from you. I saw you on the Daily Show. Joey: Wait till Being Broccoli comes out, that's gonna be awesome! (Matt holds his hands in the air)