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CLOSING NUMBER
Kermit: And now Tim Brooke-Taylor is going to close our show tonight. He shall perform a song he has often performed before with his partners. Wild thing.
(curtain opens revealing Tim dressed in glitter glam style clothing with an electric guitar. Three female whatnots are in the background on back-up microphones and Tim begins to play)
Tim(singing) :Wild thing.
You make my heart sing.
Back-up girls: Ah-ah-ah.
Tim: You make everything so, so guh-roovy.
Wild thing.
Back-up: Aaaah-hah.
Tim: (looking up close to the camera) Wild thing. I think I loooove you.
(screaming) But I wanna know fer sure.
(slowly drawn out) Come here and hold me (brief pause) tight.
(wraps his arms around himself) Hey. Not quite so tight now.
(Tim jumps around playing his guitar while the girls sing together) La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
Tim: Wild thing. You make my heart sing.
Girls: Ah-ah-ah.
Tim: You make everything funky funky.
Wild Thing.
Girls: Aaaaah-ha-ha.
Tim: (up close to the camera) Wild thing. You know I think you move me.
(screaming) But I really wanna know fer sure, sure, sure.
(Motioning to the camera with a come here gesture) Hey, come over here and move me.
(laughing and making a silly face) Oh yeah. I'm moved. You really have moved me. Hahahaha.
(leaping around once again)
Girls: La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
Tim: (still jumping about) Wild thing.
Girls: Wild thing.
Tim: You make my heart sing.
Girls: Yeah. Yeah.Yeah.
Tim: You make everything oh so groovy.
Girls: Groo-groo-groovy.
Animal(rushing suddenly onto stage attacking Tim) Me wild thing! Me wild thing!
Tim: Oh no. Not again.
(Tim runs offstage chased by Animal leaving the three girls)
Girls: Wild thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeeeeaaaahhh.
Kermit: Okay our show is finished for tonight, but before we say good-bye, let's give one more big round of applause for Mr.Tim Brooke-Taylor. Yaaaayy!
(Tim comes out dressed in his outfit from the closing number with great, big holes torn in it)
Kermit: Tim, are you feeling all right.
Tim: Well the last time I counted my fingers and toes at least they were all still there Kermit.
(Suddenly Fozzie runs onstage holding a sheet of paper)
Fozzie: Hey Tim. I have a message for you.
Tim: What does it say Fozzie?
Fozzie: It's from your partners Bill Oddie and Greame Garden. (reading) It says, "Hiya Timbo. How are you feeling? We're so very sorry we were unable to join you on the Muppet Show, but we're so pleased to hear that you had a wonderful time. We also want you to know that we'll be happy to pay for any medical or psychiatric treatments you may require. Sincerely Bill and Graeme."
Tim: (indignant) Oh thanks guys. You didn't have to rub it in you know.
(starts to burst into tears one more time) Th-they didn't have to rub it in...WAAAH!
Kermit: Ah well. We'll see you next time on the Muppet Show.
(Tim bends down to cry upon Fozzie's shoulder while Gonzo, Scooter, Hilda and even Sweetums all come onstage to offer sympathy as the credits begin to roll)
Waldorf: Well another show is over.
Statler: Oh good.
Waldorf: Goody.
(they look at each other then turn to the camera)
W and S(singing) : Goody Goody Goody Yum Yum!
Kermit: And now Tim Brooke-Taylor is going to close our show tonight. He shall perform a song he has often performed before with his partners. Wild thing.
(curtain opens revealing Tim dressed in glitter glam style clothing with an electric guitar. Three female whatnots are in the background on back-up microphones and Tim begins to play)
Tim(singing) :Wild thing.
You make my heart sing.
Back-up girls: Ah-ah-ah.
Tim: You make everything so, so guh-roovy.
Wild thing.
Back-up: Aaaah-hah.
Tim: (looking up close to the camera) Wild thing. I think I loooove you.
(screaming) But I wanna know fer sure.
(slowly drawn out) Come here and hold me (brief pause) tight.
(wraps his arms around himself) Hey. Not quite so tight now.
(Tim jumps around playing his guitar while the girls sing together) La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
Tim: Wild thing. You make my heart sing.
Girls: Ah-ah-ah.
Tim: You make everything funky funky.
Wild Thing.
Girls: Aaaaah-ha-ha.
Tim: (up close to the camera) Wild thing. You know I think you move me.
(screaming) But I really wanna know fer sure, sure, sure.
(Motioning to the camera with a come here gesture) Hey, come over here and move me.
(laughing and making a silly face) Oh yeah. I'm moved. You really have moved me. Hahahaha.
(leaping around once again)
Girls: La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
Tim: (still jumping about) Wild thing.
Girls: Wild thing.
Tim: You make my heart sing.
Girls: Yeah. Yeah.Yeah.
Tim: You make everything oh so groovy.
Girls: Groo-groo-groovy.
Animal(rushing suddenly onto stage attacking Tim) Me wild thing! Me wild thing!
Tim: Oh no. Not again.
(Tim runs offstage chased by Animal leaving the three girls)
Girls: Wild thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeeeeaaaahhh.
Kermit: Okay our show is finished for tonight, but before we say good-bye, let's give one more big round of applause for Mr.Tim Brooke-Taylor. Yaaaayy!
(Tim comes out dressed in his outfit from the closing number with great, big holes torn in it)
Kermit: Tim, are you feeling all right.
Tim: Well the last time I counted my fingers and toes at least they were all still there Kermit.
(Suddenly Fozzie runs onstage holding a sheet of paper)
Fozzie: Hey Tim. I have a message for you.
Tim: What does it say Fozzie?
Fozzie: It's from your partners Bill Oddie and Greame Garden. (reading) It says, "Hiya Timbo. How are you feeling? We're so very sorry we were unable to join you on the Muppet Show, but we're so pleased to hear that you had a wonderful time. We also want you to know that we'll be happy to pay for any medical or psychiatric treatments you may require. Sincerely Bill and Graeme."
Tim: (indignant) Oh thanks guys. You didn't have to rub it in you know.
(starts to burst into tears one more time) Th-they didn't have to rub it in...WAAAH!
Kermit: Ah well. We'll see you next time on the Muppet Show.
(Tim bends down to cry upon Fozzie's shoulder while Gonzo, Scooter, Hilda and even Sweetums all come onstage to offer sympathy as the credits begin to roll)
Waldorf: Well another show is over.
Statler: Oh good.
Waldorf: Goody.
(they look at each other then turn to the camera)
W and S(singing) : Goody Goody Goody Yum Yum!
Lol, I love the "Wild Thing" sketch. That's awesome! The end with Kermit and Tim is very cute, hehe, and the Statler and Waldorf joke at the very end is so perfect. I could totally picture 'em doing that in my mind. Terrific script! 
