"The Moppet Family..."

[The Count]

Hey, anyone know when Christy and Grandma are coming back from Europe?

Oh hello Miss Mingostone, my name's Adam Cole. Seems you answered an ad for my brother-in-law, Bo, seeking a nanny to take care of his new twin son and daughter. Word of warning though, there's a lot of magic going around in our families so I hope you're prepared to deal with random occurrences that have no meaning.

Well, just thought I'd drop in and see how you were doing. But I'll be leaving now, got graduation ceremonies to tend to over at Magic School.

 

[DanDanStrawberry]

Come along then, young Vic. Your Auntie DanDan cna teach you to eat cushions. Now watch closely, push your head back as far as you can, then just swallow it. When you've eaten as many as I have it just comes naturally. Like a grape in a zoo full of wombles

 

[Vic Romano]

awts hoo hod hoo hwa-woe hont wahn wahn... hun het wahsts haw-wa-wul...

Translation
"It's too hard to swallow Aunt Dan-Dan... and it tastes horrible..."

 

[DanDanStrawberry]

[Dan chuckles to self]

Come along now, look I'll show you first
*swallows*
ZARL!! ISHNOPFAPHARPE.

Translated
Look. I have rubber gloves on my feet

 

[Vic Romano]

Aw HAW! Ahw hee... haw kuhwick uz hoo huhwo-uh wuh-haw guhs uhn hor huwee! Hahs hwus uz-uh-uh!

Translation
Ah ha! I see... the trick is to wear rubber gloves on your feet! That's much easier!

*GLOM MUNCH CHEW SPURGLE SLUMCK CHOMP MUFGEL*

 

[FISH'N'WOLFE]

Wharf arf yoof doofing?? Tharfs arf moof coofshions!! *Bites onto Vic's cushion and starts tugging*

Translation: What are you doing?? Those are my cushions!!

 

[christyb]

Hey, anyone know when Christy and Grandma are coming back from Europe?

I can answer that with another postcard from Mother. In other words....I ain't gotta clue. Soon I hope!

Dear all,

I hope all is well with you. I know I was hoping to return by now. However, Grandma wants to see Russia before she dies. Why, I don't know. So in order to please her. That and the fact she tied me up and forced me to go. We are now visiting Russia. This globe-trotting has to stop though. I miss you all and I'm ready to go home. Father, take good care of the twins and Vic. Also, don't forget to remodel your office into a bedroom for my mother.

Love,
Mother.

 

[Vic Romano]

Aunt Dan-Dan and I are trying to eat here, dog! You hog my Playstation!? I hog your cushions!

CHRISTY! Er, I mean mom! The twins tried to kill me, and I haven't seen dad here at home since I woke up (granted I've been fast asleep for three weeks, but still!).

 

[That Announcer]

(rings doorbell)

Hi! Mr. Moppet? I need to speak to you for a minute or two here. I come from the census bureau, and I need to ask you your opinions on the current state of the world. Global warming? Nuclear war? Bush? A POSSIBLE RESURGENCE OF DAN QUAYLE? THE UNABOMBER? POISONOUS COFFEE? A WORLDWIDE EPIDEMIC OF BEDWETTING? TELL ME, MR MOPPET! I need to know your opinions on this! If we didn't do surveys we couldn't release disturbing studies! And do you know what would happen if we didn't release disturbing studies? THE END OF THE WORLD, Mr. Moppet! Yes, The End Of The World! No more! Armageddon! PRAISE THE LORD! PRAISE JESUS! Amino ho vo sanctum, es pres te did te ad um. Yes! Latin mass! I remember the day when everything was done in Latin! Corpus Christi! I remember that so fondly. See? No more Latin! I was right! We missed that study there a while ago! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! Hold on a second. Is that nitroglycerin you're holding, Mr. Moppet? No! Don't throw it at me! NOOOO!

(door slams)

 

[The Count]

*Going over Christy's latest postcard.

Russia? Well, I guess she'd want to see the onion domes of the Kremlin or St. Peterburg's cathedral.

Just hope she comes back soon, I need to tell someone the news about Izzy. And especially what with waiting here in the hospital and...