The Missing Muppet Movie

[ZeppoAndFriends]

This is an idea for a movie I came up with that I hope to pitch to Disney one day (and watch as they laugh in my face and throw me out).

Basic plot: Kermit gets kidnapped.

Since I have not yet begun to type it out I will leave you with the trailer.




After the 'THIS PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES' screen it cuts to a raging sky.

Narrator
It is coming.​

Lightning flashes silhouetting an 'Indiana Jones' type explorer.​

Narrator
The most evil and destructive force the world has
the world has ever known. And there is only one man
who can stop it. This summer prepare...​

There is a warping noise as the film begins to break. Another voice begins to speak:​

Announcer
We interrupt this preview of a movie you actually care
about for this important trailer.​

Cut to​

The news desk of an actual news program. The Newsman runs in and sits down.​

Newsman
Here is a Muppet News Flash! The Wipe-A-Way paper
towel company has gone out of business. When asked what
they were planning to do with the surplus stock the
company president stated, 'We'll find something to do
with them'. As of yet they have not found anything to do...​

The Newsman is bombarded with rolls of paper towels and his co-anchor takes over.​

Co-anchor
In other news the...​

A large furry arm reaches in and slaps a new piece of paper down in front of her.​

Co-anchor
This just in! Kermit the Frog has been kidnapped!​

Cut to​

A large group of Muppets grouped around a small TV set.​

All
(gasp)​

Cut to​

A montage of clips from past Muppet movies.​

Narrator
They've faced jewel thieves.​

Clips from 'The Great Muppet Caper'.​

Narrator
They've faced con artists.​

Clips from 'The Muppets Take Manhattan'.​

Narrator
They've faced classic literature.​

Clips from 'The Muppet Christmas Carol' and 'Muppet Treasure Island'.​

Narrator
They've faced...fast food franchises?​

Clips from 'The Muppet Movie'.​

Narrator
But now, when their leader is taken...​

Cut to​

Miss Piggy, who is clinging to the roof of the kidnapper's getaway car.​

Piggy
I'll teach you to mess with my frog!​

Narrator
...they'll do anything...​

Cut to​

Fozzie Bear is walking across the roof of an abandoned warehouse wearing a pair of Muppet Labs Magnetic Shoes.​

Narrator
...to take him back.​

Cut to​

Pepe and Animal facing down one of the kidnapper's henchmen.​

Animal
(Belches)​

The henchman passes out.​

Pepe
That was disgusting, okay.​

Narrator
Prepare for action.​

Cut to​

A spectacular car chase scene in which Gonzo is seen hanging from the passenger side window of the car that The Muppets are driving.​

Narrator
Prepare for romance.​

Cut to​

Kermit and Piggy sitting in a darkened movie theater inches away from kissing each other.​

Narrator
Prepare for...​

Cut to​

Six rats in tuxedos doing a tap dancing number.​

Narrator
...dancing rats? What kind of movie is this?​

Cut to​

Statler and Waldorf in front of a black background.​

Statler
A bad one!​

Both
(Laugh)​

Narrator
The Missing Muppet Movie!​

I'm accepting suggestions for better titles.​

 

[JEANYLASER]

That's good title! awesome beginning! I can't wait to read more suspense!

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

That's good title! awesome beginning! I can't wait to read more suspense!

I don't think it's such a good title. I'm hoping someone can help me with a better one!

Technically it's not the beginning. It's just a fake trailer (that I'm hoping to use IF it actually gets made).

 

[JEANYLASER]

I understand!

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

OK! I'm sorry if I over-explained it.

 

[Muppetfan44]

The trailer was great!

Definitely interested to see what happens

I can't really think of anything for the title, the only thing that popped into my mind was Frognapped. Keep working on it, it sounds great!

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

What do you kind folks think about 'Muppetnapped'.

That way it gets the word Muppet in there and gives the viewer an idea of what happens.

 

[JEANYLASER]

"muppetnapped" is a great title I love it! Here's another title idea "The Search for Kermit The Frog!"

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Part 1

I present to you the first part of what I have officially titled:

FROGNAPPED!
A MUPPET ADVENTURE​

(Thanks for the title suggestion Muppetfan44)​

Ext.-Building-Night

Open upon the exterior of a building that looks like it has just been blown up. A MUSCULAR MAN (cameo) wearing a white T-shirt and jeans emerges looking no worse for wear, considering he had just been buried in a building’s worth of bricks and plywood. He reaches off camera and pulls in a GOREGOUS WOMAN (cameo). He then utters a cheesy typical-action-hero phrase.

Man
I told you I could handle it.
*or*
That takes care of that.​

PAN AROUND to reveal that what we’ve been viewing was just a movie that a theater full of Muppets and people are also watching. PAN UP past the rows of people and Muppets. FLOYD and JANICE are sitting snuggled close together while ANIMAL sits next to them, noisily devouring a large bucket of popcorn. PEPE is trying to get close to the HUMAN WOMAN sitting next to him. CRAZY HARRY looks happy that something has blown up in this movie. THE SWEDISH CHEF has a pair of 3-D glasses on, despite the fact that the movie isn’t in 3-D. An unfocused LEW ZEALAND takes no notice as SWEETUMS plucks the fish out of his hand and eats it. DR. TEETH’S look is wide eyed but ZOOT is paying more attention to his feet than the movie. GONZO is trying to get the last Gummy-Thing out of his box while RIZZO sits next to him, lounging in a popcorn bucket. ROWLF is furiously scratching at his arm. STATLER and WALDORF have fallen asleep out of boredom. ROBIN has fallen asleep for completely different reasons. Upon seeing Robin asleep, SCOOTER checks his watch, accidentally dumping his soda out on his lap. SAM THE EAGLE is staring at the wall, his head set in his wing. BEAKER is watching the movie intently; BUNSEN is cleaning his glasses. KERMIT and MISS PIGGY are sitting next to each other. FOZZIE sits in the seat on the other side of Kermit. The noise from the screen suggests that the MUSCULAR MAN and GOREGOUS WOMAN are now playing a game of tonsil hockey.

MISS PIGGY
(Sigh)
Isn’t it romantic?​

KERMIT
Yeah, if you don’t mind the explosions.​

Miss Piggy slowly leans over and puts her head on Kermit’s shoulder.

KERMIT
Piggy.​

Miss Piggy quickly sits up again. A few moments pass and she tries again.

KERMIT
(Sigh)​

FOZZIE
Great movie, huh?​

KERMIT
(Sigh)​

CUT TO​

Ext.-Cineplex-Night
The marquee blares ‘Hensonville Cineplex’ and shows a list of the playing movies, ‘Coo-Coo Nuts‘, ‘Call of the Mild’, ‘EXPLOSION: The Movie’, ‘From Here to Over There’, Phish and Chipper’, ‘Pointless 2’, ‘Much Ado About Something or Other’, ‘Steer Wars’, ‘Caps Locke’ and ‘Scouts 3: Urban Wilderness’.
It’s a nice night. The sky is clear, the stars are out, the moon is full and there is a slight breeze blowing.
PAN DOWN to see the front doors, just as the crowd spills into the parking lot. As the crowd of Muppets pass we can hear snippets of conversation.

SAM
What has happened to the art
of American cinema?​

LEW ZEALAND
I could’ve sworn I had Seymour
with me when I came in.​

Sweetums follows Lew, humming innocently. Scooter is carrying the still sleeping Robin. Rowlf is still scratching at his arm.

FOZZIE
Hey, Rowlf, what’s wrong?​

ROWLF
I don’t think that my new flea shampoo
is working.​

Gonzo is carrying Rizzo’s popcorn bucket with Rizzo still sitting in it.

GONZO
I think you need to lay off the midnight
snacks, Rizzo. You’re getting kinda heavy.​

The head of a second rat pops out of the popcorn and there is suddenly upbeat party music.

RAT
Hey, Rizzo! Are you coming back to the party?​

RIZZO
Yeah, I’m comin’.​

The rat disappears under the popcorn and the music becomes muffled.

GONZO
You’re having a party in there?​

RIZZO
Yeah, ‘scuse me.​

Rizzo disappears under the popcorn, too. Gonzo looks down into the bucket.

GONZO
Can I come?​

Beaker and The Swedish Chef are explaining something to Bunsen, who is hanging on their every word.

BEAKER
Meep, meep mee-mee, mee-mee
meep-meep mee mo (mimics explosion).​

BUNSEN
Oh, dear!​

SWEDISH CHEF
Und den de hurro mhen und de leddi
ber de smoochie-smoochie.​

BUNSEN
(snickers) I did miss something, didn’t I?
(sigh) I should have cleaned my glasses before we left.​

Floyd approaches Kermit, dragging Animal on his leash.

FLOYD
Hey, Kermit.​

KERMIT
Yeah.​

FLOYD
Dr. Teeth was wondering if there was enough time
to run the bus through the car wash tonight.​

KERMIT
Not tonight, Floyd, it’s getting pretty late, Robin’s
already fallen asleep and…​

PAN OVER to the WOMAN Pepe was attempting to romance. A DRAMATIC STING plays as she comes into view. A fancy black sports car pulls up to her and she gets in.

CUT TO​

Int.-Fancy Black Sports Car-Night
The woman is sitting in the front seat with a BURLY HENCHMAN next to her, in the driver’s seat. A SHADOWY FIGURE in the back seat speaks:

FIGURE
What did you find out.​

WOMAN
You were right, the frog appears to be the
leader of the group. He’d be the most likely
candidate. But there’s a small problem.​

FIGURE
What?​

WOMAN
The pig.​

The Figure looks out the window at the group of Muppets. Miss Piggy is karate chopping Pepe for some unknown reason.

FIGURE
That’s a small problem?​

WOMAN
I’m sure a couple of out boys could keep her
occupied long enough that we could make
off with the frog.​

FIGURE
Are you sure? I don’t want any screw-ups
on this. There is no second try!​

WOMAN
I’m sure. And another thing, I’m done with
these up close surveillance jobs.​

FIGURE
Why?

WOMAN
That creepy shrimp kept hitting on me.​

Feel free to comment! Part 2 is coming soon!​

 

[JEANYLASER]

I love it! Awesome!