Sorry for the extended hiatus (I saw a doctor!), but my writer's block got the best of me.
NOW PREPARE FOR PART 5 OF:
FROGNAPPED!
INT: AIRPORT - DAY
Through the bustling crowds emerge TANYA and HAROLD, a panicking elderly couple in tropical clothes.
TANYA
Hurry, Harold! They’re going to land any minute!
HAROLD
I’m going as fast as can, Hon! My ankle’s acting up again!
TANYA
OH! I’m sorry! Does it hurt?
HAROLD
Nah! It just doesn’t want to move.
The loudspeakers SQUEAK to life and a female voice is heard over them.
VOICE
JMH, flight five-five-nine-zero is now arriving at gate four.
TANYA
Is that theirs?
HAROLD
Did she say here it was coming from?
TANYA
No.
HAROLD
Well, do you know where are they coming from?
TANYA
No.
HAROLD
Did the script say anything about it?
TANYA
Still no.
HAROLD
Lousy writers.
Tanya rushes off and Harold shuffles off after her.
INT: GATE
The crowd of tourists enter the gate and branch off, going in all directions. The last one off is Steve, who still has his newspaper obscuring his face. He walks off in a random direction, watching Kermit and Piggy as they make their way through the crowd. He bumps into someone blue, fuzzy and incredibly familiar, wearing a security guard’s uniform.
GROVER
Oh, sir! You must take care to watch where you are going!
You might walk into a wall and hurt yourself
or you might break your spiffy looking sunglasses.
STEVE
(Not taking his eyes off Kermit)
Yeah I will, thanks.
Steve walks off, leaving Grover alone.
GROVER
I have done my good deed for this movie.
CUT TO
INT: AIRPORT
Tanya and Harold are standing in the middle of the bustling crowd. Tanya pulls out a sign that reads ‘Kermit the Frog and Co.’ and holds it upside down. Harold takes quick notice of this.
HAROLD
The sign’s upside down.
Tanya quickly flips it over.
TANYA
Sorry! I’m just so nervous! To think someone as
famous a Kermit the Frog is going to be
staying at our hotel.
HAROLD
There’s no need to be nervous.
He may be famous but he’s just like everyone else.
Except that he’s three feet tall and green.
CUT TO
Kermit and Piggy are making their way through the crowd, having just claimed their baggage. Kermit carrying his lone suitcase is a stark contrast to Piggy who is toting a bigger suitcase and a large wheeled bag.
KERMIT
I’m glad you managed to pack light.
PIGGY
Well, it is only a week, after all, and, since we are out of the limelight, I don’t need to look my absolute best all the time.
KERMIT
That’s nice to hear.
CUT TO
Steve follows Kermit and Piggy through the crowd, being careful not to draw attention to himself. His plan is thrown out the window when his cell phone begins to blare ‘
Mahna Mahna’ and several bystanders turn to stare at him. Steve pulls out his phone, silences it and shoves it back in his pocket. He looks around at the staring crowd and they quickly begin minding their own business again. Steve looks around trying to locate Kermit and Piggy again. He can’t.
STEVE
(Growls in frustration)
CUT TO
Tanya and Harold are slowly walking through the crowd backwards waiting for Kermit and Piggy to find them.
HAROLD
Are we even sure that they’ve landed yet?
TANYA
They were supposed to land at ten and it’s ten fifteen now,
so they must be here somewhere.
CUT TO
Kermit and Piggy are doing the exact same thing.
PIGGY
Are you certain they even know we’re here?
KERMIT
I’m certain. Fozzie said that the owners of the hotel wanted to come and pick us up.
PIGGY
Well I don’t see them.
Kermit, Piggy, Tanya and Harold all wind up backing into each other, causing Tanya to drop her sign and Kermit and Piggy to drop their bags.
PIGGY
HEY! Watch it!
KERMIT
Piggy! I’m sorry! See, we were looking for someone and…
HAROLD
Well, we were looking for someone, too and you’re them.
Tanya picks up her sign and shows it to Kermit with a friendly smile.
PIGGY
OH! Well…
HAROLD
I’m Harold and this is my wife, Tanya.
Kermit shakes their hands.
KERMIT
Glad to meet you.
TANYA
We’re so glad that you’re letting us be in your movie.
KERMIT
Well, we were happy to let you.
HAROLD
If we could get back to said movie for a minute, we should probably get going.
KERMIT
Okay.
HAROLD
Okay, the bus is right outside.
EXT: AIRPORT
The bus in question is actually a tropically painted mini-bus with the name and address of the hotel on the sides and back.
KERMIT
Nice.
PIGGY
Beats the one we normally ride in.
CUT TO
Steve runs out of the front doors and looks around, panicking. His phone, once again begins to blare the familiar tune. He whips the phone out, regains his composure and answers.
STEVE
Hello.
FIGURE
(Over phone)
Why didn‘t you pick up?
STEVE
I was in the middle of something!
FIGURE
(O.P.)
You got him yet?
STEVE
We just landed! You really expect me to have
gotten him already!
FIGURE
(O.P.)
Of course not! I wanted to make sure you didn’t blow it!
STEVE
I’m not stupid, you know! I know you can’t go and kidnap someone in the middle of a crowded airport!
FIGURE
(O.P.)
Well do you have visual contact?
STEVE
I did until you called!
FIGURE
(O.P.)
I told you to pick a more conspicuous ring tone!
STEVE
If you weren’t so danged impatient I…
Steve spots Kermit and Piggy boarding the hotel bus.
STEVE
I gotta go!
Steve flips his phone shut and makes a dash for an unattended rental car.
Watch out for both the new version of
Aloha, Mr. Frog! and Part 6!