The corny joke thread

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!" Doctor says, "I don't have time for bad jokes, there are Cybermen in the basement!"

...don't hit me.

I just got that after staring at it a few seconds. At first I thought it was like one of those anti-jokes my sister keeps telling me, where the end has nothing to do with the set up.

But once I got it, it was funny.

 

[Dominicboo1]

What would Santa's reindeers rather be?

Dancers!

 

[beakerboy12]

The corny joke thread? Aw, shucks! I love corny jokes!

 

[Speed Tracer]

A Star Wars joke I'm a big fan of...

Why did Anakin turn to the dark side?

It was all the rage!

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

What do you call a bear with earmuffs on?

Cold.

 

[Teheheman]

A duck walks into a bar and he says "Got any duck food?"
Bartender says, "No, we don't serve ducks here, you're gonna have to get out of here"
Duck leaves, comes back an hour later and says "Got any duck food?"
Bartender says "No, and I told you we don't SERVE ducks here, now scram"
Duck leaves, comes back an hour later saying "Got any duck food?"
Bartender says "NO, now I'm telling you for the last time, we don't serve ducks here, and if you come back in here, I'll nail your beak to the bar"
Duck leaves, comes back an hour later and says "Got any nails?"
Bartender says "No", so the duck says "Got any duck food?"

Daniel

 

[KirbTreelo05]

My brother bought "Marvel v.s. Capcom 3" over the winter break and we ended up making some material with Ryu:

(Say Ryu's eating something like a plate of cookies...)
Some Random Character: Hey, Ryu, can I have one?
Ryu: SUUUUREYOUCAN!

And...

Who is Ryu's favorite Jackson sibling?

LaTOYA!

 

[D'Snowth]

So this simple-minded country boy walks in and says he needs to use the bathroom, specifically number two, but there's a problem: there's no toilet paper in the bathroom.

So the other guy tells him to just use a dollar instead. Good idea, the country boy things. Ten minutes later, he finally comes out of the bathroom, a foul smell following him, and others see his hands covered in poop. "What happened?" The other guy asked. "Didn't I tell you to use a dollar?" "Yeah, but I didn't have one," the country boy said, "so instead I used three quarters, a dime, and two nickels."

 

[Teheheman]

Guy goes into a Dr's office
Dr says "I have good news, and bad news"
Guy goes "What's the good news?"
Dr. says "We're gonna name a disease after you"

Daniel

 

[fuzzygobo]

One day a lunatic escaped from the asylum, ran to a house of ill repute, and went to bed with a prostitute. The next day the newspaper headline read:

NUT BOLTS AND SCREWS!!!!