The corny joke thread

[D'Snowth]

A man had two horses, but he couldn't figure out which one was which. He called his friend who told him to mark one with chalk. It rained and the chalk washed off. Then, his friend told him to cut one of the horse's hair. It grew back later. Then, his friend told him to measure the two horses. The man called his friend back and tells him, "You're a genius! My grey horse is taller than my brown horse!"

Boy I'm think, I almost didn't get that one at first...

 

[D'Snowth]

Okay, here's the corniest joke to end all corny jokes...

What would you put into a fake toilet?

Give up?

Shampoo.

 

[Teheheman]

I saw this on a Brian Regan DVD, where his son said he had a joke for his career. He said that he went up into his room and asked what his joke was.
'Why don't dinosaurs talk?'
Why?
Because they're all dead

Daniel

 

[Gelfling Girl]

If you had 10 cookies and Cookie Monster ate one, how many would you have?







OM NOM NOM!









None. Cookie wouldn't eat just one.

 

[muppets2]

Do you know why they named the 405 freeway the 405?




Because you wait there for 4 or 5 hours

 

[Gelfling Girl]

Two girls locked their keys in their car. The first girl says, "We need to find a way to get the keys out of the car. It's about to rain." The other girl then responds, "Yeah, and we left the convertible roof down."

 

[muppets2]

how do you repair a broken tomato?




Tomato paste!

 

[APRena]

Whaddaya call a deer with no eyes?

No idear.

 

[muppets2]

where do horses live?



In neigh-borhoods

 

[Gelfling Girl]

Here's a joke for all they psychics reading this...