The corny joke thread

[GonzoLover85]

Here's a joke for all they psychics reading this...

HA..

There once was this frog, and he was interested in buying a house. So he went to the bank to get a loan. The loan officer he was speaking to, who happened to be named Patti Black, told him he would need something for collateral. So, the frog went home and grabbed his favourite scuplture that he kept above his fireplace. When he brought it back to the bank, Patti Black had some trouble figuring out it's worth, so she called over the bank manager and asked him what it was. He replied to her:
"It's a knick-knack Patti Black, give the frog a loan."

 

[D'Snowth]

HA..

There once was this frog, and he was interested in buying a house. So he went to the bank to get a loan. The loan officer he was speaking to, who happened to be named Patti Black, told him he would need something for collateral. So, the frog went home and grabbed his favourite scuplture that he kept above his fireplace. When he brought it back to the bank, Patti Black had some trouble figuring out it's worth, so she called over the bank manager and asked him what it was. He replied to her:
"It's a knick-knack Patti Black, give the frog a loan."

OLD! Lol.

 

[GonzoLover85]

OLD! Lol.

Wow, you're right. Told several times over. OK. How about this one:

Dr. Jones was new in town, and after a particularly bad day at the hospital, he decided he would go to a bar for a drink. When he got there he discovered that the bar-tender specialized in making daquiri's. Jones thought, Why not try one? So, Dr. Jones ordered a daquiri with some walnut shavings on top for extra flavour and discovered that it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

This daquiri with walnut shavings was so good that he went there the next day after work for another one, and the next day, and the next day, always ordering the same drink. After some time the bartended got to know Dr. Jones and could figure out when he would arrive at the bar and he would get his daquiri ready for him before he arrived.

One day, the bartender realized he was out of walnuts to shave onto the drink, so he substituted hickory nuts for the walnuts.
Dr. Jones came in to his pre-prepared drink, took a sip and immediately spit it out, demanding: "This isn't my usual, barkeep, what is this?"

The bartender replied "It's a hickory daquiri doc..."

 

[Oscarfan]

If #2 pencils are so popular, why are they still #2?

 

[tutter_fan]

Probably because pens are #1!

 

[Reevz1977]

Hows about this one:

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Interupting Cow"
"Interupting Cow wh..."
"Moooooo"

My favourite joke of all time!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23001839@N02/

 

[D'Snowth]

Here's a joke that I made up that's so corny and lame, it has to be done in the style of a game of "Scenes from a Hat"...

DREW CAREY: *Pulls card out of hat* "Alternate names for Mad Magazine"...
ME: *Walks out on stage* Highlights for Sadists.

 

[Oscarfan]

What do you frozen band-aids for?





Cold cuts!

 

[APRena]

What's blackandwhiteandblackandwhiteandblackandwhite?
A penguin rolling down a hill.

What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin that pushed him.

 

[Super Scooter]

What did the Mexican chef say about the weather?

It's gonna be chili today, but hot tamale!